Breaking Daesh

This post should have been done weeks ago but what can I say, November has been one motherfucker of a month and this learning disabled anti-imperialist has had one hell of a time trying to keep up with the madness. It seems like every time I thought I had this months shifting ISIS narrative figured out, another rug was pulled from beneath my feet and the story changed shape completely. I have little doubt that this will probably happen at least two or three more times as I write and type this up but I cant hold this off forever and I have some things that need to be said. So fuck it twice, here we go.

This month started with a terrifying sequence of bangs. In the span of about two weeks ISIS or IS or Daesh or whoever the fuck they identify as this second blew up a Russian airliner over Egypt's Sinai Peninsula, killing all 224 people on board, set off twin suicide bombs in a Hezbollah friendly suburb of Beirut, leaving another 43 dead and hundreds injured, and then, as if that weren't enough, the gruesome icing on this three tiered cake of blood and guts, there was the epic assault on the City of Light.

Over a span of just hours, 130 people were wiped out across Paris in a demonic orgy of violence that puts the Manson Family to shame. Guns, bombs, cafes, a theater, hostages, executions, suicide. Nearly all the casualties were just kids, my age or younger, including the dead eyed assassins. They were all innocent, no cops, no soldiers, no politicians, not even a single race bating cartoonist. Just kids, out to have fun, to get laid, to get stoned, to fall in love, to listen to music, to be young. A totally senseless act of cruel, naked nihilism. Brainwashed butchers punishing the citizens of a country that helped create them before realizing, too late, that they've created a beast beyond there control.

Based on the screaming headlines, you could be forgiven to mistake this bombastic, tricontinental rampage as a sign of the growing power of Daesh. The reality, however, is quite the contrary. Ever since Putin began his decisive assault against the scourge of radical Wahhabism/Salafism in Syria, the masked cowards of the so called Islamic State and there Al-Qaeda brethren have been on the run. The PKK have taken back the Yezedi capitol of Sinjar, cutting the main highway connecting the Islamic States two major cities, Raqqa and Mosul, in half. The PKK's comrades in the YPG have captured the main border crossing of Tal Abyad, essentially cementing there control of nearly half of the Turkish border while Assad's resurgent soldiers bring up the rear, slowly taking the other half from the coast eastward. Closing the primary ISIS supply line like a slow, crushing vice.

But perhaps most devastating of all was the Syrian Armies, Russian backed, victory at the strategic northern military airbase in Kuweires, where some 250 brave Syrian soldiers had held off a Dien Bien Phu style siege of thousands of heavily armed ISIS commandos for more then two and a half fucking years. With a little help from there friends in Hezbollah and the Iranian Revolutionary Guard, Assad's Heroes not only managed to take back the base, freeing the 250, but killed hundreds of Daesh-bags in the process.

So as ISIS saw there desert kingdom crumble like a sand castle beneath Shiite boots, they lashed out violently like the rabid little cowards they are against whatever civilians there NATO supplied bullets could reach. Essentially a temper tantrum for mass murderers, likely aimed at riling the west into stupidly throwing more guns into there snake pit. And rile they did, with there grotesque acts of bombastic street theater, showering Egypt, Lebanon and France with the severed limbs of the innocent.

My own emotions ran the gamut as I watched these heartbreaking events unfold through the crass prism of 24/7 cable news. Disgust, disbelief, sorrow, anger and oddly enough a macabre, paper thin sliver of hope. The silver lining framing the mushroom cloud. Maybe, just maybe this terrible triad of massacres will finally slap some fucking sense into the leaders of Europe and North America. That this isn't a fucking game anymore, if it ever was to begin with. I prayed that the Barack Obama's and Francois Hollande's of this world would see these shocking images of urban horror and realize that it isn't fucking worth it to arm and empower these jihadi cunts and there fellow travelers just to overthrow one more secular dictator and stick it to Russia. Maybe now this madness will stop and the west will back the fuck off and let Russia, Iran and Hezbollah cleanse the deserts of the Levant with the blazing fire of former victims armed to destroy there tormentors once and for all. Maybe the Christian world will finally realize that there true enemies aren't in Tehran and Moscow but Riyadh and Ankara and Wall Street. Maybe, just maybe, I hoped. Maybe, just maybe.

Sounds foolish, right. That was my second reaction to my own train of thought, too. That and maybe, just maybe I'll wake up in Mila Kunis' bed tomorrow with Ashton Kutcher's severed head impaled on my three foot hard on. I quickly found myself quoting one of my journalistic heroes, Alexander Cockburn (no pun intended), asking myself "Wheres your bullshit detector, Nick?" but then the damnedest fucking thing happened. Europe rediscovered there rationality, or so it appeared. After making the typically childish, macho grunts about waging a "pitiless war", the usually spineless President Francois Hollande took uncharacteristically brave steps towards forging a union between France and Russia, speaking of a "grand coalition" dedicated to destroying ISIS rather then simply "containing" them and Francois wasn't the only frog to rediscover his balls beneath the growing heap of French corpses. Former Republican President and fellow stalwart imperialist Nicolas Sarkozy similarly called for an alliance with Russia, proclaiming emphatically, "There cannot be two coalitions in Syria". Could there be hope for the French after all. Were these two careerist pussies both visited in the night by the ghost of Charles De Gaul and shown tableau's of Fifth Republic past, present and future.

Then again, after re-consulting with my trusty bullshit detector, I came to the much more likely conclusion that these two men, the leaders of Frances traditional post-war political powerhouses, the Republicans and the Socialists, recognized the threat to there political futures posed not by ISIS but by the meteoric rise of the National Front's Marine Le Pen, who has openly called for collaboration with Putin on the Syrian issue for months now. The irony of a female racist reintroducing the supposedly multi-cultural Hollande and Sarkozy to there own testicles is not lost on this left-wing feminist. Oh well, fuck it, progress is progress. Two steps forward, one step back.

