Holy fucking shit balls, Batman! That last one was a bitch and a half to write. I'm sure it was a bitch and a half to read too. So I greatly thank you kindly, the few of you with the patience and fortitude to actually make it all the way through my Anti-NATO Manifesto and that means you and quite possibly only you, Aunt Barb. Any attention I can actually get from this thing is very much appreciated but Jesus tap dancing Christmas this blogging thing is a lot less easy then I thought it would be and for most people it probably is easy but in case you haven't noticed I'm not most fucking people. I'll explain a bit of my writing process and maybe you'll understand.
I have a very peculiar mix of gifts and disabilities that makes this shit kinda time consuming. On the one hand, according to my last psych exam at least, my verbal skills are on the high end of average. On the other hand, according to the same psych exam, my mechanical skills are on the rock bottom end of average. Basically, I'm a poor mans savant, with my right brain on the gas and my left on the breaks. It would be a lot damn easier if I was just plain fucking stupid. As a result of this odd predicament, I have all these things I wanna fucking say but I cant right them down fast enough. I literally can't keep up with myself. So I'll often be writing sentence two before I'm even finished writing sentence one.
An example; Holy fucking shit balls, Batman! That last one sure it was a bitch and a half to read.
Annoyingly confusing, right?! Well try working your ass off to write a goddamn eight page manifesto, only to read a bushel of batshit fucking nonsense. Its goddamn infuriating. So I need total concentration to write and I have to write the first draft because I cant type worth shit. So I'll listen to whole albums on YouTube, through my headphones, while writing on a pad of paper next to the keyboard. Usually, one or two albums will give me enough time to finish but this one took me seven ( Fucking seven!!! )
1. Isn't Anything by My Bloody Valentine - Beautiful, weird and fucking beautiful
2. Atomizer by Big Black - Ugly, weird, scary and absolutely brilliant
3. Gish by The Smashing Pumpkins - A personal favorite
4. Album ( Generic Flipper ) by Flipper - Insane, another personal favorite
5. Nowhere by Ride - Shoegaze at its most majestic
6. On Fire by Galaxie 500 - A new personal favorite
7. Psychocandy by The Jesus And Mary Chain - The best album of the 80's and my favorite of the bunch
This whole process alone usually takes a couple of days. This one took a goddamn week and then I have to fucking type this thing, which, as I said before, I can't do worth shit. I type, hunt and peck style, with two hands and two fucking fingers, one letter at a time and only a few hours a day, because if I type any longer then that my stir fried lizard brain starts to feel like runny cream corn and my wrists ache like a tweeked out, chronic masturbator. This shit usually goes on for fucking days. This time it took another goddamn week and then I proof read until my eyeballs fucking bleed then, finally, I push publish and fucking scream.
Your probably asking, "Why fucking do it then?". The answer is simple, because I love it and I never regret it, once its finished. I wrote this last post because I was sick and tired of the media's totally one sided coverage of the war in Ukraine and I thought at least one American comrade should give the rebels side of the story and if I reach one person, just one single fucking person, even my Aunt Barb and make them think twice, even if I don't convince them in the end then it feels totally worth it and when I see that people in countries I'll probably never see like Romania and Kyrgyzstan ( Yes! Fucking Kyrgyzstan!! ) have seen my page, that's even better. ( Sorry Aunt Barb ) And that's it. Having a voice that reaches past the walls of my rural Pennsylvania house makes all the cramps and headaches totally worth it.
So be patient, Dearest motherfuckers and I'll keep busting my fat ass to make it worth the wait.