Sunday, February 16, 2020

Hillary, Donald & Bernie: Three Who Would Make a Catastrophe

America is a country that both loves and hates its conspiracy theories. On the one hand, our popular culture is lousy with them, from cinema to the president's goddamn Twitter account. On the other hand, we host an academic elite which not only views such cultural trends with disdain, but seems to see our history, their history, the "official story", as some kind of irrefutable biblical fact. Few people make the connection between these parallel trends, the likelihood that the overly presumptuous and at times downright jingoistic orthodoxy of our ivory tower elites is precisely what drives pedestrian America to search for alternatives to their "truth". That old adage, consider the source. The reality is that history in and of itself is not black and white science. At its most accurate it is a collection of narratives, different perspectives from the ground floor that could easily be described as conspiracy theories. What appears to be a conspiracy theory from Arlington or Manhattan, looks a lot more like bad memories from Hiroshima or Tuskegee. Any true revisionist historian must become a collector of conspiracy theories, viewing all available narratives with a healthy grain of salt.

Few modern historical phenomena have created a greater volume of conspiracy theories than the 2016 Presidential Election, a downright cataclysmic event that the entire nation is still reeling from, even as we approach the next election in 2020. 2016 didn't just shake the unwashed proletariat, it shook our intellectual bourgeoisie to its very core. As the 2020 Primaries grind away, they, more than any others seem to be grasping blindly for answers. How can an insider's insider with such impeccable credentials like Hillary Clinton fall so devastatingly short to an irate babbling imbecile from the tabloid gutter of the 1%? They still haven't figured it out and they know it, and they know that victory will elude them until they do. So what did happen in 2016? Lets take a second look at the crime scene through the lens of three conspiracy theories. The first two, my own, and the last one, the product of our sacred elites, all admittedly equally presumptuous.

Hillary Clinton, regardless of how you feel about her vapid moral integrity, is a stone cold player, a sort of post-feminist supervillain. She accepted at a young age that if she was going to achieve the level of power she sought, she was going to have to game the system. So she married a dope-smoking hayseed with a fraction of her intellect and micromanaged his political career to put herself in the White House. Even as First Lady, Hillary clearly ran the show. She played Dick Cheney to Bill's Dubya, pushing an agenda of international hegemony while silencing the women her silver-tongued hubby groped.

But Hillary was not content to remain behind the curtain. She thirsted to become Oz in both title and reality. So she parlayed this twisted open marriage into a career in the Senate and then a go at the Oval Office. But Hillary had a problem, a major one that many elites share. She was almost pathologically unelectable. She was a master ventriloquist, but without a dummy to play, the public could smell her rank sociopathy from a mile away. In 2008, she suffered a humiliating defeat to a first term senator, a sweet talking minority, no less. If she was going to achieve her goal of becoming the First War Criminal with interior genitalia she would have to get crafty. She would need two ventriloquist dummies this time, not just one. She would need two conspiracies. The kind of soft power manipulations she mastered meddling in other countries affairs.

The first was Bernie Sanders, who already made a career of pulling off the impressive feat of playing two seemingly diametrically apposed rolls at once, the wild eyed socialist idealist that got him elected in bucolic Vermont, and the consummate party loyalist that kept him elected in Washington. He was perfect. From day one of the primary campaign, Bernie sent all the right signals high and clear that he was running to lose. He spoke at great length of reinvigorating the Democratic Party and a revolution that didn't weigh victory with his nomination. He handed the first debates to Hillary on a silken pillow with his declaration that "We are sick of hearing about your damn emails!" as she laughed mincingly, while "we" most certainly were not sick of learning the goddamn truth. In a single off-the-cuff comment, Bernie rendered Hillary's most recent act of Beltway corruption a moot point. Meanwhile, he gathered the disaffected wayward leftists who had already chosen a lesser evil over Hillary once and groomed them to view the party of neoliberal austerity as somehow revolutionary, while refusing to take so much as a swipe at his opponent. But one conspiracy wasn't enough, not this time around. Hillary needed one more dummy to guarantee she wouldn't suffer a repeat of 2008.

Donald Trump had been idly threatening to run for president for nearly two decades. It had become a cornerstone of his whole sideshow, along with a dizzy cocktail of corporate welfare and reality TV. But he had never seen it fit to actually waste his time and energy on an actual campaign. Not until 2016. Whatever could have changed the Donald's mind? His little game of presidential footsy had garnered him all the rewards of a real presidential run, but none of the headaches. Something drove this bit player to take a leading roll in 2016. Is it really so far fetched to consider the possibility that some savvy media tycoon like Haim Saban in the orbit of Trump's old friends the Clintons could have convinced him that this time actually taking the plunge could earn him even richer rewards?

Bafflingly, Trump launched his strange campaign by diving head first into an issue that was far more of a sour point for Democrats than it was for the GOP in 2015. Before Donald descended those golden escalators to infamy, no one with any heft on the right was even talking about tightening immigration laws. Quite the contrary, after two dismal presidential campaigns in a row, the GOP was openly playing with the notion of doing the unthinkable and reaching out to minorities, Buckley be damned. The Democrats were the ones busy trying to reverse the damage done to the long neglected but increasingly pivotal Latino vote by Obama's record shattering deportation regime, handing out tokens like DACA like fun-size candy bars on Halloween.

