Tuesday, September 19, 2017

The Bright Side Of White Genocide

The white race is under attack! The government and the liberal media are engaged in a conspiracy to ethnically cleanse European Americans through a campaign of miscegenation and mass immigration! If they succeed then white people may be rendered to minority status or, even worse, cease to exist altogether! They call it progress, multiculturalism and anti-racism but what we're really looking at here folks is a white genocide!....

This is the new favorite conspiracy theory of those lovely trolls in the Alt-Right. Most sane people find it to be offensive. I happen to think it's a great idea. I've long stated my belief that race is a lie. A social construct used by pale faced oligarchs to divide the poor against each other and justify their unlimited authority. White is the worst constructed ethnicity of them all, invented to be the bastion of the master class, it permeates every nook and cranny of the American experience like a virus and empowers the most violent impulses of the state and its loyal subjects. The cult of whiteness is a menace that should be crushed. But how?

How do we the people achieve this final solution without drawing a drop of blood? I'll tell you how, dearest motherfuckers, WE FUCK! We open up the borders and we fuck whoever crosses them. White people fuck brown people, brown people fuck black people, black people fuck yellow people, everybody fucks everybody. We all get laid, we start pumping out beautiful caramel colored babies, those babies grow up and fuck other kinds of beautiful caramel colored people and over time notions like "white" and "colored" become totally irrelevant. The only remaining divisions will be gender and class and once Americans liberate themselves from the equally antiquated concept of the gender binary that leaves only class, the true divider, and the real revolution finally begins.

Speaking strictly from a personal standpoint, this Fuck Reich sounds marvelous to me. Not only am I Irish Catholic, the lowest animal on the white totem pole who Thatcher's Ulster Gestapo use to call white niggers, but I'm also a proud race trading rice and bean queen who can rarely get it up for anyone who's not Asian, Latino or somewhere in betweeno. America looks a little sexier with every passing border jumper and I'd love nothing better than to officially detach myself from the WASPs who starved my ancestors off of the Emerald Isle with a face full of Philippina pussy.

So how bout it, dearest motherfuckers? Let's call those Nazi cunt's on their latest bluff and literally fuck the master race to death. I'm feeling horny just thinking about it.



Peace, Love and Empathy- CH



Soundtrack: Sweet jams to fuck away the white race to.

* World Destruction By Time Zone
* Sexual Healing By Marvin Gaye
* Lips That Bite By Downtown Boys
* Brown Sugar By The Rolling Stones
* Jungle Fever By Stevie Wonder
* Rise By Public Image Ltd
* Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe By Barry White
* China Girl By Iggy Pop
* Can I Kick It? By A Tribe Called Quest
* People Of The Sun By Rage Against The Machine
* One Love/People Get Ready By Bob Marley & The Wailers



This post is dedicated in loving memory to Frank Vincent and Harry Dean Stanton. In a nation short on character, no performer shines brighter than a great character actor. Frank and Harry were two of the best. This cinephile salutes you. Godspeed and goddess bless.


Note to dearest motherfuckers; Weather permitting, I'll be headed for the shores of South Jersey next week to clear my noisy head and I just can't achieve the Zen necessary for total relaxation unless I unplug completely. So there may not be a post here for a couple weeks. I know, I know, how will you survive without my forked tongue jabbed into your eardrums? Aside from hard narcotics, which are fabulous, you can always get your truth fix from my friend Tom's blog. He's no Comrade Hermit but he's actually pretty fucking cool in his own right.




Monday, September 11, 2017

Was 9/11 An Inside Job?

Happy 9/11, dearest motherfuckers! Crack out the white wine and punch a Saudi, it's time for America's spookiest holiday (after Columbus Day, of coarse). 9/11 means a lot of special things to a lot of special people. For rednecks it means adding a fifth Blue Lives Matter flag to your gas guzzler. For the vultures in the mass media it means hijacking your hearts with reams of exploitative snuff footage. For neocons it means a free license to murder all the people and human rights that have been on their shitlists since the Nixon years. For Iraq (and Afghanistan and Syria and Libya and....) it means clinging to survival while paying pounds of flesh for a crime they had nothing to do with. For Israel it means sitting back and jerking off while their Yankee golems in the GOP and DNC destroy the only Arab nations standing between them and the final solution to their Palestinian problem. If you're Saudi Arabia it means you quite literally got away with murder. And if you're reading this post in New York it means you lost some good people and probably aren't in the mood for my flippant gallows humor. But I am who I am.

