Tuesday, May 30, 2017

The Russian Witch Trials

I am sick and fucking tired of this goddamn Russian shit! Please, God, Christ, Buddha, Mohamed, whatever, please, please, please tell me I'm not the only one outside of Donald Trump's rapidly shrinking fan-club who has had enough of this fucking Russophobic conspiracy nonsense. It's been over four months of this fucking shit. Over four months of baseless accusations. Over four months of anonymous tips. Over four months of House and Senate investigations. And what has it proven? What do we have to show for all this fucking hysteria? Zero, nothing, zippo, bupkis, not one single solitary shred of verifiable evidence that there is any nefarious connection what so ever between the administration of one Donald J. Trump and the evil empire of Sith Lord Vladimir Putin (cue howling wolves and blood curdling screams). But we're just getting started here folks. Over the last two weeks this crazy train has switched gears over to witch trial mode.

This madness reached new heights of snow-blind hysteria early this month when the Donald, in all his Donald-ness, finally fired FBI Director and all around general douche-bag James Comey. The reason isn't hard to understand if you pull your head out of your ass. Comey has spent the last several months on a wild goose chase trying desperately to prove that his new boss is guilty of what is quite possibly the only crime he hasn't committed, collusion with Mother Russia. The motherfucker colluded like fucking crazy with Israel (his son-in-law currently maintains a Summer home in Benjamin Netanyahu's asshole) and Saudi Arabia but apparently it's not a crime to play nice with apartheid states and jihad factories. As if this isn't enough to get any common person shit-canned with extreme prejudice, Comey also totally refused to investigate the very real crime of intelligence agents leaking government secrets to their butt-buddies in the mainstream media, likely because he was one of the leakers.

The problem wasn't that Trump finally fired this braying jackass. The problem was how Trump chose to do it. Still suffering under the delusion that being president means acting like Vito Corleone, the Donald invited Comey to a creepy and no doubt heavily rape-vibe (watch out for those tiny pussy-grabbers) candlelight dinner and asked him, softly, slowly, to lay off his boy Michael Flynn, who is undoubtedly guilty as Judas at the Last Supper of cozying up to Russia's age old frenemy Turkey, and only then did he fucking fire the loser, giving his beleaguered Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein no choice but to deliver the Democrats, the deep state and the mass media their wet dream of a Special Counsel to oversee the fed's investigation into baseless Russian skulduggery.

This is Beltway code for witch trial. Once one of these investigations starts it doesn't stop until the appointed Special Counsel blows the whistle. And seeing as the appointed Counsel is none other than former FBI Director and Bush-era deep state vet Robert Mueller, this shit is never gonna fucking end. There are no Russian ties aside from the kind of sleazy business dealings that everyone in Washington and Wall Street has on their rap-sheets but the Grand Counselor can expand the investigation into any direction he damn-well chooses. The Monica Lewinsky boondoggle that I grew up with started out as a Special Counsel investigation into the Clinton's shifty land dealings back in Arkansas. As I said above, Trump may not be guilty of collusion with Russia but he's guilty of pretty much everything else. This thing might start in the Kremlin but it could easily end in a shallow grave in the Meadowlands.

So what's the downside, you may ask? Trump is a race-bating, pussy-grabbing, son of a pig fucking slumlord. Fuck him and the jumbo jet he rode in on. And originally that was my attitude towards this whole witch-hunt too. Let the Democrats keep Trump too busy to blow up the planet while further disenfranchising themselves from their own base by clinging to a hopeless lie. What more could an anarchist ask for, right? But sadly it hasn't shaken down that way. As Trump discovered this April with his Tomahawk party in Syria, the number one way to please the establishment is to bomb poor people. Clinton knew this. That's why he bombed four countries while he was under investigation, often timed to coincide with each new sex scandal. As stupid as Trump is he has clearly gotten this memo as well, as he proved with his saber-rattling Iran bash-fest in the Middle East last week, not to mention the corpses he's stacking up in Yemen and Syria like putrefying border walls that our tax dollars have already payed for.