Then the Donald took to the airwaves, proclaiming immigrants to be killers and rapists, and calling for the construction of a flaming border moat complete with landmines and crocodiles. He seemed like a gift from hell to the Hillary Campaign and for a while he was. Clinton's devoted allies on CNN and MSNBC gave Trump's race-baiting horror show 24/7 coverage, while "serious" GOP contenders were treated like disposable tarts on the Bachelor. It was so perfect, how could it possibly go wrong? The leftist youth vote that had long eluded Hillary was being corralled and pacified by Bernie the grateful loser, while Donald Trump alienated Latinos by turning the GOP into an episode of Jerry Springer. It was the perfect soft power play. But like all of Hillary's experiments with regime change, from Libya to Ukraine, this one too would blow up in her fucking face with the force of a thousand Benghazi's. It turns out that the only bitch bigger than Hillary is blowback.

In spite of all his limp-wristed bromides to party unity, Bernie's revolution grew revolutionary. It turns out that the left didn't just distrust Hillary, they despised her, and in an election that was packaged to them as a forgone conclusion by the same pricks who helped Hillary sell them on the Iraq War, even a charismatic cripple like Bernie was ripe to warp into a cult of personality. Bernie was about as dangerous as unscented Lubriderm, but he came to symbolize something obscenely radical. He came to symbolize upheaval. And so Hillary found herself married to the task of sabotaging her own puppet's primaries, while the upheaval on the right that her backers fostered with round the clock coverage became equally unruly. What had started as a sort of blue collar shock comedy tour with the Donald stocking the stage like a dayglow Andrew Dice Clay, taking swipes at every sacred cow from cripples to POW's, had tapped into something primal. In spite of all the blatant race baiting, at its core, the Trump jihad was essentially an elder cousin of the Bernie revolution. People had become so disgusted by the daily corruption of the status quo that they were willing to vote for a human Molotov cocktail just to burn that fucker down. This shit was out of control. Hillary needed one more conspiracy to tame it.

What she came up with is the only theory here to become a part of the official American intellectual canon, in spite of the fact that it's far more convoluted than the theories I propagated above. I speak, of coarse, of Russiagate. A gigantic Byzantine-esque plot to deny Hillary her rightful place in power with a twelve-dimensional campaign of trolls, proxies, pop-ups, honeypots, hacks and other sundry ballyhoo, all orchestrated directly by the evil Vladimir Putin like a cat-stroking Bond villain. It all seemed like idle nonsense from a woman adept in the artform until the unthinkable happened, a racist reality television circus clown won the fucking White House. That's when the Russiagate hoax grew fangs. It was given unblinking verification by Hillary's allies in the media and the intelligence community without offering so much as a crumb of verifiable proof. And just like that, a conspiracy theory becomes history and this entire piece becomes "fake news" for questioning its logic.

So it's 2020, dearest motherfuckers, and what have we learned? Well I don't know about you but the Democrats haven't appeared to learn a goddamn thing. With Hillary's 2016 contemporaries, Trump and Bernie, launching campaigns that they actually intend to win for once, the DNC is still lost in the Russophobic spy thriller that they seem to have legitimately forgotten they forged, all while once again pimping another pathologically unelectable Washington dinosaur that everyone clearly hates as the hero of their story. These imbeciles appear to have every intention of repeating their 2016 tricks to put Biden or, god forbid, Bloomberg in the nomination, which will only accomplish another seemingly impossible catastrophe that they'll no doubt blame on god knows who. Putin? Assad? Tulsi? Santa? Anyone but the only people who can possibly make Trump a two term president, themselves.

I may very well be a conspiracy nut, dearest motherfuckers. Guilty as charged. But I pale in comparison to my own fucking government and at least I can admit I don't have all the answers. The truth really is out there. In more ways than one. Keep digging and you might just find it.



Peace, Love & Empathy- Nicky/CH



Soundtrack: songs that influenced this post

*  Just by Radiohead
*  Radio Free Europe by REM
*  Freak On a Leash by Korn
*  Toyota Man by Neon Indian
*  Margin Walker by Fugazi
*  Walking Backwards by Throwing Muses
*  Rangerover by Porches
*  Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger
*  Suspect Device by Stiff Little Fingers
*  Monkeywrench by Foo Fighters

Sunday, February 9, 2020

A Vote for Mayor Pete is a Vote for Assimilation

Once again, dearest motherfuckers, I feel obligated to reprise my roll as 'that bitch.' Do I really have to be the queer bummer who smashes the Buttigieg delusion? Are all the other faggot anarchists busy? Oh well, fuck it. Hand me my hammer and I'll do what I do best, which seems to be pissing off other queer people by interrupting their increasingly statist pride parades with the stone cold inconvenience of reality. I'm really sorry darlings, but its time for some tough love. This hurts me more than it hurts you but hopefully it hurts Mayor Pete the most. Because a vote for Mayor Pete may be a vote for the first gay president, but it's also a vote for assimilation. So, here we go.

I can pretty much sum up every Mayor Pete rally in a single synopsis. The queer wonder-boy takes to the stage looking like a barely pubescent Millhouse duded up for prom. He rolls up his sleeves and drifts into a listless barrage of centrist unity bromides and wishy-washy hopelandic vagaries that sound like twice nuked leftovers from Obama's 2008 campaign. Just as his predominantly white, elderly, straight and middle class audience begins to drift mercifully into slumber, Pete wakes them with the only two cards he has left in his deck; "Oh, did I mention I killed brown people in Afghanistan and I take it up the ass..." A wave of oohs and awes brings the geriatric breeders back to life like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. A round of applause breaks out and Mayor Pete appears to be relieved. "A gay who kills Muslims? How novel!" "He speaks so well for one of them!"