Sadly there was little to no progress on the American front. In spite of President Obama's refusal to chum the war thirsty "liberal" media with promises of total war in Syria, he still stood by the same old, stupid party line of bashing Putin and calling for Assad to hand over the keys to his country to Barack's charming "moderate" jihadists which, since the beginning of Russia's bombing campaign, now officially including Al-Nusrah aka Al-Qaeda in Syria. Never the less, I still took great joy in watching the liberal wunderkind bicker with the same ass kissers who sainted him, for not "getting those bastards", at the G-20 summit in Antalya, Turkey. But Putin was the real star of the summit, informing his squirming audience of hypocritical sycophants that he had solid evidence that not only was ISIS being funded by at least 40 different nations but several of them were members of the G-20. Putin didn't name names, yet. But he didn't have to after providing his next exhibit. Irrefutable satellite imagery showing ISIS oil tankers filing directly into Turkey by the thousands. Proving that not only was ISIS being directly funded by the summits gracious host (with Sultan Erdogan's own son involved with the shipping) but that the evidence to prove this was easily attainable by any nation with a satellite focused on the region I.E. Turkey's handlers in Washington. Putin calmly played this game of connect the dots before the international community like a Slavic Perry Mason, leaving the room with the confidence of a disrespected lawman vindicated by his own hard earned evidence. Days later, with there hands tied, the United States launched it's first air strike on ISIS' Turkish bound convoy wiping out 116 of Erdogan's trucks to save face but only after giving them an unprecedented 45 minutes notice to get there vehicles across the border. It appeared that Master Putin had once again served America up another ass slapping check mate in there own crooked chess game but then the story changed shape again and the rug was yanked violently beneath the worlds feet.

Only days after Turkey's public caning at the hands of Putin, the new Ottomans enjoyed there petty, bloody revenge, shooting down a Russian bomber on the Syrian side of a border they had already arbitrarily and illegally moved in 2012. The two pilots, managed to parachute out at the last second only to come under heavy gunfire, in a clear war crime, as they descended to earth. There attackers? Al-Qaeda linked Turkmen rebels being led by a member of Turkey's notorious, CIA trained, racist militia, the Grey Wolves. One pilot was murdered before his bullet riddled corpse could hit the ground where the putrid buzzards posed for pictures and propaganda videos with there ill gotten trophy of lily-dicked bitch cowardice. His co-pilot was rescued by a crew of Russian and Syrian commandos but not before Barack's precious Free Syrian Army downed a Russian rescue helicopter with an American TOW missile, killing a Russian Marine in the process (BTW my grandfather was a Marine so the whole Free Syrian Army can eat dicks in hell for eternity).

And we're supposed to believe this was all just a big mistake brought on by Russia's selfish insistence on saving Syria from jihadi fucked hell, whoopsy daisy! Bull fucking shit! This shit was fucking planned and dollars to donuts Sultan Erdogan wasn't the mastermind. Even if we're to believe Turkey's claim that the bomber crossed into Turkish airspace, by there own admission this breach lasted 19 seconds. Hardly enough time to justify a shoot down under the terms of international law. Shit! it's not even enough time to make a supposedly random, spur of the moment attack possible. And we're also supposed to believe that a death squad of Turkish trained and led Turkmen just happened to be there, waiting beneath the wreckage, machine guns and camera's at the ready to slaughter any survivors and capture it on tape alongside there American armed comrades in the FSA. Just one, big, happy, bloody co-inky dink and on the day before Francois Hollande was slated to meet with Vladimir Putin to discuss collaborating against ISIS. What are the odds?!!

And speaking of coincidences. Who was Mr. Hollande meeting with that very day? None other then our dear leader, Barack Obama, who took the time to warn the French President against getting to close to Putin. And who just happened to be in Ankara that day? None other then former Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral James Winnefield but I'm sure he was just in town to enjoy the kebab and cheap prostitutes.

Do you smell the Devil yet or do you need another "coincidence" to connect the dots. How about the fact that the only other country outside the Russian coalition who had been given the precise flight paths for that day was the United States. Putin shared them with us in hopes of avoiding just such a tragic incident. So only one country new exactly where to set the trap, where the jet was most likely to breach a highly contentious border, and exactly when to pull the trigger, exactly when to twist the knife in Russia's back for fucking up America's latest regime change conspiracy. Only one country could have pulled off this depraved act of attempted diplomatic sabotage and this pissed off blogger is sitting in it.

So what have we learned this November, dearest motherfuckers? We've learned that ISIS has finally fulfilled  the Bush era prophecy of an international terrorist menace capable of wreaking havoc across multiple continents, thanks to more then a little help from there supposed enemies in the US of A. We've learned that Europe can still be reasoned with in the wake blood drenched mass tragedies but America is so possessed with imperial hubris that no massacre is gruesome enough to activate there humanity, that is, if it even exists anymore. We've learned that Turkey's relationship with ISIS has become so intimate that the two have become virtually indistinguishable from each other. And perhaps most importantly we've learned that NATO's twisted obsession with destroying Russia has become so maniacal that there willing to risk World War 3 to achieve it.

ISIS needs to be annihilated with extreme fucking prejudice and it's probably going to take an international coalition to do it but any coalition that includes states that actively collaborate with Islamic jihadists is damned to perpetual failure. The free world must break all ties with the terror factory of NATO and its minions in Erdogan's Turkey if we ever wanna break Daesh.

Taking Back Pro-Life

I have confessed to being some pretty radical things on this blog. I have confessed to being a Christian who questions the existence of god. I have confessed to being a die-hard Marxist with strong anarchist tendencies. I have confessed my sympathies for benevolent dictators and designated terrorist organizations. I have confessed my undying love for the proclaimed villains of this society and my abject disgust with it's so called heroes. Yes, I have confessed to being some pretty radical things, which is a big part of why I started this blog. After years of hiding from the outside world, I made the downright terrifying decision to stand naked before it and invite the stones of the angry villagers, who once drove me away, to rain down upon my bare flesh and baptize my new found freedom in a shower of my own blood, (what? Too emo? well, fuck you then).

So here I stand, once again, before the glow of my computer monitor, to make yet another radical confession, sure to rile up a few more perma-pissed villagers and demolish a few more bridges. For I, Nick Reid AKA comrade hermit, confirmed leftist and feminist, don't very much regret to inform you that I, for lack of a better word, am pro-life, so gather your stones, dearest motherfuckers, while I attempt to explain my latest transgression against your precious established paradigm.