The other major problem with the Russian witch trials is that it further perpetuates the lie that Vladimir Putin and more broadly Russia itself is the fucking enemy. As I've stated here many times before, the single redeeming quality of Trump's otherwise repulsive campaign was his insistence on detente with Putin's Russia. Sadly, this flew out the fucking window the moment Trump took the bait and bombed Syria for a gas attack they clearly didn't commit. But this wasn't enough for that bourgeois bureaucratic class of capitalist roaders known as the deep state and their dickless flunkies in the mainstream media. These knuckle-dragging cretins will accept nothing short of a new Cold War. The longer their lie of the Russian menace is kept alive the more likely this dying empire is to follow through with a Third World War and believe it or not there are some sick and powerful people in this country who want precisely that. This Counsel is their plaything.

I know I'm a broken fucking record here but I hate Donald Trump. I hate everything he is and everything he stands for and I absolutely despise feeling forced to defend the cunt against even greater evils. But I'm not so demented in my rage that I'm willing to blow up the whole fucking planet just because he's on it. Please, God, Christ, Buddha, Mohamed, whatever, please, please, please tell me I'm not the only one.

Peace, Love and Empathy- CH

Soundtrack; Songs that influenced this post.

* Margin Walker By Fugazi
* Crazy Train By Ozzy Osbourne
* Gimme Gimme Gimme By Black Flag
* Kerosene By Big Black
* Tiny Dancer By Elton John
* Rape Me By Nirvana
* 1969 By The Stooges
* I'm Ready By Royal Trux
* It's The End Of The World As We Know It By REM
* Black Hole Sun By Soundgarden

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Swearing On The Internet

I've been doing this blog thing for about two and a half years and sixty-some posts now and my results have been rather mixed. While I'm proud of the work that I've done and I genuinely believe that I have one of the best goddamn blogs on the internet, I still can't manage to get more than a handful of dearest motherfuckers to give a shit. I don't mean to come across as unappreciative but with my long history of depression there are some weeks where I feel like goddamn Lenin giving mass to my nine confirmed apostles at Finland Station and then there are other weeks where it feels like I'm doing little more than swearing on the internet. This last month has felt mostly like the latter.

While I've put out what I feel is some of my best work, I've watched in despair as my daily page views have gone down faster than Jody Foster at WNBA meet and greet. Even after publishing my first piece for the Libertarian Institute in February I still can't manage to get anyone to so much as return my goddamn emails and my two biggest patrons, through zero fault of their own, also happen to be the two hardest working libertarians in show business (you know who you are). Just add a defunct serotonin level and WA-LA! You have one seriously blue anarchist.

As if this isn't depressing enough to lay my weary head on the railroad tracks and pray for traffic, I also have to contend with an increasingly cantankerous gender identity. Being gender-fluid, I have days where I feel male, days where I feel female and days where I feel somewhere in between. It is the female days that hurt the worst and lately I've been blessed with a shitload of fucking female days. Days where my Tony Soprano physique and my Robin Williams body hair make me feel more like a fucking mess than a genderfuck superstar. It's an ugly, lonely, gnawing feeling of physical and spiritual disconnection that no one without gender dysphoria can ever truly understand. There are days when I desperately want to be the girl with the most cake as my radical faerie godmother Courtney Love might put it. On those days I can only describe my depression as a form of emotional starvation. White people problems, right?

Believe it or not, I didn't write this dreary little piece in search of pity, honestly I didn't. Well, OK, maybe a little. I'm a drama queen, drown me. But mostly I wrote this exercise in emo self-flagellation for the same reason I write anything, whether a thousand people read it or no one does. I write shit like this because writing is who I am. Writing is how I deal with this shit. Writing is my heroin and I couldn't give up my fix even if I wanted to. I also write this because I made a promise to myself when I started this blog as a lowly shut-in. A promise to always tell the truth, the whole truth, the brutal truth and nothing but. It's what I believe separates my blog from many others. Pure unadulterated honesty, no matter how teeth-grindingly uncomfortable it might get. It's naked self-portraits like this one that help me understand who I really am and if I'm lucky, maybe just maybe, they can help you to do the same.

