My War With Words

Holy fucking shit balls, Batman! That last one was a bitch and a half to write. I'm sure it was a bitch and a half to read too. So I greatly thank you kindly, the few of you with the patience and fortitude to actually make it all the way through my Anti-NATO Manifesto and that means you and quite possibly only you, Aunt Barb. Any attention I can actually get from this thing is very much appreciated but Jesus tap dancing Christmas this blogging thing is a lot less easy then I thought it would be and for most people it probably is easy but in case you haven't noticed I'm not most fucking people. I'll explain a bit of my writing process and maybe you'll understand.

I have a very peculiar mix of gifts and disabilities that makes this shit kinda time consuming. On the one hand, according to my last psych exam at least, my verbal skills are on the high end of average. On the other hand, according to the same psych exam, my mechanical skills are on the rock bottom end of average. Basically, I'm a poor mans savant, with my right brain on the gas and my left on the breaks. It would be a lot damn easier if I was just plain fucking stupid. As a result of this odd predicament, I have all these things I wanna fucking say but I cant right them down fast enough. I literally can't keep up with myself. So I'll often be writing sentence two before I'm even finished writing sentence one.

An example;  Holy fucking shit balls, Batman! That last one sure it was a bitch and a half to read.

Annoyingly confusing, right?! Well try working your ass off to write a goddamn eight page manifesto, only to read a bushel of batshit fucking nonsense. Its goddamn infuriating. So I need total concentration to write and I have to write the first draft because I cant type worth shit. So I'll listen to whole albums on YouTube, through my headphones, while writing on a pad of paper next to the keyboard. Usually, one or two albums will give me enough time to finish but this one took me seven   ( Fucking seven!!! )

1. Isn't Anything by My Bloody Valentine - Beautiful, weird and fucking beautiful

2. Atomizer by Big Black - Ugly, weird, scary and absolutely brilliant

3. Gish by The Smashing Pumpkins - A personal favorite

4. Album ( Generic Flipper ) by Flipper - Insane, another personal favorite

5. Nowhere by Ride - Shoegaze at its most majestic

6. On Fire by Galaxie 500 - A new personal favorite

7. Psychocandy by The Jesus And Mary Chain - The best album of the 80's and my favorite of the bunch

This whole process alone usually takes a couple of days. This one took a goddamn week and then I have to fucking type this thing, which, as I said before, I can't do worth shit. I type, hunt and peck style, with two hands and two fucking fingers, one letter at a time and only a few hours a day, because if I type any longer then that my stir fried lizard brain starts to feel like runny cream corn and my wrists ache like a tweeked out, chronic masturbator. This shit usually goes on for fucking days. This time it took another goddamn week and then I proof read until my eyeballs fucking bleed then, finally, I push publish and fucking scream.

Your probably asking, "Why fucking do it then?". The answer is simple, because I love it and I never regret it, once its finished. I wrote this last post because I was sick and tired of the media's totally one sided coverage of the war in Ukraine and I thought at least one American comrade should give the rebels side of the story and if I reach one person, just one single fucking person, even my Aunt Barb and make them think twice, even if I don't convince them in the end then it feels totally worth it and when I see that people in countries I'll probably never see like Romania and Kyrgyzstan ( Yes! Fucking Kyrgyzstan!! ) have seen my page, that's  even better. ( Sorry Aunt Barb ) And that's it. Having a voice that reaches past the walls of my rural Pennsylvania house makes all the cramps and headaches totally worth it.

So be patient, Dearest motherfuckers and I'll keep busting my fat ass to make it worth the wait.

The "Russia" Problem ( An Anti-NATO Manifesto )

All across the vast expanses of Eastern Europe the hills are alive with the grinding sounds warfare. From the frigid shores of the Baltic to the warm waters of the Black Sea, the former nations of the Warsaw Pact serve as a virtual theater for a chorus of tanks, fighter jets, battle ships, missile batteries and other assorted, high powered, multi million dollar murder machines filling the sky, the sea, the land, with levels of firepower lethal enough to punch a fucking hole through the sun. War games they call it. They got the fucking war part right but this shore as shit aint no fucking game.

The collective forces of the mighty NATO, over twenty nations and hundreds of thousands of soldiers are convening on the borders of Putin's Russia, the worlds most colossal pariah state, ready to pounce upon there query at a seconds notice. Whispers of a Third World War fill the air like smoke and that dreaded specter of nuclear holocaust leers its ugly head over all like a hungry wolf licking its chops over the blood spattered body of its dying prey. But why? How? How the fuck did we get here? How did it come to this? The world once again divided against itself in another doomed war dance.

If you follow the news then you already have the answers or at least you think you do but like most things in the mass media, this new cold war isn't all that it seems. In fact you may be shocked by how little the western worlds coverage reflects reality. One thing we can all agree on, dearest motherfuckers, is that this nasty little saga begins in the Ukrainian  capitol of Kiev.

By the year of our lord, twenty hundred and thirteen, the former Soviet Republic of Ukraine, like many a post-communist state, was a shell of its former glory, corrupt, depleted, and racked with poverty and crippling debt. The west, as always, saw opportunity in the misery of others. The European Union with strong backing from these United States offered then Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych an opportunity to join there elite organization, only there was a ketch. While Ukraine would technically be a member of the EU, it would be something of a second class citizen. While the economic powerhouses of Western Europe would be given full access to the nations cheap but well trained industrial workforce, Ukraine would receive zero access to the kind of immigration rights that would benefit its own economy and increasingly desperate populace. Too put it simply, it was a shit deal but the Ukrainian people were so thirsty for change, any change, that the shit deal wasn't without its fanfare, especially from the nations oligarchs, looking to beef up there own Eurocentric portfolios.

Then Russia weighed in. Vladimir Putin offered Yanukovych a major bailout on its considerable debts to the Motherland in return for a new trade deal between the nations in hopes of avoiding the terrifying prospect of losing the land that gave birth to Russian society to the western orbit. Putin's motives were far from economic, as the deal was far more of a risk to Moscow then it was to Kiev. Putin knew that joining the EU was just the first step in a well documented western plot that ended with NATO's loaded revolver pressed firmly against Mother Russia's temple. So Putin pulled out all the stops to sweeten the deal, leaving the historically opportunistic Yanukovych with the final decision. Yanukovych did the logical thing and took Russia's better deal and then Kiev exploded.

Funny thing about a riot, like a forest fire, even when its planned it looks totally random, kind of like a flash mob and that's essentially what the so called Euromaiden protests became, one big, bloody, billion dollar flash mob, designed and funded by the US State Department. By its own admission, the ironically named National Endowment for Democracy dumped over five billion dollars into poverty stricken Ukraine over the last twenty years, all going to a rogues gallery of corrupt parties and organizations devoted to blindly supporting policies that benefit corporate America and February 2014 was proof positive that those tax dollars weren't spent in vain. What was originally a tiny, inconsequential protest held by a spattering of well meaning if woefully misinformed upper middle class college students in Independence Square became flooded with outsiders, mostly from Ukraine's long pro European western border region, bused in by the hundreds by western backed oligarchs who also beefed up there numbers by paying cash strapped locals to stand in with prefab signs and look pissed.

The real muscle however came in the form of neo-Nazi thugs like Svoboda and the even more violent Right Sector, both organizations designated anti-Semitic hate groups by the Simon Wiesenthal Center. As much as these goose stepping shit heels may hate the Jews, they hate there nations ethnic Russians far worse. Many of them called openly for the whole sale annihilation of both. As the Euromaiden flash mob quickly became a full scale riot these testosterone drunk, skin head cretins took center stage, dressed to the nine in there finest bomber jackets and curve stomping boots, wielding portraits of there vile hero, Nazi collaborator Stepan Bandera, who lead a squadron of racist savages who littered the countryside of there beloved fatherland with the corpses of tens of thousands of innocent Jews and Russians. Now the ideological progeny of these twisted twats have become our boys in Ukraine or as the lapdog American media have so crassly proclaimed them, "brave pro democracy activists". Give me a fucking break.

Naturally it didn't take too long for things to go from bad to way fucking worse with the freedom loving boot boys of Svoboda and Right Sector smashing windows, burning dumpsters and engaging Kiev's own hometown knuckle draggers in the police in full tilt urban combat.