Let me start by saying that this is not a position that I have come to easily. I have struggled with it for years. As I said I consider myself to be a feminist and I don't wear that label cavalierly. Abortion is not a simple issue. One thing I feel it's equally important for both sides of the issue to recognize is that this shit is not black and white, none of it is. It's all grey and messy and complicated.

There is no way to avoid the fact that, regardless of your position, this is very much a women's rights issue as well as an unborn rights issue. The two are ire-tractably entangled and connected, just like the biology of the mother and child. You can't grant rights to one without subtracting rights from the other. It's a perilous balancing act and as someone who has spent time on both sides of this issue, I can honestly tell you that this is one debate with no clear-cut good guys or bad guys. Both the pro-life and the pro-choice are concerned first and foremost with human rights. There divergent passions share the same source. The thirst for equality and dignity for all living things. They also share many of the same blind spots, most stemming from this very thirst and the passion it inspires.

I am a man, thus I can never truly understand what it feels like to have aspects of my own internal biology be a matter of public policy. To face the unsavory prospect of having someone else instruct me on how I can and can't operate my own body, especially if that person doesn't even share that biology and shows zero interest in attempting to understand it. I also can't deny that a great deal of anti-abortion legislation is sadly governed from a place of chauvinistic patriarchy.

But I also can't ignore the fact that a fetus, unborn or not, is indeed a human being deserving of some set of human rights. To argue otherwise isn't just wrong it's downright asinine. If a fetus isn't a human being then what the fuck is it? A house plant? A Hot Pocket? A toaster oven? You can sensibly debate the quality and viability of this human being but to deny the basic scientific nature of it's existence requires a level of irrationality rarely seen outside the Christian right. You might as well deny the existence of evolution and global warming.

The fetus, just like the mother, is a human being deserving of rights and dignity. The only difference is the unborn child's rights rarely come at the expense of the woman's life. Whereas as far as abortion is concerned, the mothers rights come almost exclusively at the expense of the child's life. Which is precisely why I consider myself to be pro-life. A fetus may or may not be as viable a human being as a grown woman but, regardless, that doesn't give the mother or anyone else the right to extinguish it, especially if its simply a matter of inconvenience. Cheapening life, any life, to such a degree, cheapens the concept of humanity itself. It cheapens us all, regardless of gender.

Holding such a position was not always so partisan. At one time it wasn't unheard of for people on the left, even the far left, to uphold the sanctity of life. But somewhere along the line we confused abortion with feminism itself, as if the two were one and the same. This started when the hierarchy of the second wave of feminism decided to make abortion rights the cornerstone of there platform and ever since the movement and its natural sympathizers on the left have viewed the issue with a degree of undying dogma usually reserved for the Jonestown set. Anyone who dares question the wisdom of of the self anointed founding mothers of the second wave (too many of whom were actually transphobic, queer bashers) are automatically cast out into outer darkness for there unforgivable ideological transgressions.

I, personally, don't fucking appreciate facing down a goddamn firing squad every time I'm outed as a pro-life feminist. I am as committed to equality as any other self proclaimed feminist. I vehemently support, fuck that, demand gender equality everywhere from the workplace to the bedroom. My blood boils like a witches cauldron every time I see some unsuspecting girl get eye groped by a pack of wannabe he-men for the crime of daring to walk down the fucking street with anything less then a goddamn burka on. Many of my heroes are strong, outspoken, proudly dangerous women like Mary Magdalene, Dorothy Day, Emma Goldman, Angela Davis, Courtney Love, Frida Kahlo, Kim Gordan and Rosa Luxembourg. These howling voices have given me strength and direction with my own struggles. Shit, as I write this I'm listening to PJ Harvey's Rid of Me for Christ sake. I despise the patriarchy that reigns over western society and I am fully committed to its destruction. So don't you dare accuse me of fucking sexism just because I can't stomach the prospect of surgically eviscerating a fully formed fetus. I wouldn't dare call someone an anti-humanist just for supporting abortion rights even if I do disagree with them. Please afford me the same basic courtesy.

I more than welcome you to disagree with me but do not question my commitment to the cause unless you wish to find yourself locked in the prison of a never ending lecture that makes this one sound like a goddamn haiku by comparison. Fuck with me at your own risk, I can bitch like this for days. Don't fucking try me.

That doesn't mean that I'm letting the pro-life movement off the hook for there transgressions. Not by a long shot. In fact that's the primary reason I chose to post on this subject. I have grown sick and fucking tired of watching another cause dear to me get hijacked by a cartel of sexist, homophobic, Bible thumping hypocrites. I wan't my fucking movement back and I wanna kick the fucking trash out. I wrote this post because I want to take back pro-life.

The biggest problem with the pro-life movement is actually identical to the biggest problem with the pro-choice movement. It's there stark, black and white, dogmatic zealotry. The cold hard, ugly truth is that sadly, occasionally, abortion is a necessary evil. To ask a rape victim to bare the fruit of the monster who violated her is unspeakably cruel. To ask an underage girl who may or may not be capable of consenting to sex but definitely isn't equipped to deal with the full ramifications of these actions in any way, shape or form is beyond unfair. And to subject a woman to the death sentence of giving birth to a child that could literally cost her her life isn't just wrong, it is the antithesis of everything the words pro-life are supposed to stand for. It is slitting the mothers throat just to spite her predicament (here's looking at you Santorum). In all but the last of these examples I would strongly encourage the women and girls involved to spare the unborn child's life and chose adoption but I wouldn't dare be so grossly negligent as to leave them with only a rusty hangar as a plan B. If aborting a child, just out of pure inconvenience, is manslaughter then we have to accept the unfortunate fact that aborting a child to save a woman's life is justifiable homicide.

Which leads me to the second biggest problem with the pro-life movement, the hypocrisy, which is thicker then Beijing smog among the faithful. When I say pro-life, I fucking mean pro-life. This isn't a fucking fashion statement, it's an ethic and without consistency that ethic loses all meaning. That means apposing any and all acts of pointless/avoidable slaughter, whether it's unnecessary abortion, the death penalty, foreign military intervention and yes, forcing women to death by childbirth (I do however support voluntary euthanasia and assisted suicide but the right to die is an issue for another blog).

