Monday, August 13, 2018

First They Came For the Douche-Bags

Censorship has never been more hip. All the kids are doing it, all the cool ones anyway. Someone tweets something spicy and they go running to Big Brother to set things straight. And why not? The adults are doing it too, or at least the people who call themselves adults in the legacy media do. After centuries of covering civil wars, Red Scares, and Nixonian scandals, our gilded Fourth Estate has rendered themselves to the status of a bunch of snot-nosed, apple snitching kids crying foul whenever some pedestrian steps on their feelings or questions their inalienable right to zeitgeist supremacy. I speak of coarse of the latest Stalinist purges being undertaken on social media juggernauts like Facebook and Twitter in the name of protecting our precious bodily fluids from a dastardly Slavic midterm conspiracy that everyone is apparently too terrified to prove exists.

So far the victims of this purge have mostly been douche-bags like that rambling boil with teeth, Alex Jones. But that's how it starts and we've already gotten a taste of how it ends. After verbally spanking one too many corporate news jackass (some chickenshit stringer from the New York Times), State Department whistle-blower and fifth degree black belt smart-ass, Peter Van Buren was given the Twitter death penalty and permanently removed from the sites recorded history, just as easy as clipping Yezhov from a photograph. In a rampant spree of crypto-fascist overkill a couple of other fine upstanding civil libertarians, Scott Horton who still refuses to publish me at (not that I'm pissed about it!) and Daniel McAdams of the Ron Paul Institute, where slapped in the purgatory penalty box just for coming to the poor bastards defense.

This all suites the virtue signalling martyrs of the "free" press just fine. Guys like Peter have devoted their lives to debunking their bullshit. At the time of his expulsion Peter was crashing the pity party being thrown by those self-fellating imbeciles in the wake of our techno-Tourette's stricken president's latest tweet lashing the mainstream media as the "enemy of the people" (Stalin's wraith seems to be quite active these days). Peter was not-so-politely reminding these perpetual victims that our dear leader made one accurate point- that you motherfuckers start wars with your propaganda. The righteous indignation of these very war-whores, caught with their hand in the hypocrisy jar, was almost laughably absurd. As was their total stone-blindness to the fact that this kind of obnoxiously clueless behavior is precisely what allows morons like Donald Trump and Alex Jones to prosper from its blowback. I'd probably still be fucking laughing if a hadn't read 1984 in 8th grade.

This kind of shit is fucking dangerous to democracy. I really feel like I shouldn't have to say that but apparently I do. The coy excuse that behemoths like Twitter and Facebook are private companies falls flat when you consider what this really means. The fact that those companies are private corporations (though they're not above corporate welfare) who answer to the bottom line above all else only proves that this kind of knee-jerk fascism sells. In fact, by all appearances, it seems to be a hit with the same #Resistance that pretends to be the last line of defense in the fight for liberal democracy (whatever the hell that means anymore). If these yuppie lumpenproletariats truly gave two fucks about democracy they would be protesting the silencing of dissident voices on both the left and the right by their favorite vehicle for "free speech".

I also shouldn't have to tell people that the First Amendment doesn't protect the speech you like, it protects the speech you hate. It's so damn cliche that I feel like I'm guest starring on a very special episode of Different Strokes, but it's true. Alex Jones may be a colossal flapping anus but is he really that much more hysterical than Rachel Maddow or Sean Hannity? At least his nonsense is mildly amusing and quite possibly avante garde performance art ala Andrew Dice Clay. Reptilian sodomites make for much more interesting boogeymen than yet another Red Scare. One of my childhood heroes Marilyn Manson once mused that you can't sedate the things you hate, but in today's day and age a transgressive artist like Manson or Abbie Hoffman ("The only dope worth shooting is Nixon") or Lenny Bruce (no stranger to the N-word) wouldn't last three seconds without being corralled into Google reservations. When did our once rebellious youth become so goddamn domesticated. Democracy is supposed to be messy, hell, it's supposed to be downright upsetting, anything but "safe". Just ask a marginalized person like myself about it. If I can handle having alt-right jar-heads threaten to rape me for being non-binary than I think you cissy Whole Foods honkies can handle cohabitating with a few libertarians with inconvenient truths to tell. If you're having trouble growing a pair you can have mine. God knows I don't need em.

Jello Biafra, another childhood hero of mine, once said, "Don't hate the media, become the media." The internet has made this anarchist dream a fantastic reality. The World Wide Web didn't invent fake news, it gave we the people the opportunity to correct it. Now the original fake newsters in the Fourth Estate are biting back against the medium that has rendered their propaganda obsolete. They paternalistically pretend that their overt flirtations with fascism protect people like me. But people like me were invisible until social media gave us the opportunity to be seen. If they think I'm going to be silent while they clip my wings and use me as a bullet proof vest for their tyranny then they clearly don't know who they're fucking with.

So this ones for the douche-bags, dearest motherfuckers. If we let them be silenced then god knows who's next. Big Brother can pucker up and kiss my tranny ass.

Peace, Love, & Liberty- CH

This post is dedicated in loving memory to my friend, Lisa Calderwood, another bitch who never learned her place, and Richard Russell, a fellow broken creature who went out in a blaze of glory. This blog will always champion the outcasts that the fake news vilifies and ignores. Godspeed and dos vedanya, comrades. You are not forgotten.

Soundtrack; songs that influenced this post

* Cake and Sodomy by Marilyn Manson
* Holiday In Cambodia by Dead Kennedys
* Panic by the Smiths
* Raise Your Voice Joyce by Fucked Up
* Rape Me by Nirvana
* I Feel Free by Dilly Dally
* Why We Fight by the Decemberists
* Rat Fink by the Misfits
* My Monkey by Marilyn Manson
* See No Evil by Television

1 comment:

  1. I was a victim of the Great Glorious Twitter Purge (apparently my cartoons didn't go over too well) and I only a few days ago finally got back on it with a totally new identity. My old ID had over 1500 followers, my new has 32 or so. Not a problem, really; I'm hardly using Twitter compared to what I used to before.

    What I find is that the liberal brigade is far more supportive of censorship than the "conservatives" (as a far left wing person I'm no longer really surprised to discover that I have more in common with palaeoconservatives than "liberals" these days). If they can't shut you down they'll do the equivalent of sticking their fingers in their ears and refusing to listen to you: the default mode is to call you a Russian troll. In the airless space they're creating for themselves nothing that upsets them can possibly exist. That's why they scream so loudly when reality smacks them in the face.