It became painfully clear to both Prime Minister Yanukovych and the EU that things were getting way out of hand and they began trying to work on a compromise that would save the nation from utter bedlam but not everybody shared there thirst for peace. In late February a recording of a private phone conversation between the US Ambassador to Ukraine, Geoffrey Pyatt and Assistant Secretary of State for European Affairs, Victoria Nuland was leaked by unknown sources and to say the leak was an ear opener would be an understatement for the fucking record books. Pyatt listened on compliantly to Nuland, a zesty little dish of Neocon hate fuck who spends her free time away from ass raping democracy canoodling with her equally ultra violent hubby, Bushite Robert Kagan, undoubtedly over a bed of pictures of there numerous victims, anyway.... Where the fuck was I? Oh yeah! Pyatt was listening compliantly while Nuland blew her fucking top over the audacity of the EU to work for peaceful compromise while her and her Obama appointed cohorts worked so hard to overthrow a fucking sovereign nation and look professional doing it. "Fuck the EU" Nuland infamously proclaimed indignantly before her and the Ambassador got to work assembling the names of there favorite Quislings to fill the ranks of the post Yanukovych junta to be. The western media light heartedly covered the "Fuck the EU" section of the story like a goddamn sports blooper but carefully avoided talking honestly about the context in which these words were spoken and totally fucking ignored the fact that two American officials were caught red handed plotting a goddamn coup.

In spite of Miss Nuland's leaked transgressions or perhaps even because of them, the EU managed to secure a totally reasonable compromise with Mr. Yanukovych, who agreed to constitutional reforms and to bump up upcoming national elections to allow the people of Ukraine to decide for themselves which path to take the country down. Everything seemed resolved until  a wave of violence tore its way through Independence Square before the ink on the deal was even dry. Over a matter of hours, 94 people were slaughtered among the throngs of cops and protesters with over 900 injured in a series of bloody sniper attacks followed by intensified urban combat. It didn't take the west long to pin the blame on the embattled Ukrainian Prime Minister, but the motive never really added up. Why the hell Would Yanukovych bust his ass to come up with a peaceful compromise which would undoubtedly pleased the majority of the country only to rip it up and unleash the hounds of hell on the much publicized Euromaiden protesters giving his enemies all the momentum they needed to fucking finish him which is precisely what they did.

Before the bodies were even cold in Liberty Square, Euromaidens skinhead shock troops took several government buildings by storm in a cluster of rapid fire attacks which seemed peculiarly well coordinated for supposedly random acts of revolutionary vengeance. Finally, last but not least, they stormed the Prime Ministers private residence, fucking up the help when they got in there way. Viktor Yanukovych, no saint but a man fairly elected in a fair, internationally observed election. A man who had once been a trusted Allie of the United States was given no choice but to flee the country for his life, allegedly all due to the hubris of his own mindbogglingly idiotic despotism. Like I said this whole fucking narrative felt strange to me. Nothing made a lick of sense until another leaked phone call made things painfully clear.

Urmas Paet, an Estonian Foreign Affairs Minister and by no means an Allie to his nations former occupier, Russia, was sent to investigate the sniper attacks in Kiev. Paet was shocked by what he discovered. After speaking with the main doctor of the Maiden mobile clinic, who was the first medical professional on the scene, Paet came to the horrifying conclusion that the sniper attacks, committed against both protesters and police, were perpetrated by a single party in order to ignite a battle in the streets of the capitol. The exact same kind of bullets had been found in all the bodies and they were not police issue. The only other force present, capable of that level of organized violence was Right Sector, a group not averse to using brutality to get its way. Paet informed the leadership of the EU of his unsettling findings but mysteriously, no further action was taken. The world probably never would have even heard about the investigation if the phone conversation between Urmas Paet and EU Foreign Affairs Chief, Catherine Ashton hadn't been leaked. The EU did its best to play down the importance of the conversation but a visibly indignant Urmas Paet quickly held a press conference, defending the assertions he had made on the leaked call and calling for further investigation but sadly, further investigation never came.

A lot of speculation has gone into who leaked the aforementioned phone call. Some people point the finger at Russian Intelligence, the likely culprit in the "Fuck the EU" phone leak. While others place the blame on Ukrainian SBU agents still loyal to Yanukovych. All very possible, but my own personal theory is that good old Urmas Paet leaked the calls himself after growing tired of his findings being ignored and swept under the rug by his maddeningly indifferent superiors. How does that old saying go? Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned? Regardless, sadly, it hardly made any difference to the western media who simply never reported the story.

It didn't take long after the collapse of the Yanukovych government for a western backed junta, virtually identical to the one suggested by Victoria Nuland, to form and receive an automatic stamp of White House approval. The interim government was a veritable who's who of corrupt, NED funded Washington bootlickers led by the spooky, mantis like, Arseniy Yatsenyuk or as his loving puppet masters affectionately call him, Yats. Far more distressing then the meteoric rise of the insectoid, King Yats was the prominent role played by Euromaidens Nazi muscle in the new order with the reigns of the Ukrainian military being handed over to Svoboda strongman, Ihor Tenyukh and the National Police being run by Washington's favorite neo-Nazi death squad, Right Sector. While the western world didn't seem at all bothered by one of Eastern Europe's largest combat forces being hijacked by racist gangsters who speak of the Holocaust with the wide eyed nostalgia of a cherished holiday memory, the rest of Ukraine was paying attention and the nation that lost over a third of its population to the Third Reich wasn't about to stand for a fucking repeat.

Race and nationality are a tricky subject in Ukraine since there isn't any real genetic difference between ethnic Ukrainians and ethnic Russians, so its really all a matter of identity and in Ukraine as in much of the world, this identity is based largely on language. While only, roughly 17 percent of Ukraine are believed to be ethnic Russians, well over a quarter of the population are Russian speakers, most of them residing in Southern and Eastern Ukraine, most of them working class and most of them Yanukovych voters and when these salt of the earth, blue collar folks learned that not only was the man they elected fair and square overthrown in a foreign funded coup but the bastards put in his place included openly russophobic, neo-Nazi's who celebrate the men who slaughtered there ancestors they naturally reacted with disgust and outrage and when that same junta proclaimed there intentions to ban the Russian language reducing there population to permanent apartheid status that outrage boiled over to full blown rage.

In no place was this rage more palpable then Crimea, a picturesque peninsula on the Black Sea that had been part of Russia from the days of Catherine the Great until Nikita Krushchev arbitrarily handed the region over to his homeland, the Soviet Republic of Ukraine, in 1961, allegedly in the throws of a drunken stupor. But to many on both sides of the border Crimea remained Russian territory, soil fought for, gallantly for centuries against the Ottomans, the Whites and the Nazis and when Ukraine declared independence from Russia after the fall of the Soviet Union with a little help from there friends in Washington, these proud people were ready for another fight, this time to return to the motherland once and for all. Before things could come to blows, Russia stepped in to help broker a treaty between Ukraine and Crimea. Crimea would remain part of the new Ukrainian democracy under the condition that they be given the rights of a semi autonomous republic, complete with there own parliament and prime minister and that Russia be aloud to maintain there naval base in Sebastapol, a major source of economic revenue for the entire peninsula and everything went smoothly until Kiev breached the tiny republics trust by overthrowing the government they overwhelmingly voted for and replacing it with one very hostile towards there interests. The Crimean people called bullshit and refused to recognize this new order. The Crimean parliament voted overwhelmingly to declare independence. A popular and internationally observed referendum followed with over 96 percent of Crimean's voting to rejoin Russia.

Despite the crass, baseless lies of the western media, Russia NEVER, I repeat NEVER FUCKING INVADED CRIMEA!!! This assertion is nothing less then pure, weapons grade, fucking HORSESHIT! There were Russian soldiers in Crimea, some twenty thousand but these soldiers had been there for decades, long before the February coup and had every right to be. Under the aforementioned treaty, the port city of Sebastapol had the right to house as many twenty-five thousand Russian troops and there is not one single solitary shred of evidence that any of these troops ever left there bases before Crimea declared independence and the defacto republics poorly armed militia asked Russian soldiers to help them defend there borders against threats made by Kiev's Nazi junta during the referendum process.

By recognizing Crimea's wish to rejoin Mother Russia, Vladimir Putin was doing nothing more tyrannical then recognizing the will of the people. No different then what the US and the UN did with Kosovo in 2008, only with far less bloodshed and a popular referendum. I personally could give a fuck about Putin but the people of Crimea have spoken. They stood up, bravely, for there democratic rights and THEY WON, not Russia. That should be a goddamn inspiration to any democracy loving citizen of the world, regardless of nationality.

