Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Why I Love Guns (& You Should Too!)

I like guns. I probably shouldn't like guns. I don't own guns. No one in my immediate family owns guns. And I'm just slightly to the left of Mao Zedong (just slightly). But I love guns. I love everything about guns. How they look. How they sound. I assume how they feel. I'd like to own one someday when I have the money. A revolver I think. Something in walnut and blue steel that really brings out my eyes. Maybe I've just seen too many movies. Call me a Tarantino leftist.

But I love guns. I love guns the way the Black Panthers, Hunter S. Thompson and Alex Cockburn loved guns. I love guns because they empower the poor. They empower the poor to defend themselves without having to rely on the state. More importantly, they empower the poor to defend themselves from the state, be they racist cops, Border Patrol Gestapo or compound torching feds. The Second Amendment is the one civil right that makes all the others possible. Guns insure that poor people can hold their government accountable when they choose to step on the Constitution.

I also love guns because I'm queer. I love guns because I don't look forward to being curb-stomped by a bunch of fucking skinheads for wearing a dress with a beard only to have some hate-fuck pig tell me in traction that I was asking for it. I love guns because I look forward to the opportunity to show such fag-bashing scum that I have a second cock beneath my skirt. One that blows holes in their skulls deeper than any Filipino surgeon could ever dig in my crotch. I love guns because assimilation is a joke queerer than I am and queer rights looks like a drag queen with a loaded Kalashnikov.

But guns are bad, right? Guns hurt people. People hurt people. People with guns hurt people. People with guns and no earthly idea how to use them hurt people. And people with guns hurt people without guns. An armed populace is a free populace and the more armed a populace is the freer a populace is. Guns are an integral part of any working democracy but a democracy only works when its people are engaged and informed. I see know reason why gun safety shouldn't be taught in public schools. I also see know reason why an inherently undemocratic premise like a standing army shouldn't be phased out and replaced by an inherently democratic premise like an organized civilian militia. It works for Switzerland. One of the safest and most democratic nations on earth. Oh and did I mention that they're also socialists. Just blew your mind, didn't I?

So this is a call to arms. To all my comrades on the left, be they anarchist, communist, socialist or libertarian. Black, brown and queer. Arm yourselves. Arm yourselves to the fucking teeth. What's left of our democracy depends on it. And love your guns. Respect your guns. Learn how to use your guns. Keep them holstered until you need them. Keep the peace and shoot any cunt in the ass who tries to take your piece away.

All power to the people, dearest motherfuckers, all power to the people.

Peace, Love and Empathy- CH

Soundtrack; Songs that influenced this post.

* Ten Dollar Bill By Cop Shoot Cop
* I Shot The Sheriff By Bob Marley
* Fuck The Police By N.W.A.
* Kick Out The Jams By The MC5
* Fight The Power By Public Enemy
* That's When I Reach For My Revolver By Mission Of Burma
* Power To The People By John Lennon


  1. Given your passionate support (which I agree with) for guns, why don't you own one or more?

    "Oh and did I mention that their also socialists."

    Did you mean "they're"?

  2. Too the first question the answer is I simply don't have the money. Social Security Supplemental, which I'm on do to issues related to agoraphobia, doesn't believe in arming the poor like I do.

    Too the second question the answer is yes and I'll change it the moment I'm done with this response. I never got properly hooked on phonics. I could really use an editor but, once again, no money. Thanks for stopping by.