Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Creative Solutions for Middle East Peace

The American Empire has dug a lot of shitholes across the world but none deeper than the ones dug in the Middle East, probably because we weren't the ones who started digging them. We took over for our friends, the British, who doomed the region to a century of chaos by chopping up the Ottoman Empire with that racist drunk Winston Churchill's Sykes-Picket line. The result was an absolute clusterfuck of totally phony states jerry-rigged with little attention payed to sectarian demographics. This is the source of much of the regions turmoil.

Iraq and Syria are bubbling bathtubs of blood because the Limeys essentially locked a bunch of Shiites, Sunnis and Kurds into a single prison cell, threw them a single loaf of bread and a hammer, slammed the cell door shut and said "Good luck, motherfuckers!". Israel-Palestine was essentially the same idea only with Arabs and Jews and (slightly)more genocide. This fucked up reality has presented the universe with two colossal questions; Is peace in the Middle East even possible? And, if so, then how?

My answer to the first question is a cautiously enthusiastic yes. Peace is always possible. In the eternal words of the late, great Antonio Gramsci- "I'm a pessimist because of intelligence but an optimist because of will." And where there is a will there is a way. The answer to the second question is a little more complicated. But I figured this week I'd give it a shot. I mean, I'm a goddamn agoraphobic for fuck's sake, it's not like I've got anything else going on. I might as well take a crack at the Rubik's Cube of foreign policy. So, once again, fuck it, here we go.

I wanna start by reiterating my commitment to self-determination and anti-imperialism. The West has zero right to tell anyone in the Middle East how to operate a successful government, especially considering that we've hardly figured out that one for ourselves. Just because we fucked the Middle East up doesn't mean we can unfuck it and it certainly doesn't mean we should try. But for the sake of argument, if nothing else, I do have a few suggestions for a possible solution, specifically for the big problem states of Iraq, Syria and Israel-Palestine. It works in three steps.

Step 1: Confederate- The idea that any of these cobbled hodge-podge countries could ever be a functional singular state is pure weapons-grade lunacy. The only reason these Easy-Bake nations haven't disintegrated sooner is authoritarianism and/or apartheid, but their self-destruction was always inevitable... That is in less the major sectarian regions of these dust-land dumpster-fires are given autonomy under a united confederation. The Shia, Sunni and Kurds would be given there own permanent autonomous zones in Iraq and Syria and the Arabs and Jews would be given the same in a single Israeli-Palestinian confederation based on the traditional pre-1948 borders. This means that certain classes will have to trade their privilege for peace but the dividends will speak for them self in the long run.

Step 2: Decentralize- This process can be solidified by taking it a step further and having each village and neighborhood in the autonomous zones governed by civilian councils. The councils will select representatives for each zone's congress and the people will vote for representation in a unified national congress that will guarantee equal representation by each sectarian group. The people of each autonomous zone will also vote for a president of said zone and the confederations will be led by a council of these presidents similar to the way Switzerland is run. All of these leaders and their laws would be subject to the civilian regulations of direct democracy with the populations of each autonomous zone empowered to remove and replace laws and leaders alike by popular referendum.

Step 3; Constitutionalize- Solidify all of this reform with a binding secular constitution that grants equal rights to all the confederation's citizens regardless of race or religion. The governing of this constitution would be upheld by a lottery of civilian supreme court judges selected randomly on a yearly basis with equal representation by each population. Professional judges will be provided for council but the final decision will always be made by the civilian judges themselves.

Will this fix everything? No. Will anything? Probably not. The Middle East is a fucking wreck and no amount of social change, however revolutionary, will unwreck it. The far flung ideas of a white-trash, tranny, anarchist may ring hollow to Middle Eastern ears but it's important to note that many of these ideas are as informed by Middle Eastern iconoclasts like Muammar Gaddafi and Abdullah Ocalan as they are by western ones like Murray Bookchin and Noam Chomsky (both Jews, though). All I ask of you, dearest motherfuckers, is that you think about it and think outside of the box in general. One thing I know for sure though is that we will never see Middle East peace as long as American and European boots remain planted on that sacred soil.

Ideas not bombs, dearest motherfuckers. Increase the peace.

Peace, Love & Empathy- CH

Soundtrack; songs that influenced this post.

* Shades of Blue By Yo La Tengo
* Comfy in Nautica By Panda Bear
* Honky's Ladder By Afghan Whigs
* Everyday People By Sly & the Family Stone
* Wild Wild Life By Talking Heads
* Dreams Burn Down By Ride
* Repetition By The Fall
* Dreams By The Cranberries
* Me and Michael By MGMT
* Dream Baby Dream By Suicide

No comments:

Post a Comment