Thursday, January 7, 2016

Fear and Loathing in the Ginger Revolution

Just when I think this election season monster has reached its zenith of gross it chucks up another torrent of vomit and sends me reeling for cover. In a season of gale force puke there seems to be a severe lack of umbrellas to stand beneath.

I found this out first hand while making my rounds about's blog under my nom de guerre, comrade hermit, the other week when a message board for a post on Donald Trump was transformed into a bottomless swamp of nonsensical racist horse-shit by his legion of brain-dead supporters. Just comment after comment of anonymous belligerent barking on what is usually a sensible if poorly attended forum of well-read dorks like myself.

It was like the Newport Folk Festival being crashed by the Aryan Brotherhood. I've never heard so much from so many people with absolutely nothing to say. Naturally, I ended up losing my shit and damning them all as bunch of morally retarded, knuckle dragging, cousin fuckers. It didn't do any good but it made me feel better. As far as I know, those skinheads are still at Newport, blowing wads of would-be sons of the Confederacy in there shorts as they get off agreeing with each other around a bonfire of flaming acoustic instruments (beat that Dylan!).

My point is this shit is everywhere and it's getting worse. I wrote a post on the Trump phenomenon a few months back called the Orange Menace Rises, in which I drew comparisons between the rise of the Donald in the decline of the American Century with the rise of fascism in the ruins of post-World War Europe. At the time I was afraid that maybe I had over reacted a bit. Now, in hindsight, I think if anything I didn't go far enough.

If you don't believe me, just try tuning in to one of that ginger bastard's rallies. They seem to be on every fucking channel all damn day and there always the same. The Donald takes the stage in all his combed-over, Cheeto stained grossness to the rapturous applause of his sweaty, lumpy, snaggle-toothed groupies and spends the better part of the next grueling hour chumming them into a gnashing hate-fuck frenzy with a free-form torrent of proud "I shouldn't be saying this but...." style racism as they eat it up like shit-hungry baby birds. He calls for a Chinese style crackdown on internet freedom. He calls for immigrants to be hauled off at gun point by the trainload. He calls for a ban on all Muslims from entering the country and suggests we should start slaughtering the families of designated terrorists.

Too all of this madness the crowd goes absolutely fucking bat-shit bonkers like every ugly slur that escapes that cretin's sphincter-like lips is a reinvention of the fucking wheel. Sometimes I think he could literally say anything and his ball-capped Brownshirts would dutifully applaud.

The Donald- "I just took a big shit today, a massive shit, beautiful shit, classy, like you wouldn't believe...."

Standard Trump Supporter- "Yeah! You tell em Donald! I shit big too!"

The Donald- "We gotta do something about those lazy Samoans, we gotta do something, I mean I love Samoans, god knows they love me, but they just gotta go!"

Standard Trump Supporter- "Yeah! Throw em all out! I'm not really sure what a Samoan is.... but I'm pretty sure there why my dick's small and I can't get a job!"

& of coarse, inevitably, some brave soul, more often then not, a person of color, will crash the hate-in to protest this despicable spectacle of thinly veiled white nationalism and the ginger fuhrer will sick his plumber-cracked storm troopers on him with the snap of his fingers and this poor bastard will get beaten to a bloody fucking pulp as the crowds roar like Romans at the Colosseum and our nations finest paparazzo in the 24/7 news industry swarm in like vultures to capture the bloody money-shot on celluloid and the cops stand by whistling with there hands in there pockets and Twisted Sisters "We're not gonna take it" explodes from the speakers like the cavalry trumpets of hell. Fade to black and here's Wolf Blitzer to smugly wag his finger at a horror show that his unblinking cameras made possible and we all die a little inside.

There's just something so wrong about all this and I'm not just talking about basic moral decency. Something just doesn't add up. Something just doesn't fucking fit.

For one thing, I've never seen or heard about a cult of personality of this scale developing so quickly. Part of that I suppose was inevitable considering the culture of fear and authoritarianism the GOP has worked so hard to develop over the last several decades. In a lot of ways the things Trump is saying, the xenophobia, the chauvinism, the big dick swinging militarism is just standard Republican boiler-plate stripped of its prime-time ready nuance and laid bare and ugly for all the world to see. Which is a big part of the reason why the parties top brass hate the Donald and the parties mentally polluted little Eichmanns can't get enough him. It's blow-back in the first degree.