For me, being the paranoid drag queen that I am, it means that million dollar question; Was 9/11 an inside job? I used to think so, now I'm not so sure. I could go on for miles and miles and miles on the why's that make up my post-Truther agnosticism. But I'll save us all some time and cut to the fucking chase; It's just not necessary. I have zero doubt that gutless sociopaths like Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are more than willing to kill a million innocents to get the wars and Orwellian laws they crave. But why bother with drones and missiles and controlled demolition when all you really have to do is look the other way and let the people you've devoted your adult life to pissing on get in a free shot? Hell, it worked for FDR. Why over-complicate things? After half a century of tormenting the Middle East with coup-de-tats, warlords, bombs and genocidal sanctions, the US has no shortage of homicidal motherfuckers looking to get even. All the neocons really needed were a few people in the right places to ignore all the warning signs and tell the security state to stand down.

Everyone had warned the Bush administration that there old buddy Osama Bin Laden was planning another attack on the Twin Towers and I mean everyone. The CIA, Germany, Israel, even the fucking Taliban gave us a heads up for Christ sake. And nobody did anything. Nothing. They didn't close a single airport or even put one on high alert. The only extra fighter jets in the sky that day were confusing NORAD with war games that seemed to mimic the precise kind of attacks that everyone and their cousin had been warning us about. Maybe I'm nuts but this shit smells a lot like Pearl Harbor to me.

Why muck it up with some ridiculous, over convoluted, Alex Jonesian plot? All the motherfuckers had to do was kick back and let it happen....or maybe the government is just incompetent. Not a very sexy theory but it holds up. Our international police state was already stretched so razor thin that even a dozen veritable warnings could have easily gotten lost in the daily flurry of paperwork it takes to maintain an empire. Stranger things have happened.

So was 9/11 an inside job? I honestly don't know. And neither do you. So stop acting so goddamn smug. Conspiracy theorists and "skeptics" share the same problem as fundamentalists and atheists. You're all so fucking sure you've got it all figured out that you leave no room for the possibility of error that defines the human experience. You believe what you want to believe and filter out everything and anything that conflicts with that narrative. So this 9/11 keep a truly open mind for a change and remember that this creepy fucking holiday that America pretends not to celebrate isn't about you and your favorite narrative or mine. It's about a lot of good people who died, both in those towers and the endless wars that followed them. Regardless of who did what, knew what or didn't, those deaths are still in vain as long as we as a country didn't learn to keep our hands to our fucking selves and stop trying to prevent violence with more goddamn violence.

Get a grip, dearest motherfuckers. Crack out the white wine if it softens the blow of existential uncertainty. But don't punch a Saudi. Odds are he's just another motherfucker too.



Peace, Love and Empathy- CH



Soundtrack: Songs that I was into around 9/11.

* I Can See For Miles By The Who
* Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground By The White Stripes
* Maps By The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
* Beat On The Brat By The Ramones
* Outsmarted By The Hives
* Hard To Explain By The Strokes
* Hash Pipe By Weezer
* Hotel Yorba By The White Stripes
* Jesus, Etc. By Wilco
* (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love, And Understanding By Elvis Costello

Monday, September 4, 2017

Afghanistan As Mental Illness

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Kind of a played out cliche, right? But its true and I should know, I'm fucking nuts. And I'm not talking eccentric, god bless her she's nuts-nuts, but legit nuts. Certifiable. Depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, claustrophobia, gender dysphoria, I got a little bit of everything and have forever but it really blew up in my fucking face after high school when I had my first nervous breakdown. Long story short, I know nuts. I am intimately familiar with nuts (cue Beavis & Butthead) and America's war in Afghanistan is fucking nuts.

Sixteen years, over a trillion dollars, nearly a hundred-thousand dead and what the fuck have we achieved? The Taliban is more powerful than ever. Al-Qaeda has spread to every corner of the known universe and their mutant offspring ISIS are somehow even worse. Afghanistan is a fucking disaster even by American standards. Nobody likes this fucking war. Nobody remembers why we even fucking started it to begin with (Hint; It had something to do with our old friends the Saudis). Even our sadistic man-child president is fucking bored with it. But we're still fucking there. We're still fucking building bridges and blowing them up. We're still arming dope smugglers and child molesters to kill other dope smugglers and child molesters. It's an overflowing bloodbath with a drain clogged with baby teeth and American dog tags. Why the fuck don't we just fucking leave?