Around the country, queer kids are getting emails and Facebook pokes from their grandparents, congratulating us collectively for producing a viable presidential candidate. We must be so proud. Maybe you are but I'm not. I wouldn't even want a legit queer occupying that glorified porta shitter called the Oval Office, much less one who appears to have been raised by neoliberal wolves. Pete Buttigieg may be gay but he is not one of us. Pete is more vanilla than most heterosexuals. He's the kind of queer you bring home to mom instead of your black-bear boyfriend to make your rejection of her suburban values more palatable. He's the kind of queer who tops just so he doesn't ruin the good linens. He's the kind of queer who nags his boyfriend into a church marriage and a couple of adopted Guatemalans just so he has something to brag about to his soccer-mom bitch sister in the annual Christmas letter. He's the kind of queer who has one trans friend just so he can tell his Lincoln Republican friends that he has one trans friend. He's the kind of queer who really isn't that queer at all. He prefers LGBTQ. He's the new queer; domesticated, neat, house broken, a novel wonder of modern western civilization. "But he's a sign of progressive inclusion, so what are you bitching about?"

I'm bitching because he's also the kind of queer who has spent the better half of his young career stumping for Wall Street, the war machine and the police state. You see, dearest motherfuckers, inclusion is a dirty word in the ears of queers like me because it means watching my tribe being appropriated into the very system our identity was built on standing against. Being queer isn't about genitalia and pronouns and it sure as fuck ain't about marriage, military duty and hate crime laws. It's about being biologically designed to appose the oppressive puritanical status quo. We were "everybody else" once. Every tribe had venerated spaces for sexual and gender outlaws once upon a time. But then the normies found Jesus and kicked us to the closet. We held tight to our heathen ways in the shadows. We survived a plague that brought us to the brink of extinction while wealthy breeders sat safe and pretty in their fucking wine caves. Now they've decided that we make hip tokens for their globalist agenda and they want us back at the cool table in Washington as long as we don't bum them out with our body count. I say fuck you. And fuck traders like Mayor Pete for selling our cultural cache to the highest bidder. The only word uglier than inclusion is assimilation because assimilation means genocide.

I don't want to be like everybody else. I don't want the state's hollow constellation prize of equality. I don't want to be LGBTQ. I want to be queer. Being queer means creating our own genders beyond the fascist jurisdiction of the census. Being queer means building our own families, a mommy dom drag king with 2 1/2 littles and a pet gimp out back. Being queer means abolishing the prison system which continues to thrive on our suffering. And, perhaps most importantly, being queer means standing strong in solidarity as a stateless Third World nation unto ourselves with our brothers, sisters and others fighting the very empire that tried to erase us before asking us back for brunch. Shiites and Palestinians may not be our biggest fans but in the states eyes, they're faggots too, so we owe it to ourselves to make their fight our fight.

I'm that kind of queer, dearest motherfuckers. The kind that would sooner die than be caught voting for an assimilationist Uncle Twink like Pete fucking Buttigieg. Stone me for my sins but let the record get them straight. The road to queer liberation is pathed by anarchy, not the state.



Peace, Love & Empathy- Nicky/CH



Soundtrack; songs that influenced this post

*  Oh You Pretty Things by David Bowie
*  Grace Kelly by Mika
*  Androgynous by the Replacements
*  Polyaneurism by Of Montreal
*  Trash by New York Dolls
*  Killer Queen by Queen
*  Hood by Perfume Genius
*  Cop Car by Mitski
*  Bags by Clairo
*  Free to Decide by the Cranberries


Sunday, February 2, 2020

99 Reasons to Impeach (But Ukrainegate Ain't One)

Urgh! Ma, do I have to write about impeachment again? Cant I just take the trash down to the curb instead? Yeah, that's right, dearest motherfuckers, its another goddamn impeachment piece, because apparently the thing about purgatory is that it's never fucking over. Just when you think you're about get paroled to the sweet hereafter, John Bolton writes a fucking book and you get another century added to your sentence. By the time it's through, you're begging for hell, anything to cut the fucking boredom. Hell is supposed to come this Wednesday but if the anticlimax of the Muller Report didn't end this circus, something nauseating tells me the Senate's partisan acquittal won't either. I usually enjoy writing. It gives me some sense of control over the downright hellish purgatory of day to day life in the prolapsed colon of a herniated empire. Its hard work but it's usually pretty rewarding. This impeachment shit, though, its like fucking math homework. It doesn't matter how necessary it is, it still feels fucking pointless.

Impeachment in general, like most of America's over-cherished pseudo-democratic rituals, is bullshit. Any political decision not made directly through popular referendum is little more than a bureaucratic reach around at best, not to mention, a waste of any true radicals precious time. But this endless fucking farce seems even worse than the usual who-porked-who in the Oval Office charade, at least to me. Ukrainegate essentially amounts to one scumbag withholding weapons of mass destruction from a neo-Nazi rump state until they release some dirt on another fucking scumbag. Who fucking cares?! Its not like I have any secret affection for Donald Trump. In fact, if the process were a touch more democratic and a bit less partisan, I'd love nothing better than to see his philandering ginger ass tossed to the fucking curb. But lets impeach the motherfucker for something right, not Adam Schiff's latest Russophobic Tom Clancy knock-off. I can probably think of at least 99 reasons to impeach Trump. Ukrainegate just ain't one.

