Legalize Everything.

In this current age of Trumpian dystopia, what with the unexpected rebirth of the radical right in this country, it's easy for leftists like myself to feel down (Clinical Depression doesn't exactly help either). But, believe it or not, dearest motherfuckers, there is some reason for hope. In the long run, the great arch of history tends to veer towards the left-lane of liberty. The clearest example of this is the Culture War. Less then a decade ago, the idea of pot being all but legal, in one form or another, from Colorado to Pennsylvania, was nearly unthinkable. Gay marriage being legal nation wide seemed even less likely. But here we are, gay folks are getting hitched, everyone's getting baked and there's not a goddamn thing Trump or his jackbooted fan-club can do about it. But that doesn't mean the war is over and this is one war that this pacifist doesn't want to stop. Not until everyone is free and everything is legal.

When it comes to most things, I'm basically a libertarian socialist. When it comes to matters of vice and virtue, however, I'm more of a libertine socialist. My basic philosophy is that if it feels good and it doesn't hurt anybody but yourself, then it's a gift from god worth indulging in responsibly and it sure as fuck isn't anybody's business but your own. With all that being said, in regards to the good news on dope and gays, my response is, why stop there?

Marijuana is fantastic. It's like green Tylenol. It's good for everything. Got Arthritis? Smoke a joint. Feeling depressed? Smoke a joint. Can't get to sleep? Smoke a joint. Nothing interesting on TV? Smoke a joint. As far as I'm concerned, pot should be legal everywhere for everyone. But why stop there? Ecstasy and psychedelics can do wonders for mental health when used properly. Prescription heroin has been used to successfully keep long-time junkies at bay in Holland for decades and it's far less toxic than that corporate methadone sludge we still push in the States. Hell, even cocaine has fueled some of the greatest cinema ever made (thank blow for Taxi Driver). As far as I'm concerned, if it grows out of the ground, legalize it. Marijuana, salvia, peyote, psilocybin, shit even Coca and Opium. Hill tribes and mountain farmers have been using both peacefully to get through the day since Christ wore short-pants. As for all that grotty chemical shit, I say decriminalize it. We've been bashing our bloody fucking brains out with prohibition for over half a goddamn century and where has it got us? In debt and enslaved by the Prison Industrial Complex. Legalize it!

Marriage equality is basic common sense. Marriage is a simple contract between consenting adults. Why regulate it based on genitalia? But, once again, why stop there? Thousands of people practice polygamy in this country for both religious and personal reasons. Why force them to live beneath the shadows of lunatics like Warren Jeffs? What makes their love any less legitimate than anyone else's. And if you wanna get all Christ-y about this shit, just try slinging a cat through the Old Testament without hitting a polygamist. There quite literally everywhere. So? Out of the Bible and into the streets! Legalize it!

Polygamists and queer folks aren't the only sexual minorities that face oppression in this country either. Discrimination against the BDSM community remains wide spread and totally politically correct. LGBTQ+? BDSM? I happen to be a member of both of these maligned alphabets. Why should it be anymore exceptable to bash me for being a toe-sucking submissive than it is for me being non-binary? I wasn't exactly given a choice on either matter. And while it may not be illegal to be queer, polyamorous or a sadomasochist in this country, it's also not illegal to be fired or thrown out into the streets for being any of the above in most states. I'm not saying lets lynch the landlord but can we at least keep him out of my fucking bedroom? And as long as we're on the subject of sex, why is paying for it still illegal. What's the difference between a prostitute and a psychiatrist? Seriously! They both offer emotional relief for a price, only hookers give you a hell of a lot more bang for your buck. Why should one get a corner office and the other get a jail cell? I say unionize the working girls (and boys), kick out the fucking pimps and legalize it!

And last but certainly not least absurd, there's gambling. Everybody does it. Everybody knows that everybody does it. But still it's illegal or rather should I say "illegal". You can buy lotto tickets, bet on the ponies and buy stock in Uber but shooting dice behind the bodega is illegal? What the hell kind of fucking sense does that make? Why should Nevada get to have all the fun? Just because there a barren, god-forsaken, hellscape? Have you been to Altoona? There is no reason why I shouldn't be aloud to walk into my local fag-bar and bet the drag queen next to me fifty bucks that Mike Pence doesn't get busted for butt-fucking rent-boys by 2020. It's my goddamn money! Legalize it!

Who gets to make these stupid fucking rules? And what gives them the authority to run our lives? The answer to both these questions is the state and they do it because they can, respectively. Which is why I'm a libertarian socialist and banning the state is the one form of prohibition that I'm down with. But until my dream of a stateless society can be realized we'll have to settle for small victories to keep us going. So I say if consenting adults want to smoke opium, shoot craps, get pegged by a dominatrix, get a sex-change and marry her, all the power to em. What with all the war, blood, guts and murder on this boiling planet, don't we have better things to do then regulate consensual human behavior? Bong rips and scissor fights are the tits but, mark my words, its only the beginning. The American electorate may be dumb as bricks but there smart enough to know that prohibiting victim-less crimes is bullshit. Which makes them twice as smart as the dipshits they elect. If that's not a silver lining on the Trump cloud then I don't know what is.

Keep it up, dearest motherfuckers. Live free and legalize everything.


Peace, Love, Anarchy and Empathy- CH