I cant help but to think of my own bottomless quagmire, where I spent the better half of my twenties as a bitter shut-in in denial. I spent every day in my house, telling myself, I'll leave tomorrow, No, the next day, No, next week, next month, next year in Jerusalem! But next year never came. There was always some excuse. Some distant goal I was waiting to be achieved for me by unknown forces. Whenever I hear H.R. McMaster or one of Trump's other bullet-headed, desk-chair warriors waxing philosophic about the logic of just one more surge, I can't help but to feel a twinge of deja vu. Just one more year. Just ten thousand more troops. Just a few more wedding party drone strikes. America is no stranger to gross. Gross is what we do. Genocide, nukes, nerve gas, you name it, we've done it. But this war isn't even gross. It was gross ten fucking years ago. Now it's just fucking sad.

Things had to get sad for me before I could leave my house. Real sad. Ian Curtis sad. I had to grieve the loss of the life I lost before I could start a new one. I had to hit rock bottom. Sometimes I wonder when America will hit rock bottom. You would think the Great Recession would have done the trick. Or the election of a reality TV personality to the White House. But no cigar. Every time you think this fucking country has finally hit rock bottom, just when you think shit can't get any worse, it does. So what do you do with a batshit giant that has no rock bottom?

We the people have to become that rock bottom. I had to shake off my complacency and embrace the terror of the outside world to overcome my own madness or at least to get a grip on it. The American people need to do the same because our fearless leaders clearly aren't fucking equipped to face reality. Americans need to leave their own houses and join each other in the chaos of the streets where true democracy thrives. We need to embrace the terror of revolutionary change. That's how we stopped Vietnam. Just scared kids in the fucking streets shouting 'enough!' to the giant. If a motley crew of dope-smokers and flower children can put the scare into this demented old empire then why not us? What have we got to lose at this point but padded shackles and gilded cages?

Trust a basket-case like me when I tell you, dearest motherfuckers, freedom is worth the price of terror. Join me in the streets and shout at the giant. There is no such thing as an agoraphobic democracy.




Peace, Love & Empathy- CH



Soundtrack: Songs that influenced this post (an endless playlist for an endless war)

* Going To Hell By The Brian Jonestown Massacre
* Disarm By The Smashing Pumpkins
* Crazy By Willie Nelson
* Insane In The Brain By Cypress Hill
* Isolation By Joy Division
* Ironic By Alanis Morissette
* Instant Karma By John Lennon
* Young And Insane By The Magnetic Fields
* Lost In My Bedroom By Sky Ferreira
* Grey Cell Green By Ned's Atomic Dustbin
* Paranoid By Black Sabbath
* Schizophrenia By Sonic Youth
* Just By Radiohead
* Can't Stop By Red Hot Chili Peppers
* For What It's Worth By Buffalo Springfield
* At The Bottom Of Everything By Bright Eyes


Tuesday, August 29, 2017

This Is What A Feminist Looks Like?

What is feminism? I hear that question get thrown around a lot. If its online it usually comes with one of two prefab responses. Either it means a philosophy of equal rights for women or its an evil cuckspiracy to deprive hetero white males of they're god given right to date rape, usually constructed by a diabolical coven of communist lesbians. Like most things on the internet, the first one is overly simplistic and the second is childishly over-convoluted. But it is a good question and one I'll return to in a few paragraphs.

An equally good question is what is a feminist? And, for that matter, what isn't? Can a feminist have a cock? Can a feminist be Pro-Life? Can a feminist be a sadomasochist and support the rights of sex workers? Can a feminist reject the very notion of binary gender? And can a feminist despise big government?

My answer to all these questions is, I sure fucking hope so, because I consider myself to be a feminist with all the above provisions.

Though I don't identify as strictly male, I do happen to possess a cock and I don't think I'm going to get rid of it in the near future, though as a genderqueer person the temptation to go full Bobbitt isn't a totally alien concept to me. But you don't have to be a chick to be a feminist. You just have to give a shit about chicks and value them as more than just warm holes waiting to be fucked.