How about Iran, where Trump unilaterally violated a UN sanctioned peace deal and then proceeded to punish the nation for our aggression? Impeach Trump for the totally illegal and immoral extrajudicial assassination of the region's most accomplished anti-terrorist, Qassem Soleimani, on a civilian tarmac without the consent of anybody. Or how about his blatant refusal to respect Iraq's sovereignty by obnoxiously defying their parliaments insistence that we leave, holding a whole nation hostage and using it like a human shield in a Mexican stand-off with an Islamic Republic that has gone out of its way to appease generations of our nation's downright irrational behavior?

Impeach Trump for America's ongoing campaign of economic terrorism which we refer to as sanctions, starving children and denying cancer patients access to life-saving treatment, not just in Iran, but Russia, Venezuela, Sudan, Eritrea, Belarus, Burma, The Ivory Coast, Cuba, The Congo, Zimbabwe, The Balkans, and perhaps most heinously in North Korea, our president's favorite peace summit photo-op, where millions have starved and will continue to starve while the Donald strings them along with heartfelt love letters. Impeach Trump for threatening to return Iraq to this same grade of enforced poverty unless they defy the will of their own people. Contributing to the delinquency of a minor democracy sounds like it should be impeachable to me.

As should be the seemingly ceaseless extra-judicial drone strikes that murder grossly disproportionate amounts of women and children in Iraq, Syria, Yemen, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Somalia and Christ knows where else, which Trump has moved to make increasingly untraceable. Impeach Trump for illegally occupying Syria, serving up the Kurds to Erdogan like a fucking pudding and blatantly occupying and cutting off the nation's oil supply to further undermine and destabilize the rightful regime of Bashar al-Assad. Impeach Trump for running Navy Seal/black-ops death squads in 149 countries and counting, putting America first by slaughtering civilians and training fellow terrorists to do the same across the globe, from Colombia to Indonesia, and everywhere in between.

Impeach Trump for bombing Damascus without congressional approval, based on totally bogus chemical weapons attacks. Impeach Trump for continuing our endless occupation of Afghanistan, even after papers leaked from our own government have surfaced proving any mission there to be totally futile. Impeach Trump for openly undermining democracy in Venezuela, Nicaragua and Bolivia, successfully in the later, replacing one of the planet's last descent world leaders with a despotic, stark-raving, racist conquistador that would give the Donald a run for his money. Impeach Trump for propping up some of the worlds rankest dictators with guns and treasure, from Mohammed bin Bonesaw in Saudi Arabia to those Banderist scumfucks in Kiev that Adam Schiff can't seem to give enough deadly playthings to. And for the love of Christ, Mohammed, Gaia and Kali, impeach that remorseless motherfucker for having little Nora al-Awlaki, an 8 year old American citizen, shot in the fucking throat with a couple dozen of her family members on week one in the fucking White House. I was done with this beast before you #Resistance cocksuckers had even begun.

In short, impeach Donald J. Trump for repeatedly violating his promise to put America first like a 14 year old Epstein sex slave. Impeach this cunt for being an imperialist imposter. Dig up the corpse of Charles Lindbergh and bury the entire Trump Administration beneath the casket in his grave. Impeach him for colluding with Israel and Saudi Arabia and Lockheed Martin and basically everybody but Russia. Or just impeach this motherless prick for the war crimes he's committed right here on the border. For concentration camps, renditioned ranches, shattered families and murdered childhoods. For using the racist trope of 'Evil Islam' to ban refugees from predominantly Shia countries, while arming their bloodthirsty Salafi neighbors to the fucking teeth and inviting them to use our bases as shooting galleries.

But you won't see this, dearest motherfuckers. You won't hear a single Democrat call to impeach Trump for any of the legitimate crimes against humanity that we all know he's committed. And if you do you will see them rapidly silenced like Dennis Kucinich, Cynthia McKinney and Tulsi Gabbard. You'll see them ran through the mud and proclaimed Putinists, Alt-Rightists and conspiracy theorists by all the supposedly liberal media which has turned these impeachments into a sick national pastime. They won't impeach Trump for his true crimes because Trump's crimes are America's crimes. They didn't start with Orange-Man-Bad and they won't end their either. The Democrats won't impeach Trump for these crimes because they have every intention to keep committing them once he's gone. They built the camps and walls and wars, and they want them back in the hands of a more reliable psychopath.

Impeachment is a sick fucking joke, dearest motherfuckers. And I am sick upon death of covering it. I'll take down the trash and finish my long division tomorrow. I gotta lie down.



Peace, Love & Empathy- Nicky/CH



Soundtrack; songs that influenced this post

*  99 Problems by Jay-Z
*  My Bodies Made of Crushed Little Stars by Mitski
*  Hip Hop by Dead Prez
*  Rockstar by Hole
*  Paper Planes by MIA
*  Head On by the Pixies
*  Who We Be by DMX
*  Rockin' in the Free World by Neil Young
*  Cop Car by Mitski
*  Unsatisfied by the Replacements

Sunday, January 26, 2020

The Many Faces of Bernie Derangement Syndrome

It's getting pretty damn near impossible, even for a vengeful anarcho-cynic like myself, to deny that the system clearly despises Bernie Sanders. Both the DNC and their moronic B-team in the so called mainstream media seem to be downright apoplectic over the fact that the grizzled old buzzard is leading the presidential pack in all the ways that count. Not that you'd ever know it by watching the news. Based on the coverage, you would think Bernie was trailing behind the Yang Gang in the polls. Even at the debates, they avoid his perpetually pontificating old ass like the drunk chick at a wedding party, while they softball grounder after grounder to poll-fucked centrist losers like Amy Klobuchar.

