Democracy 2020!: Pick Your Favorite Pussy Grabber

Good morning dearest motherfuckers, it is spring time in this the plague besotted year of our lord Satan, twenty-hundred-and-twenty, and both major party candidates for the highest office of the greatest democracy imperialism can buy are confirmed geriatric sexual predators. There exists no other way to describe the painfully hilarious absurdity of our nation's ascent into the stinky rafters of its own proverbial asshole. Webster, Oxford, Gore Vidal, and a childhood of blaxploitation cinema have failed to develop in me a drag queen's tongue sharp enough to sum up this nation's plight in the heat of the Kali Yuga better than the simple, painful, basic fact that our most cherished plutocratic ritual has been quite literally rendered to a game of Pick-Your-Favorite-Rapist. After centuries of the finest and most flowery propaganda that genocide can afford. After decades upon decades of shining cities on the hill and America, the indispensable nation, the exceptional hammer of global humanitarian benevolence, Trump vs Biden is the punch line to the sickest joke the devil ever wrote.

If Mr. Biden were simply another Clintonian pussy grabber to rival Slick Willy's orange nationalist dauphin, that would be totally within the realm of normal Beltway hypocrisy, but Biden's crimes aren't relegated simply to his sexual perversions. The man has built a lackluster career on chauvinistic patriarchal pandering, race-baiting tough-on-crime macho posturing, and almost sociopathically casual war-mongering. He blew up the Middle East, scape-goated inner city black youth, verbally scolded Anita Hill, and finger fucked anything with a vagina's hair that came within groping distance on live television, all with time to spare to cut fat checks from Raytheon and play squash with Strom Thurmond. To wrap it up like a neat severed limb, Joe Biden is Donald fucking Trump without the bronzer.

And this is the guy? Really? This. Is. The guy? After four years of exhaustive progressive plastic surgery to lift the face of a neoliberal party hapless enough to hand the White House to the dumbest human being on the fucking planet, after four years of Scandinavian posing, virtue signaling, AOC worshipping, pussy-hat wearing, pseudo-socialist "Revolution", our uber-PC saviors in the "Resistance"; a cultish clique of reverse social media trolls who will have you "deplatformed" and properly lynched for the micro-aggressive ableist bigotry of calling your fucking math homework 'stupid', have passed up a completely viable fraud like Bernie to throw their weight behind the Grand Wizard of pussy grabbing? If this wasn't real life, I could swear in sixteen languages that it was a George Carlin sketch.

The Democrats are finished. They are beyond fucked. Fucked is what they were when they blamed Putin for their failure to push Hillary down America's throat a second time. This is a whole different level of shitting the bed. Nancy Pelosi has become the Orson Wells of fecal incontinence and "Joe Biden is Joe Biden" is her Citizen Kane of filth. The only life left in the party is still childishly trying to think of ways to convince Bernie to unbreak their heart as he's relegated himself back to his natural habitat of fluffing Beltway rape-stars in a Che Guevara t-shirt. Feel that Bern and take thirty days of antibiotics. Biden's homies in the black and brown community are so desperate to avoid his gospel choir pandering that they're openly considering voting for the nativist birther who wants to ship them all back to the shithole countries he thinks they came from. Speaking as a contrarian faggot, I get it. At least the Donald will call you a spear-chucking dog-faced lesbian to your face before sexually molesting your children. Then again, Alzheimer's makes Trumps of us all.

This is the rotten fruit of lesser evilism. These are the ends that justify the means. When you cut corners and reduce your so-called democracy to a two-party shell game where any depravity is permissible as long as it's just slightly less depraved than the other guy, this is what you get. A race to the bottom of the toilet bowl where the only salvation is getting flushed. This is what happens to empires as they reach their apex. The illusions they once relied on to keep the populace docile become as scripted and perverse as a Jerry Springer sketch, and the Caligula class becomes exposed for the sick fucking animals that they've always been. Welcome to the Epstein-era of our waning empire. You best keep hording that antibacterial soap, you're gonna need a lot of it.

So that's it, dearest motherfuckers, the American dream is officially a wet nightmare. Nothing left to do but pick up a rifle and head for the courthouse, unless you wanna play Pin the Crown On the Rapist. Personally, I'd rather vote for Justin Amash or even Jesse Ventura, but lets hope it doesn't come to that.



Peace, Love, & Empathy- Nicky/CH



Soundtrack; songs that influenced this post

*  $10 Dollar Bill by Cop Shoot Cop
*  Lump by the Presidents of the United States of America
*  I'm Ready by Royal Trux
*  Orgasm Addict by the Buzzcocks
*  Kool Thing by Sonic Youth
*  Surrender by Cheap Trick
*  Circle the Drain by Soccer Mommy
*  Just Like Henry by Dressy Bessy
*  Good Bad Times by Hinds
* Just by Radiohead