And Crimea was an inspiration, to there ethnic Russian neighbors to the north in the eastern border region of Donbass or as its known to locals, Novorossiya. Like Crimea, Novorossiya is a traditionally Russian region, only made a part of Ukraine unilaterally by Lenin in 1921, in order to create a buffer zone between Moscow and the US backed Czarist death squads of Galicia, in the wake of the White Terror. And like Crimea the hardworking miners and factory workers of industrial Novorossiya never considered themselves Ukrainian to begin with. So when they found themselves under the yolk of a foreign backed, anti-Russian junta they took to the fucking streets and demanded a referendum on independence only to find themselves staring down the barrels of Kiev's tanks, sent by the junta to suppress the peoples will. But those Nazi fucks underestimated the Novorossiyans, a hard scrabble, twin fisted, working class people who had already survived the scourge of Hitler and his bitch boy Bandera and weren't about to take another fucking Reich sitting down.

The streets of Donetsk and Luhansk exploded with the righteous fury of an oppressed people scorned. Unlike Maiden, this was no fucking flash mob. Don't dare believe the shit the presstitutes have fed you. These people were not Russians. They were Novorossiyans and after years of taking Kiev's bullshit they had finally found there voice and they weren't alone. Novorossiyans and other ethnic Russians serving in Ukraine's military and police forces throughout the nation suddenly found themselves serving under the tutelage of poorly trained, snot nosed skinheads who viewed them and there families as little more then parasites. So they left there posts but kept there guns and returned home to the east to defend there homes and people from the inevitable fascist onslaught. They were also joined by friends and family from the border region of Russia, who were terrified of the prospect of Nazi's, once again at there borders. Yes, a handful of them were indeed Russian soldiers, on leave and acting on there own volition, not to lead but to serve under there Novorossiyan cousins.

Well armed and trained, largely by the Ukrainian army who betrayed there democracy, these people came together and united beneath the flags of there ancestors, who had fought for the same land themselves, so many decades ago. Like there ancestors, these new partisans got organized, formed militias and replenished there arsenals with weaponry and vehicles taken from nearby armories, bases and police stations, much of which was already abandoned by fleeing Kiev loyalists, once they realized they were outnumbered.

These are the big, bad rebels the Pentagon and NATO are always blubbering hysterically about. A makeshift confederation of Slavic rust belt peasants. Poor people fighting for what little land they have left. Some of them want independence. Some of them want to rejoin Russia but most of them originally wanted nothing more than the federal autonomy afforded to the ethnic republics of neighboring Russia. They tried doing things peacefully but were met with fucking tanks, Tiananmen style. As one flawed cold warrior once mused, "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible make violent revolution inevitable".

Washington's sock puppets in Kiev wanted a fucking war and they got one, only they got far more then they bargained for. Those Slavic rust belt peasants, it turned out, could fucking fight and with the Ukrainian armies best soldiers joining these peasants back home in Novorossiya, the junta was left with little more then the pock marked, soccer hooligans of Right Sector, who weren't so fucking bad outside there cozy snipers nests. One thing any punk can tell you is that skinheads cant fight worth shit unless they have there victims surrounded and outnumbered. When faced with a real fucking fight, there asses turn to jello like that (Snap fingers with sass here) and one thing any Nazi German could tell you, if the dead could fucking talk, is that Russians can fucking fight. So it didn't take long for the so called rebels to make serious gains in taking back there territory.

When faced with a war they couldn't win fairly, the neo-Nazis and there handlers resorted to the time honored tradition of lies and propaganda. Every time the rebels made another gain, the State Department told another lie and there loyal presstitutes took that lie and did what presstitutes do best, swallow. Lie after lie, they gulped down and spit back out into there hungry audiences gaping mouths like a stomach shaken cocktail of undeniable fact. There favorite lie of course is that tired old standard of THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING! THE RUSSIAN ARE COMING! The Russians are arming the rebels! The Russians are training the rebels! The Russians ARE the rebels! All fucking bullshit. All provided with zero irrefutable evidence, only hacked Twitter accounts and blurry, undated pictures and the media whores ate it all without asking once what they were putting in there mouths. Pretty soon the lies became so ludicrous that even the juntas allies in German intelligence began to deny these embarrassingly outrageous tall tales but that didn't stop Germany and every other spineless western nation from sacking Russia with sanctions for a war Moscow consistently attempted to broker a peaceful end to.

Far from being the cartoonishly ferocious, Stalinist conqueror the media dutifully portray him as, Vladimir Putin, in reality, is just another feckless bureaucrat attempting to prevent a NATO take over of his next door neighbor and going out of his way to avoid using force to do so but the lies kept on coming and then came the grandest and most gruesome lie of them all.

On July 17, 2014, Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 was shot down over a hotly contested area of Eastern Ukraine, killing all 298 people on board. Once again the White House, the junta and there devoted presstitutes didn't wait for the charred remains of the innocent to stop smoldering before pinning the blame on the rebels and, of course, Russia itself, parading out it's usual cavalcade of grainy photos and social media nonsense but the strangest thing happened once NATO finally got its hands on MH17's rebel guarded black box. Everyone shut up. Kiev, Washington, the EU, SILENCE. All there near operatic cries for international investigation ceased immediately, without explanation and the press, who for weeks could talk about nothing else, 24/7, but Russia's evil shadow leering over the wreckage SIMPLY  STOPPED  TALKING....    ....SILENCE.

Then some very strange facts began to surface. It turns out the US had a telescopic satellite above the crash site at the time of the shoot down but, despite frequent Russian requests, refused to release there footage. The Ukrainian junta also refused to release the air traffic communications with MH17, despite the fact that the plane had veered miles off course over a known war zone without explanation and of coarse contents of the black box remained a secret. Something was up, but what.

America and there latest fascist rump state may have had there normally yammering traps sealed shut but Russia wasn't keeping quiet. They held a press conference in which they released there own telescopic satellite imagery, showing a Ukrainian fighter jet in hot pursuit of MH17 just before the crash. The American media didn't respond. In fact they didn't even cover the conference. If its just bullshit then why not prove it? But nope, nothing, TOTAL BLACKOUT.

The Russian accusations make sense when you look at the facts. The amount of precision it would take to shoot a jet of that size down at that altitude would make mistaking it for anything but a commercial airliner next to impossible. Even NATO has admitted this in an attempt to further demonize the rebels. Only what possible motive could the rebels have to commit such a deliberate and senseless act of violence? They were winning the goddamn war for Christ's sake. They had the Nazi's on the fucking ropes, in spite of near universal international condemnation of there basic right to defend there land. Why would they further jeopardize there hard fought gains and already dwindling international standing by purposely shooting down a clearly civilian airliner? It makes absolutely zero goddamn sense. And Russia, assuming you believe the NATO sponsored propaganda of there presence in Novorossiya, had even less motive to commit such a senseless crime. Which leaves only the neo-Nazi Ukrainians, who were getting there fucking asses hammered into the goddamn dirt and were literally begging for the western aid a false flag attack of this nature would and did guarantee them and of coarse the war whores in the media were more then happy to jump all over another opportunity to flog there favorite whipping boy, Putin.  You do the fucking math. All the politicians and there symbiotic butt slaves in the media sewer have already made up there minds. Fuck the evidence! Who needs it when lies sell like crack. Anytime MH17 is actually mentioned anymore, usually only in passing, its to very matter of factually accuse Russia of the crime as if its already been proven.

But that's not all folks! As if the lies of MH17 weren't enough to make your fucking head explode Scanners style, there's the great invisible Russian invasion of 2014/15. After being pushed to the brink of extermination by an onslaught of missiles and mortar fire, much of which cowardly directed at there families in heavily populated, civilian areas, the rebels found there second wind and made many inroads in liberating Southern Novorossiya, making a direct link to there still surrounded comrades in Crimea a real possibility. Once again, Washington and Kiev loudly blamed Russia for there failings, this time going so far as to accuse Putin of a full blown invasion, complete with tanks and armored vehicles and thousands of Russian soldiers. There proof for this outrageous claim, a single satellite image showing a battalion of unmarked vehicles, the kind commonly used by both Russian and Ukrainian armies in an undisclosed location with zero landmarks to prove the nature of the location. It could have been anywhere, Russia, Ukraine, Zanzibar! and that was it, nothing else. A massive force of thousands of foreign invaders, armed to the fucking teeth in a modern European country full of camera phones and hand held devices and not a single picture, not a single fucking snapshot was taken by anyone on the ground of these fucking bastards. NOT ONE!!! Apparently that evil mastermind Doctor Putin had cooked up the formula for a top secret invisible army. You can just see that sly, Slavic fox now, laughing maniacally, HOO-HAH-HAH!!!, as he pets a fluffy white cat with a single pinky raised to his pursed lips. Goddammit, Vlad the Magician, you did it again! You sneeky butthole you! MORE SANCTIONS!!!