I've always considered myself to be Pro-Life; anti-abortion, anti-death penalty and anti-war. Life is sacred and murder is wrong. With that being said, I don't believe that state intervention in the matter of abortion (or much else) solves a goddamn thing. It just pushes desperate women and girls back to the hangers and only increases the likelihood of everyone involved getting killed which kind of defies the whole point of being Pro-Life in the first place if you ask me. I'm also not particularly fond of the notion of giving the state power over someone else's biology regardless of intent. Some people might even describe my position as Pro-Choice (I don't) but just try to question the sanctimony of partial birth baby scrambling to your garden variety feminist and wait for the claws to come out. Mothers rights matter but so do the rights of the potential women they carry, so I advocate for voluntary non-violent alternatives. Drown me.

On the flip side, I've also always considered myself to be a proud pervert and a devoted member of the BDSM family. I like whips and chains and piss and blood and strap-ons and high heeled boots and a lot of other shit that seems to rile up the Andrea Dworkin set of radical feminists. Vanilla sex just doesn't do it for me, fuck if I know why. You might as well ask me why I like pussy and occasionally wish I had one. It's just the way I'm wired. But what's wrong with that? What's so wrong with pornography and prostitution and giving women the right to use their own goddamn bodies however the fuck they please? What ever happened to 'keep you're laws off my body'? How is the right to rent your pussy out any different than the right to vacuum a pesky little fetus out if it? Aside from the fact that nobody gets killed from engaging in the prior, of coarse.

And last but hardly least, if you're even mildly familiar with this blog, you know I have nothing but disdain for the tired notion of two distinct genders, separate but equal, not to mention the bully state that thrives off of enforcing such divisive and arcane notions. Gender, just like sexuality, is a naturally fluid concept inspired by biology but not defined by it. It's a vast spectrum too broad for two labels or even twenty. That doesn't however mean that femininity, in all its splendid forms, isn't scapegoated, exploited and discriminated against by the very state that the Gloria Steinem's of this world want to save us. What do you think accounts for the fact that the lion share of violence against trans people is directed against transwomen and other femmes? Western Society despises us for embodying the qualities it rejects- familial collectivism, maternal empathy and, above all else, a sense of strength in vulnerability that fosters solidarity with the oppressed. Most of the first whites to join the civil rights movement were women and women were the first breeders to truly embrace the queer liberation movement. You don't have to be an anarchist to be a feminist anymore than you have to have a cunt to be a woman but, in both cases, it doesn't hurt, at least until it bleeds.

So what is feminism? Liberals will tell you it's a ridged partisan science and conservatives will tell you it's a rabid partisan virus. The reality is it's neither. It's a devotion to full spectrum equality by, any means necessary, regardless of race, class, sexuality or genitalia. Along with the acceptance of the bitter fact that we live in a society designed to oppress women of all shapes and forms, be they cis, trans, master, slave, prostitute, john, liberal or even conservative and that this society must be destroyed by OUR hands, OUR hearts and OUR voices. Silence is not an option. Feminism is a righteous racket in a voiceless void. Feminism is a refusal to be ignored.

So is this what a feminist looks like, dearest motherfuckers? You're goddamn right it is and don't you fucking forget it.




Peace, Love and Empathy- CH




Soundtrack: Songs that influenced this post.

* Human Behavior By Bjork
* Rebel Girl By Bikini Kill
* Cherry Bomb By The Runaways
* Your Best American Girl By Mitski
* Suggestion By Fugazi
* Pretend That We're Dead By L7
* Jennifer's Body By Hole
* I Blame Myself By Sky Ferreira
* Rape Me By Nirvana
* These Boots Are Made For Walking By Nancy Sinatra
* Cheerleader By St. Vincent
* By Any Means Necessary By Atari Teenage Riot




Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Fear & Loathing in Charlottesville

Let me start this piece with a brief and sadly necessary news flash- America is a racist country and it always has been. This shit didn't start with Charlottesville and it didn't start with Trump. It started with Christopher Columbus and the ethnic cleansing of Hispaniola and it just got worse from there.

The foundation of this country was built on slavery and genocide (or do I repeat myself). The so called economic miracle of Pax Americana would be impossible without the Great Middle Passage and Manifest Destiny. Our so called Founding Fathers were a pack of white, male, slave-owning aristocrats who only revolted against their limey masters because the latter were attempting to make treaties with bordering Indian tribes in an attempt to diversify their investment in the New World.

