Well, dearest motherfuckers, this last week has been a bit of a fucking roller coaster ride for your favorite shut in muckraker. First there was my twenty-seventh birthday which had me a little blue at first. If you find yourself asking "what the fuck are you bitching about" then you've never dealt with depression and I kindly suggest you go fuck yourself with something sharp and rusty.
Along with the usual dreary thoughts of getting older and lurching another step closer to the grave, I also found myself preoccupied with the uncomfortable fact that my personal hero, Kurt Cobain, shuffled off this mortal coil at the age of twenty-seven. The ugly way he chose to leave this world aside, everything Kurt ever was and ever did was done by this age. Leading Nirvana, who I believe were the greatest rock and roll band since the Stones burned out and became a parody of there former selves. Creating Nevermind and In Utero, what I believe to be two of the three greatest albums of the last few generations along with Hole's Live Through This(by Kurt's widow Courtney). Not to mention the mini cultural revolution he almost inadvertently ignited that brought punk rock back to the forefront of relevance, where it fucking belongs and Kurt achieved all of this and more while suffering with chronic pain and mental illness that makes my own woes look downright trivial by comparison and what the fuck have I done with my twenty-seven miserable years but suffer, exist and bitch, bitch, bitch. No job, no car, no wine, no women, no wonder its dark.
So, yeah, I started this week feeling pretty fucking down but then the unbelievable occurred, in Washington of all places, that pulled my fat, bellyaching ass back up.
Just in case you live in a fucking ditch, I'll fill you in. The Supreme Court blew the dust from there lazy asses and did something right for a fucking change by striking down the last section standing of Bill Clinton's disgustingly hateful Defense of Marriage Act, making gay marriage legal in all fifty fucking states, from Florida to Alaska, from North Dakota to Texas, FUCKING TEXAS! If your gay you can marry the one you love in fucking Denton, Texas! Bigots be damned.
Needless to say this victory was a long, long, long time in the making for the LGBT community. Over forty years, nearly half a fucking century of tireless, thankless struggle, from the uprisings of Stonewall to the court house steps, just to be recognized as equal and nothing more and a lot of people didn't make it. So many wonderful, beautiful people, unsung heroes lost along the way to disease, indifference and outright hate. This victory was for all of them and all of us too including breeders like myself. For everyone who's ever been picked on, stepped on, left out and told they don't belong, we ALL fucking won this week. This week we are all queer and we are all fucking beautiful.
So what if I've lived twenty-seven years without doing a goddamn thing. The gay rights movement had to wait forty-six just to fucking live, I can wait a few more without beating myself up about it. At the end of the day the best we can do is fight for a future and if we fail let us fail with honor, pride and dignity and let these brave failures give others the strength to succeed so we never fail in vain.
I only wish Kurt could be here to see the sun rise. I think even he would agree it was worth the wait.
Stay beautiful, dearest motherfuckers, stay beautiful.