So whoever is out there, whoever you are, thank you for listening. I can't promise you much from this blog beyond total sincerity of spirit. But I can promise you that I'll always keep it fucking interesting. It's the only way I know how to live. Now spread the word, goddammit, Mama want's to be famous!

P.S. I'm sure you've all already heard the tragic news from Manchester. Part of me considered scrapping this self-indulgent piece for something a little more appropriate but I figured a tranny bitch-fest might actually piss off those cockless ISIS fag-bashers even more. After all the best revenge against the hate-fucks of this world is to live life loudly. But if your religious pray for Madchester, that fantastically dirty old town with it's great music, amazing drugs and wonderful, wonderful people. And if your not religious then, I guess, light a candle, listen to some Joy Division and fuck the one your with. Far too many people aren't blessed enough to do any of the above today.

Peace, Love and Empathy- CH

Soundtrack; Songs that influenced this post.

* Hate My Way By Throwing Muses
* Slip Away By Perfume Genius
* Doll Parts By Hole
* I Found A Reason By The Velvet Underground
* There Is A Light That Never Goes Out By The Smiths
* She's Like Heroin To Me By The Gun Club
* I Blame Myself By Sky Ferreira
* Love Will Tare Us Apart By Joy Division

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

The JFO Doctrine

Once upon a time, every successive White House administration had its one big war. Sometimes these wars were traded down from regime to regime and, of coarse, there was always a plethora of bloody little side projects, you know, coup d'tats and the like, but each administration had their defining war to justify their shallow existence, their Korea, their Vietnam, their Persian Gulf.

But lately, over the last couple of decades or so, America has been hoarding wars like a geriatric shut-in who can't seem to adopt enough hissing feral cats. Administrations start wars and nobody ever finishes them. The next administration just adds more wars as if an ever elusive successful conflict will somehow cancel out the shitty ones they refuse to end. But inevitably each new conflict just becomes yet another shitty conflict stuffed inside another shitty conflict stuffed inside another shitty conflict like some kind of imperial turducken baked in white phosphorous.

Washington's mouthy prostitutes in the so-called mainstream media seem to be perplexed by this scenario. These gnashing heads, often veteran war-hoarders themselves, seem to have no clue as to how we got here. Oh, but they're just bursting with bright ideas on how to get out. Bomb this. Bomb that. Arm them. Arm him. No not him! His brother, we hate 'him' now. Everything but the most obvious fucking solution, Comrade's Razor. I can sum it up in six simple words- ....Or we could JUST FUCK OFF. Some folks call this Isolationism. Some folks call it anti-interventionism. I call it the Just Fuck Off Doctrine or the JFO if your busy. It's pretty damn simple. Let me show you how it works with a few current examples.

First up: North Korea! You can't seem to turn on the Clinton News Network or Grope News without hearing the latest about this plucky little problem child. Somehow the Kim Dynasty has developed the strange notion that ditching their nukes might put them at greater risk for another American intervention. Perhaps the past fate of post-WMD regimes like Iraq and Libya may have something to do with this. But our news "experts" don't know anything about that. Their living in the here and now, not the past, dig it? And the here and now is just chock full of exciting executive options. Should we bomb them? Should we hack them? Should we muscle China into doing our dirty work for us? Should we make Seoul pay for the privilege of being our human shield? Hey guys, I got an idea! Maybe we should just fuck off?

North Korea has been willing to work with us since 1994 when former President Jimmy Carter hammered out a peace agreement to avoid a Second Korean War. The agreement was that North Korea would hand over their nukes if we would help them out with their heating bills vis-a-vis cheap gas and a couple of light water reactors, along with a pledge of non-aggression. The only problem is WE didn't hold up our end of the bargain. Then we made things even worse by putting North Korea on our Axis of Evil hit-list. Not to mention staging yearly dress rehearsals for a Third World War right on the DMZ or as we cutely call them, war games (Oh, what fun!). The solution should be pretty fucking simple- Hold up our end of the goddamn bargain, pull our troops off the goddamn peninsula and just fuck off.

