America has a long and storied history of lionizing the despicable and banal, as well as an equally queasy history of demonizing the few brave iconoclasts daring enough to question the sanctity of these sacred cows, maybe the rest of the world does too but I don't live in the rest of the world so I'll leave that fight to another, perhaps browner pissed off muckraker. Americas fetish for brain dead hero worship on the other hand is definitely my fucking business and its an issue long overdue for analysis. Look no further then Americas cherished presidents, every one of whom, from slave throttling George Washington to Arab annihilating Barack Obama is guilty of Nuremberg grade war crimes. Just ask Noam Chomsky if you don't believe me. Go ahead ask him, I'll wait right here while you do....
Did you check? See I fucking told you asshole.
My point is this shit's nothing new and its fucking everywhere. I'll give you just a couple detailed examples to show you what I mean.
Example numero uno; Al Gore, you like him right, of course you do, who doesn't? Captain fucking planet, Nobel Peace Prize winning crusader against global warming, which would all be fine and lovely if it wasn't for the fact that he's a grade A fucking hypocrite. You see what you may not know about the former Vice President and probably should have been President is that he built his gargantuan family fortune, in part off ethnic cleansing, serial planet raping oil conglomerates like Occidental, which gladly slaughtered whole tribes in South America to make room for more oil wells, giving the good humanitarian Al Gore more then enough money to burn scars through the sky on his numerous private jet sets, slinging award winning movies about him saving the earth from dirty capitalist pigs like himself. There's also the pretty penny he made selling his supposedly independent TV channel Current to Al Jazeera, the official propaganda channel of one of the Persian Gulfs most charming oil sheikdoms, Qatar, who also happen to be among the top financiers of ISIS. Remember them? Not to bueno right? Well good old Al also road side saddle to slick Willy Clinton as he laid the ground work for the war that made ISIS possible, by sacking the already war battered Iraq with sanctions and bombings that left over half a million civilians dead, many of them children under five. Pissed off yet? Good that's a start.
Of course for every putrid sacred cow there's a quixotic iconoclast to buck the trend and rage righteously against the machine. In this case that tragically unsung hero is a man named Ralph Nader, an activist and attorney who's devoted more then half a century to busting his ass for consumer rights and the working class. His tireless activism has lead to countless regulations that save lives every fucking day. Do you like seat belts? Thank Nader. Clean air? Thank Nader. How about clean drinking water? You guessed it, thank Ralph fucking Nader. While Al Gore was busy sucking cock in congress Ralph Nader was busy making the world a better place and what thanks does old ralph get from you fucking slobs? What is he best known for? "Spoiling" the 2000 presidential election for none other then Al fucking Gore. As if it was Nader's fault that a handful of legit leftists couldn't stomach voting for another neoliberal parasite with a quarterback smile. As if it was Nader's fucking fault that Dubya's brother Jeb fixed Florida for him and what happens when Nader decides to run again, against another slick amoral Dempublican in 2004? The so called "alternative" left throws him under the fucking bus. An endless line of Johnny come liberal celebrities, who backed Nader in 2000 did an about face and disowned there former candidate now that he was no longer trendy. Eddie Veddar, Michael Moore, Susan Sarandon and Bill Maher all waited in line for there turn to spit on the man who devoted his life to making There's better and now that's Ralph's fucking legacy, the "spoiler", the punch line to a thousand stupid jokes on Huf-Po. What a fucking country we live in.
Of coarse this odd national pass time of ass backwards social justice doesn't end with politics. Its managed to seep into the hallowed halls of pop culture as well.
Example numero dos: None other then the undisputed queen of pop herself, Madonna. What's there to hate about good old Madge you ask? Three plus decades of platinum albums and number one hits, Madonna is well respected as a durable, genre straddling pop dynamo but much like Mr. Gore its all predicated on pure weapons grade horseshit.
Madonna spent the first half of her seemingly endless career ripping off underground gay culture and posing like she fucking invented it. She then spent the better part of the last twenty years desperately chasing trends and somehow fooling the dip shit starfuckers in the mainstream music press that she was setting them. Most amazingly she's some how earned the status of a gay icon despite her long, weird history of using lesbian pop culture figures like Sandra Bernhard and Rosie O'Donald like Sapphic publicity props and then tossing them aside like yesterdays garbage once they ceased to be useful to her career. She's also managed to successfully sell herself as a feminist despite her equally gross habit of throwing fellow female artists under that proverbial fucking bus like she did to legitimate feminist Sinead O'Connor for having the courage to sacrifice her then budding career by shredding a picture of the Pope live on SNL in protest of the Catholic Churches callous betrayal of child abuse victims in Ireland but not before the good feminist Madge ridiculed her for not fulfilling her heterosexist and chauvinistic interpretation of femininity but apparently burning crucifixes for soda pop commercials gives her the moral high ground to be a bigot, right?
On the flipside take a good look at Courtney Love's equally undeserved reputation as the terminally toxic slut despite the 'oft over looked fact that Courtney is quite possibly the most important feminist voice in rock and roll since Joan Jett. Her lyrics serve as a harrowing testament to the sheer will of a woman scorned by the deeply imbedded sexism of American culture. Courtney has survived everything, child abuse, abandonment, sexual exploitation, addiction, suicide, sexual assault all while managing to produce some of the most challenging and socially conscious music in the history of modern pop culture. So what is Courtney's reward for her hard fought achievements? She's been transformed publicly into a near universally despised pariah. Not since the days of the Salem Witch Trials has it been more socially acceptable to burn a free thinking woman at the stake and by the same fucking bastards who had her newborn daughter ripped from her arms based on nothing more then anonymous libel. The same fucking bastards who mercilessly hounded her troubled and equally brilliant husband Kurt Cobain to suicide only to blame the grieving widow for his demise, the same goddamn motherfucking bastards who worship at the feet of that disgusting phony egomaniac, Madonna who was likely one of the libelous, anonymous sources who sicked the all too compliant press on Courtney as revenge for refusing to sign onto Madge's new record label, goddamn them all!
And now that's Courtney's fucking legacy, the drug addled black widow whore who's very name cant be mentioned publicly without a generous side of sexist, vitriolic bile. Like I said goddamn them all.
So here's the point where I'm supposed to tell you the meaning of this ass scorching tirade. Here's where I'm supposed to tell you why this great country of ours has this infuriating and dizzying history of making up down and black white. Well dearest motherfuckers I'm sad to tell you I don't have the fucking answers. I know, I know, you feel cheated, well welcome to my world. I for one cant begin to comprehend why America does what it does. My best advice is choose your own heroes, don't let society choose them for you, society does a pretty shit job of that. The only thing I do know for shore is I'm way to goddamn pissed to stay quiet anymore.
So this one's for Ralph and Courtney.
Your move motherfuckers.