Thursday, September 29, 2016

Joe Knew And So Do You!

In a dimly lit room at an undisclosed location, aging soldiers of a shamed and once fearsome army gather in the tacky regalia of their misspent youth and drink to the memory of their long lost fearless leader, a man disgraced by history who's grainy black and white image flickers like an electronic ghost on a nearby wall, ten feet tall. No, these aren't the Boys From Brazil mooning over their dearly departed Hitler. These are wealthy Penn State alumni celebrating the 50th anniversary of their alma mater's appointment of my communities local demigod, Joe Paterno, best known by the sane world outside of this counties confines as the worst rape-appeaser west of Vatican City. But this isn't the sane world folks. This is Happy fucking Valley. The place I call home. And these people aren't Nazi's, their my neighbors.

I wish I could tell you that these kind of sickening displays of affection for the morally derelict are an anomaly here. The campus trustees would surely have you believe this, thus the clandestine nature of the above mentioned creepy little shindig. But it's not. It's been at least forty years since Joe knew and it's been over five since the rest of the Nittany Nation has too and they remain as complacent and undisturbed as their revolting hero. Their are over fifty children who's lives were mercilessly eviscerated by Jerry Sandusky and his willing accomplice Joe Paterno and those are just the ones that we know of. The real victim count is likely much much higher. But the Nittany Nation couldn't fucking care less. Who cares about ass-rape and strangled childhoods when there's football games to be lost to teams with half the funding and a third of the resources as the multi-billion dollar student-debt factory known as Penn State. This is the twisted fucking mindset of your average Nittany Lion who lives in a state of perpetual denial and outright indifference.

According to your average Nittany Lion, JoPa is innocent. In fact JoPa is the real victim here and all the mountains of court documents, eye witness accounts and quote unquote evidence are all just part of a vast conspiracy to destroy dear poor old JoPa and abuse the carefully constructed illusions of his sick little fan-club. The sane world has deemed these pretentious little twats Penn State Truthers and they have made their presence known world wide on the world wide web, trolling every message board from here to Timbuktu  that dares to mention their dear leader's name without licking his crusty nut-sac and often threatening his critics with acts of sexual violence that would get Sandusky hard. Anybody who has had the supreme misfortune of spending more than thirty seconds online with one of these human toilet-bowls has a new appreciation for the revolting level of depraved ignorance that human beings have become capable of in the twilight of our own self-imposed extinction. Try living with these motherfuckers and you'll also have a new appreciation for my festering issues with agoraphobia.

In my savage minds-eye, old Joe became as guilty as Jerry the moment he found out about his grotesque extra-curricular activities and decided to cover them up for sake of his career rather than doing the right thing and calling the fucking cops like any sane person with half a soul to squeeze. And the whole damn Nittany Nation became just as guilty as Joe the moment they decided to ignore and silence the truth about their soiled hero rather than growing the fuck up and excepting the harsh reality that his carefully crafted cult of personality was a fucking lie. You are all complicit! Joe knew and so do you!

Yes, dearest motherfuckers, I live in a community full of collective sex offenders. And people wonder why I'm afraid to leave my fucking house.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

The Rojava Screw-Job

I've never made much of a secret out of my affection for the Kurdish Independence Movement, particularly of the PKK/YPG variety. I've earned something of a reputation on my usual message boards for being their whitest cheerleader. Part of it's political, self-determination and all that shit. But its also become something very personal. Partly because of what I like to call the Irish thing. Coming from a lineage of proud and often doomed struggle against imperial oppression and subjugation has made me into something of a serial fellow traveler with third world independence movements from Gaza to Grozny. But mostly it has to do with the fact that the PKK and their Syrian cousins in the YPG have followed an ideological trajectory that is nearly identical to my own. Over the last couple decades, we have both evolved from garden variety, New Leftish, revolutionary socialism to a kind of post-Marxist anarcho-syndicalism without ever losing our cheeky zeal for radical chic. The Syrian YPG have even managed to construct a successful stateless society that reflects these shared ideals.

From the toxic dust of the American Empires latest Middle Eastern jihad, the YPG have erected the autonomous democratic confederation of Rojava in Syria's north eastern Kurdish region. What began as a basic defense mechanism against the growing genocidal scourge of ISIS has blossomed into a secular, poly-ethnic and self sustainable example of bottom-up, Athenian-style, direct democracy. A true leaderless, borderless society. Proof positive that social anarchism can still work. No gods. No masters. And all of this achieved while leading the regions most successful counter-insurgency against Wahhabist tyranny. For the longest time, support for Rojava was the one thing that most of the major players in the Syrian cluster-fuck could agree on. Over the last couple weeks, however, things have changed. And the rare, hard won good fortune of the Kurds has shifted towards a strange new darkness.

