Sunday, January 1, 2017

Sure, Fine, Fuck-It, Whatever

2016 was a harsh year. The weather sucked and everyone who mattered died. But mostly it sucked because of the election. A dizzying circus of whole-sale horse-shit that felt like it would never fucking end until, finally, it did. A grabby, race-baiting, reality TV personality somehow managed to beat a seasoned, Wall-Street, murder machine. Sure, fine, cool, fuck-it, whatever. I was just glad it was fucking over and I'd never have to right about the goddamn thing again. I could go back to writing about obscure foreign conflicts and gender dysphoria. You know, easy shit. But to quote Al Pacino in the worst Godfather movie- "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!". You see, dearest motherfuckers, the 2016 Presidential Election is the Christmas gift from hell. It just keeps giving all bloody century long. 2016 never fucking ends.

It all should have ended on November 8th. When the American electorate defied the Washington/Wall-Street establishment and their dickless harpies in the mainstream media by voting down their precious Lord Killary in favor of an unsanctioned ass named Donald Trump. It wasn't a clean win. The Donald took the Electoral College, while the queen of war took the Popular. But the Donald beat Killary fair and square by the establishments own stupid fucking rules. Needless to say, the establishment was not pleased. In fact, they were downright apoplectic. Watching the idiots on MSDNC squirm in their shit-caked britches as they realized how clueless they were is probably one of the few truly happy moments I experienced during the election. It wasn't supposed to go this way. The media elite and their DNC puppet masters had only egged Trump on in the first place because he was the only creature on earth more repulsive than the Clintons. Donald was a candidate designed to lose. But they had underestimated how truly disgusted the American people had become, not just with Teflon oligarchs like the Clintons but with the crooked media who exalted them. Trump was a fuck-up. He got 1.5 million fewer votes than that country-club Ken doll, Mitt Romney did. But Killary fucked up way worse. Pulling in a whopping 5.4 million fewer votes than Obama did in 2012, getting shellacked the worst in Rust-Belt states like my native Pennsylvania, where Trump took nearly every county (I voted for Stein).

To put it simply, the establishment fucked up. They had taken working folks for a ride one too many times. This should have been clear during the primaries, when Killary had to cheat just to beat a Fabian fossil like Bernie Sanders, who got zero press time and went out of his way to shoot himself in the fucking foot. All the polls showed old Bernie massacring Trump in a regular election but the establishment didn't listen. They just kept pushing their rotten candidate down peoples throats. Never mind that Killary had become a symbol of everything that was wrong with Washington. A trigger happy, globalist, Wall-Street shill that never stepped foot on a country she wasn't willing to bomb and never flew over an American factory she wasn't willing to outsource. She was the home-team fave and Trump was a grabby jackass who pretended to be a billionaire. He was the guy the cool kids invited to their parties just so they could get him drunk and bet him to bark like a seal. But Trump didn't matter. They could have put Seymour Butts on the ticket and he would have won. People had just had enough. They didn't vote for Trump. They voted against the establishment.

The Democrats and the media could have learned an important lesson here. They could have took this sobering moment to learn a lesson about taking advantage of the people you depend on. But that's not their style. So they decided instead to piss on these people and call them all dupes of the Kremlin. They went back to that tired, old warhorse that failed to get their lazy asses across the finish line during the election and blamed all their own failings on the Russians. According to them, Killary didn't lose because she's a repulsive excuse for a candidate. She lost because of a massive, convoluted conspiracy involving FSB hackers, Wikileaks and "fake news" sites like this one with the dastardly Vladimir Putin playing the part of the man behind the curtain, pulling all our levers. Never mind that they don't have a lick of verifiable proof to support this preposterous farce. And never mind that even according to their own hopped up conspiracy, the worst the Russians are guilty of is educating the American public about the Democrats own dreadful behavior behind closed doors. The establishment is pissed and their gonna have their fucking hissy-fit even if it means starting World War 3. After all, if Killary couldn't give them their precious nuclear holocaust they would just have to get it themselves.

So here we are. It's 2017, Donald Trump is my president and McCarthyism is alive and well. Sure, fine, fuck-it, whatever. Can I go back to writing about Rojava and vagina envy now? Because if I have to write one more article about this stupid, goddamn election, I swear to Kropotkin's ghost, I will literally die. Fuck 2016 and give it back to the Russians. I've had enough.

Peace, Love and Begrudging Empathy- CH

P.S. This post is dedicated to the two trolls on YouTube who threatened to rape me yesterday for being a mouthy genderqueer feminist. The rage they provided me with was the fuel I needed to tare through my seasonal depression and finish this piece. Keep it up, you malignant cunts. Your stupidity gives me wings.

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