The biggest hypocrisy of the pro-life movement, however, may be there abject refusal to use the greatest weapons in there arsenal in there fight against abortion. Birth control and in particular the morning after pill. With these two inventions alone, we have never been closer to making abortion completely obsolete. If the pro-life movement was truly serious about ending the needless waste of unborn life, they would be handing these fucking pills out at every rally and demanding there free availability at every hospital, high school, pharmacy, police station, ambulance and college campus. They should be handing this shit out like fucking Skiddles on Halloween. But no! They rather stick to there bat-shit delusion that Plan B, a drug that prevents pregnancy from even occurring, somehow amounts to an abortion drug and the offensively stupid notion that a barely fertilized egg and a fully formed fetus are both one and the same. This certifiably insane theory doesn't just belittle the cause, it cheapens the value of fetal life. Giving it all the moral cache of a jizz crusted Kleenex. If life begins at conception then a seed is a tree and a chicken is an egg. It's precisely this kind of blatantly anti-scientific horse-shit that helps give pro-life a toxic name.

And don't even get me started on all the whooped up energy being wasted on that bullshit fight to defund Planned Parenthood, an organization that saves far more lives then it ends and is already barred by congress from even using tax-payer dollars on abortion, even some of the necessary ones. I may be pro-life but I'm definitely no fucking foot soldier in what can only be described as a war on women.

Being against abortion doesn't mean being against women but when your actively denying poor women vital health care services and re-violating rape victims with ultrasound equipment just to prove a point, you've earned the right to be called out as a chauvinistic pig and sensible pro-lifers should be the first ones to do it. But everyone on the left is too damn scared to take any kind of stand on abortion that isn't pre-approved by the Gloria Steinem intelligentsia over at Ms. Magazine. We need to man/woman up and rediscover our voice and we're not going to find it rubbing shoulders with despicable hypocrites like Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee. The so called Christian right has gotta go if we ever wanna be taken seriously as a movement again.

On the flipside, every pro-choicer who finds the idea of dispatching a full term fetus as it slides out the birth canal to be a step to far is scared silent by the prospect of being lumped in with a crowd of screeching, woman bashing, evangelicals and here lies the problem. The abortion discussion has become so polarized that only the zealots, on both sides, control the conversation and common sense and basic reality get replaced with more thoughtless, partisan bullshit and that's what I want to stop. Right here. Right now.

So let me say it again, loud and proud. My name is Nick Reid and I am a flaming left wing, pro-life feminist, hear me roar!

Now lets get out of these fucking closets and let the real conversation begin.

....If Your Craving Something Truly Sinister

I love Halloween. It's one of my favorite times of the year. The garish lights, the swirling leaves, the kinetic sense of chaos that can only come with the changing of the seasons. It brings out the anarchist in me and Halloween is truly an anarchists holiday. On what other day of the year is pure, uncut mischief so unapologetically celebrated. Children roam the streets, unattended, after dark, dressed as monsters and killers (ideally), travelling from door to door, demanding junk food under the thinly veiled threat of petty vandalism. How could I not love it. The flickering jack-o-lanterns, the bite size candy bars, the smashed mailboxes and toilet paper strewn trees. I love all of it but my favorite part of Halloween is and always will be the horror movies.

I've been obsessed with the horror genre for as long as I can remember and over my years of self imposed isolation I've become something of a connoisseur. There is something so sinfully satisfying about watching other people get butchered in late October. I know, I know, I'm certifiable but who better to guide you through the wonderful world of cinematic blood-lust then a mad, anarchist, hermit. So without further ado, I bring you, dearest motherfuckers, ten of my all time favorite horror movies for your Halloween viewing pleasure. Most of these nightmares don't go down easy. I don't do pussy shit. Wes Craven can fucking suck it. But if your craving something truly sinister, try adding one of these motherfuckers to your Netflix cue.

THE SHINING (1980)- Stanley Kubrick's disorientingly claustrophobic masterpiece may not only be Kubrick's finest work but is quite possibly the greatest horror movie ever made. I honestly can't begin to comprehend what it all means. There's more theories on this then the JFK assassination but the mystery of the film itself, the enigma of Jack Torrance and the Overlook Hotel are precisely what makes The Shining so goddamn terrifying. There is nothing scarier then the unknown except for perhaps the lengths the human mind will go to make sense of it. Stanley Kubrick is truly one of the great mad genius' of cinema and Stephen King is a petty fool for denying his brilliance. The Shining is my favorite horror movie.

THE BABADOOK (2014)- A bedtime story from hell that brilliantly mixes the macabre whimsy of early Tim Burton with the nightmarish surrealism of late David Lynch. The story of a lonely widow struggling to raise a deeply troubled son while attempting desperately to move on from the tragic death of her husband, slain in a gruesome car crash on the way to the hospital to give birth to there only child. The mother and sons shared grief manifests itself into a diabolic children's book come to life and the two must come to terms with this demon, called the Babadook, in order to defeat it. Truly a modern day classic and one of the best horror films of the last year.

THE WICKER MAN (1973)- An eerie and picturesque mystery about a devout Christian detective searching for a missing girl on an isolated Scottish island populated by a strange Celtic cult of born again pagans. I won't give away the ending because it's one of the greatest twists in the history of cinema but trust me it's a shocker you wont see coming. Christopher Lee of Lord of the Rings and Star Wars fame gives a downright mesmerizing performance as the heathen Svengali, Lord Summerisle. The Academy remains cursed to this day for denying him. As does Nicholas Cage for that bastard remake for that matter.

INLAND EMPIRE (2006)- One of the strangest and most terrifying movies ever made from one the greatest directors alive today, a modern day Renaissance lunatic named David Lynch, and this grueling mindfuck-a-thon is the macabre maestro at his best and most unhinged. Not so much a horror movie as an abstract meditation on madness, Inland Empire plays like a kaleidoscope of nightmarish imagery giving the viewer the sensation that they are slowly losing there grip on sanity. Don't try to make fucking sense of it, as Hunter S. Thompson would say just "buy the ticket, take the ride". At three hours of untamed terror, Inland Empire is definitely not for everyone but if you manage to make it through the looking glass to the other end you'll find yourself begging for more. It's art house cinema at its bug-fuck finest.