It all seems to have started shortly after the failed July coup attempt in Turkey. A month later nearly to the day, a firefight erupted between the YPG and their supposed allies in a pro-Assad militia in the city of Hasakah which led to the first Syrian Air Force strike against Kurdish forces in the five year history of the war. A week later Turkey invaded Rojava under the guise of fighting their friends in ISIS who turned tail and ran the moment they saw the tanks, without firing more than a handful of bullets. The real target was obviously the YPG and their alleged allies, east and west, didn't seem to give a shit. The US even supplied the Turks with logistical support and just days ago, as I type this, Russia, America and Turkey agreed to a week-long ceasefire to be topped off with unprecedented joint US-Russian operations against ISIS and Al-Nusra. So what the fuck happened? What changed? How did the US, Russia and Turkey all get on the same page? And why did the Kurds get screwed in the process? In order to answer these questions we have to ask ourselves, what do these three countries in this weird new alliance want?

What Turkey wants is pretty simple. It's what they've always wanted. A return to the glory days of the Ottoman Empire. The two biggest obstacles to this goal are the Kurds and the Assad regime. That's why it's little wonder that Turkey and their new Sultan Erdogan have consistently been ISIS and Al-Nusra's best friends in the region. Sending them guns, gas and maniacs and buying their pilfered oil in bulk. All this had put Turkey at odds with Russia and naturally Syria. This all seemed to change shortly after the failed coup against Erdogan which leads us to Russia.

What Russia wants is to avoid the creation of another bottomless vortex of never ending terrorism within shooting distance of their borders. The only way they can achieve this relative peace is to keep the Assad regime in place and destroy the foreign jihadis sent by Uncle Sam and his Gulf buddies to turn the Levant into a smoking ash heap. Russia has been pretty successful at doing this so far with their loose coalition of Syria, Iran, Iraq, Hezbollah and the Kurds. But as long as Turkey remains committed to the overthrow of Assad there will always be a permanent flow of armed Wahhabists spilling over the border to unleash holy fucking hell. Russia was left with only two options, beat em or join em. And since Putin doesn't share America's lust for endless war, they were left with no choice but to find a way to rope Turkey into their orbit. This is where the failed Turkish coup comes into play.

The attempt to overthrow Sultan Erdogan lasted less than 24 hours and was basically squashed before it had even begun. What followed was Erdogan's self-proclaimed "gift from god". A massive purge of tens of thousands of the Sultan's biggest critics in the government, military and judiciary. As well as the evisceration of the last feeble vestiges of Turkey's so-called democracy. What also followed was a very public break-up between Erdogan's Turkey and their alleged NATO allies in Obama's Washington and a previously unthinkable reconciliation with Putin's Moscow. What appears to have happened is that Russian intelligence caught wind of an American backed plot against Erdogan, hardly unusual, historically speaking, and tipped the strongman off in advance in order to pull Washington's favorite Sultan into the Kremlin's tent. What likely transpired next was a Faustian bargain of sorts. Erdogan would thank Putin for the heads up by laying off Assad and Putin would return the favor by keeping his hands in his pockets while Erdogan rips Rojava to fucking ribbons. And how does America play into all this? I'll tell you my theory.

What America wanted from Syria was an oil pipeline to undercut Russia's burgeoning integration with Europe. When Assad shot this idea down, America wanted Assad gone and was willing to do just about anything to make it happen. They tried arming rebels including the Kurds as well as terrorists (with the exception of the Kurds, there was hardly a difference between the two). They even tried blaming Assad for these same terrorist's poison gas attacks in order to justify an American invasion. But Putin outsmarted them every step of the way with better rebels, popular peace deals and successful interventions. America's last hope became using their partners in crime, the Turks, to launch the NATO backed intervention that they couldn't get away with doing themselves and maintain an indefinite no-fly-zone from which to launch a never ending barrage of jihadist mayhem into Syria and eventually, in time, an American invasion to clean up the mess once the world becomes frightened enough to let them get away with it. There were only two problems with this devilish little plot. Turkey didn't have the guts or the firepower to take on Russia, who stood between them and Syria, and they didn't have the support from their own military to launch a Yankee proxy war.

