Thursday, September 24, 2015

Nittany Valley Uber Alles

Well, dearest motherfuckers, it's another football season here in Happy fucking Hell. That disgusting time of the year that the parasitic Paternoites here in Central Pennsylvania hold so near and dear. Another year of tailgating and fantasy foolishness. Another year of shallow victory and deep oceans of alcohol. Another year of wallowing in joyful ignorance and learning absolutely fucking nothing and I feel sick.

How many years has it been? My Lyme fried brain can't seem to recall anymore. Not long enough, apparently, because it still feels like yesterday. Forty some childhoods torn to ribbons by the cruel savagery of Jerry Sandusky and and the cold calculated indifference of his still beloved handler, Joe Paterno. Jerry is all but forgotten, erased, wiped clean from this counties selective memory, as if that foul beast never even existed. But not Paterno. Old Jo-Pa is more alive then he's ever been. In death his legend has only grown. The great, glorious god of football who's shadow blankets this loathsome place in a din of ignorance rarely seen outside of third world dictatorships.

Take a brisk autumn walk through the picturesque streets of downtown State College and Joe's presence quickly becomes unavoidable (trust me, I've tried). His army of infinite portraits look over every square inch of livable space, holding his happy fucking hermit kingdom trapped eternally in the prison of his steely bespectacled gaze. In those dead paper eyes we are all Jo-Pa's children and Jo-Pa's children aim to please there undead master.

Restoring the wins, Revising history and drinking themselves stupid on Joe Paterno brand beer. What victims? There are no victims. Only conquest, victory and bowl eligibility. Never mind the sobbing children bleeding from unspeakable places, there tortured cries barely audible over the newly restored roar of Beaver Stadium. Who wants to bother with such ugliness when we have statues to rebuild and legacies to maintain.

So what if Joe Paterno knew everything. So what if he did nothing for god knows how long. So what if he continued to entertain that monster in the sanctity of the household where he raised his own fucking children. Who fucking cares about anything. Like that rotting old shit crowed from his doorway before he finally dropped dead, "WE ARE PENN STATE!". We can't be bothered with such unpleasant details. It's all lies after all, at least according Jo-Pa's vile widow. We'll just do what she did, deny the facts and sweep them under our Nittany Lion rugs, like Germans in Auschwitz, hiding acrid clouds of billowing black smoke behind doily Bavarian curtains. We'll deny, we'll deny, we'll deny, deny, deny and we'll all get good and drunk and watch some fucking football.

Who are we? What the hell have we become? What happened to this town I use to proudly call my own? Has it always been this way? Have I been blind half my life? When did team spirit and hometown pride become a disease that strips us of our most basic sense of humanity and dignity? I grew up with these fucking people. Have they all become monsters or have I just become more human somehow? Did my years of self imposed isolation make me somehow immune to there sickness? How can I save people who have no will to change? How the hell do I reason with people who prefer there delusions of grandeur over reality.

I have no answers to these questions and having to ask them over and over, as much to myself as anybody else, makes me feel sick inside but I can't just sit idly by and ignore the ugliness of this place I call home or the people I once loved. You can't just go on denying the past and never expect to repeat it. Jerry Sandusky raped over forty innocent children and Joe Paterno and the university he loved covered it up and even worse this community continues to do the same damn thing while celebrating the unrepentant criminals in spite of there crimes against humanity.

Until these harsh truths are excepted and these demons are exorcised, Nittany Valley doesn't deserve to have its precious fucking football team or the dirty money it brings with it. Far from going too far, the NCAA didn't go far enough. Penn State should have been given the death penalty and you can fucking quote me on that.

Repent! State College, repent! For the love of god, repent! Until you do, this native son won't give you one moments peace.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The Orange Menace Rises

What foul, orange beast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Washington? A creature far too repulsive to be deserving of a human name. A creature they call Trump. Posing, posturing, lips twisted in knots, twisted and flexed, teeth gnashing violently, chewing up the English language and spitting it back out like acid, eyes squinting, mincing, head slung over shoulders like a vulture eyeing its tender prey, skin burnt and stained the color of nicotine, mangled hair shellacked against skull like a calcified ginger merkin caked in dry semen, arms stiff, slicing through the air violently like the claws of a mantis, reaching out blindly for the throat of another doomed lover, it's words make little sense, it's words are not words, it doesn't speak, it barks, it yelps, it squeals, it demands attention, it won't be deprived, it will not be ignored.

I find myself asking, in this dark, witching hour, is this it? Is this how it ends? With the racist rantings of a mutated, Wall Street rodeo clown. Could this really be the fabled decline of western civilization forecast by everyone from Marx to Spengler? And if it is, why am I the only one terrified? Why is the whole world laughing?