As the years turned to decades and the decades turned to centuries, the slave drivers became wardens, the plantations became prisons and the aristocrats became CEO's like our current president. Little has changed but the scenery. Black and brown people are still virtually powerless with the exception of a few token Toms like our last president, who are aloud to dance as long as they let the same old white establishment pick the music and the bastards always pick Thrash.

And then there's Charlottesville, which was only a surprise to the white elite who seem to suffer under the delusion that our history books aren't pure weapons grade propaganda even though they wrote the damn things. As our racist empire begins to descend into the grave its been digging since Columbus with crony capitalism and endless war, the poorer half of our master class are pissed and looking for someone to blame and race-baiting arsonists like Trump and Bannon, as well as their parasitic fan-club in the Alt-Right, are more than willing to fill in the blanks with convenient scapegoats like Muslim refugees and undocumented workers. The sad thing is that these hicks have every right to be pissed. They've been royally fucked by the same crooked system that made assholes like Trump and Bannon rich. They should be crashing their hot-rods into crowds on Wall Street, instead they've been hoodwinked into attacking their own fucking people on main street.

White isn't even a real race. It's a carefully manufactured class hierarchy designed to justify unlimited state power. Many of the swastika waving storm troopers who made up the Unite the Right Rally are the descendants of Italians, Greeks and Irish Catholics, people who weren't even considered white when they first fled to this country as refugees. They had to earn their white privilege by proving themselves just as capable of being as racist and reactionary as the WASP's who spat on them at Ellis Island. As the divide between the rich and the rest of us grows wider and deeper and this country slowly reverts back to the feudal tyranny from which it sprang, the divisions between poor whites and black and brown people become more and more cosmetic. Whiteness is beginning to crack and I for one welcome this schism with the open arms of a life-long class warrior.

The harsh reality that neither side of the Charlottesville fracas seems prepared to grasp is that we're all deplorables, n*ggars and faggots in the eyes of the One Percent. Donald Trump won't save poor white people any more than Obama saved black and brown people. Both of these demagogues serve the same master, a Grand Wizard named Uncle Sam who only feeds his loyal subjects more war and poverty regardless of the color of their skin.

Race in America is a class invention designed to divide the poor against themselves. As long as poor whites and blacks are kept too busy slitting each others throats to realize that there is very little difference between the hood and the trailer park, we will never have the critical mass we need to truly make America great by smashing it to fucking bits.

America is a racist country and it always has been. But it doesn't have to be, dearest motherfuckers, it doesn't have to be. We can break the ties that bind by rejecting the cult of whiteness and joining the oppressed against our shared oppressor. All power to the people.



Peace, Love and Empathy- CH



Soundtrack: Songs That Influenced This Post.

* Cult Of Personality By Living Colour
* Kool Thing By Sonic Youth
* Burning Too By Fugazi
* Walk Like A Panther By Algiers
* White Minority By Black Flag
* The Skin Of My Yellow Country Teeth By Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
* White Riot By The Clash
* The Big Payback By James Brown
* The Underside Of Power By Algiers
* Serve The People By Handsome Furs

Monday, August 14, 2017

Dear Queer Folk: Don't Join the Army

This is an open letter to my community, to all the beautiful, brilliant and brave fags, dykes, trannies and assorted fellow travelers who make up the queer movement, in particular, my brothers and sisters and sothers and bristers in the trans community. But, as always, it's an open discussion with anyone open minded enough to handle my bitching.

For those of you who don't already know, my name is Nick Reid better known by my anarcho-genderfuck nom de guerre, Comrade Hermit. I'm a twenty-nine year old transfluid bull-dyke with a blog and something to say about pretty much everything. This week I feel compelled to address the recent calls by our so called president, Donald Trump, and the Regime-Who-Couldn't-Shoot-Straight to ban trans people from serving in the armed forces. Identifying as both a trans person and a card carrying anti-imperialist, this has inspired some conflicting emotions for this bearded queen which accounts for my somewhat delayed response.

On the one hand, I find the idea that someones genitals, let alone their gender identity, could somehow compromise their ability to murder brown people to be almost laughably absurd. Just take a look at that dandy drag-king, Lindsey Graham. She racks up a higher body count on her Blackberry before brunch than Sylvester Stallone in all four Rambo movies. We're clearly more than capable, especially after all the fucking shit the straight world puts us through. To quote genderfuck anti-villain Jame Gumb- You don't know what pain is.