I believe America solved the first problem by using their old buddies, the Gulenists, to launch a purposely doomed and half-assed coup, with Erdogan's full approval, right under the noses of Russian intelligence. Thus giving Putin the opportunity to play the hero and Erdogan the opportunity to play the spurred former allie desperate to make a deal and find a new pappa bear to protect his crumbling fiefdom. All this gave Putin the false impression of having the upper hand and convinced him to make a previously unthinkable concession to his former enemy by unofficially green-lighting a Turkish invasion as long as it ended with Rojava. And just like that Putin fed the Kurds to the treads of Ottoman tanks.

This brings us to what I believe was America's solution to the second problem. With the powerful Turkish Army unwilling to fight their brothers in ISIS or the Russian backed Syrians, a scapegoat was needed and in Turkey their is know better scapegoat than those dastardly, unruly Kurds. So what does America do? They back the Kurds of coarse. Supplying the YPG with guns, air power and even Green Berets. As the territory held by Rojava spread, so did the anti-Kurdish anxiety among the Turkish military elite. By the time the YPG was given the green-light by the US to cross the Euphrates, Turkey had been given the green-light by Russia to invade. It was a fucking set-up from the drop and the Kurds never saw it coming.

The Kurds biggest flaw has always been their seemingly boundless faith in the myth of America as the savior of oppressed peoples. No matter how many times we screw them, they just keep coming back for more abuse like a battered spouse loyal to lover-boy till the bloody end. I'll never understand it. It's as if they were all raised on a steady diet of Sodium Pentothal and John Wayne movies. They still buy into that old post-World War legend of the indispensable America. The America without sin. None other than the late, great Ho Chi Minh once shared this same delusion. Sending Eisenhower opium peace pipes while he sent him agent orange and erecting shrines to the Founding Fathers who would have treated him like a mutt. But Ho finally woke up and grew up. Realizing that Russia would always make a more dependable allie because they knew the taste of Uncle Sams jack boot. He lead his people to freedom. I had long hoped that the Kurds would do the same. That the combination of Vladimir Putin's pragmatism and Abdullah Ocalan's idealism would prove to be the perfect cure for the Middle East's endless woes. Perhaps I was being as foolish as my friends the Kurds. But so is Putin if he believes that he'll ever be able to trust Erdogan and his fellow revanchist barbarians. He had a rare opportunity to win over the most fiercely loyal warriors in the Middle East and he fucking blew it. My admiration for the man has taken a serious blow in the process. I guess the Kurds didn't count as much as the Crimean's or the Abkhazian's. Oh well, Fuck him. My Irish heart will continue to beat for Rojava in spite of my Russian soul. I guess it just goes to show that the only nations you can ever truly rely on are the ones without leaders.

Peace, Love, Empathy and Anarchy- CH

Friday, September 2, 2016

My Shitlist 2016

About a year ago I penned a raucus little rant-page called My Shit List. Goddamn, it seems like it's been so much longer then that. It was basecally a list of the people who happened to be pissing me off most at that moment. It wasn't exactly my best work but I had a lot of fun writing it and I always intended it to be an anual thing. I figure now, amidst my late election season malaise, is as good a time as any. As with the last Shit List, I don't discriminate and I don't pull punches. I'm an equal opportunity bitch. I'm gonna say some mean but very necessary things about all kinds of fucking people, some of them you may hate as much as I do but you're probably just as likely to find someone you like or even admire below and you're gonna get offended and you're not gonna like it and you're not gonna like me and I'm not gonna give a fuck but that doesn't mean I don't like you. Any asshole can tell you what you wan't to hear. It takes a real friend to tell you your god is a cunt. So try to keep that in mind as I burn the dozen or so cunts bellow a new asshole. I hurt you because I love you dearest motherfuckers and it hurts me a lot more than it hurts you. If you cetch me smilling it's only because I'm a bit of a sadomasochist.

Donald Trump & Bernie Sanders-  I'm not putting these two shits together because they represent the same thing. No way, fuck that tired anti-populist cliche. I put Bernie and the Donald at the top of this list because they EXPLOIT the same damn thing for all the wrong reasons. People in this country are pissed and they have every fucking right to be. They've been fucking corn-holed three ways to Sunday by both major parties, who have spent decades feeding them lies and false hope while they send their jobs to third world sweatshops and their sons and daughters to die in third world quagmires. It's about damn time they fucking pushed back. It's just a crying shame that they chose to do so with a phony socialist sell-out and a two-bit con man with a flea-bit hair-piece. Fuck em both, America. You can do so much better.