But it's more then just that even. Much like ISIS, there is something that feels so prefabricated about the orange menace. It all feels like a story-line lifted from a bad TV movie or a cheap paperback novel bought at the airport. Like Trump is auditioning to play a Dick Tracy super-villain or something. It calls to mind a theory's Justin Raimondo put forward not long after the Donald launched his campaign. The theory that Trump is some kind of false flag, a Trumpchurian candidate, as Justin put it, sent by someone in the Clinton camp to sabotage any hopes the GOP had for victory.

It sounds insane at first until you really think about it carefully. Who is Donald Trump really but a shameless, self-serving, opportunist with an almost fetishistic fixation with the concept of "The Deal". Trump's personal politics before this campaign season were largely right of center at best. He was a pro-choice moderate who showed little interest in immigration or the so called War on Terror. Like any self-respecting billionaire douche-bag, he donated heaps of cash to both parties. Always big business, Beltway insider types like Chuck Schumer and John McCain and he always gave more to the Democrats then the Republicans. Not to mention all the cabbage he shoveled to the Clinton's alone, whom he's developed a very close relationship with over the years. The two even sat front row at Trump's latest wedding.

& just look at how the Donald's ran his campaign. Every move he's made from declaring this countries most eligible minority a pack of rabid rapists to making blatantly sexist remarks about anything in a dress, including his own daughter is almost tailor made to make the GOP look like shit and Hillary look like a savior of sanity by comparison.

& why now? Sure Trump entertained the idea of running for president before but never seriously. It was always some pathetically transparent publicity stunt to shore up ratings or sell books. So why choose this year to take politics seriously? Why choose 2016 to make America hate again?

I believe this question can probably be best answered by asking, who is Hillary Clinton? She is a woman who only agreed to marry a hash-brownie scarfing, serial philanderer like Bill, after his seventh proposal, upon learning of his political ambitions then spent there honeymoon mapping out a ten year plan that ended at the White House. This is a woman who backed her cheating husband's bombing of Kosovo in order to steal attention away from his latest sex scandal. This is a woman who repeatedly turned down peaceful alternatives to the bloodbath in Libya in favor of showing off her skills as a heartless warmonger to the electorate. This is a woman who stepped down from her position as Secretary of State in protest over Obama's refusal to directly bankroll a repeat of her Libyan soft power disaster in Syria.

This is a woman who has devoted her entire miserable existence to the psychopathically single-minded mission of becoming the most powerful woman on earth by any means necessary and she's shown zero qualms about manipulating morons (Bill) and maniacs (Al-Qaeda) both at home and abroad to achieve it and the old Sith Lord is running out of time so why not try a mix of both.

This is also a woman with connections to billionaire media moguls like Haim Saban, that could offer Trump the kind of under the table opportunities a bridge burning, money squandering, trust-fund hump like him could only dream of and he may not be the only pawn in Hillary's grand chess game.

Bernie Sanders is another odd character in this race. A loyal partisan hack and socialist in name only (SINO?) who has always known his place in the DNC and never shaken there apple cart once and now he decides to go rogue and make a maverick run against the parties beloved heir apparent. I don't fucking buy it.

& just look at how old Bernie has ran his campaign. Stirring up and invigorating the very base who cost Hillary the nomination in 2008 only to castrate himself with the now infamous "we're tired of hearing about your damn emails already!" rant during the very first debate, essentially telling the Hillary-sick left "see you guys, she's not so bad, even a rad socialists like me can make nice with her". Like I said, I don't fucking buy it.

It all smells like soft power to me. America's first color war, call it the Ginger Revolution. A well choreographed political upheaval that ends with a career crook in power. A Clinton specialty since the 2000 Bulldozer Revolution in Yugoslavia. Everyone has a role to play and they play it well. Trump plays the arsonist, setting fire to the hillside and sending the terrified moderates running into Hillary's beckoning arms. While Bernie plays the part of the shepherd, guiding the wayward youth vote into the DNC barn and away from the threat of another Nader.

& Madam Killary plays the role of the savior who can only appear sanctified in comparison to a neofascist sludge pile like Trump. There's only one major flaw with this sick little plot. Just like with Clinton's Libyan adventure, she's playing games with the fires of extremism and fires have a tendency to rage out of control.

I sincerely hope that Justin and I are wrong about this. If we're not it could be the final death nail in American democracy's coffin. The only thing that scares me more then Trump and his rabid cult of morons is the possibility that Killary is secretly behind them, either way things are just gonna get grosser till November. Now where did I put that goddamn umbrella.

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