IT FOLLOWS (2014)- The Babadook is undeniably amazing but this little blood spattered indie gem has to be my favorite horror flick of 2014. A terrifying story about a college girl infected by a strange, sexually transmitted curse that finds her stalked by a slow lumbering, shape-shifting entity that will continue to stalk her until she's either dead (quite literally fucked to death in fact) or has passed the curse on to someone else. A fascinating new take on the body horror genre that should make David Cronenberg proud. It will leave you looking over your shoulder for month.

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008)- Fuck Twilight and forget that crass, soulless American remake, if your in the mood for blood and romance among the world of the living dead (and who isn't) you can do no finer then this beautifully macabre Swedish love story about a twelve year old outcast who falls in love with the girl next door only to discover she's a centuries old vampress. She gives him the courage to stand up to his bullies with naturally gruesome results and intern he gives her the strength to be human. Many found this film terrifying. God help me, I found it to be beautiful. A tale of two misfits capable of acts of merciless brutality and selfless humanity in defense of the shelter the have found in  each others embrace. Like a Gothic Badlands or Kurt and Courtney cast as preteen Scandinavian ghouls, Let the Right One In is perfect for Halloween or Valentines Day, provided your a little sinister.

MARTYRS (2008)- Dearest motherfuckers be warned, this french shocker is NOT for beginners. This movie will scar you but if you can survive the experience you will be hard pressed not to agree that it may be the greatest horror film since The Shining. I don't want to tell you to much because the brutal twists are part of what gives this masterpiece it's gravity. All I'll say is that it's the story of a pair of orphan lovers who seek revenge against a mysterious couple who brutally tortured one of them as a child for unknown reasons. The two manage to get there revenge as well as far, far more then they bargained for. There are many possible interpretations into what this film is truly trying to say. My personal theory is that it's meant to be an allegory for the dangers of organized religion and the depths of inhumanity people are capable of in this life in the name of the possibility of the next one. Like I said, just a theory. Regardless, in spite of all the controversy regarding the films brutal subject matter, Martyrs stands apart from it's more nihilistic cousins in the splatter genre in that Martyrs is essentially a very Humanist horror movie, philosophically. Watch this film at your own risk but WATCH THIS FILM. It will break you but it will also make you stronger. It will make you a martyr.

THE EXORCIST (1973)- To this day this simple story of a young girl possessed by Satan and one tortured priest's suicidal attempt to save her is still the scariest movie I have ever seen and I'm still not completely sure why. Maybe its my Catholic upbringing or maybe I just happened to see this movie at a particularly raw period of my life but this remains the one movie aside from Martyrs that can break me. Being a virtually unbreakable horror junkie, that's fucking saying something. Mad respect, William Peter Blatty, mad respect.

AUDITION (1999)- The ultimate feminist horror movie by Japan's resident king of chaos Takashi Miike. A middle aged widower holds a fake film audition in order to snag a new squeeze. Naturally the conservative Japanese salary-man picks out a cute, shy, and proper Japanese young lady, half his age. What could possibly go wrong? Well, a fuck load of a lot with Miike behind the camera. The salary-man's adorable nymph turns out to be a total fucking psycho, more twisted and dangerous then any massive, lumbering male escaped mental patient and she doesn't appreciate being used. Micheal fucking Myers ain't got shit on this girl. The last half hour alone of this stomach churning, mind bender will go down in history as thirty of the most disturbing minutes ever captured on film. If this movie doesn't make you think twice about using women for your own self serving, chauvinistic designs then your probably Newt Gingrich and you deserve to have your fucking feet sawed off. (teet!-teet!-teet!-teet!-teet!)

THE EVIL DEAD (1981)- Last but definitely not least, a cult treasure and, in my humble opinion, hands down the best of the Evil Dead series. Filmed on a shoestring budget of less then 90 grand, Sam Raimi (yes, THAT Sam Raimi) managed to make the quintessential Halloween shock-fest. Blood thirty demons, sexy coeds, man eating trees, Bruce Campbell's glorious chin and the most fucked up cabin in the woods in horror history. This motherfucker's got em all, not to mention gallons of gore. It's the most fun screaming you'll have with your pants on. (that is, unless you take them off)

HONORABLE MENTION- Haven't had enough yet? Still thirsty for more? Well then congratulations, your officially as sick as I am. You might wanna give some of these a shot- VIDEODROME (1983), THIRST (2009), DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978), WOLF CREEK (2005), ROSEMARY'S BABY (1968), HIGH TENSION (2003), JACOB'S LADDER (1990), STOKER (2013), CALVAIRE (2004), THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991), INSIDE (2007), EDEN LAKE (2008), THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (2009).

Happy Halloween, dearest motherfuckers! Stay sinister.

Kunduz: Portrait of an American War Crime

In the blood spattered pantheon of American intervention episodes of tragic and often gruesome error are sadly common place. Wedding parties get pulverized by airstrikes, drones cut down innocent children only to later proclaim them enemy combatants and elderly peasants get crushed beneath the gears of colossal armored vehicles. Yes, in modern day war zones accidents do happen, all just part of the daily grind when you live in hell. But last weeks bombing of a Doctors Without Borders operated hospital in the northern Afghan city of Kunduz was no fucking accident. It was a callously calculated crime against humanity, a war crime and it needs to be addressed.

The "official" story fed to us by the Pentagon and repeated verbatim by there loyal echo chamber in the mass media has changed repeatedly. First the Afghans called in the attack, then it was the US Army. First it was a logistical mistake, now its collateral damage in an assault against the resurgent Taliban, firing on soldiers from the compound. All of this, of coarse, is total bullshit, all of it.

The US military was well aware of the hospitals location. Doctors Without Borders had provided them with precise and accurate GPS coordinates on multiple occasions, the latest had been provided in late September. Not that they were even necessary. The complex was a massive, well established landmark, the largest building for miles around with a distinctive T shape clearly visible to satellites, let alone aircraft. It was the only free trauma hospital in Northern Afghanistan, adorned with a massive nine foot flag upon its roof identifying it as such. None of this stopped a low flying AC-130 gunship from unleashing hell upon an internationally revered institution protected by the Geneva Convention.