CNN's January surprise, a totally toothless collection of anonymous accusations about a single hypothetical sexist comment made years ago to progressive rival and pathological opportunist, Elizabeth Warren, is just further proof of this prejudice. The sheer absurdity of the idea that Bernie just randomly went all Archie Bunker all over Warren's ass and everyone, including her, just happens to remember the event just in time for the last debates before the Iowa Caucus, is downright dumbfounding. The only thing more bugfuck nuts in my mind is the fact that any suite-and-tie wearing member of the status quo actually considers this asshole a threat. He's a fucking poseur and he's their best hope for taking back the White House. Clintonism has officially become a mental illness. Call it Bernie Derangement Syndrome and call those TERF's at the DSM.

In case you missed it, I've never liked Bernie Sanders. It's not the pie in the sky welfare spending or the tiresome FDR (founding father of the modern American concentration camp) worship. I could begrudgingly live with all that. But it's the simple fact that the motherfucker, a self-proclaimed Eugene Debs loving leftist, just isn't antiwar. It's the one issue I vote on as an anti-imperialist syndicalist vehemently apposed to any mockery of "democracy" that doesn't begin and end on the factory floor. Oh sure, Bernie says all the right shit and voted No on a couple bloodbaths, but when push comes to shove, he'll vote for any atrocity sanctioned by the Democratic Party, whether it's starving half a million children to death in Iraq under Clinton or sending half of Africa to hell through the black hole of that rapist's wife's Libyan no-fly-zone. And this is largely what defines Bernie's absolute lack of character. In spite of his populist pleasing Independent pedigree, like all social democrats, Bernie is a creature of the party. The party, the party, the party, all else falls beneath the godlike benevolence of the party, including the peasants, fuck, especially the peasants. If the party wants a war, the party gets a war. If the party deems it necessary, they'll feed the war-shy proletariat to the Freikorps dogs like puppy-chow, and Bernie will loosen the leashes.

This is what makes the powers-at-be's Bernie Derangement Syndrome so goddamn vexing to me. This is the limp-wristed prick who stood silent with that goofy Chucky Cheese grin and his hands in his pockets while Hillary the Barbarian pegged his young supporters out of one rigged primary after another. The bitch cheated on him worse than Bill at a Weight Watchers convention, and he still fucking endorsed her. What is so damn scary about a devoted pussy who has never once taken a serious stand against his ungrateful party? Are the so-called centrists really so greedy for the crown that they'd rather lose with Biden than win with Bernie? Or is their something bigger to this electoral mental illness?

I think the only quasi-logical answer to this question lies among the riving young throngs of America's other electoral class inflicted with BDS, my longtime frenemies, the Sandernistas. Young, intelligent, yet almost stupidly loyal, these kids follow Bernie like battered Pitbulls trailing Michael Vick. No matter how many times that old bastard sets them up to get fucked in the rape-cage, they follow, limping and bleeding, they follow. But unlike their duplicitous master, these kids are the real fucking deal. Much like the unsung better half of Trump's deplorables, this set is sick to death of the very wars their sensei condones and commits. And unlike Miyagi, Daniel-son likes to kick ass.

 This was proven to be fantastically true when a few diehard Sandernistas actually managed to crash congress. AOC may have learned to play good dog to that million dollar plastic surgery disaster, Nancy Pelosi, but the Muslim half of the Squad has proven to be an epic migraine headache for warmongers on both sides of the aisle. And what's even scarier than the veiled scourge of little Ilhan the Great, is Bernie's former DNC rep, Tulsi Gabbard, who has actually launched a legitimately revolutionary campaign, I believe in a semi-successful Kamikaze mission designed to push Bernie into a more consistent antiwar direction. This madness simply can't stand. The children of the revolution are out of control. So their dickless leader has to go, by hook or by crook.

The saddest thing about the many faces of Bernie Derangement Syndrome is that it exposes the very flaws that keep a legitimately dangerous movement from achieving the kind of revolution they so clearly crave. Much like their parents in the new America First movement, these kids wanna burn Babylon to the ground for its sins, but they're just too goddamned shackled by the learned helplessness of statist hegemony to realize that they don't need a deflateable cult of personality to achieve this. Like much of America in these all-or-nothing days, it takes me back to that ultimate allegory for post-imperial nihilism, Breaking Bad. I just want to slap these sweet babies and tell them, You are the danger, children! It is you, not your surrogate Walter White's who are the ones who knock. Stop being little Pinkmans and burn this meth lab of an empire to the ground with Heisenberg in it. Sometimes I feel like a genderfuck Mike Ehrmantraut. No more half measures, dearest motherfuckers. We need a real revolution, not another empty handed charade.



Peace, Love & Empathy- Nicky/CH



Soundtrack; songs that influenced this post

*  Aneurysm by Nirvana
*  Baby Blue by Badfinger
*  Children of the Revolution by T. Rex
*  Dancing Choose by TV On the Radio
*  Circle the Drain by Soccer Mommy
*  Cult of Personality by Living Colour
*  Start Chopping by Dinosaur Jr.
*  Passing Out by Strand of Oaks
*  Your Dog by Soccer Mommy
*  The Passenger by Iggy Pop

Sunday, January 19, 2020

It's Time to Bring the War Home Again

As the dust settles on Donald Trump's latest high octane game of chicken with the Islamic Republic, an eerie calm seems to have risen like fog from Soleimani's grave to take its place. But while the whole world exhales, war nerds like myself struggle like David Carradine to find the loop to loosen the belt around our throats. That's because deep down in our wonky ill-nourished guts we know that this shit is far from over.