On the other hand, after reading Trump's barely literate tweets, part of me wanted to say good fucking riddance with a breathy sigh of relief. As noted above, with all the fucking shit this morally derelict empire puts us through, what with all the police beatings, lengthy sentences in solitary and bathroom apartheid, why the fuck would any self respecting tranny be caught dead in one of those gaudy uniforms.

The answer is uglier than camouflage, hell, it is camouflage. It's assimilation, the ugliest word in the English dictionary. Just like the Buffalo Soldiers and Navajo Wind Talkers before them, many trans kids are convinced that they can find acceptance in the straight world if they kill like a breeder. Too many trans kids are also poor, homeless and shit out of options. They're perfect prey for the chicken hawks in the armed forces, who would like nothing better than to reduce my beautiful people into pink sawdust by running them through that pitiless wood-chipper known as the war machine. And now Trump wants to put an end to this Faustian ritual?

I'll say it once again; Good fucking riddance. We can do better than to serve in your straight fucking wars in your straight fucking armies. We can do better than to assimilate into your fucked up world. Our world's better and it needs the kind of selfless service that too many queer people are wasting on the blood soaked misadventures of this dying empire. Trans people get bashed and murdered nearly every single week, often mutilated and cut to bits by psychopathic hetero-fascist closet cases. Twenty-two were killed in 2016 alone. Less than eight months into 2017 and we're already at sixteen and counting. Do the police care? Fuck no. Most of those murders are unsolved and will likely remain so. The only time the pigs give us the time of day is when they're beating and raping us with their truncheons for engaging in the victimless sex work that too many of us are forced into by circumstance or for simply looking the part.

If the Orlando Massacre at Pulse proved anything it's that queer people need to get armed, get organized and get fierce. We need to take a note from Huey P. Newton's book and set up Black Panther style paramilitary militias to protect our communities from fag-bashers, regardless of whether they carry a cross, a swastika, a crescent or a badge. We need to take care of our own or no one else will. We can't afford to waste our manpower (or womanpower) on killing other poor people for bigots like Trump. No Arab ever called me faggot. We need every last fag, dyke, tranny and fellow traveler we can get to keep our safe spaces truly safe.

Forget the fucking army, queerest motherfuckers, our war is right here at home in the heart of darkness called Trump's Amerikkka. Lock and load, queeny bitches, let's burn this motherfucker down!



Peace, Love and Empathy- CH



Soundtrack: Songs that influenced this post.

* The American Ruse By The MC5
* Goodbye Horses By Q Lazzarus
* Children Of The Revolution By T. Rex
* The Cutter By Echo & The Bunnymen
* Buffalo Soldier By Bob Marley
* Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell By The Stooges
* Get Your Gun By Marilyn Manson
* John Wayne Was A Nazi By MDC
* I Like Fucking By Bikini Kill
* Street Fighting Man By The Rolling Stones

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Sometimes The Bad Guys Lose

                                   "Sometimes the bad guys go right on top
                                     Sometimes the good guys lose
                                     We try not to lose our hearts, not to lose our minds"

                                                     -Ohm, Yo La Tengo


Those lyrics have been bouncing around my skull like a .22 hollow point over the last 30-40 days and not just because it's a great fucking song by a great fucking band (seriously, listen to their...everything). Yes, dearest motherfuckers, this last month has been kind of a punch in the tits for yours truly. What else is new? Right. Well, for starters my best friend, the first best friend I've had since my sojourn into the hermetic land of agoraphobia and my only reliable trans friend, up and moved back to fucking England. He'll be fine, a tough, twin-fisted, limey son of a bitch; Jimmy Boy, as only I can get away with calling him, taught me how to be a bull-dyke before coming out as a trans-man. He'll land on his feet back in jolly old England and be smoking fags and picking up slags in no time flat. I'm the one who's a fucking mess without him.

As if that's not enough to push a depressive cunt like me back over that proverbial edge, I've also been forced to watch in horror as Venezuela's Bolivarian Revolution (which, once upon a time gave a sexually confused teenage communist hope for democracy) choke on its last breath. And the worst part is its Nicolas Maduro, the man Hugo Chavez entrusted with the revolution on his death bed, who has his hands around the peoples throat. There hasn't been a worse case counter-revolutionary betrayal since Stalin poisoned Lenin and shipped his widow off to Siberia.