What ensued was a brutal, merciless onslaught of searing hot steel launched from a vehicle that's only express purpose is to murder as many human beings in as short a period of time as possible. The first rampage raged through the hospital for fifteen minutes straight. Drilling massive holes through unsuspecting staff like Swiss cheese, killing some where they stand and leaving others to drown in there own blood. Helpless, incapacitated patients were lit up like Christmas trees, burned alive in there beds leaving little but smoldering bones where they once rived. Once the initial assault finally ceased, the surviving staff immediately called local American forces to inform them that they had just attacked a hospital with zero signs of a Taliban presence in the area. This message, which the Pentagon has recently confirmed was received, did nothing to deter the Military from launching four more identical fifteen minute barrages in just over an hour. By the time the smoke had finally cleared twenty-two lay dead including twelve DWB staff members and three children. Another thirty-seven were left badly maimed. The deed was done. There was nothing left to do but offer hollow apologies and destroy the evidence.

Obomba called up the DWB to offer his sincerest condolences for butchering there comrades but the DWB was in no mood. They didn't want a fucking apology. They wanted answers. Why? Why launch a brutal, kill em all style massacre on a known hospital? Why kill a building load of injured civilians and the tireless servants who failed, honorably, to save them? Why lie about it four times in four days? No, the DWB didn't want a fucking apology. They wanted an independent investigation into the bloodbath by the International Humanitarian Fact Finding Commission but Obomba, in his infinite wisdom, refused to even consider the totally reasonable inquiry, offering instead to conduct his own investigation into his own war crime.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, twelve days after the attacks, the US Army drove right through the wreckage with a goddamn tank, all but obliterating what little evidence remained at the scene of the crime. US forces made the asinine claim that the armored assault vehicle was carrying investigators but somehow didn't see fit to call the DWB first for permission. They didn't even bother fucking knocking first to see if anyone was home. There's no evidence that they even bothered stepping out of the goddamn vehicle. They just rammed right through like a rampaging elephant in heat, leaving all of us, once again, to ask collectively why? What are they so desperate to cover up.

A possible answer came from the usually pro-military Associated Press who, upon further examination, learned from American soldiers in the area that not only did they call in the airstrike on what they admittedly knew was a hospital but  that the Pentagon had assigned them to do surveillance on the building in order to ascertain whether or not a mysterious Pakistani Inter-Service Intelligence spy was among the patients healing inside. These soldiers, for still unknown reasons, came to the conclusion that the hospital was indeed the unwitting host of there query and called in the attack, claiming this unnamed agent to be among the twenty-two dead.

Doctors Without Borders have declared these allegations to be bullshit, professing that there were zero people of Pakistani descent present at the hospital that day. Could this be true? Was the Kunduz airstrike a calculated hit gone wrong? Or did they successfully slay there target along with twenty-one civilians. Either way this qualifies as a war crime worthy of the Hague. Who was/is this Pakistani mystery man? Why were the military willing to slaughter a building full of innocents and risk an international incident just to kill him? What did/does he know and why couldn't/can't he be aloud to survive? Let us not forget that Pakistan is allegedly our allie and the ISI is the same intelligence force fingered by Seymour Hersh for secretly imprisoning Bin Laden then helping us to execute the beast in cold blood. Could this somehow be connected or have I just seen to many Oliver Stone flicks?

Perhaps an even more important question to ask is what the hell are we even still doing in that god forsaken country, propping up an obviously failed state? Its been four goddamn years since we whacked Bin Laden, allegedly our whole reason for being in Afghanistan, in a carefully choreographed hit that took place in fucking Pakistan. Its been fourteen years since we started our longest war which seems to grow longer by the second with the withdrawal date always just out of reach. In that time we've lost 2,350 US soldiers, over a trillion US dollars and murdered an undetermined number of Afghani civilians that reaches deep into the thousands even by the most conservative estimates. In that time we have solved absolutely nothing. The Taliban and al-Qaeda are more powerful, popular and dangerous then ever. The people are still impoverished. Most girls are still born into what essentially amounts to lifelong sexual slavery. The opium trade is fucking booming and what passes for a central government in Kabul gives corruption a bad name.

Why the fuck did we even invade this hellhole in the first place, The Taliban weren't any worse then those baby raping pigs in the Northern Alliance. We know for a fact that they were apposed to al-Qaeda's 911 plot from the beginning and they were growing increasingly tired of dealing with Bin Laden's bullshit. We could have and should have made them a fucking deal that would have aloud the Taliban government to hand over al-Qaeda and still save face among the faithful. Every one of those sheep shagging jihadi pricks would be rotting in Florence Super-max right now, Bin Laden included, and over two thousand American families wouldn't be facing the ugly prospect of another lonely holiday season without there husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters.

And why in the name of Christ, Marx and Mohammed couldn't we just leave the 1978 revolution of the Peoples Democratic Party be? They came closer to fixing Afghanistan's colossal shit-load of problems then anyone else has. But we had to fucking blow it up and for what?! Just to hasten the Soviet Unions already inevitable economic demise? Was it really fucking worth it!?! Was any of this shit?!!! Why do our leaders continue to insist on proving the terrorists right by behaving just like them? Giving them a dozen new recruits with every bomb they drop. Why can't we just mind our own fucking business?

If your among the handful of dearest motherfuckers bored enough to tune into my rants then I'm sure you've already figured out that these questions are rhetorical and the answer to most of them is an ugly six letter word called E-M-P-I-R-E and there's no easy cure for this national affliction. Our country has become hopelessly addicted to war and Afghanistan is the speedball of imperialism. Every super power that's tried this fix has died an ugly death but there's always another in line that thinks there the one that can handle the high. Kunduz is sadly just the latest in an endless procession of bloody binges and unless the people of this country call a fucking intervention it won't be the last.