Next stop: Syria and Iraq. This dustland cluster-fuck has become so colossal and convoluted that it's beginning to feel like one big bloody parody of the follies of hyper-interventionism. Several foreign armies, both invited and NATO, at least twice as many foreign "investors", dozens of proxies and militias, false flags, double crosses, triple crosses, alliances, back stabbings and more conspiracies than you can shake a fucking stick at. I, quite frankly, give up on trying to make sense of it all if that's even possible anymore. There are just too goddamn many narratives to keep up with but our Washington warlords are still convinced that they can fix this mess with more guns, more bombs, more drones and more war. We could keep this dumpster fire burning or we could make like a Comrade and just fuck off.

We've been bombing the shit out of this fucking region since the nineties and what the fuck has it achieved? We've replaced Saddam with Al-Qaeda and Al-Qaeda with ISIS and now we wanna spread the party to Syria and god knows where else? The best thing we can do for these poor people is to just fucking leave and let their neighbors in Russia and Iran carry the weight. My heart fucking bleeds for the Kurds in particular but only they can earn their independence. Our involvement, even if it were as benevolent as we claim, only serves to water down and delegitimize their revolution.

And last but certainly not least: Afghanistan. That tried and true black hole that sucks in empires and spits out ghosts. Russia, Britain, Russia again, every empire goes to this isolated mountain range to die and die hard. This is America's longest running war and there appears to be no end in site. Likely it will only come with the fall of our own hulking empire and as much as I'd love to see that empire crash and burn for the sake of us all, I don't want to see it fall like that, drowning in an ocean of blood that can only be supplied by the poor of both of our nations. Unlike Korea, Syria and Iraq, our "experts" seem to be shit out of ideas on how to solve Afghanistan. When asked, they tend to stammer about like tongue tied teenagers caught jerking off and usually just end up shrugging their shoulders and saying "What are ya gonna do?". Well I'll tell you ghoulish pricks what you should fucking do. You should pick up your shit and just fuck off.

Those mountains are ungovernable. The people gnarly enough to live there have been living the same way for a millennia and they show no sign that their willing to change any time soon and why should they? It's their damn country. If they wanna shag sheep and smoke opium, let em (somebody should be getting laid and lifted, right?). Leave em be. It's no skin off our ass or at least it shouldn't be. And if the Taliban comes back then the Taliban comes back. I have know love lost for those sexist cunts but they didn't launch 9/11, our good buddies in Saudi Arabia did and the Taliban would have been more than willing to give Osama up if we had showed any interest in respecting their pride with a deal that didn't make them swallow it and belly crawl to Uncle Sam's steel-toed boot.

War doesn't work. It doesn't get any simpler than that. Violence begets more violence. Terror begets more terrorism. No substantial peace has ever been achieved through American intervention. Even our so called Great War only set the stage for the Third Reich and the Second one only set the stage for the Cold War. How many people have to fucking die before this country finally learns to keep its hands to itself and just fuck off. It really is just that simple. So I'll say it one more time. You motherfuckers can keep it up with your bombs and your plunder until we all go broke and die beneath a mushroom cloud or you could do us all a big fucking favor including your own greedy selves and JUST FUCK OFF.

Peace, Love and Empathy- CH

Soundtrack; Songs that influenced this post.