Trevor Noah-  When I first learned that Jon Stewart was calling it quits last year and leaving his post at the Daily Show, I was heartbroken. When I first learned that his replacement wasn't the obvious choice, Samantha Bee, or the dangerous choice, Vanessa Williams, but some South African, pretty-boy, meatball surgeon named Trevor Noah, I was furious. But I bit my tongue and counted to ten and decided to give the fucker a shot. I shouldn't have. He fucking blew it. He's not the worse comedian in the world, at least not as long as Dane Cook is still alive, but he's got no fucking heart. Which is what made Stewart so brilliant. He also has no fucking brains. Which he made painfully obvious one day into his coverage of the Democratic National Convention when he all but endorsed Killary and forfeited an entire weeks worth of top shelf comedy material to tired Trump burns and limp wristed "laughing with her" jostling. Way to let us down Trevor. You might as well just spit in Jon's fucking face.

Gary Johnson-  Just like Trevor, I wanted to like this guy, I really did. But much like his fellow pseudo-libertarian, Rand Paul, he made this task impossible by becoming a careerist, flip-flopping, chicken-shit. In order to wack off the Never-Trumpers and hustle massive cabbage from those Randian oligarchs, the Koch Brothers, Gary remade himself as the official unofficial pro-war antiwar candidate. First he's for the Iran peace deal, then he's against it, then his for it again but only if we hold on to Tehran's frozen bank accounts because grand theft is so free market, apparently. First he supports drone strikes, then he doesn't, then he does, sort of but not really but fuck you, whatever. Last week he wants to cut military spending by 43%. This week it's 20. Next week, who knows, maybe he'll be naming new battleships after Bob Marley songs and Kush strains. Is this the "new" Libertarian Party I keep hearing about? Because I'm not impressed. If I wanted to vote for a watered down, pot smoking Republican I'd vote for Bill Clinton. Then I'd shoot myself.

John Cena-  In my last Shit List I came out of the closet as a lifelong wrestling fan which was only slightly easier than admitting my occasional desire to have a cunt. I did so to trash wrestling's greatest asshole, Hulk Hogan. So this time around I figured I'd gun for his successor, John Cena. Vince Mcmahon's homo-erotic Ideal for the quasi-Nietzschean New Superstar. Roid juiced muscles? Check. Neckless head stump? Check. Knee-jerk nationalist pomp? Check. Nearly non-existent skill-set? Check. Marky-Mark style black culture appropriation? Check. Shameless marketing to children under the guise of "family friendly" heroism? Oh that's a big fucking check. Yep, I'm pretty sure that's everything it takes to be a modern day Hulk Hogan. Now just add a rapidly receding hairline and a dash of racism and your set. You're the ultimate sports entertainment douche-bag. Now go out and give someone brain damage (preferably yourself) you big dumb piece of meat. Can you see that asshole? Or should I repeat myself. (Sigh) god I miss ECW.

Paul Kagame-  Every neoliberal's favorite African dictator. Paul is probably best known as the rebel Tutsi savior of the Rwandan Genocide. The harsh reality is that their are probably few people more responsible for that tragedy than good old Paul himself, who led a CIA backed Ugandan invasion of his home country in 1990 and spent the next four hellish years slaughtering and torturing the nations long oppressed majority, known as the Hutus, until they finally snapped in '94 with Kagame's assassination of the Hutu presidents of both Rwanda and neighboring Burundi by shooting down their plane. That is when the genocide began and it wasn't just merciless Hutu's killing defenseless Tutsi's. It went both ways, with Kagame himself taking part in his share of the madness. But once the dust settled and CNN got control of the narrative the picture became childishly black and white- Hutus bad- Tutsis good- and Paul Kagame became the heroic president for life. And Paul hasn't exactly mellowed with age. He's spent the better part of the 90's and 2000's cultivating the endless chaos in the Congo, adding a few million to his already staggering body-count and he seems to have his eye on mineral-rich little Burundi next. No wonder he's one of the top recipients of US aid in the dark continent. It doesn't get much darker or more American than that.