All the lies in the world couldn't save America from a fact it should have learned generations ago. You cant suppress a peoples will to be free. It failed in Vietnam and it failed again in Novorossiya. After months of ferocious warfare, the embattled people of Donbass declared independence via popular referendum, becoming the Donetsk Peoples Republic. Strapped with layers of crippling sanctions for crimes they didn't commit, Russia, sadly, cowardly joined the rest of the so called international community by refusing to even recognize the new state. Apparently, somewhere between Crimea and Donetsk, Putin lost his fucking balls. Banderist Ukraine held its own elections, unsurprisingly making a total mockery of the institution, banning the countries two largest opposition parties, the Communists and and the exiled Yanukovych's Party of Regions and suppressing eastern access to the ballot boxes. Good old Yats kept his job as PM. Many "reformed" members of Svoboda hopped over to more PC, so called moderate parties, while still maintaining there racist values and scored choice spots in the new parliament and a notoriously corrupt chocolate magnate named Petro Poroshenko ( Think Willy Wonka, only with African wage slaves instead of oompa loompa's) became the first President of American Banderastan and doves were everywhere and flowers bloomed and all the western puppeteers and media whores were balling there fucking asses off at this vile anti-democratic minstrel show that there filthy fucking lies and filthier fucking money made possible. There little Nazi Pinocchio was a real boy now!

But this mask of democracy couldn't save Banderastan from the righteous, Old Testament style ass whooping that the Donetsk Peoples Republic was all to willing to serve up to there goose stepping former countrymen. Finally these aforementioned asses broke and begged for a truce. Against the wishes of his State Department handlers and skinhead shock troops, The new chocolate king joined Russia, France and an Increasingly fed up Germany at the peace table in Minsk, with his tail between his legs and agreed to the first in a series of ceasefires that seem to have finally stuck in spite of Right Sectors continued efforts to sabotage it by provoking Novorossiya on the border.

NATO's war with Russia, however, has continued unabated and even escalated, with a seemingly endless onslaught of sanctions, currency manipulation and scariest of all increasingly aggressive and provocative war games on Russia's borders, daring Putin, like a schoolyard bully, to make the next move, launch the "first strike" and give us our Slavic Gulf of Tonkin so we can finally begin the Third World War, but why? Why risk a goddamn nuclear holocaust, all for a chunk of toxic real estate that will always mean more to Russia then it does to us?

The startling answer to these questions I believe can be answered by exploring the philosophies of two of Washington's most influential post-Cold War insiders who have also served as two of the Obama administrations closest advisers, former National Security Adviser to President Jimmy Carter, Zbigniew Brzezinski and Project for the New American Century co-founder and neocon gadfly, Robert Kagan (Victoria Nuland's aforementioned husband), both of these powerful men support the dangerous idea of America as the worlds singular super power, a sort of idealized benevolent neoliberal empire, a new world order. Both of these men have slightly different ideas about how to achieve this goal but both agree, quite openly, that the number one obstacle to Americas quest for global primacy remains Russia, namely for there unique geographic position as a land bridge between Asia and Europe. Integration between these two continents, in the eyes of Brzezinski and Kagan, would mean an end to the vaunted American Century and the beginning of the new Eurasian Century, pushing the United States into a position of second place in a new multi polar world order which would ultimately redistribute power more equally across the globe. The only way to prevent this nightmare of global equality, Brzezinski and Kagan tell us, is to encircle and ultimately dismantle Russia and over the last couple decades that's precisely what America has done using the twin barrels of NATO and the National Endowment for Democracy.

In 1989, President George H.W. Bush made a fateful promise to Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev. Let the Berlin Wall fall and Germany reunify under West German power and NATO, an organization allegedly established to prevent the expanse of Communism in Europe, would not expand a single inch eastward toward Moscow. Gorbachev naively agreed. The wall fell and it took the US less then a decade to break its promise.

It all began with the American funded disintegration of Yugoslavia, Russia's closest post-Cold War Allie, culminating in the NATO bombing of Kosovo in 1999, that same year NATO engulfed Hungary, Poland and the Czech Republic in one single gulp. The next year began the first of a long line of so called Color Revolutions, Highly coordinated, NED funded "uprisings" designed to appear totally random. First up was the Bulldozer Revolution in the recently obliterated Yugoslavia in 2000, which, in many ways served as the final death nail of modern Yugoslavia's founding father, Marshal Tito's dream of a united multi-ethnic Socialist republic, leaving nothing but a shattered cluster fuck of western dependent ethno-states in its wake. Next came the 2003 Rose Revolution in Georgia. Then in 2004 Ukraine was rocked with the Orange Revolution, which, ironically, first brought Viktor Yanukovych, always the opportunist, to power in Kiev. That same year Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia and Slovenia all joined NATO, bringing America's growing empire right to Russia's doorstep. Then, in 2005, Kyrgyzstan was hit by the Tulip Revolution, bringing another corrupt, anti-Russian regime to power in the former Soviet Union and the year after that came the failed 2006 Jean Revolution in Belarus and so the noose tightened.

At a 2008 NATO summit in Bucharest, the US vocalized its support for inviting both Georgia and Ukraine into the Alliance. A month later the EU concurred. Later that same year Georgia made the unprecedented move of illegally invading the sovereign, ethnic Russian oblast of South Ossetia, provoking a Russian intervention to end Georgia's reckless slaughter of Russian civilians. Russia also took the drastic but necessary step of liberating the long oppressed border nation of Abkazia, in order to prevent similar bloodshed. The US feigned outrage but they got exactly what they wanted. They had finally succeeded in provoking a violent reaction out of Russia in order to demonize the federation and further convince its neighbors that only NATO could save them. The next step was Ukraine and the rampage continues to this day.

You see, Russia is not the problem. Russia has never been the fucking problem. Big bad Putin isn't putting fucking army bases in Mexico. Moscow isn't forking over millions to fund pro-Russian candidates in Jamaica or the Bahamas. No, Russia isn't the fucking problem, the United Empire of America and there protection racket NATO are the fucking problem. The Cold War didn't end it just got colder before it got hot.

And through out all this bloodshed and conquest, the western media has been complicit, if not with its shameless propaganda then with its silence. The so called fifth estate has shamed itself repeatedly by taking its marching orders directly from the Pentagon, never asking questions, trading its dignity for access and demonizing anyone who dares to question the sanity of undying allegiance to the American Empire with childish cat calls of traitor and Putin lover. The result? A first world democracy with a population less informed then most banana republics.

Let me make it abundantly clear to all you brainwashed motherfuckers out there in motherfuckerland. I am by no means a traitor and I'm shore as shit no fucking Putin lover. As I said before, I could give a shit about Putin. In fact I have more then a few bones to pick with the steely eyed bastard, myself. Frankly, I find his treatment of Chechnya and the LGBT community to be nothing short of abhorrent. But I didn't right this post for Putin. I wrote this post for the proud people of Crimea and Novorossiya, who I do support, unequivocally for the same reason I support the people of Chiapas, Abkazia, Palestine, Kurdistan, Tamil, and Chechnya. Because they are fighting for there freedom and there people and there dignity, just as this nation once did, so many years ago. I only just wish those traitors in Washington could remember that. Maybe another revolution would remind them. shit, who the fuck am I kidding, I can barely leave my house but a hermit can dream, a hermit can dream....

Twenty-Seven

Well, dearest motherfuckers, this last week has been a bit of a fucking roller coaster ride for your favorite shut in muckraker. First there was my twenty-seventh birthday which had me a little blue at first. If you find yourself asking "what the fuck are you bitching about" then you've never dealt with depression and I kindly suggest you go fuck yourself with something sharp and rusty.

Along with the usual dreary thoughts of getting older and lurching another step closer to the grave, I also found myself preoccupied with the uncomfortable fact that my personal hero, Kurt Cobain, shuffled off this mortal coil at the age of twenty-seven. The ugly way he chose to leave this world aside, everything Kurt ever was and ever did was done by this age. Leading Nirvana, who I believe were the greatest rock and roll band since the Stones burned out and became a parody of there former selves. Creating Nevermind and In Utero, what I believe to be two of the three greatest albums of the last few generations along with Hole's Live Through This(by Kurt's widow Courtney). Not to mention the mini cultural revolution he almost inadvertently ignited that brought punk rock back to the forefront of relevance, where it fucking belongs and Kurt achieved all of this and more while suffering with chronic pain and mental illness that makes my own woes look downright trivial by comparison and what the fuck have I done with my twenty-seven miserable years but suffer, exist and bitch, bitch, bitch. No job, no car, no wine, no women, no wonder its dark.