After years of being trolled by American sponsored terrorism and sabotage, Maduro gave in last week, liquidating the constitution that his mentor risked (and quite possibly gave) his life to protect. The only thing that reeks worse than Comrade Maduro's betrayal is the so called opposition who wants to take his place; a crooked cartel of crypto-fascists and Yanqui doodle quislings who would like nothing better than to fill the largest soccer stadiums of Caracas with the staccato symphony of the firing squads. Long story short, the Venezuelan people who inspired me to give democracy a second chance are now caught between a rock and hard-ass with a porno stash and there's little I can do but watch and wait for the other shoe to drop.

This month I've lost both a friend and a revolution. So, yeah, call me self-absorbed, but I'm kinda bummed. The one thing that keeps my fat tranny ass going at times like these (aside from Trader Joe's, Rick & Morty and Benzodiazepines, of coarse) is that old stand by Karma, which is essentially Newton's Second Law applied to social studies. What comes up must come down and for me this summers one silver lining is that two despicable old twats named Jeff Sessions and John McCain are finally coming down like a valley girl on prom night.

After spending the better part of a century punishing poor people for the high-crime of existing, Jeff Sessions' hideous career as a hype man for the Prison Industrial Complex has climaxed in his roll as Donald Trump's new favorite whipping boy. I've never loved that stupid orange bastard more than I do watching him kick old Sess' like a hillbilly with a hound-dog. The only thing funnier is watching all those 'socially conscious' liberals run to the Grand Wizard's defense just because he's the latest target of a shithead he helped get elected. As I write this post, Sessions has yet to be fired but I for one hope he doesn't. I hope he never does. Spending the next three to seven years as a petulant man-child's punching bag is exactly the kind of hell Jeff Sessions so richly deserves. Somebody should buy him a gimp suit.

Then there's John McCain. Our hero. I'm sure I'll get a mountain of shit for this but the only thing that brings a devilish smile to my face faster than watching Sessions piss on himself with his tail between his legs is the fact that god is finally finishing the job Charlie started with a brain tumor the size of a Jersey Shore jawbreaker in that craven war-junkie's skull. And why not? McCain has devoted his entire life to mass murder; From carpet bombing Vietnamese villages to sending his fellow vets to die in vain in quagmire after bloody fucking quagmire. All so he can keep his creepy wife in face-lifts and brand name pharmaceuticals with fat checks from Raytheon and Boeing. This is the bastard who's never seen a war that didn't get him rock hard. This is the bastard who's never seen a hole in the dessert he wouldn't fuck. This is the bastard who takes selfies with head-chopping lunatics in Syria and goosestepping neo-Nazis in Ukraine. And this is the gutless fucking bastard who talks about a Third World War with Putin the way I talk about Selena Gomez's vagina. And I'm supposed to feel bad for this twisted old twat? Fuck That shit.

Call me a cunt, dearest motherfuckers. I'll own the title. But every time I hear some dickless little Eichmann on the Hill blubber about how they don't make 'em like John McCain anymore, I start giggling to myself like a sinister little school-girl and I can't stop. I only wish brain cancer was a sexually transmittable disease so Lindsey Graham could catch it too. God knows, if there's a heaven, those two fucking ghouls aren't going. Thank Christ for cancer.

The point of this torrent of vitriolic spew? Its easy to feel like all the bad things happen to all the best people (Jimmy-Boy, Chavez, Bowie etc.) in this miserable fucking world. But we're all human. We're all born to die and built for the grave and it's the seemingly omnipotent megalomaniacs like Sessions and McCain who learn this lesson the hard way. Sometimes the bad guys lose and sometimes that fact is the one thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. In the end we all get what's coming to us, for better or worse. In the case of Jeff Sessions and John McCain, I'll relish in the latter even if this pettiness earns me the same fate. I'll gladly go to hell as long as I can take those two bastards with me.

Buck up, dearest motherfuckers, the dog days are over for us. For Jeff and John they've just began.



Peace, Love and Karma- CH



Soundtrack: Song's that influenced this post.

* Ohm By Yo La Tengo
* Man By Neko Case
* Don't Dream It's Over By Crowded House
* Head Like A Hole By Nine Inch Nails
* Coming Down By The Dum Dum Girls
* Frankenstein By New York Dolls
* Psycho Killer By Talking Heads
* The Killing Moon By Echo & The Bunnymen
* Is It Really So Strange By The Smiths
* Last Dance By The Raveonettes
* Dog Days Are Over By Florence + The Machine
* Little Eyes By Yo La Tengo