Unlike Trump's usual foreign policy impulses, that seem to be governed more by techno-Tourette's syndrome and penile insecurity than anything resembling a sane strategy, there is a very sick method to the madness when it comes to his dance with Iran, and that's because the clumsy footed fuck is dutifully following the same choreography as George W. Bush. The choreography of slow consistent escalation that can only end in the most devastating war the world has seen since the fall of Germany's Third Reich and the rise of Uncle Sam's Fourth. Trump may be a pathologically unbalanced wild card on every issue from abortion to bathroom etiquette, but he still takes his marching orders from the same Zionist piggy bank as the neocons he won 2016 mocking.

Every step Trump has taken since entering the topographic maze of Pennsylvania Avenue has been tailor made to provoke Iran into the genre of open warfare they have masterfully avoided since their Reagan era bloodbath with Trump's Middle Eastern counterpart Saddam Hussein. The violation of the Nuclear Deal. The escalation of the Shia genocide in Yemen. The recognition of colonial Jerusalem. The build up of troops to fight our own former proxies in neighboring Iraq. The Gulf of Tonkin games in the Strait of Hormuz. And now the calculated cold blooded murder of Iran's greatest strategist, the man who designed the Islamic Republic's cagey Fourth Generation foreign policy which has made a fantastic fool of the nation's most fearsome foes.

According to Iraq's embattled PM, Qassem Soleimani died on his way to peace talks with his Saudi adversaries that Trump himself encouraged. He was shot down in the most chickenshit cowardly ambush our government has thrown since J. Edna plied John Dillinger to the Biograph Theater with a whore in red. There is no going back from this one, kiddies. The dye is cast. The only question left worth asking now is what do we, the few proud anti-imperialists living in the belly of the beast, do about it? How do we prevent World War 3?

We certainly have the numbers on our side. Every poll from here to Sunday makes it abundantly clear that Americans are not willing to follow our fearless leader into the killing fields of Persia, not after the Iraq fiasco. So this should be easy, right? Wrong. Liberal democracy has been carefully constructed to be the most effective form of authoritarianism in the history of mankind. That's because it's a prison built out of mirages of myth and illusion, rather than the cold rebar enforced stucco of vulgar totalitarianism. Their is quite simply no need for bars once you've convinced a populace that safety and security only exists within the cozy confines of their cells.

One has to look no further than Trump himself, a man so vile to the very establishment he belongs to that a third Red Scare was needed just to keep him and his followers in line on the dogma of the New Cold War. But he's jumped through every hoop like a purebred Clintonian on Iran for the cold hard cash of men like Sheldon Adelson, men like the shadowy nameless creatures who have made the social democratic Donald, Bernie Sanders, the largest recipient of defense industry donations in 2020, even as the system hedges its bets by tossing tacks onto his campaign trail. The sad reality is that voting don't mean jack-shit when the banks own the ballots. To quote Neil Young "....We're finally on our own."

So what do we do then, dearest motherfuckers? To be dangerously frank, whatever the fuck it takes. That's how we pulled our troops from Indochina in the early Seventies. Sure, cunts like Ken Burns will have you believing it was the work of thoughtful politicians and banjo-strumming pacifists, but every successful social upheaval in history has been the beneficiary of a diversity of tactics. America didn't suddenly come to its senses on Vietnam, it was terrified that not leaving those jungles would mean losing control of the mothership.

Kids were clogging the Capitol streets with Vietcong flags and repurposed football helmets while whole platoons were turning their guns against the officer class and refusing to die for them or their stupid fucking war. Sure, the American public was gradually won over by the Quixotic non-violent street theatre of the Yippies, Woodstock and the McGovern campaign. But, as disturbing as it might sound, that public support had to be weaponized by the incendiary propaganda of the Weather Underground, Stonewall and the Days of Rage, creating a culture of near apocalyptic upheaval permeating every corner of the zeitgeist. Even then, it wasn't enough to end the slaughter. It simply forced Custer to take to the sky and blitz millions of yellow people charcoal black before starving them with near genocidal sanctions.

Judging by the statistics of the war machine's own optics on the results of a hypothetical American ground invasion of Iran, I'm willing to bet that this will be the likely strategy of today's blood thirsty mandarins. A devastating air war on Iranian infrastructure coupled with the kind of crippling sanctions we're already seeing. The results will be genocidal. Iran won't exactly be conquered, it will simply be reduced to a garish and malleable slush of shattered dreams and mutilated viscera.

It's these kind of moral revelations, along with the fact that the Helter Skelter of the Summer of Hate broke far too many good eggs, that convinces me that the anti-imperialist movement in this country needs to do more than just tear a page from the SDS playbook, we need to write a whole new chapter. We need to take a page from the book of Soleimani and develop our own form of Fifth Generation Warfare. We need to use the theatre of the New Left without the careless body count. We need to bring the war home, but only the parts of it worth fighting. The civilian militias of Muqtada and Hezbollah. The popular occupations of enemy embassies by the rowdy youths of Bagdad. The regional drop-out autonomy of Rojava. I'm not saying things wont get ugly. We must prepare ourselves for that eventuality. But we don't need to be the ones who make it ugly.

I guess it goes without saying that I've always been a bit more Malcolm X than Martin Luther King, but lets face it, dearest motherfuckers, the war on Iran has already begun. We need to bring that war home to end it, but we need to fight it right. It's the only way we'll deserve to win.