I desperately, desperately, wanted to avoid this subject but I can't stay silent anymore. This spectacle called Trump has become far to dangerous to ignore. I don't fear the creature itself. A sad, worthless freak, the product of morally derelict oligarchs and sadomasochistic boarding school rituals, the kind of beast that could only be spawned by the one percent, damned with enough money to fail forever without repercussions, a thing so devoid of basic humanity it can only survive in a delusional fantasy world of ego-maniacal self worship. No, I don't fear Trump the "man", if you can call it that. I fear Trump the spectacle, a mob of bloodthirsty, runaway sheeple, turned rabid by the fevered dream of nationalist revival and revenge against a race of stateless peasants, made convenient scapegoats for the self inflicted wounds of a bankrupt civilization in decline.

It wasn't so long ago that another supposed democracy fell victim to a similar hysteria. Wiemar Germany like America was a humiliated empire bled dry by years of reckless warfare, gripping on to the last vestiges of liberalism before falling under the spell of a cruel, bombastic, buffoon offering the empty promise of conquest at the expense of a demonized race of deemed outsiders. No one took his rants seriously either except his fanatical followers, who had the last laugh beneath overcast skies, dyed black with the ashes of there state prescribed enemies. By then it was too late. By the time the joke was over millions lay dead.

Maybe I'm being over dramatic. I pray to Christ that I am. That we'll all awake from this national nightmare before the first leaves of autumn descend upon us but as the crowds grow and the polls climb and the media refuses to take there little monster seriously, a deep, dark feeling swirls inside me like the terror that originally drove me to the agoraphobic prison of my early-mid twenties and I can't turn my back on the history books that kept me sane during those dark years.

I can't force myself to forget the scientific fact that all empires by nature, crumble and fall. And this traditionally comes about in only one of two ways, revolution or dictatorship. If a populace remains alert, educated and engaged, revolution becomes a solution to catastrophe. But if a populace becomes complacent, ignorant and indifferent, totalitarianism becomes inevitable and catastrophe is sure to follow.

In a nation wallowing in the self indulgence of reality television, social media and consumer electronics, you can forgive me for having serious reservations that America will rediscover its revolutionary roots and go the way of Thomas Paine.

It pains every last fiber of my being to type this but it seems to me much more likely that your average American would prefer the convenience of suicide by fuhrer to the hard work that goes into fostering a true revolutionary renaissance.

Being the anti-statist, libertarian Marxist that I am, I never thought I'd hear myself speak these words but pray for America dearest motherfuckers and stand by our Mexican neighbors. If the Trump's of this world win we'll all be Mexicans soon.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Forget Radical Islam, Fight Wahhabism!

It's 2015 but all anyone can talk about is 2016. Like Christmas, it seems like the start of election season comes earlier and earlier. Only instead of carols we get lies and instead of twinkling lights we get lies and instead of presents under the tree we get, you guessed it, lies, lies, lies and more goddamn lies. So many fucking lies flying from every direction, it feels like a goddamn blizzard of dishonesty. You get dizzy and disoriented and lose track of which empty promise came from which shallow souled hose bag. But then there's the big lies, the goddamndiest lies. The ones too big for just one candidate. So they become like a Gregorian chant. A partisan mantra that goes totally unquestioned and unchallenged. The other candidates all just simply try to shout it louder then the last. This season, the favored mantra of the Republican circus is the bold idea that we're not just at war with terrorism, no that Bush left over is to PC for this crowd, we're at war with radical Islam and each candidate is the only one with the intestinal fortitude to say it, even if the last nine dicks just got done fucking saying it. Unlike that pussy, serial bomber Barack Obama and his oh so doveish  air apparent Madame Killary, these war mongers aren't afraid to be rude about there atrocities. No sir, these are men! Real men! Beer chugging, pistol packing, Bible thumping, hard fighting, hard fucking, hard farting, big dick swinging Republican men. The kind of men you could get shit faced with, the kind of men who could help you mulch your lawn and dismember a mouthy mistress, all in one afternoon, and still be home for the big game! Yeah! These are real men! Not just men but guys! Bro's! Dudes! And there not afraid to roll up there sleeves, fist fuck the word police and declare unilateral war against an entire religion they clearly don't know the first thing about, yeah! Guy stuff! Fuck radical Islam! USA! USA! USA!! USA!!!!....