Let Putin Take Out the Trash

I generally consider myself to be a stalwart anti-interventionist. I believe that war should be the absolute last resort, when all other options are fully exhausted and even then only when the threat to a nations citizenry is direct and inescapable. All and all, I believe the world works best when countries mind there own fucking business and fight there own fucking wars. But every rule has its exceptions and I strongly believe that Russia's decision to intervene in Syria is one of those exceptions.

I spent the better half of my last post detailing how the United States and its rump states in the Gulf (+Turkey) manufactured the so called Syrian Civil War in a cruel conspiracy to transform yet another secular Arab nation into another defenseless cripple state, ripe for imperial rape.

Now the putrid ISIS virus, concocted by these gods of war in the toxic laboratory of post-Saddam Iraq, has unsurprisingly escaped there masters control, just like al-Qaeda before it, and developed into the self-sustaining, genocidal terror factory known as the Islamic State. But the US still doesn't seem to fucking care. Sure they talk a big deal about there dedication to reigning in there rapidly expanding bastard frankenstate but they continue to devote themselves, first and foremost, to the overthrow of the only government capable of keeping Syria from becoming another fucking Libya. As they halfheartedly drop bombs on targets that do as much harm to Syria's faulty infrastructure as they do to the Islamic State, they continue to willfully undermine the fight they claim to lead. Hobbling Iran's Quds Force, arming so called moderates with direct ties to al-Qaeda and turning a blind eye to client states like Turkey and Saudi Arabia who directly support the Islamic State. In fact America's coalition to fight these motherfuckers is quite literally stacked with the despots who support them.

It has become abundantly clear to any sane, reasonably educated citizen of the world that the American Empire is more then willing to let the Islamic State win its war against humanity as long as it takes Assad out in the process. This recklessly nihilistic strategy puts the entire world at risk but few nations have as much reason to lose sleep as Russia, who has long been the real target of America's jihad against peace in the Middle East.

Not only does Russia have its only Mediterranean naval base in the coastal city of Tartus, it also, by last count, has over two thousand of its own Muslim citizens fighting under the flags of ISIS and al-Nusra, undoubtedly sharpening there skills and boning up there armories for future wars in Russia's already unstable Caucus region. All in perfect sink with the Brzezinski plot to disintegrate the Federation in a bubbling vat of religious zealotry and Balkanesque nationalism.

Meanwhile, the real foes of Wahhabist extremism in the Middle East; Syria, Iran, Hezbollah and Kurdistan all remain shackled by America's strategic hijacking of the war effort and the world stands by, paralyzed with fear, as the Empire of chaos sinks its fangs into another hapless victim. Everyone, that is, but the single leader capable of stopping this gruesome spectacle, Vladimir Putin.

Putin had an impossible decision to make, allow another of his nations allies to go the way of Yugoslavia and watch America's jihadist wildfire grow ever closer to his backyard or get involved and embolden the few forces willing and capable of rooting the Islamic State at the expense of his already tattered standing with the so called international community. Putin bravely chose to stand with the people of Syria, Lebanon, Kurdistan, Iraq and Iran. Putin chose to stand up to the American Empire in what may go down in history as the worlds first and hopefully last anti-interventionist intervention and I believe Putin chose right.

Not only did Putin choose the right war but he chose the right way to wage it. Where as Obama launched his campaign of terror on Syria without the consent of Congress or the Syrian government, thus committing yet another American war crime. Putin, on the other hand, received the full support of the Duma and Syria thus fully complying with international law. He even slyly offered Obama the opportunity to join the real war on terror. Naturally, the Nobel Peace Prize winner refused, showing his true colors to his supposed allies in Iraq who joined Putin's coalition even after being threatened with losing support from there good old Uncle Sam. Check mate, Putin.

As a stubborn Marxist and semi-lapsed anarchist, my feelings towards old Vlad have always been a bit conflicted. On the one hand I'm somewhat sickened by his dedication to post-Soviet crony capitalism and gross executive power. On the other hand he has consistently proven himself to be a tireless crusader against imperialism. Using his nearly unparalleled strength to protect the innocent and defenseless in Abkhazia, Ossetia, Crimea, Donetsk and now Syria from Western backed slaughter and standing up defiantly against the American war machine, in a way unseen since the untimely demise of my hero, Hugo Chavez.

In spite of his many faults, I believe Vladimir Putin to be an authentic anti-imperialist and in that fight he has my full and unapologetic support. If Putin Wants to take out the trash in Syria, I say hand me a can Vlad, it's about goddamn time.

Who Will Save The Orphans Of Empire?

There has been a great deal of talk about exiles in the media sphere lately. Not the nervous, agoraphobic kind such as myself but the real refugee kind. Desperate, frightened people, fleeing there home countries in what is all to often a hopeless search for safety, elsewhere. Weather we're talking about the Middle Easterners and Africans risking there lives to reach the picturesque and unwelcoming shores of Southern Europe or the Latin Americans currently being demonized by the racial opportunists in the GOP for the unforgivable crime of taking America at its word as being a beacon of hope, freedom and opportunity. Everywhere you look the all knowing, all seeing western media has its unblinking eye fixed squarely on the plight of the dispossessed. But as usual our chosen masters of corporate propaganda have completely missed the fucking point.

These two tragedies of human displacement are not unconnected. They share a common source. All of these aforementioned refugees are the latest orphans of the American empire and as such they are all our responsibility.

The lion share of the refugees pouring across the European continent like a flood of impoverishment are Syrians fleeing the havoc of the Islamic State. A rapidly expanding menace made possible by a civil war manufactured by the United States and it's Arabian and Turkish Quislings.