Peace, Love & Empathy- Nicky/CH



This post is devoted, in loving memory, to Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. Two slain brothers who fought the same beast with two very different strategies, both were equally necessary to effect change. I struggle to carry on their fight for peace and justice with every word I type. Respect.



Soundtrack; songs that influenced this post

*  Only Shallow by My Bloody Valentine
*  Bombtrack by Rage Against the Machine
*  It Might Be Time by Tame Impala
*  Paint It Black by the Rolling Stones
*  Kick Out the Jams by the MC5
*  Ohio by Neil Young
*  Have to Explode by the Mountain Goats
*  Its Coming Its Here by Swans
*  Gimme Shelter by the Rolling Stones
*  Black Metallic by Catherine Wheel

Sunday, January 12, 2020

Trannies with Guns: Because Enough is Enough!

I need to buy a gun. I can't state it any simpler than that. It's something I've needed for sometime and I seem to feel like I need it a little more each day. The gun doesn't have to be fancy or high tech. I don't need some AR hunting rifle in drag or one of those phallic three digit magnum monstrosities. I need something basic and reliable. Maybe a .38 or .45 wheel gun. Something just powerful enough to put an irate cis-male down in two shots or less. I've always wanted a gun but I never felt like I really needed one until recently, about four years ago to be exact, right around the time I came out as a trans person. Now, as my fluctuating gender continues to veer further and further towards the feminine end of the spectrum, I've come to understand the stone-cold necessity for the Second Amendment more clearly than I ever have before. So I'll say it once more with feeling, dearest motherfuckers, to really drive the point home, I need a fucking gun.

Those are the thoughts that swing through my dizzy skull every time I hear another horror story about some trans or gender-bending individual being slaughtered for the high crime of living outside the closet. I've been having these thoughts a lot lately, 22 times in the last year to be exact. That's how many trans murders occurred in 2019 that we know of and that doesn't even include the girls killed in police custody. I wish I could say that this is an anomaly, but it's not. According to the American Medical Association, it's a goddamn epidemic. At least 157 of my people have been slaughtered since 2013, right around the time the Christian White, I mean Right, switched gears from the now dated practice of fag-bashing to that new national pastime of tranny-stomping, and I say 'at least' before that staggering headcount because most transgender murder victims still go unreported or misgendered. The police can't seem to help themselves, even in death they spit on us.

And this is why gun control is a steaming sack of elitist bullshit. When you tell people to give up their guns, you're really telling them to trust the cops. This might work smashingly for billionaires like Michael Bloomberg and the bougie brats in March For Our Lives, but for marginalized people like myself, it's a fucking slap in the face. As I mentioned above, pigs kill trannies. Just ask Layleen Polanco, who was found dead in her cell at Rikers this year. Or Johana Medina, who was only released from one of ICE's fine concentration camps just in time to die in the ER from untreated medical problems.

 Trans people are nearly four times as likely to experience police violence as cis people. We're regularly targeted for harassment just for presenting in public, because so many of our sisters have had to seek refuge from economic persecution in the form of victimless sex work. So yes, suburban liberals, I need a fucking gun. I'm what your bodyguards in the police are overpaid to prevent. Our liberty threatens your property value, so we are disposable people. But one gun is not enough, and enough is exactly what I've had my fill of over the last five years. Enough dead sisters. We all need to get armed and we need to get fucking organized.

This was the conclusion Huey Newton and Bobby Seale came to in 1966, when they formed the first chapter of the Black Panther Party for Self-Defense. A couple of inner-city Oakland round-the-block boys who met at Merrit Community College, Huey and Bobby bonded over a shared passion for the Black Power Movement, particularly bombastic thinkers like Robert F. Williams (author of Negroes with Guns) and organizations like the Deacons of Defense, who took up arms to defend their rural communities from the scourge of the Klan. Much like today, shooting black kids in the back without repercussion was like a goddamn competitive sport for the Oakland PD in the Sixties. Huey and Bobby decided that their communities needed to be defended from the police by well armed and well trained civilian militias. And thus America's most dangerous civil rights enterprise was born. I can't help but to see parallels with my own community's existential struggle for survival.

What genderqueer people like me need is our own Black Panther Party, Trannies with Guns, because enough is enough. I'm sick and tired of having to ask myself, 'Am I going to get raped by the police tonight?' every time I leave the house after dark in lipstick. And I'm sick, physically sick, of seeing my sisters get cut to fucking pieces just for using their own goddamn bodies to make a living. Huey once said that the point of the Black Panthers was to appeal to "the brothers on the block." Well, we need some motherfucking Purple Panthers to appeal to our sisters on the stroll. We need to set up our own civilian militias to defend sex workers from both the cops and the twisted johns who prey on them without repercussion. We need to create autonomous safe spaces from the barrel of the gun, so our kids don't have to look over their shoulder every time they use a public restroom not approved by the state that seeks to erase them.

We need to take care of our own, dearest motherfuckers, from the state and the streets, because if we don't, who will? I'm done with being scared. So I need a fucking gun, and ten thousand armed sisters and brothers to have my back. As Huey said, All power to all the people. My people too. Lock and load, bitches, we got work to do.