So, yeah, I started this week feeling pretty fucking down but then the unbelievable occurred, in Washington of all places, that pulled my fat, bellyaching ass back up.

Just in case you live in a fucking ditch, I'll fill you in. The Supreme Court blew the dust from there lazy asses and did something right for a fucking change by striking down the last section standing of Bill Clinton's disgustingly hateful Defense of Marriage Act, making gay marriage legal in all fifty fucking states, from Florida to Alaska, from North Dakota to Texas, FUCKING TEXAS! If your gay you can marry the one you love in fucking Denton, Texas! Bigots be damned.

Needless to say this victory was a long, long, long time in the making for the LGBT community. Over forty years, nearly half a fucking century of tireless, thankless struggle, from the uprisings of Stonewall to the court house steps, just to be recognized as equal and nothing more and a lot of people didn't make it. So many wonderful, beautiful people, unsung heroes lost along the way to disease, indifference and outright hate. This victory was for all of them and all of us too including breeders like myself. For everyone who's ever been picked on, stepped on, left out and told they don't belong, we ALL fucking won this week. This week we are all queer and we are all fucking beautiful.

So what if I've lived twenty-seven years without doing a goddamn thing. The gay rights movement had to wait forty-six just to fucking live, I can wait a few more without beating myself up about it. At the end of the day the best we can do is fight for a future and if we fail let us fail with honor, pride and dignity and let these brave failures give others the strength to succeed so we never fail in vain.

I only wish Kurt could be here to see the sun rise. I think even he would agree it was worth the wait.

Stay beautiful, dearest motherfuckers, stay beautiful.

Jesus Christ, Iggy Pop & Karl Marx

Bless me father for I have sinned. It has been, shit, well over a decade since my last confession. In that time I have sworn profusely, violated myself sexually, gleefully engaged in acts of wanton sacrilege and rebelled against pretty much everything imaginable and to be completely honest I have no plans to give up any of this shit in the near future. I have also lost my mind and my faith and managed to gain the latter back to some degree from some pretty fucking strange places. Lets just say I found more then one prophet, though there both Jewish heretics with bitch'n beards....

Maybe I should just start again at the beginning.

I was born and raised in a relatively conventional, reasonably conservative, mostly Irish Catholic family and in the beginning everything went pretty smoothly. God made sense and so did his rules, more or less. I excepted the Bibles absurdities with the unblinking devotion of a dewy eyed babe in arms. Catholic school wasn't always fun but at least on some level it made sense. Do on to others and all that noise. But somewhere around eleven or twelve things became more complicated. The rules still made sense but it became abundantly clear that those enforcing them held themselves to a different standard if they held themselves to ant standard at all. My teachers and priests used the Bible like a bludgeon towards anyone who didn't fit in to there little cookie cutter, parochial utopia, myself included. I dress in all black and suddenly I'm an infidel. I speak my mind or god forbid ask a question and I'm a heretic. I question my sexuality in a moment of teenage doubt and I'm fucking firewood. Meanwhile these figures I once trusted practiced hypocrisy like a competitive sport. Bearing false witness against there neighbors with reckless abandon and gleefully cheering on senseless war and capitol punishment while loudly proclaiming themselves pro life and pissing on anyone who so much as brings up the complications of rape and rusty hangers. Suddenly Jesus' table didn't seem to have a place for me or any of the other misfit toys. I found myself rudderless, lost in a deep dark sea of doubt and resentment. I had no more patience for god or his Bible thumping lunatics. So I lapsed and hit the proverbial pavement in search of something else to believe in. Some place where freaks like me belong.

After some soul searching and trial and error, I discovered the majestic fury of punk rock music but it was more then just music to me. It was salvation. From the moment I heard Iggy Pop snarl " I am the worlds forgotten boy" I was hooked for life. Finally, I had found a place where I didn't have to hide who I was, a place for the freaks, the geeks, the queers and the sluts. Not only did we belong but we were celebrated, not in spite of our transgressions but because of them. But there was still something missing. I found my church but I still needed a creed, a jihad, a crusade, something to fight for, something to believe in.

My search for something righteous to smash my fists against began with punk rock heroes like Joe Strummer and Jello Biafra, who turned me on to the wonderful world of left wing radicalism. After flirting for a while with anarchism, I stumbled upon the works of Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. Something about there philosophy clicked with me. A system in which people came before profit and mercy came before greed, where the needs of the many outweigh the desires of the few. Marxism fit like a fucking glove. It made perfect sense to me. It also felt strangely familiar. That was because the teachings of Marx were nearly identical to the teachings of Christ that I grew up believing. Jesus too stood firmly against greed, gluttony, exploitation, empire and even the tyranny of organized religion. That's why the Romans and the temples decided he had to die. Like Che Guevara, Jesus shook the cage of injustice to loudly and the bastards took him out.

It hit me, Jesus was a socialist and Marxism was scientific Christianity. Not only that but Christ was something of a punk as well. He didn't give a flying fuck about the status quot. He was nothing like the sanctimonious tight wads who bandy his name about today. He didn't hang with the high and mighty. He rolled with the freaks, the geeks, the queers and the sluts. His boys were peasants and his girl was an ex prostitute and they didn't play nice with the fucking powers to be. He turned over there tables and fearlessly defied there authority. Jesus Christ was the worlds forgotten boy, the one searching to destroy or as he once put it "I came not to bring peace but with a sword". Christ didn't come to punish freaks like me. Like Marx, he came to lead us to victory against the pious dicks who spat on us. There wasn't a place at the table because my place was in the fucking mosh pit.

So here I am father, a punk, a Marxist and oddly enough in my own weird way a Christian again. I honestly don't know if I believe in god but I do believe in the righteous path, a long, winding path that leads from Christ to Marx to Iggy and hopefully to me. My sins may be many and counting but I have the better part of a lifetime to make up for them by fighting the good fight. Let that fight be my penance and let it begin on this blog.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Iggy Pop and Karl Marx, Amen.

Beware of Wolves in Doves Clothing

Do you smell that in the air? That all to familiar stench of carbon punch cards and Vaseline. It smells like election year and you know what that means. It's time to bend over, grab your ankles and vote for another plutocratic hose bag who would sooner sell your children into sex slavery then do anything resembling the right thing or you can do what I do. Hold on to your dignity and vote your conscience even if it doesn't amount to much more than a hearty fuck you to the partisan pollsters. In that case its time to pick a deliciously fringey protest candidate who represents the issues that matter most to you. Now, personally there are few things that piss me off more then the loathsome single issue voter but if there's one issue that matters most to me, one issue that can make or break my support for a candidate, it's the fatalistic issue of war and peace.

I strongly believe in my heart of hearts that the biggest threat to the world today isn't ISIS or even global warming but the wicked scourge of America's military industrial complex which has hijacked our dear republic and transformed it into an insatiable empire, hellbent on global conquest at any cost, regardless of how many dollars or dead soldiers it takes. Never in the history of mankind have we witnessed a beast more bloated or blood thirsty then the american war machine. With more then a thousand military installations in over one hundred countries and counting, on every fucking continent on earth, the United States spends more per capita on "defense" then China, Russia, India and Pakistan combined, nearly half of all military spending worldwide at a price tag of over one trillion dollars a year! That's trillion with a motherfucking T!! A FUCKING YEAR!!!! All to wage an endless fucking war on country after country after country, Korea, Vietnam, Lebanon, Grenada(Grenada?!)Grenada, Panama, Iraq, Somalia, Kosovo, Afghanistan, Iraq again, Libya, Syria, Ukraine, Iraq again! And now China and Russia with no end in sight and for what? What have we gained from this epic, never ending holocaust? A tower of crippling debt and an ocean of grave stones stretching from the concrete shores of Arlington to the gates of the Pentagon, not to mention a planet full of mortal enemies desperate to avenge the families and nations we callously robbed them of in our ego maniacal quest for manifest destiny. So, with that being said, if I'm gonna vote for somebody, anybody, they damn sure as holy fuck better be anti-war. Which is why I find myself in such a pickle this election season because even the  supposedly anti-war candidates on the fringes don't really seem anti-war anymore. I'll show you what I mean with two glaring, upsetting examples.

