Well, dearest motherfuckers, it looks like it's official, what with Bernie's inevitable return to the feet of his DNC masters like a purring cat and the Republicans finally, reluctantly, swallowing the cyanide forced into there mouths by there own, long abused, electorate with the rapacious zeal of a prison bitch who's finally turned the table on his tormentors, 2016 will undeniably go down in history as the most repulsive display of defunct democracy in this unholy empire's history.
2016 is the year that this damnable nations two largest (and, naturally, most damnable) political parties has chosen the two worst human beings on earth to run for the presidency. In an age of apocalyptic upheaval, when leadership of any kind is more desperately needed than lead-free water, our choices for leader of the "free" universe come down to Donald Trump and Hillary (Killary) Clinton. A mobbed up, neonazi, snake-oil slinger and a sociopathic, body stacking, post-feminist, murder machine. This is what it comes down to? This is democracy?
Of coarse, as I've been desperately struggling to drill into you fine folks numb skulls for what feels like a millennia, there are, in fact, more than two fucking choices. In most states there's at least four. Aside from carpet-head and the dragon lady, there's Gary Johnson for the Libertarian Party and my personal favorite, Jill Stein for the Green Party. While these two candidates are far from perfect (Still miss you Ralph) they beat the ever-loving Christ out of the other two options.
But, for the sake of argument, I'll play dumb like the rest of the country and pretend our only two options are the toxic twins of eternal chaos. In which case this election becomes a game of; who do you hate? Which is worse? Which ego-drunk, wanna-be tyrant scares you less? Or, as this twisted national pass-time is more commonly known; who is the lesser of two evils?
So who's worse, the Donald or Killary? The choice should be obvious, right? The slumlord. The con-man. The proudly racist Butthole Birther who barks, cheerfully, about torturing civilians and ethnically cleansing the Southwest of anything browner then a bleached tube-sock. When it all comes down to the wire, as scandalously deceitful and shamelessly plutocratic as Madame Killary might be, Donald Trunp has to take the cake, right? I mean, shit, even my childhood mentors Noam Chomsky and Courtney Love have come to this conclusion and I, myself, on this very blog, have accused the Trumpster fire of being everything from a Killary puppet to the veritable reincarnation of Benito Mussolini. OK ,if your still with me here, you've probably realized I'm doing a bit here. So I'll cut the shit and rip the needle off the record right now. Trump maybe a lot of gross things, racist, sexist, homophobic, Islamophobic, repulsive, tasteless, incestuous, verbally incontinent, morally retarded. Sure, sure, he's all that shit and then some but one thing the Donald is not, at least not this year, is the worse of two evils. Not with Killary still breathing gasoline.
Don't get me wrong, this motherfucker is dangerous. What he appears to represent is not only a rejection of the status quo (hardly a sin) but an embrace of the same racial scapegoating and chest-thumping glorification of state power that plagued the dying empires of Old Europe between World Wars. Yes, Trump may indeed be a new breed of fascist or at least so it seems to the naked eye on first glance but upon inspecting the Donald more closely, under glass, after scratching off a layer or two of noxious, pseudo-populist Cheeto dust, it becomes readily apparent that Trump is something far less terrifying. He's a fraud. A flim-flam artist in the first degree and this whole damn election has just been one big, long grift. That's why his campaign engine is held together with pantyhose and running on empty. That's why his rallies, in between the race-baiting violence, play like a bad late-night infomercial with Donald playing the part of the solicitous televangelist, slinging his ghost-written self-help books and holy water like rock cocaine at a Detroit swap meet. That's why this motherfucker has no discernibly consistent policy on anything.
But, once again, lets play dumb and pretend that Trump believes a goddamn word that passes through his slimy, jacked, lizard lips. Lets say the Donald really does want to pack all the Mexicans into a south bound train, build a Great Wall of Trump on the Rio Grande and launch drone strikes against all the girls who wouldn't blow him in high school. Hows he gonna do it? Who in his or her right mind is going to take orders from this ginger rodeo clown? The Pentagon? Congress? The Supreme court? I don't think so. They'd laugh in his fucking face just like those girls in high school. But the Commander-in-Trump demands it! Him and what fucking army. Who's really got the Donald's back aside from a drunken brood of inbred hicks and a mish-mosh of D-list celebrity has-bins. In spite of his bluster and bullshit bravado, Trump has no friends in high places. No high-powered industrialists or four-star generals to give his Fourth-Reich teeth. Hitler and Mussolini didn't act solo. They were well connected and even better organized. Trump is neither.
In all likelihood, a Trump presidency will be the most feckless, uneventful, one-term snoozefest this country has ever seen. The Donald will make scandalous pronouncements. No one but the turkey-vultures in the media will listen. The Donald will have a hissy-fit and the American people will be treated to a front row display of exactly how powerless the president really is. Trump's best hope is to pull an Obama and hand the reigns of power over to the leadership of his party but Trump won't do that. His colossal ego won't allow him to. A Trump presidency will likely serve as nothing more than yet another epic failure in the career of a life-long loser. The same, sadly, can not be said for the queen of chaos, Killary Clinton.
Killary knows exactly what she's going to do and she knows exactly how she's going to do it. She's going to further her lifelong mission of guaranteeing America's domination of the known fucking universe and if her long career of grossly over-trumpeted achievements is any indication, we're in for a bumpy ride. This is the same woman who micromanaged her husbands brutal bombing campaign on Kosovo, all in the name of a genocide that never happened and all to deplete Russia of its last Allie in the region with the end result being the creation of a racist, ethno-gangster state that now serves as Europe's capitol for heroin, sex slavery and black market organs. This is the woman who turned Libya, once one of Africa's wealthiest and most socially equal nations into a smoking heap of Islamic terrorism that is slowly engulfing the entire continent. All so she could hang Gaddafi's head on her fucking mantle. This is the woman who quit as Secretary of State over Obama's initial refusal to directly fund Al-Qaeda in Syria. This is the woman who served as the architect of a neonazi coup-de-tat in Ukraine in order to suck Russia into a black hole of endless ethnic warfare (Thankfully, unlike Milosevic, Putin didn't take the bait.) and sabotage there integration with Europe. This is the woman who turned a long peaceful debate between China and it's neighbors over the ownership of a cluster of unpopulated Islands into a giant, nuclear powered game of Battleship. And this is the woman who wants to start World War 3 with Russia by going head-to-head with there fighter jets in both Syria and the Baltic's. With Killary as president we will be closer to nuclear apocalypse then we've been since the Cuban Missile Crisis.
For all Trumps military tough talk and foreign policy inconsistencies, he has shown more hesitation to expand the American Empire to the gates of Russian hell than any candidate for either major party this year. He's still all for killing Muslims, so much so he wants to invite Putin to take part in the bloodbath but Trump doesn't appear to share Killary's lust for Russophobic holy war. A Trump presidency may be chaotic, violent, racist and dangerous. It may even include a couple race riots and a few crimes against humanity. But it is far less likely to be as downright apocalyptic as a Killary regime. So if your looking for the lesser of two evils in 2016, my vote is on the racist moron over the worlds finest female mass murderer since Elizabeth Bathory. But I'd personally rather get a prostate exam with a fucking chainsaw then vote for either one of them. Please, take it from me, dearest motherfuckers, vote third party this November. Then hurry home and start digging. We're gonna need a lot of fallout shelters to survive this mess.
Peace, Love and Empathy- CH