Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Donald Trump: The Accidental Isolationist

I've grown sick to my skull hearing about that mythical beast known as Donald Trump the Isolationist. Word of this crypto-zoological wonder began to percolate from right wing peaceniks and left wing warmongers alike on the campaign trail. This wasn't pure crazed madness, it was by design. That brilliant crypto-fascist psychopath Steve Bannon recognized that the meat and potatoes set back in the Rustbelt had had it up to here with seeing their jobs go south and their children come home without limbs from another pointless military quagmire in a country they've never heard of. Under the dark ones guidance, the Donald gleefully chummed the proles in flyover country with quasi-isolationist riffs on NATO and bad trade deals in a routine that played like Pat Buchanan with dick jokes. He even hijacked that Old Right saw-horse, America First. My neighbors in rural Pennsylvania ate it up and asked for seconds.

Of coarse anybody with even a cursory awareness of the Donald's rap sheet knew from the jump that this was just the latest scam from a morally bankrupt career flim-flam man. Anyone who's been to Atlantic City in the last twenty years can testify to the total worthlessness of Trump's word. From the Jersey Turnpike that once great city looks like one big ghetto trapped in the shadows of a gigantic graveyard of colossal empty casinos towering like gravestones with Trumps name stamped on them. He took a government bailout and left an entire community holding his bag of shit. This is what that asshole does and judging by the serial bombing senators he's spent decades bankrolling in both parties (aka the Swamp), I didn't expect much different in the White House. That and the fact that for every "maybe we should get along with the Russians" you had at least twelves "lets bomb the shit out of them"'s. But people, Americans in particular, here what they want to here.

Sadly, over a year into this mess, there are still plenty of fine paleo-anti-interventionists who are still holding on to the dream long after it's become a nightmare. Justin Raimondo of antiwar.com is the most blaring (and depressing) example of this delusional mental illness. Once one of the finest voices in the antiwar movement, Justin has reduced himself to the pitiful role of Trump's top antiwar cheerleader. To people like Justin, no amount of drone strikes, cluster-bombs, or dead brown children can convince them that they wasted their vote on a two-bit warmonger with a flea-bit hairpiece. There is nothing "America First" about illegally bombing Syria and aiding and abetting twin genocides in Yemen and Gaza. However, irony of ironies, Donald Trump's specific brand of belligerent gunboat diplomacy has had some inadvertent Isolationist results. I speak specifically of his happy clusterfucks in Korea and Iran.

In spite of what Trump and his "Nobel!" chanting cheerleaders would have you believe about Korea, Kim did not succumb to Trump's childish schoolyard threats of nuclear holocaust and finally cave to peace after half a century of only slightly milder American belligerence. The motherfucker kept building ICBMs until he had one capable of deterring an American intervention and then used the leverage to play Gorbachev. I do believe however that Trump's violent temper tantrums did have an effect on one Korean statesman. South Korean president Moon Jae-In seemed ready and willing to mediate his country's diplomacy through the traditional American network of do-nothing bullshit until Trump began openly contemplating a second Korean War on social media like Gossip Girl with a red button. It was only after it had become painfully clear that the Donald was more concerned with his dick size than even do-nothing bullshit diplomacy that Moon made the unprecedented decision to get in touch with the North through China and start the ball rolling towards peace without us. The Trump administration did everything in their power to sabotage this process before it became brutally clear that they had finally lost South Korea's loyalty after decades of using their peninsula like a giant toilet for the Military Industrial Complex.

It was only after peace between the two Korea's became inevitable that Trump, ever the opportunist, decided to swoop in and take credit for a historical peace deal rather than accepting his rightful role as the ass who lost East Asia completely to relative diplomatic sanity. This is why I'm not surprised or even particularly concerned about the Donald's fourth quarter flip-flopping on the Singapore summit. His excuses are all bullshit. Pence and Bolton attempted to sabotage the deal with their sweet nothings about treating Kim to the "Libyan model" of diplomatic dagger proctology and Trump rolled with it. But the dye is cast and these desperate little shits know it. The peace process began before Trump decided to piggy-back it and it will only grow stronger if he finally ditches it. Now there can be no question that this is a uniquely Asian peace deal and the continent has little use for the American Empire's malign influence any longer.

Many people interpreted the Donald's actions towards Iran as being at least initially antithetical to the Korean situation but our knuckle-dragging president's intentions and their cataclysmic results for US influence remain shockingly similar when carefully inspected. Trump's militant hatred for the Islamic Republic and the P5+1 nuclear deal are two of the few things the bastard has remained consistent on. Hardly shocking, considering that that predator-Zionist casino cancer Sheldon Adelson basically paid him for a war with Iran. But in the wake of Trump's heavily publicized shredding of a deal that the Iranians jumped through their own collective asshole to comply with, a strange thing happened. Europe, much like Korea, finally told America to go fuck itself. In the last few weeks Germany, France, and the EU have gone out of their way to preserve the peace deal, blocking sanctions and even cozying up to Xi's China and Putin's Russia. It appears that Trump's half-cocked attempt to spark yet another war in the Persian Gulf has instead resulted in pushing Europe even closer to their neighbors in Asia and speeding up the inevitable rise of the Eurasian Century that poses the greatest outside threat to America's moribund empire and thus the planet's greatest hope for peace.

Don't get me wrong, there are still plenty of opportunities for war with Korea and Iran. As long as that craven war-junkie John Bolton has an office in Washington, World War 3 is always on the table. But the unintended consequences of President Trump's slap-dash chauvinism have actually done far more to isolate America than any legitimate America-Firster probably could have accomplished before crossing the wrong grassy knoll. Trump is far from an isolationist, he's just a fantastically inept imperialist. Perhaps Justin Raimondo and Co. have reason to celebrate after all. The man they elected may be a sexist, xenophobic, trigger-happy, con artist but he's also something far less gross. Donald J. Trump is the accidental isolationist and, god help me, that puts a smile on my tranarcho-Marxist mug a mile wide.

Keep up the bad work, dipshit! Make America shrink again and we'll drown that rabid critter in the same fucking toilet where you found that merkin stapled to your scalp.

Peace, Love, & Empathy- CH

Soundtrack: songs that influenced this post

* Isolation by Joy Division
* Nobody Cares by Superorganism
* I Wanna Be Your Dog by the Stooges
* Turning Japanese by the Vapors
* Requiem by Killing Joke
* Loser by Beck
* Surrender by Cheap Trick
* Disappointing Diamonds Are the Rarest of Them All by Father John Misty
* White Light/White Heat by the Velvet Underground
* Mr. Brightside by the Killers

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