First up is Vermont senator, Bernie Sanders, gunning for Killary's spot as the Democratic nominee. Every single fiber of my fucking being want's to embrace this gnarly old bastard with open arms. His grouchy, zero bullshit demeanor, His weird fetish for all things Scandinavian, even his abject refusal to even buy a fucking comb, I love all of it. This is a registered independent(though he caucuses Democrat) with the cojones to proudly proclaim himself a democratic socialist while other pussies hide behind the word progressive like scared rabbits. This is a motherfucker who voted against both gulf wars as well as both NAFTA and CAFTA. So why cant I warm up to this ornery, curmudgeonly, old New Englander? Has fat, old, commie pinko pants here finally snapped and gone jaded? Nope, not yet anyway. I just know a little too much about old Bernie's spotty record.

On the surface Senator Sanders looks perfectly righteous. On fiscal and social matters he legitimately is. Sadly, on the tell tale issue of war and peace, not so much.

Bernie voted against the Iraq War in 2003. This much is true but after this very public protest vote that pleased the stalwart pacifists back home, the good senator then very quietly joined the rest of his colleagues in voting, repeatedly, to continue to fund and fuel that totally illegal war for the better part of the next wretched decade, sending scores of America's finest to die for what Bernie openly admitted was a despicable lie. Those soldiers lucky enough(or unlucky enough) to come home alive were sent back again and again and again until there was no piece of them left to give to there ungrateful nation but hey, Bernie had to be a team player and compromising is what American politics is all about, right?

This seems to have become a disturbing pattern with Bernie and many other so called progressive Democrats(including former senator Obama). You can vote against the initial bill to save face with your left leaning constituency but you sure as shit better vote to fund the goddamn thing and that's precisely what good old lefty Bernie did and not just with Iraq but the establishment of the crypto-fascist Department of Homeland Security as well, which he similarly took an initial stand against only to vote, repeatedly, with the rest of the Dems to finance but I guess that's the price you pay to eat lunch with the cool kids on Capitol Hill.

Bernie also voted with the majority again on the deceptively named Iran Freedom Act which sent millions of our tax dollars to fund "pro freedom" terrorist organizations in there bloody war against the unforgivable Islamic Revolution. "Freedom fighters" like the bloodthirsty, Al Qaeda linked Jundallah, who made a name for themselves by slaughtering scores of civilian Shia infidels. Or the creepy, pseudo-Marxist cult, Mujahideen-e-Khalq, a heinous horde of violently reactionary opportunists, who's profile reads like a perverse cross between ISIS, Blackwater and the Lerouche movement. Like there comrades in arms Jundallah, the MEK are designated terrorists or at least they were before Madame Secretary Killary Clinton decided, in her infinite wisdom, to have these good freedom fighters removed from Uncle Sam's shitlist, despite the fact that there long list of victims included American soldiers, but not before fuckheads like Bernie Sanders saw it fit to send them a treasure trove of American dollars to buy new bombs with. Good looking out there, Peace nick! Why not throw the Manson family a bone while your working on that Nobel Prize.

I also find it hard to forget about Bernie's passionate, full throated support of then President Bill Clinton's ruthless and cowardly assault on Yugoslavia, the last truly socialist nation left in Europe, all based on a despicably fabricated genocide. In fact so passionate was Bernie's support for the NATO sacking of Kosovo that when his own constituents came out in droves to his Burlington office to protest America's latest adventure in nation smashing, the former veteran of the antiwar movement of the sixties pulled a fucking Humphrey and sicked the cops on them.

I could go on and on like this about the senators support for absurdly unleftist projects like the Pentagon's installation of the locally unpopular F-35 fighter jets in Vermont or his undying loyalty to the apartheid state of Israel, even during there latest genocidal carpet bombing of Gaza, but I think you get the point. Far from being our social democratic savior sent to save us from the billion dollar juggernaut of Madame Killary, Senator Sanders appears to be just another devoted servant of spineless post McGovern neoliberalism, when push comes to shove. Maybe old Bernie was the real deal Hollifield, once upon a time but he's clearly cashed his street cred in for a position as the DNC's pseudo socialist, gerbil faced mascot attempting to convince "jaded" lefties like myself that the Democrats are still the cool party. To that come on, I say no fucking thank you.

A quick confession: I myself humbly regret to inform you, dearest motherfuckers, that I, Nicholas Adam Reid, confirmed Marxist and sometimes anarchist, am a member of the Democratic Party. I switched over from the Green Party in 2008 to vote for a real maverick pacifist named Dennis Kucinich but the brilliant little bastard dropped out of the race just before the Pennsylvania primary, so I ended up voting for Nader anyway(no regrets). The only reason why I remained a member of a party that I frankly despise is the shallow hope that another brave, left wing populist like Kucinich will make another quixotic go at the top spot. Which is precisely why it fucking burns me when goddamn posers like Bernie butthole Sanders jump in and jack the fringe vote. But this kind of sleazy behavior isn't relegated to the Dems alone. This year it affects the Grand Old Party as well.

I may be a hardcore leftist but above all else I am an anti-imperialist and believe it or not the Republican Party has its own proud if often forgotten history of anti-imperialism, usually tarred with the derogatory label of isolationism, as if putting your country first is some kind of hermetic disease. This proud tradition has recently seen a stunning revival thanks largely to the hard work of one spunky, little, Pittsburgh born gynecologist turned Texas congressman named Ron Paul. I'll never forget the first time I saw this crazy bastard on CNN in 2008, during a Republican primary debate. This virtually unknown old motherfucker came out of nowhere and fucking bitch smacked ex New York City mayor and professional 911 revivalist, Rudy Giuliani by informing the former Fuhrer of 42nd Street that the hyper interventionist foreign policy that neocons like him so relish, indirectly lead to the very tragedy he built his putrid, self serving career on pimping out. I thought Noam Chomsky had crashed the fucking party but it was all Ron Paul, all 90 pounds of the little motherfucker, rearing to take on the whole derelict Republican establishment by himself if he had to but he didn't. Ron Paul didn't stand alone. Ron Paul had a fucking posse. A devoted following of young, well informed libertarians, many of them veterans, fresh from the twin hell holes of Iraq and Afghanistan, more then ready to join Doctor Paul in his quest to take their party back from the barbarians who hijacked it during the heat of the Cold War. I didn't agree with Paul and his posse on every issue but goddammit if I didn't respect there dedication to the principle of non interventionism. So much so that when it looked like Ron Paul actually had a shot at the nomination in 2012, I, Nicholas Adam Reid, confirmed Marxist and sometimes anarchist, actually considered going fucking Republican, in hopes of demolishing the military industrial complex, once and for all. I didn't fucking do it, mind you but I had my finger on the fucking trigger for a second there. If that's not cross over appeal then I don't know what the fuck is.

Needless to say, I was more than a little bummed to see the mighty little congressman go when he decided to retire from politics in 2013, but I had high hopes for his son, Rand Paul, when he was elected to the Senate in 2010 and initially the Kentucky Senator didn't disappoint. Rand took ballsy and decidedly unconventional stands against everything from Killary's war in Libya(read "Ready for Killary" below) to Americas increasingly Orwellian police state. He even brought back the real filibuster, taking a stand against Obama's ultra violent and constitutionally questionable drone war, holding the floor for nearly thirteen hours, all while maintaining the too cool for school, Ray Ban wearing, go fuck yourself attitude of a John Hughes, Brat Pack antihero. Everything about the new senator seemed to be a refreshing fuck you to politics as usual. Once again, much like Bernie Sanders, I was very much tempted to like this motherfucker. But a very strange thing happened when Rand began running for president. He became a politician.

It all started with a bizarrely timed trip to the holy land, that indispensable apartheid state on the hill, career politicians love to bow too in hopes of scoring a taste of that sweet, sweet Israel lobby cash and Rand the libertarian wunderkind decided he was no exception to the rule. He even took the trip with the infamously despicable American Family Association, a gross cabal of fundamentalist, Christian Zionist, homophobes, rightfully designated a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. While there the senator made a point of very publicly abandoning that sacred libertarian sacrament of property rights by defending Israels right to continue there ruthless ethnic cleansing of Jerusalem and the Golan Heights. All of this tell tale treachery coincided closely with Rand's equally public flip flop on his previously held position in support of cutting funds to Israel while maintaining his support for similar cuts to Muslim countries like Egypt and Pakistan, not to mention his not so private meetings with billionaire, ultra Zionist, war junkie Sheldon Adelson. And shit somehow just got worse from there.

