Thursday, August 18, 2016

Turn and Face the Strange

I don't usually do this, mostly because I don't usually give a fuck, but this week I feel it necessary to warn the few dearest motherfuckers who haunt this blog that some of the things that I am about to say are a bit shocking even for me. Like I said, I usually don't give a fuck, but seeing as I have family who read this site, I thought I owed them a fair warning. Don't worry, I'm not a serial killer or a Trump supporter or anything heinous like that. I just thought you deserved a warning because shit is about to get unprecedentedly weird. Anyway, you've been warned, so no bellyaching in the Christmas letters.

OK, with that being said, lets rip the fucking band-aid off this bitch....

Sometimes....     I wish I had a vagina. There, I fucking said it and I'm not talking about other peoples pussy, because I'm always down with that (Yeah!youknowme!) I'm talking me, myself and I, minus a pole and plus a hole. The professionals call this phenomena gender dysphoria but I prefer to call it pussy envy, a kind of aching, overarching feeling of disconnection with my own genitalia. But, and with me there's always a but, I'm not trans. OK now your more confused than I am. Maybe I should start over.

In a past post, one of my personal favorite posts, I came out as a queer heterosexual. While not a lie this wasn't quite the whole truth either. But I needed to be openly queer before I could be 100% honest about my gender identity, not just with the few people in my life but with myself as well. I know this is such a fucking queer cliche but I really did need to feel safe. You see, dearest motherfuckers, your old frenemy Comrade Hermit is genderqueer, gender fluid to be exact which basically means that my gender identity exists and shifts and changes somewhere between the male/female binary. Not quite male. Not quite female.

It took me years to figure this out. I spent a good portion of my life assuming I was male, the gender assigned to me at birth, but I never felt quite normal. I spent most of my teens and twenties going through intermittent identity crises, wondering to myself if I could be transgender and then ultimately coming to the same conclusion over and over again. That in spite of these alien feelings, I definitely wasn't a woman so I must just be some kind of weird, mixed-up male. That is until I discovered that there was more than two options. When I first read about the phenomena of gender fluidity I knew that that must be where I fit in. The only problem was I didn't quite fit in.

The description fit the way I feel like a glove but as I searched the net, I couldn't find anyone quite like me. All the other gender fluid people that I came across were flamboyantly androgynous, bold and beautiful people that expressed elements of both traditional genders and everything in between. I found there fierce, visual androgyny refreshing but it wasn't quite me. While a part of me is very much female, I've never felt a great need to express my femininity in any of the traditional ways. I like to dress simple and casual and I love my beard. I just think it might go better with a cunt than a cock. It's little wonder I've long felt a deep kinship with bearded ladies, trans-men and bull dykes. I always felt more like a manly bitch than a girly man and this left me feeling out of place even within my own new found community. It made me feel guilty, like I was some kind of traitor or phony or something.

But why the fuck should I? Why should any of us feel guilty for who we really are just because we don't fit into some kind of fucking stereotype. Isn't that the whole point of being queer, not having to follow these stupid fucking rules? But somehow that's what a broad cross section of the LGBTQ community has become, a nasty, cliquish sect of stuck-up, assimilationist snobs protecting their newfound privilege as a politically correct minority by enforcing there own slightly tweaked version of the same damn set of stupid fucking rules. Telling bisexuals to pick a hole to fuck. Telling genderqueer people to pick a gender to conform to. And telling us all to fucking tone it down so we can earn favor with the straight world that we use to reject. Well let me go on the fucking record by saying fuck that shit! this isn't what those fierce queens at Stonewall bloodied there fists for. Queer liberation doesn't come with a government stamp of approval and it doesn't play by anyone's fucking rules, not even it's own. I didn't wait 28 goddamn years to come out of the closet just so I could step into a new one draped in rainbows.

I made a promise to myself this year after we lost one of my heroes, David Bowie, that I would take his advice to courageously turn and face the strange no matter where that strange takes me.

So I'll say it again, loud and clear, bold and queer, I Comrade Hermit, sloppy, bearded, commie anarchist, sometimes wish I had a vagina. And I'm not a queer heterosexual. I'm a genderqueer bull dyke and don't you fucking forget it. Don't get me wrong I'm not about to go full castrato. Bottom surgery costs out the ass and hurts like a fucking bitch. Not mention that most girls who dig beards also dig dick. But if we're talking about magic genie scenarios here, my second wish is probably going to be a cooch, right between world peace and a three-way scissor fight with Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman. What? just because I want a cunt doesn't mean I'm still not half guy. Drown me.

Turn and face the strange, dearest motherfuckers, turn and face the strange.

Peace, Love, Empathy and Anarchy- CH

Thursday, August 4, 2016

The Dog Days of Trump

I've never really bought into the whole "liberal media" conspiracy theory. It's always struck me as a shrewd marketing campaign to wrangle terrified geriatrics for Rupert Murdoch's ratings and ex-Dallas cheerleaders for Roger Aile's bottle blonde harem of unwilling victims. That's not to say I buy into the equally ludicrous theory of the hardworking, hardscrabble, unbiased media. No, that farce only exists in star-studded, Hollywood, Oscar shoe-ins and in the colossal egos of Robert Redford wanna-be's like Chris Mathews and Charlie Rose. The real media bias has always had more to do with big business than partisan bullshit. Even in the most heated presidential races over the past half-century, the big networks may have had there favorites but they always seemed to give more than enough neutral air time to both major party blowhards. That is until the dog days of 2016, the dog days of Trump.