But what does that even fucking mean? The problem is radical Islam? OK, but how do you define radical Islam? Everybody's first go-to after ISIS always seems to be Iran but how radical is Iran really? The cold, hard truth that you rarely hear from an American is that Iran, in reality, is probably the most moderate Islamic government in the region. Western culture, as putrid as it often is, is widely excepted and even embraced by the Iranian people. Iranian women, who are notoriously head strong and outspoken, have the right to drive, the right to work, even the right to vote. In fact, during the US fueled Iran-Iraq War, whole battalions of Persian women fought off Saddam's invaders, firing Kalashnikov's in full hijab's like Twelver riot grrrrl's and proving themselves on the same battlefields as there husbands and brothers. Is Iran a chauvinist, homophobic theocracy? Of coarse, but compared to there Arab neighbors, who the GOP hopeful's just fucking love, Tehran looks like fucking Disneyland (you know, but with less fat people). In Saudi Arabia a woman can't so much as even break wind without the approval of her husband without getting a one way ticket to Floggistan (where the beatings are hers and hers and hers!) courtesy of the Police of Vice and Virtue and that's if there lucky. But no, Iran's the bad guy and the Saudi's are our friends, right? Bullshit! Time for another history lesson, dearest motherfuckers, buckle up.

America's sadomasochistic love affair with Saudi Arabia begins in 1938, when American geologist's discovered petroleum in the under developed desert fiefdom. The House of Saud, which had previously been a protectorate of the doomed British Empire, decided to switch sugar daddies, kicking the limey's to the curve and jumping head first into the cash stuffed bosom of Lady Liberty. But the Saudi's always held loftier ambitions then being some honky's dusty bitch state, no, much like there new partners in the US, the Saudi's wanted in on the empire racket and oil wasn't the only card they had to play. The Saudi's also had Islam, thanks to there occupation of the religion's holiest landmark, Mecca. There was only one little problem with this. Islam, much like its cousin Christianity, was notoriously anti-imperialist but, shit, that didn't stop the Brits and the Yanks from using the Cross to rape half the globe, why should it stop them. So the Saudi's did what there western patrons did and created a heretical, bastardized version of Islam that glorified the notion of world domination under the yoke of a modern day caliphate. The Saudi's created Wahhabism, the foundation of all modern jihadism from the Mujaheddin to the Islamic State.

The Saudi Kingdom exported there new cult through a network of madrasa's or Islamic schools, peppered through out the poverty stricken Islamic world, giving impoverished young Muslims there first and often only opportunity for a real education then brainwashing them into associating the ancient, peaceful religion of Islam with brutality and suicidal conquest but Wahhabism didn't truly take off until Uncle Sam got involved.

Flashback; 1978, After years of struggle, a band of daring, young, Afghani socialists manage to launch a successful revolution, overthrowing the corrupt, western backed oligarchy who had made the tiny mountain nation of Afghanistan one of the poorest and most backward places on earth. The brave new revolutionaries quickly got busy leading the brave new Democratic Republic of Afghanistan (DRA) into the 20th century, abolishing feudalism, enacting land reform and granting unprecedented rights to women and minorities. Though the revolution itself was a wholly independent, homegrown endeavor, the DRA quickly formed an alliance with there next door neighbors in the USSR, who were more then happy to spread the gospel of secular socialism to the Muslim world.

Meanwhile, back in Washington, some powerful people were paying close attention to these events in Central Asia, chief among them was then President Carter's globalist Rasputin, National Security Adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski (remember him?) who saw both threat and promise in the new Afghani government. The threat? The creation of an enviable alternative to the soulless drudgery of western capitalism in the Muslim world or as good old Zbigs put it "the threat of a promising example". The promise? Well, the opportunity for crippling Cold War chaos of coarse. Afghanistan was a nation ripe for unrest with a new unstable democracy and plenty of zealots, opium farmers and warlords to recruit and use to plunge the DRA into anarchy, creating a vacuum that would inevitably draw the Soviets into an unwinnable military quagmire or as one Pentagon official described it "there own Vietnam". In order to achieve this hideous goal, however, Uncle Sam needed an army and the dope lords and acid hurling Imams weren't quite enough.

That's where the Saudi's came in, who agreed to use there network of madrasas and banks to collect, arm, train and fund a makeshift international mercenary force that would come to be known as the Mujaheddin and so it was written and so it was done. Supposed dove Jimmy Carter signed off on all the necessary paper work and the Saudis happily built there dream army of Wahhabist wack jobs who busied themselves slaughtering teachers, raping little girls and burning down the schools that attempted to teach them how they could be more then just shackled broodmares for bearded sheep shaggers and Zbigniew and his sheikhs didn't stop at setting there sights on little Afghanistan. They wanted to set all of the Caucus' on fire, blazing a trail of jihadist misery from Kabul, deep into the Soviet Union with its sizable Muslim population, sewing the seeds of war through Tajikistan, Dagestan, Chechnya and beyond, giving the Soviets no choice but to engage the source of the chaos in Afghanistan and stepping right into our Afghan trap.