Peace, Love & Empathy- Nicky/CH



Soundtrack; songs that influenced this post

*  The Harder They Come by Jimmy Cliff
*  Volcano Girls by Veruca Salt
*  The Drowners by Suede
*  Bang a Gong (Get It On) by T. Rex
*  Search & Destroy by the Stooges
*  911 is a Joke by Public Enemy
*  Say It Loud, I'm Black & I'm Proud by James Brown
*  Hate My Way by Throwing Muses
*  Me & A Gun by Tori Amos
*  Pretty On the Inside by Hole
*  Power to the People by John Lennon

Sunday, January 5, 2020

Sympathy For Soleimani

A preemptive strike, that's what white people call terrorism, and that's apparently what transpired this Thursday on the tarmac of the Baghdad International Airport. A preemptive drone strike, ordered by our president, murdered General Qassem Soleimani, Iran's most important military figure, alongside six others including the commander of Iraq's Popular Mobilization Unit, a legally recognized part of Iraq's military. This was not an attack on a military operation. These men were meeting to attend a funeral for victims of another American terrorist attack earlier in the week. This was an act of extreme cowardice. This was a war crime. But most importantly, this was indeed a calculated act of war against two sovereign nations, a week in the making.

The previous Friday, rockets struck an American base in Iraq, killing a single American mercenary. This is a crime that remains unsolved, but the Trump Administration wasted zero time blaming it on Iran via their alleged proxies in the PMU. No evidence given, no evidence required. An American soldier of fortune died in Shia country, which is the greenlight Trump has been looking for to shithouse Iran since Sheldon Adelson payed him to do so in 2016. I suspect that Sheldon's friends back in occupied Jerusalem may be the ones truly responsible for this convenient attack, but that's just a hunch from a stalwart anti-Zionist with too much time on her hands. Take it with a grain of salt.

This attack set into motion a procession of tit for tat escalations that ended with the assassination of a man so revered by his people that a response is all but a forgone conclusion whether Iran wants it or not. Their hands are tied. Meanwhile, thousands of American troops prepare to re-flood the scarred battleground of America's greatest imperial blunder, as the shitheads of American cable news take turns telling facetious horror stories about the extra-judicially murdered Soleimani. If you were dense enough to take these morons at their libel, you would be forced to come to the conclusion that the general was some kind of blood drinking Sith lord. But who was he really, to us and his people?

Qassem Soleimani was the brains behind Iran's fearsome Quds Force, a sort of Shia Seal Team 6, devoted to protecting the faithful across Iran's tight sphere of influence. Much like fellow western boogeyman Vladimir Putin, Qassem was no angel but he was far from the satanic super-villain our media elites and their deep state chums have painted him to be. And just like Putin, Qassem's greatest crime was overreacting to legitimate western threats. As most professional soldiers are want to do, he often went too far, but his primary contribution to the region was containing the vilest strains Wahhabism, and the sheikhs, Zionists and Yankee officers who coddled them. This is why the man is seen as a hero, not just in Iran, but to people across the region who have spent decades at the mercy of American facilitated proxies. Soleimani beat the bastards at their own game, creating his own coalition of fucked-over proxies that have become known by enemies and allies alike as the Axis of Resistance.

I won't lie to you, dearest motherfuckers. I'm not an unbiased journalist. In fact, I view the title itself as a contrived notion. I have long been sympathetic towards the goals of the Axis of Resistance, not because I have a strong affection for any of its members, other than perhaps those anti-Zionist militiamen in the decidedly stateless Hezbollah, but for basic tribal reasons. My sympathies are personal. I have a dog in this fight. To put it bluntly, ISIS, Al-Nusra and the rest of those Salafi cunts kill fags, my people. While Hillary and Obama facetiously draped themselves in the rainbow flag, they kept the Saudi pipeline flowing to those equally facetious flag-drapers in the Islamic State as they flung people like me from the rooftops. Now, Iran is hardly a friend to my people either, but compared to their Wahhabist rivals, they might as well be. Many people remain oblivious to the fact that, while homosexuality remains very much illegal in the Islamic Republic, that very same republic has long been the safest place for transwomen in the Islamic world, offering people like me surgery and recognition based on a Persian culture that has always maintained spaces for third genders. I would likely be stoned for being a lezbo upon receiving treatment, but it's still a lovely gesture compared to my fate in their neighbor's dusty kangaroo courts.

More importantly, this loose collaboration of Middle Eastern minorities has managed to cobble together the most successful bulwark to western imperialism that region has seen since Nasser and the halcyon days of Arab Socialism. So I find myself in the awkward position of throwing my wig in with these Shiites, Baathists and communists. I reserve hope that they can still be influenced by the example of wiser men than Soleimani, like Abdullah Ocalan and Muqtada al-Sadr, but regardless, I support the dark angry men flooding the streets of Baghdad  and Tehran, raging against the white man's terrorism, for the simple reason that there needs to be a proletarian response to the imperial bourgeoise violence of pre-emptive strikes. Opponents of imperialism across the political spectrum need to display their solidarity with this movement even if they don't agree with all of its members or values, because, just like the Vietcong and the Sandinistas before them, the idea of the Axis of Resistance remains it's most powerful attribute, and that idea is poor people unite and shatter this goddamn empire.

So here's to General Soleimani. He may very well burn in hell, but this one furious faggot who hopes he at least gets a cell with a view, one floor up from the Shah.



Peace, Love & Empathy- Nicky/CH



Soundtrack; songs that influenced this post

*  Sympathy for the Devil by the Rolling Stones
*  Oh Sweet Nuthin' by the Velvet Underground
*  Oliver's Army by Elvis Costello
*  Where Eagles Dare by the Misfits
*  Sat By A Tree by Dan Deacon
*  North American Scum by LCD Soundsystem