Happy 9/11, dearest motherfuckers! Crack out the white wine and punch a Saudi, it's time for America's spookiest holiday (after Columbus Day, of coarse). 9/11 means a lot of special things to a lot of special people. For rednecks it means adding a fifth Blue Lives Matter flag to your gas guzzler. For the vultures in the mass media it means hijacking your hearts with reams of exploitative snuff footage. For neocons it means a free license to murder all the people and human rights that have been on their shitlists since the Nixon years. For Iraq (and Afghanistan and Syria and Libya and....) it means clinging to survival while paying pounds of flesh for a crime they had nothing to do with. For Israel it means sitting back and jerking off while their Yankee golems in the GOP and DNC destroy the only Arab nations standing between them and the final solution to their Palestinian problem. If you're Saudi Arabia it means you quite literally got away with murder. And if you're reading this post in New York it means you lost some good people and probably aren't in the mood for my flippant gallows humor. But I am who I am.
For me, being the paranoid drag queen that I am, it means that million dollar question; Was 9/11 an inside job? I used to think so, now I'm not so sure. I could go on for miles and miles and miles on the why's that make up my post-Truther agnosticism. But I'll save us all some time and cut to the fucking chase; It's just not necessary. I have zero doubt that gutless sociopaths like Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are more than willing to kill a million innocents to get the wars and Orwellian laws they crave. But why bother with drones and missiles and controlled demolition when all you really have to do is look the other way and let the people you've devoted your adult life to pissing on get in a free shot? Hell, it worked for FDR. Why over-complicate things? After half a century of tormenting the Middle East with coup-de-tats, warlords, bombs and genocidal sanctions, the US has no shortage of homicidal motherfuckers looking to get even. All the neocons really needed were a few people in the right places to ignore all the warning signs and tell the security state to stand down.
Everyone had warned the Bush administration that there old buddy Osama Bin Laden was planning another attack on the Twin Towers and I mean everyone. The CIA, Germany, Israel, even the fucking Taliban gave us a heads up for Christ sake. And nobody did anything. Nothing. They didn't close a single airport or even put one on high alert. The only extra fighter jets in the sky that day were confusing NORAD with war games that seemed to mimic the precise kind of attacks that everyone and their cousin had been warning us about. Maybe I'm nuts but this shit smells a lot like Pearl Harbor to me.
Why muck it up with some ridiculous, over convoluted, Alex Jonesian plot? All the motherfuckers had to do was kick back and let it happen....or maybe the government is just incompetent. Not a very sexy theory but it holds up. Our international police state was already stretched so razor thin that even a dozen veritable warnings could have easily gotten lost in the daily flurry of paperwork it takes to maintain an empire. Stranger things have happened.
So was 9/11 an inside job? I honestly don't know. And neither do you. So stop acting so goddamn smug. Conspiracy theorists and "skeptics" share the same problem as fundamentalists and atheists. You're all so fucking sure you've got it all figured out that you leave no room for the possibility of error that defines the human experience. You believe what you want to believe and filter out everything and anything that conflicts with that narrative. So this 9/11 keep a truly open mind for a change and remember that this creepy fucking holiday that America pretends not to celebrate isn't about you and your favorite narrative or mine. It's about a lot of good people who died, both in those towers and the endless wars that followed them. Regardless of who did what, knew what or didn't, those deaths are still in vain as long as we as a country didn't learn to keep our hands to our fucking selves and stop trying to prevent violence with more goddamn violence.
Get a grip, dearest motherfuckers. Crack out the white wine if it softens the blow of existential uncertainty. But don't punch a Saudi. Odds are he's just another motherfucker too.
Peace, Love and Empathy- CH
Soundtrack: Songs that I was into around 9/11.
* I Can See For Miles By The Who
* Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground By The White Stripes
* Maps By The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
* Beat On The Brat By The Ramones
* Outsmarted By The Hives
* Hard To Explain By The Strokes
* Hash Pipe By Weezer
* Hotel Yorba By The White Stripes
* Jesus, Etc. By Wilco
* (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love, And Understanding By Elvis Costello