Gloria Steinem-  All hail the queen of mainstream liberal feminism, a stuck-up, hypocritical, demagogic, bigot who we must all bow to or be banned forever from the kingdom of equality over which she reigns supreme. Gloria first dug out a groovy little niche for herself as the photogenic poster girl for Second Wave Feminism. She didn't waste much time before using her newfound limelight to disgrace her own cause. The first sign of the growing hypocrisy of Gloria's megalomania reared it's ugly head at the '72 Democratic National Convention where she threw her alleged comrade in arms, Shirley Chisholm under the fucking bus in order to earn a plush spot on McGovern's doomed campaign team. From here Gloria would go on to build the National Women's Political Caucus and Ms. Magazine. She also went on to bash trans-women, sex workers and anyone else who didn't conform to her shallow perception of feminism including female supporters of Bernie Sanders whom she all but deemed defacto sluts for not backing her foul little bestie and fellow feminist exploitation expert, Killary Clinton. Gloria, sister, coming from one feminist to another, go fuck yourself.

Dennis Leary-  I can basically sum up my feelings for this piece of shit in just two short words- JOKE THIEF. Dennis Leary built a multi-million dollar comedy career on ripping off the material and persona of the greatest stand-up comedian since Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks, a man who use to be his friend. A man who went to his death bed watching his former friend use his life's work to sell-out to MTV for a gimmick. And as if that wasn't enough he went on to rip off the greatest comedian since Hicks, Louis CK to create his hit comedy jam "Asshole". You know what Dennis, you earned that last one. You really are a fucking asshole.

Alan Dershowitz-  You probably know him as a member of OJ's Dream Team. Geeks like me know him as the worlds most litigious plagiarist (think Dennis Leary with tenure.) The only thing Harvard Law professor Alan Dershowitz hates more than innocent Palestinian children and decapitated blondes are fellow members of the tribe who not only condemn his racist brand of apartheid apology but also point out the blatantly half-assed plagiarism he uses to defend it. The Dersh-bags solution to this particular Jewish problem is to use his Ivy League cache to demolish these men's careers. Sometimes he succeeds (poor Norman Finkelstein), sometimes he fails (lucky Noam Chomsky) but either way he damages the very real plight of his people by using their memory to bolster his own morally and academically derelict behavior.

Caitlyn Jenner-  Now what kind of self-respecting bitch would I be if I didn't include one of my own on this list. First and foremost, I must recite what has become the new tranny mantra- I, Comrade Hermit, gendefuck man-dyke, do solemnly swear that I respect and admire Caitlyn Jenner and what she represents as far as normalizing relations between my people and the hate-fucks. -With that being said, I also happen to think that Caitlyn is a pompous, sexist, elitist cunt and the strange timing of her coming out has a lot to do with that. Back when Caitlyn still went by Bruce she mowed down a 69 year old animal rights activist named Kim Howe with her SUV in what looked suspiciously like a texting and driving wreck. The very next month, mere weeks after the incident, Caitlyn came out and suddenly the narrative shifted from "Bruce the granny killer" to "Caitlyn the hero". I'm not suggesting that Caitlyn's whole transition is a fucking hoax. She had been visibly going through hormone therapy for years before this incident. So why then did she choose to officially come out with the pigs hot on her trail, which is usually a particularly hostile place for a trans-person to be in. My theory is that that is exactly why she choose then and there to come out. She flipped a coin on America's tolerance and she flipped the fucking script on the LAPD by daring them to reveal their ignorance and become the police force that bashes the worlds most famous trans-woman by performing the all too common heterosexist practice of tossing a woman into a men's prison and it worked. In February Caitlyn killed a woman. In April she came out. And by June the cops tossed the charges. Game, set, match, Caitlyn. I guess it goes to show, you can take the girl out of the Kardashians but you can't take the Kardashian out of the girl. And I know what some of you are going to say, "But Comrade, she's soooooo inspiring!" Too that I'll quote someone who became one of my own early female role-models with her part as foal-mouthed Amy Blue in the 90's cult gem The Doom Generation, one Rose McGowan who said of dear, inspiring Caite, "Being trans doesn't make one immune from criticism." Thank you Rose. Amy Blue couldn't have put it better herself.