A decade later with millions dead or wounded and the Soviets war zapped economy in the toilet, the Red Army finally bailed, leaving the once hopeful revolution of Afghanistan to be torn to shreds by Wahhabist wolves but Kabul's descent back into the Dark Ages was only the beginning of the nightmare. With the war more or less over, Saudi Arabia's Mujaheddin spread to all corners of the globe like a plague, carrying the toxic creed of Wahhabism with them. The post Cold War world quickly found itself awash in an orgy of brutality unlike anything they had ever encountered before and it didn't take long for these ugly roosters to come home to roost in the land of the leaders who made there very existence possible, with vaunted veterans of our great Soviet trap bombing our embassies in Africa and the World Trade Center in New York.

From the smoldering ashes of the Mujaheddin rose the Taliban, Al Qaeda, Al Nusra and eventually ISIS, igniting bloody conflicts on almost every continent, all, and I do mean ALL, with the full support of the mothership back in Riyadh. This includes 911. 28 pages of the Congressional Joint Inquiry into the attacks on September 11, 2001 remain classified and off limits to the public. These particular pages detail the assistance foreign governments gave to the hijackers. Only members of Congress can read these pages with the approval of the Senate Intelligence Committee and even then they are bound by law to keep there contents secret but most of the Senators and Congressmen, in both parties, who have read these pages have come away shocked and became outspoken critics of US-Saudi relations. You do the fucking math. And lets not forget it was our homies, the Saudi's who payed the Pakistani's to keep there little guest in Abbotabad a guarded secret and all of this shit has gone down while we prop up those twisted sheikh's with billions of our own fucking tax dollars!

These are the Middle Eastern allies the GOP hopefuls hold in such high esteem. The "good Muslims" who will help us crush ISIS, another gang of degenerate Wahhabists who have benefited greatly from Saudi charity. But no! The Saudi's aren't the problem. That distinction belongs to Iran and Iran alone. Never mind the fact that Iran has never invaded another sovereign country while the Saudi's obliterate Yemen, for overthrowing a despotic Saudi puppet, as we speak. But this is Iran's fault too, somehow, for sharing the same religion with the Houthi rebels who want nothing more then for the slaughter of there people to cease. Never mind the fact that Iran, more then any other nation, has devoted itself entirely to the eradication of  the ISIS cancer in the Middle East. Once again this is somehow Iran's fault for supporting there long time allies in the secular government of Syria but I guess they were asking to have there heads cut off for sickening crime of maintaining a regime that doesn't ethnically cleanse its minorities (GASP! BLASPHEMY!!).

And then of coarse there's Iran's invisible nuclear weapons program, threatening to to trigger a regional arms race. Only, Iran doesn't have a fucking nuclear weapons program! According to our own CIA, such a program has not existed since at least 2003 and there remains zero proof that one ever existed to begin with. Even if one did, I'm sure the Saudi's would have no problem borrowing a nuke or two from there buddies in Israel or Pakistan, who we know for a fact possess these weapons of mass destruction, illegally and yet remain immune to America's selective anti-nuclear hysteria.

If there's one point the Republicans are correct on, it's that there is indeed a sectarian rivalry going on in the Middle East between Tehran and Riyadh. The only problem is that we're on the wrong fucking side. While the Shiite's and even most Sunni's simply want to be left the fuck alone in there own tiny corners of the universe, free from the twin hammers of Zionism and Imperialism, the House of Saud remains as dedicated as ever to there goal of a global Wahhabist caliphate and the Republicans seem more then happy to hand the Middle East over to these butchers in exchange for donations from the Saudi's bloated lobbies and there Zionist cousins.

You wanna be fucking Rambo! You wanna win the war of terror! Then forget about "radical Islam" and set your sights on the real fucking enemy. Declare war on Wahhabism, a putrid, violent, death cult that bares zero resemblance to actual Islam. You don't have to drop bombs to win this war. You just have to stop dropping checks. And lay the fuck off Iran! They may be the only nation capable of strangling this beast once and for all and restoring some assemblage of peace to the Middle East.

Stay safe dearest motherfuckers and if you must venture out into the wild world, make sure you take an umbrella. The blizzard of dishonesty is just gonna get worse from here.