Senator Rand continued to flex his election season war muscles by endorsing the feckless bombing of ISIS and further fueling the fires of sectarian war in Iraq by supporting the arming of the corrupt Kurdish gangsters in the Barzani clan. He also continued to kiss up to the jackals in the Israel lobby by pushing offensively cruel legislation to cut off desperately needed aid to the starving children of Palestine and blasted the Palestinian Authorities attempts to join the International Criminal Court but the once proud Rand wasn't done dancing for his supper yet.

The icing on the fucking cake came when Rand Paul, A man who had once bravely stood alone in the GOP, supporting Obama's attempts at peaceful diplomacy with Iran, made the decision to sign Zionist lap dog senator, Tom Cotton's threatening and racist letter to Tehran, along with 47 other quisling senators, in a cowardly and downright treasonous attempt to chuck a fucking wrench in the finally grinding gears of peace. It then became excruciatingly clear that Rand Paul was not his fathers son. Rand Paul was a politician.

Once again, sadly, I could go on and on like this, about the young senators support for absurdly unlibertarian projects like increasing Americas already morbidly bloated defense budget or his nauseatingly chummy relationship with hate mongering neo-crusader Glenn Beck, laying down support and much needed credibility to the Beckstards ludicrously Islamaphobic conspiracy theories about international caliphates and creeping sharia law but I think you get the point. Far from being the millennial approved reincarnation of his fearless father, sent to save us from the dreaded revival of the Bush oligarchy, the new Senator Paul is sadly just another servant of pitiless, post Goldwater neoconservatism, when push comes to shove. Maybe Rand's still got a little fight left in him. After all he did help sabotage the extension of Section 215 of the Patriot Act, even if it was just a crass publicity stunt to raise campaign dollars but, unfortunately, it's probably far more likely that he will continue to sell out his largely inherited street cred in hopes of becoming the poster boy for post conservative Republican hipsterism, trying desperately to convince "jaded" libertarians that the grand old party aint so old after all, even if it comes at the expense of its grandness, once again I say no fucking thank you.

So what do we make of these inconvenient truths? I, personally, have come to the rather ugly conclusion that both major parties have become so irredeemably corrupted by the influence of the war machine that even there so called malcontents have become stooges of corpratist blood lust. Lets put it this way, you wouldn't look for Robin Hood in the fucking Gambino Family, so don't go looking for mavericks in Washington's two bloodiest crime families. Your best bet is looking to the third parties and if all else fails there's always that old stand by revolution, I mean, shit, it worked for Jefferson and Gandhi. Regardless, I'm registering as an Independent, the first chance I get.

Fuck parties! And you can quote my fat, commie, pinko ass on that.

Zero Dark Bullshit

Well dearest motherfuckers, he's done it again. That splendid, glorious bastard Seymour Hersh, the Pullitzer Prize winning truth jihadist who brought you Abu Graib and the My Lai massacre has ripped the scab off yet another American fairy tale, exposing the putrid viscera of harsh reality to all you sheltered sheeple out there in motherfuckerland. This time the lie exposed, via a scathing article in the London Review of Books, is none other then the long cherished fable of America's victorious slaughter of the evil 911 mastermind, Osama Bin Laden.

In hindsight the "official" story reads like the stuff of Camelot.

After torturing there way down a long trail of mysterious couriers leading from Kabul to Abbottabad, the heroic agents of the Central "Intelligence" Agency tracked down the dastardly Bin Laden, naturally living high off the hog in a plush Pakistani fortress in the burbs of Islamabad and sent in two helicopter loads of hearty, farm raised American heroes, real life G.I. Joe's known as Navy Seal Team 6. After a crash landing, these big dick swinging titans of men shot there way into the Devils palace, killing a few well armed demons in the process. After the customary Hollywood shootout, they found there way to Satan's lair and took Bin Laden down with a double tap to the dome before the still spry super villain could reach his nearby A.K. and then they were off like a hot fart in the wind, freshly killed corpse in toe, leaving the outraged Pakistani's none the wiser. The rest, as they say, is history.

Almost sounds too good to be true, right? Well that's because it is.

After carefully checking with the sources he's cultivated over the decades in both the American and Pakistani intelligence communities, Mr. Hersh managed to expose a far less cinematic narrative. Which is probably as close to the uncensored truth as will ever get.

The true story begins about a year before the raid in Abbottabad, after a senior Pakistani intelligence officer walked into the U.S. embassy in Islamabad, looking for C.I.A. station chief Jonathan Bank, with a story to tell and what a fucking story it was for he knew the whereabouts of the terrorist boogie man himself, Osama Bin Laden and he was willing to squeal for a price. Upon assuring our good rat of his safety and awaiting riches, the veteran Pakistani spook went ahead and painted a vivid and hideous picture with his own spew.

Upon escaping George Dubya's withering, half hearted barrage at Bora Bora, Mr. Bin laden found his way to Pakistan, where he was captured in 2006 by the I.S.I., Islamabad's answer to the C.I.A.. Pakistan quickly came to the decision that Bin Laden was more useful to them strategically then the yank's $25 million finders fee. So they kept the Terrorist mastermind a secret to almost everyone so they could use Bin Laden's head to keep there own Al Qaeda/Taliban problems under control, threatening to give the old bastard up to Uncle Sam any time the shit got too rowdy on the Afghan border or anytime the Talifucks considered making a move against Islamabad.

So they put up Bin Laden up in an old crash pad in the I.S.I. vacation town of Abbottabad within swinging distance of the agencies headquarters, turning a modest mansion into a single inmate prison complete with barred windows, barbed wire and 24/7 surveillance to keep there golden goose under lock and key. The Pakistani's however didn't have to foot the bill alone. The Saudi's, Who always seem to mysteriously find there way into the loop on all things Al Qaeda, caught wind that there wayward son Osama had been nabbed by there old friends in the I.S.I.. So they offered a generous sum of cashish to Islamabad, under the condition that they keep there star prisoner a secret from the american's, who might be less then thrilled to hear from the horses mouth of the house of Saud's involvement in the attacks of September 11th.

The C.I.A. agents in Islamabad relayed this shocking information to the White House and then first term president Barack Obama was understandably skeptical. All further action was halted until the agents could scrounge up some solid proof. They decided on acquiring a DNA sample from Bin Laden but this couldn't be achieved without the help of the Pakistani's. So the agents approached the powers that be in the I.S.I. and once convinced that they were caught dead to rights they reluctantly agreed to aid the C.I.A. in there plot under two conditions. The first being that Pakistan's involvement remain a secret. They couldn't afford giving there already fed up populace another reason to resent there relationship with the great Satan and support the jihadists hell bent on there destruction. The second condition was that under no circumstance was the aging Bin Laden aloud to leave his private prison alive. He simply knew too much. The C.I.A. readily agreed, undoubtedly concerned that the veteran cold warrior might leak a secret or two of there own, lest we forget the pivotal role old Osama played as a middle man supplying man power to the agencies own little Afghan pissing match with the Soviets. Obama had zero complaints about the hit either, considering the political ramifications of capturing the Devil alive and giving him the trial of the fucking century, handing the GOP a political football that would make the KSM trial look like traffic court. With 2012 just around the corner the incumbent president couldn't afford to look like that most loathsome of creatures, the "humanitarian"( add shrieks of disgust here). Running under the banner of the bad ass motherfucker who clipped Bin Laden however would officially silence the accusations of Obama being an ivy league, limp wristed, liberal pussy. So it was decided by our own powers that be that Osama Bin Laden would die but not before the I.S.I. had one of there doctors extract a DNA sample, under the guise of an inoculation. With the president finally convinced and the I.S.I. on board a plan was hatched to snuff out the Devil himself.

It all started with a blackout. The I.S.I. shut off the power in Abbottabad and the Pakistani's cleared a flight path for the Navy Seal's helicopters. Bin Laden's guards were ordered to flee the compound the moment they heard the whir of the chopper's blades. After a rough crash landing, the Seals were guided through the darkened compound by an I.S.I. liaison. There was no resistance, there was no firefight and there would be no heroes. The Seals entered there targets pitch black bedroom, armed with night vision goggles and high powered assault rifles, only to discover a crippled, flea bitten, unarmed old man, defenseless and cowering in a corner. The Seals took aim and, in the words of one of Hersh's American sources, they "obliterated him". By the time the ruthless onslaught of gunfire had finally ended there was little left of Bin Laden but blood and guts. The great boogeyman who's ever present shadow had terrorized a generation of young Americans was reduced to little more then a fuming, bullet riddled rag doll. I'm sure there was probably a chorus of high fives and gun cocking to play him out.