John Lewis-  From one sacred cow to the next. No one on this list has fallen farther than John Lewis, a legit civil rights superstar-cum-congressman who headed up the righteously radical SNCC and got his noggin cracked with MLK during the struggle for voting rights in the height of the sixties Dixie darkness. Sadly, like all too many radical sixties heroes, John went on to go the way of the Clintons, riding up the Washington yuppie-gulch to become a loyal apparatchik for the Democratic Party, often using his well earned historical cache to legitimize an organization who's true dedication to the black community hasn't evolved much since the days of Strom Thurmond. Don't tell them that, of coarse. They still suffer under the delusion that PC lip service equals social justice. John's less than secret legacy as a putrid sell-out has never been more brazenly obvious than it was this summer when Lewis led his putrid sell-out  party in a phony sit-in on the Capitol floor in protest of the GOP's refusal to vote on a bill that robs people of their Second Amendment rights based on the fascist Bush era No-Fly-List which reduces the very premise of Habeas Corpus to toilet paper. All for a chicken-shit, popcorn headline during an election year. And that's not even the worst part. The real fucking kicker is that Lewis himself had been a target of the tyranny of the No-Fly-List and it took him, a veteran congressman and self-proclaimed pacifist, months to get off it. One wonders what Dr. King would make of his former comrade now, as he uses and abuses the memory of the movement he died for to deprive others of their own civil rights. I imagine he probably wouldn't say a word to Brother Lewis. He'd simply turn his back to him and walk away, shaking his head in disgrace.

Bono-  If you ask any random working-class Irishman, from Dublin to Belfast, what they think of Bono, their countries favorite son, They'll tell you straight up with a snort and a scoff, "What fuck'n wanker!" So what do my ancestral countrymen know that the rest of the world apparently doesn't. To put it bluntly, maybe they can smell his fucking ego from the Netherlands where he chose to hide his money to dodge the Emerald Isles taxes during it's worst financial crisis in generations. While every Pat, Tom and other Pat was losing their fucking shirts to the bursting Irish corporate bubble that Bono so vocally championed, the fair-weather patriot was too busy burying his Euro's between the windmills to give a fuck. Or maybe it's his paternalistic treatment of Africa, which he insists on saving, as cameras blaze, by making the continent dependent on white charity from the very oligarchs who rape them blind of the resources that could grant them true independence. But then who would Bono use for props to prove his messianic awesomeness to the waiting world? Or maybe it's just the fact that the shithead hasn't released a halfway listenable album in over twenty years yet he still has the fucking nerve to team up with Apple to force albums down non-consenting iTunes users fucking throats in a faux-punk stunt that earned him and his band mates over 50 mil. But if you ask me it's all of the above. I think the gross spectacle of Bono can best be summed up with a popular Irish joke- "What's the difference between Bono and Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ doesn't run around Dublin telling everyone he's Bono."

Jay Z & Beyonce-  Jay got his start slinging rocks to his people in the hood. Now he slings moronic, sexist and materialistic crap to the wrest of the world. I'm not sure which is worse but both pale in comparison to his sickening response to Harry Belafonte's righteous complaint about Jay and Bey's total lack of interest in giving back to the black community. And I quote- "My presence is charity. Just who I am. Just like Obama's. Obama provides hope", Spoken like Nino Brown. BTW Jay, Obeezy also provides drone strikes to all his Africans back in Somalia, but I digress. In spite of Jay's little hissy-fit, the power couple soon began making quite a show dolling out the bucks to save face. I guess Black Lives Matter couldn't write a check with Jay and Bey's "presence". Beyonce earned her own place on this list by pimping out the Black Panthers to sell records with the inspiring message that institutional racism can be cured by "making that paper". Somehow, I don't think that's what Huey Newton had in mind. A power couple indeed. Fuck em both.

Killary Clinton-  Just like my last Shit List, this one wasn't written in any particular order. But I always save the worst for last. Last year the worst was celebrated Satan impersonator and real life Sith Lord, Dick Cheney. So I figured it was only fitting that this years bottom bitch be old Dick's female counterpart, Madame Secretary Hillary "Killary" Clinton. What can I say about this femonster that I haven't already said a million fucking times? She's a back stabbing, black pandering, tax evading, money grubbing, war mongering, welfare cutting, prison building, coupe throwing, email hiding, Qaddafi killing, Bernie fucking, Putin blaming, blood drinking, baby eating cunt with a capital C and worst of all she's probably our next President and we're all totally fucked. Oh well, I guess every Raul Duke needs his/her Dick Nixon to troll and I plan on giving mine holy hell over the next four to (gulp!) eight years. Here's hoping I make it to the bottom of her own Shit List. I couldn't think of a greater honor.

Stay angry dearest motherfuckers.

Peace/Love/Empathy & Anarchy- CH