* Hey Joe By Jimmi Hendrix
* The National Anthem By Radiohead
* Lexicon Devil By The Germs
* I'm Afraid Of Americans By David Bowie and Trent Reznor
* Stigmata By Ministry
* Old College Try By The Mountain Goats
* Search And Destroy By The Stooges
* Peace, Love And Understanding By Elvis Costello

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Fuck Political Correctness

Y'all know me or at least you better at this point. I'm a pretty socially progressive motherfucker. Aside from my roll as the Internets foremost (if criminally ignored) genderfuck evangelist, fighting on the front lines for a post-gender society, I have been fairly outspoken in my support for the rights of the socially underfoot, be they racial minorities, undocumented workers, Muslims, polygamists, sex workers, drug users, born again heathens, sadomasochists, little people, shell-shocked veterans, necrophiles, Amerindians, outlaw bikers, the disabled, cholos, the obese (morbidly or otherwise) and every single shade of the queer rainbow. You know, all the fun folks who get fucked for not fitting into the heterosexist Aryan jigsaw puzzle known as the American Dream.

But unlike most so called social justice warriors, if there is one thing I can't stand, one thing that pisses me off nearly as much as bigotry itself, it's that loathsome post-modern illness known as political correctness. Oh, I'm sure it all started with the very best of intentions but its infected the once buoyant civil rights movement with a nasty strain of stage three fascism which is threatening to suffocate us all with its noxious fumes.

We live in a country that's very existence is sadly defined by racism, sexism, slavery and genocide. A so called democracy with a prison population larger than some small countries. Black, brown and queer folks are forced to live there lives with a target on their backs and we're seriously sitting here splitting hairs over trigger words and micro-aggressions? Dearest motherfuckers, we can do better than this.

This word police bullshit has to stop. It's alright to inform people on how you prefer to identify or what pronouns you use but don't jump down peoples fucking throats just because they have trouble catching up. You have to remember that even white, male, cis-breeders are victims of the tyranny of the straight world too. Ignorance should be fought with love and information. It shouldn't be confused with intolerance and even intolerance is deserving of some degree of basic respect. With my bearded butch-ness, odds are that large swathes of the outside world will never see me for who I really am, even members of my own family probably wont. And that's OK. That doesn't make them bad people, close minded perhaps, but as long as they don't crucify me for being a genderqueer dyke with a dick then I won't crucify them for being vanilla milquetoast cissys. After all isn't it punishment enough that they were born boring? That doesn't mean that the very worst bigots should be tolerated though. Not by a long shot. But we must choose our battles wisely.

There's no such thing as a bad word, just a misused one. I come from the Eazy-E school of free speech. If somebody calls me a tranny or a faggot, I don't go running for a 'safe space' or some straight authority figure to hide behind. I fucking own it. I tell the bigots, "You're goddamn right I'm a tranny faggot. I'm the baddest motherfucking tranny faggot you'll ever meet. Swing on me and I'll kick your fucking ass into next week and eat out your fucking girlfriend for breakfast, lunch and dinner!" We need to stop being victims and start getting fucking fierce.

The Black Power and Queer Liberation movements didn't go around asking the state or the campus for their fucking rights. They stood tall, demanded them and took them if need be. Somewhere along the way we got hoodwinked by the very establishment that we were raging against into believing that we needed their protection from freedom of speech and I don't believe that this was a coincidence either. Those fucking bastards have us exactly where they want us, helpless and victimized rather than mighty and empowered. They've taken all the danger out of our movements by reducing us to assimilated whiny cowards that can be easily corralled into the reservations we call safe spaces. I say no more. Enough with this fucking bullshit. The only thing that political correctness has achieved is strengthening coercive institutions and making it easier for the bigots inside them to hide behind the beige wall of good manners and proper decorum. We need to take back our movements, return to the streets loud and proud and make our communities so ferociously radical in our convictions that any ground we stand on will become a safe space, Safe from everything but revolution that is.

Fuck political correctness, dearest motherfuckers, fuck it to death. And that comes to you straight from the bottom of my bleeding tranny faggot heart.

Peace, Love and Empathy- CH

Soundtrack; Songs that influenced this post.

* Express Yourself By N.W.A.
* Big Beautiful Day By PWR BTTM
* Attitude By The Misfits
* Rock And Roll N*gger By Patti Smith
* Last Caress By The Misfits
* Hip Hop By Dead Prez
* My Way By Sid Vicious