Let me take a moment right here to make my own feelings crystal fucking clear. Osama Bin Laden was a cunt. I'm sorry if that word offends you, quite frankly, it offends me too but I cant think of a better word to describe a man who made a lucrative career off the suffering of innocent people, Christian and Muslim alike. However even a cunt deserves there day in court, especially when they have a fucking story to tell. With that being said, back to the story at hand.

With there target destroyed, the Seals fled the scene of the crime with little more then a couple arm fulls of tattered notebooks containing nothing of real consequence. Don't buy into the latest media hype about newly disclosed paper work from Bin Laden's lair. One glance over these documents is more then enough to convince you that there nothing more then the ramblings of a delusional old has-been at best, if not outright forgeries. Just like the fabled, epic firefight, the so called treasure trove of information confiscated from Abbottabad is simply just another White House sponsored myth. Anyway, bullshit in hand, Team 6 annihilated there crashed aircraft with concussion grenades in one last attempt to destroy any evidence of there presence at that loathsome place and hitched the next ride back to Virginia.

The initial plan agreed upon by the White House and the Pakistani's was that Washington would hold it's tongue for a week or so then announce Bin Laden's death via drone strike deep in the Hindu Kush mountains, a tall tale but a believable one, thus allowing Islamabad to feign outrage over yet another Washington over reach and save face in the embattled Islamic world. Obama however had other plans. With his head fully inflated with the bravado of a burgeoning psychopath, freshly christened in the blood of his virgin kill, our darling pacifist president decided to go rogue with out even giving the intelligence community so much as a heads up. In a matter of hours Obama's A-team hastily slapped together there own tall tale, this one tailor made for prime time popcorn munching. The story of Barack the mighty dragon slayer, wiping out the bad guys in a blaze of glory. With his trusty teleprompter fully loaded with this Schwarzenegger grade horse shit, the president broke the news on live television, strutting on stage arrogantly like a Tarantino gunslinger and mugging it up for the cameras about his bad ass act of state sanctioned slaughter. The C.I.A. and Pentagon were beside themselves with fury over this betrayal, but there hands were tied. There was nothing left for them to do but clean up the mess the president made and try to fudge the evidence to make his self serving lies ring true.

Of course the compliant American media ate this modern day fairy tale whole, hook, line and sinker without even bothering to check the "facts". After all what point is there to painstakingly put together a real story when the State Department can right one for you with all the predictable pyrotechnics of a Hollywood blockbuster. So they gorged themselves shamelessly on a buffet of salacious details and made a fucking mint off of trafficking the shit to an equally compliant American public with an orgy of special exclusives, T.V. movies, best selling books and critically acclaimed torture porn.

So I guess it should come as little surprise that these same amoral jackals with the gall to call themselves the fourth estate reacted the way they did to Seymour Hersh's work of legitimate journalistic integrity. Rather than cop to there shoddy reporting and launching there own investigations into Hersh's expose they instead decided it was easier to simply shoot the messenger. Asshole after braying asshole stepped forward to take a steaming shit on dear old Mr. Hersh's impeccable reputation, painstakingly built over decades of the kind of sweaty, white knuckled work totally alien to these loud mouth prestitutes who's only real work is done on there knees servicing the beltway insiders who give there vacant lives the illusion of purpose with candid interviews and indulgent press galas. By far the most disgusting displays of derelict denialism and outright character assassination occurred on the airwaves of MSNBC, the alleged bastion of progressive journalism. These shameless, Prius driving, Apple liberals practically gave themselves a fucking hernia, doing spine bending back flips to defend there precious, beloved, dear leader from the terrible indignities of the truth. Even after there own fact checkers back at the mothership of NBC gave hersh's piece a clear bill of health, they continued to struggle relentlessly to make the laughably absurd argument that the article was simpatico with the White Houses bullshit. I hate to use this same word twice in one post, let alone four times but, cunts, all of them, cunts.

Is this the same media my parents grew up with? Is this the same press that went to the fucking Supreme Court, defending the right to publish the Pentagon Papers? What fucking happened to these people? When did they decide to trade in there integrity for the privilege of whoring themselves out to big business and bad government? Have they no shame? If this were 1973 the calls for Obama's impeachment would be louder then his bombs. On the flip side if Watergate happened today media parasites like David Gregory would probably be calling for Woodward and Bernstien to be waterboarded and shipped off to Gitmo. When good journalists like Seymour Hersh and Glenn Greenwald are blackballed as conspiracy nuts and morally defunct despots like Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton pass for liberal lions, then you really know this countries fucked. Thank Christ for the Internet. Stay tuned dearest motherfuckers. The truth still means something here.

Confessions Of A Fat Male Feminist

I'm fat.... There I fucking said it. In fact, I'll say it again. I, Nicholas Adam Reid, am fat and I'm not talking husky, chubby, pudgy, cherubic, stout, or rubenesque. I'm talking fat with a capital ass. I wont give you my weight and measurements because quite frankly, in spite of the confessional nature of this piece, its none of your goddamn business.

I'm also a feminist. You would think these two things have nothing to do with each other and you would be wrong. You see I'm a feminist because I'm fat. Talk about a mind fuck right? Well let me break it down for you.

I could never in a million years even begin to pretend to know what its truly like to be a woman in this hyper chauvinistic society. To have to check myself in the mirror every time I leave the house after dark, not to see how I look but to ponder if this is the get up that will inspire some inch dicked psychopath to violate me inside and out and I'll never in a million years understand what its like to have the seed of just such a beast growing inside me and having to make the impossible decision whether or not to destroy that demon seed or continue to remain a hostage of my own biology in the name of an unnamed life. No, thank Christ I'll never truly understand that horror....

But I do have some idea of how it feels to be objectified for my body, for something that's not completely within my control. You see I wasn't born fat, in fact as a kid I was a skinny motherfucker, down right scrawny believe it or not, so much so that my parents even worried that I might have rickets because I was so damned emaciated. It wasn't until I started taking antidepressants for O.C.D. and depression that I really began to pack on the pounds, which isn't an unusual side effect of the drug. I found myself faced with a hard decision. Be thin and miserable or be fat and relatively happy. I chose the latter and I think I chose right but that doesn't mean its been fucking easy.

People treat you different when your fat, having spent most of my life crack head skinny this realization was more than a little jarring. Suddenly I was no longer seen as a person but a fat person. My identity was no longer up to me. Other people decided who I was, not based on my character but by the shape of my body. I could no longer eat at a restaurant or shop at a grocery store without being judged by a crowd of strangers who had my whole story all figured out the moment they saw the size of my ass. I couldn't even walk through a fucking locker room or past a construction site without feeling defiled by a cavalcade of jeering snickers and crass half whispered jokes from a posse of muscle bound knuckle draggers, drunk off each others sweaty testosterone. I also couldn't seem to turn on the news without some wispy, new age, weight Nazi blaming me for the downfall of western civilization.

Perhaps worst of all I couldn't seem to make a meaningful connection with a girl without being relegated to the infuriating purgatory of the friend zone. Apparently my flabby body made me permanently un-boyfriendable regardless of my personality. Then again I suppose my karmic taste for skinny girls betrayed me. I know, I know, I'm a fucking hypocrite, especially considering that fat women have it ten times as hard as fat men, but I am who I am. I cant change that and believe me when I tell you I've fucking tried. But is that really so criminal? Should a fat person be any more obligated to date another fat person then a black person is obligated to date within there own race? When did self segregation become a touch stone of political correctness? Anyway, off topic.... Jesus fuck balls! Where in the holy shit was?.... Oh yeah, feminism.

After suffering the humiliating indignities of teenage obesity, my discovery of feminism, through the furious majesty of Riot Grrrl bands like Bikini Kill and Hole, felt like a welcome breath of fresh air in my apnea stressed lungs. I got it. They wanted the same damn thing I wanted. To be seen as a fully actualized human being and not just a set of saggy bitch tits to gawk at. They wanted to be judged based on the quality of there character and not what they chose to put into there bodies. They wanted to be heard and not just seen and They wanted to be taken seriously. In fact they fucking demanded it and they gave me the courage to do the same.

So I'll fucking say it one more time. I, Nicholas Adam Reid, am a fat fucking feminist who also happens to have a dick. Hear me roar! And if any of you chauvinistic trolls out there in motherfuckerland feel like tossing rocks at the girls you call sluts, you best remember those rocks land in my yard too and thanks to bad ass bitches like Kathleen Hanna and Courtney Love I can throw them back like a girl, right in your fucking faces.

Stand strong ladies. As long as my fat ass has you to lean on, you don't stand alone.