The hysteria started to really take off at the beginning of the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia, when those fantastic folks at Wikileaks released a treasure trove of damning information that proved what most of us have already strongly suspected. The documents, which Wikileaks received from an anonymous source with the fabulous nom de guerre Guccifer (has to be queer), revealed the full extent of the Democratic National Committee's collaboration with Madame Killary's campaign to nip Bernie in the bud. The leak was particularly damning to DNC head and Sandernista hate-throb, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who's comments included suggestions to use lingering American bigotry against Bernie's alleged atheism against him. Schultz complicity was made all the more garish when her morally derelict behavior was rewarded with a cushy position in Killary's campaign the moment she was fired from the DNC.

All of this mess should have damned Killary's Philly coronation to PR clusterfuck status. But the news was barely a day old when the queen of mean took a bad song and made it better. Without anything even resembling verifiable proof, Killary announced that the leak was the work of Putin's Russia, in a dastardly conspiracy to deny her her god given right to the throne. As if this load wasn't vile enough, the former First Lady then suggested that Trump's whole damn campaign was part of this convoluted Kremlin plot. Even when compared to some of Trump's zaniest racist conspiracy theories, this has to be, by-far the looniest fucking campaign accusation since JFK was accused of being the Popes personal odalisque. But the fine, hardworking folk who populate the bullpens of the network newsphere gobbled this load whole and spit it back out verbatim, word for word, like a propaganda snowball, as if it had come from the cock of god himself. No questions asked and not even a pinch of skepticism. And just like that (SNAP!), a totally legit Killary scandal became a completely facetious Trump/Putin scandal.

This probably shouldn't come as much of a surprise, considering that these same people have had it in for Russia since it became clear, well over a decade ago, that Putin wasn't about to bend over and take it like Yeltsin. Since then, America and it's business partners in the Filth Estate have launched an all-out assault against the Kremlin that has included everything from overthrowing the democratically elected governments of it's neighbors to accusing them of launching fabricated, full-scale invasions of those neighbors when Putin refused to take the bait and retaliate. This campaign of chaos and deception has been described by many as the New Cold War. Which would be accurate if the old one had ever actually ended.

The Cold War began in 1917 when the Bolsheviks overthrew the western client state of the Czar. The US and it's allies retaliated by supplementing the remaining Czarist's White Terror with a force of over thirty-thousand American, French and English troops, fresh from the trenches of World War 1. This succeeded in achieving nothing but transforming a popular socialist experiment into a blood drenched, permanent warfare state, paving the way for the rise of Stalin. The Cold War entered it's second stage when Truman dropped two nukes on a defeated, white-flag waving Japan in order to send a message to Stalin, who was still basking in the unexpected triumph of his victory over Hitler, that we were in charge now. What followed was more than forty years of terrorism, sabotage and proxy wars which only ended when the USSR finally ran out of gas (an inevitability since Stalin shelved Lenin's New Economic Program) and fell apart in 1991. The third and stealthiest stage of the Cold War was waged largely from within the new Russian Federation by our drunken tool, Boris Yeltsin who attempted to subjugate his own nation with an American designed campaign of economic warfare known as shock capitalism, all topped off with the rapacious post-Soviet expanse of NATO to the motherlands doorsteps.

The fourth and current phase of America's longest war has been the war on Putin and, with the rise of Killary towards her lifelong destination on Pennsylvania Avenue, it has been pushed farther than it's been since the halcyon days of the Red Scare and the Cuban Missile Crisis and the sickest part about this is that the New McCarthyites are the same Baby-Boomers who routinely cream themselves over Edward R. Murrow's grave. Black is white. Up is down. Yesterdays flower children are today's Birchers and there first high profile victim is none other than Donald Trump.

Trump may not be a fucking pacifist or even a half-descent human being but much like Kennedy in the twilight of Camelot, he's one overprivileged imperialist who sees the common sense in detente and this alone makes him dangerous to the system. That is why, more than any other major party candidate in my lifetime, the media has declared Trump persona non grata and launched a relentless, one sided multi-media campaign to destroy a clown they created, now that his pranks aren't funny anymore.

I didn't have an easy time deciding to write this post (what else is new, right?) I despise Trump and everything he fucking stands for. I despise his racism. I despise his dishonesty. I despise his greed, sexism, Islamaphobia and total lack of respect for basic constitutional rights and human dignity. But those aren't the reasons the mainstream media has decided to declare total war on Trump, though I'm sure that's what they tell themselves in the mirror everyday. They've unleashed the fucking hounds because of the one thing this bastard got right, the basic fact that Putin and Russia are not America's enemies. If I didn't speak out now, just because I share a target with these assholes, then what kind of fucking journalist would I be. They may be going after the Trumpsters today but who knows who it could be tomorrow, the Libertarians? Black Lives Matter? Genderqueer agoraphobic anarcho-Marxist bloggers?

And to all the self-proclaimed liberal progressives reading this latest rant in horror, I ask of you just one thing, WWERND? What would Edward R. Murrow do?

Peace, Love and Empathy- CH