Like disturbingly similar events in Libya (read "Ready for Killary" below) The Syrian uprising was a violent Islamist insurrection from the beginning, conjured up by a cabal of western trained and funded Jihadists with connections to the Muslim Brotherhood. This prefab chicken shit upheaval, which hardly resembled a goddamn civil war, was all but squashed by the Assad regime inside of a year with the brutal sacking of Homs. That's when Uncle Sam and his Gulf state whores called out the big guns and began covertly arming, training, and sending in Wahhabist holy warriors from around the Muslim world, many fresh from our last little bloodbath in Killary liberated Libya. America played stupid while it's puppets in Turkey, Saudi Arabia and Qatar took most of the flak for re-introducing al-Qaeda to the region. But this wasn't the American Empires first foray into the thunderdome of proxy Jihad. It quickly became painfully obvious to history nerds like myself that our dear old republic was staging another reenactment of our famed Mujaheddin horror show in Afghanistan. (read "Forget Radical Islam, Fight Wahhabism!" below)

This was all prerequisite, of coarse, for another grand American invasion which Obama the pacifist set up with his infamous red line. Warning Assad that the US would only become involved directly if chemical weapons were used. Of coarse, Obama knew full well that Assad wasn't the only one with these weapons of mass destruction. According to our own intelligence, al-Nusra (AKA al-Qaeda) did as well, thanks to there friends and ours in the Turkish military but al-Nusra, with there asses pinned up against the wall by the Syrian Army, were the only ones who had motive to use them. Al-Nusra got the message and sure enough chemical weapons were deployed. Obama automatically blamed Assad without producing a lick of evidence and prepared to invade Syria. The only thing that stopped him from carrying out his plans was the unlikely collaboration of Vladimir Putin, who brilliantly cock blocked Obeezy with a camera friendly peace deal, and everyday american anti-interventionists, who clogged phone lines at the capitol building, demanding there representatives represent them for a change and prevent another bloody quagmire in the Middle East. With his support both at home and abroad dashed to bits Obama was forced to abandon his plans for direct intervention and fall back on his proxy war strategy. He was down but not out. After all Assad had to go, right?

America had more than a few reasons to risk another international catastrophe with its latest proxy war in Syria. The Assad regime had been a mainstay on our shitlist for years. If they weren't giving refuge to the (wrong) Kurds, they were cuddling up to the Russians and the Iranians. When they weren't busy defying our perverted notion of global, free market hegemony with there vulgar sense of Arab nationalism, they were defending there Shiite brothers in Lebanon from Israeli sanctioned Falangist genocide. But Assad and his father's biggest crime, in the eyes of the American Empire, was that they were the worst kind of dictators. The kind not under our payroll. Not to mention the fact that the Baathist regime sat smack dab on the intersection of every major oil pipeline linking Asia to Europe. (probably should've started with that)

So, once again, America called out the wild dogs of holy war and when al-Nusrah and the magic red line weren't enough to overthrow the Syrian government, we poured gas on the fire by introducing our latest Iraqi Frankenstiens in ISIS to the embattled country. All while maintaining our public support for the "moderates" of the Free Syrian Army, which largely served as a kind of minor leagues for the Jihadist pro's. As soon as any "moderate" proved himself on the battlefield he got picked up by the big boys in ISIS or al-Nusrah, often taking heaps of American military hardware with them. You can choose to believe this inevitable chain of events is all just one big coincidence if you wan't but it keeps fucking happening and we keep fucking funding it and we keep fucking funding the known Wahhabist snake pits of Ankara, Doha and Riyadh, The powers at be are all to aware of whats going down and I'm not convinced that it's not exactly what they wanted. As I said before, it wouldn't be the first time, just ask those pedophiles in the Northern Alliance if you don't believe me.

Just like Afghanistan and Libya before it, Syria has been reduced to a living hell. Multiple genocides now loom over the shattered state like cobra's waiting to strike. The Alawites, Christians, Kurds, and Druze are all at risk of being wiped off the map by America's latest monsters and like him or not, embattled strongman Bashar al-Assad is the only thing standing in the way of this tragedy in the making and his position grows weaker day by day, giving these minorities and the Sunnis who refuse to take part in there slaughter little choice but to flee there rapidly approaching demise in what has become the worst refugee crisis since the Second World War.

Some western nations, like Germany, have stepped up to the plate and offered generous refuge to these desperate souls but America, the nation more responsible for this crisis the any other, is not one of them. Since starting this despicable fucking war, The US has only accepted a poultry 1,500 of its refugees. (compared to Germany's pledged million) Lifelong war criminal John Kerry has offered to increase that number by as much as 30,000 but with over four million Syrians and growing seeking shelter from our latest war, that hardly amounts to jack shit.

We see a similar example of imperial callousness a little closer to home on our own southern border with more millions risking there lives in the desert to escape another hellish American experiment in war profiteering.

Since 1971, the United States has waged total war against drugs or at least some drugs. A war that has proven to be as brutal as it is senseless. Over a period of over forty years, tens of trillions of dollars have been dumped into the bottomless coffers of the military and prison industrial complexes with zero discernible effect on the rate of drug abuse in this country or any other but with a catastrophic effect on the rate of violent crime across the globe, creating an entire industry of organized thuggery, devoted entirely to the growth, processing, trafficking and distribution of common plants, used and abused for centuries, free from this level of chaos until it was unleashed by the beasts of prohibition.

These two industries, the industry of selling narcotics and the industry of prohibiting them, are really one. Like professional wrestlers battling each other in a steel cage, there relationship is completely symbiotic. One opponent cannot exert strength without another opponent to willingly receive it and vice versa. They appear to be battling but in reality it is simply a carefully choreographed dance.So it should come as little surprise that the faces of the American Empire have a long and storied history of sharing a bed with the very heels they have pledged to destroy. From the Hmong tribesmen of Indochina to the opium lords of Afghanistan to the Contra death squads of Nicaragua. Much like the War on Terror, the War on Drugs has become such a booming industry that the US has gotten into the business of creating monsters just so they can charge hardworking tax payers a fee to destroy them. The result of this bloody shell game, aside from piles of money, is piles of bodies.

In few places have these piles grown taller or more grotesque then in the failed narco state of Mexico. America spends tens of billions of dollars every year to prop up a government our own intelligence readily admits is thoroughly infested with the cartels there supposedly at war with. We send literally tons of weapons. Rifles, grenades, machine guns, armored vehicles, much of which inevitably ends up in the hands of the gangsters. So we send even more guns to destroy those gangsters (sound familiar) and so it goes, with the war profiteers who lobby Washington for this shit making a mint and the innocent people of Mexico caught in the crossfire of a shit storm  that they have done nothing to deserve.

While the thugs in Sinaloa and Washington count there money, the Mexican people count decapitated heads in there streets and pray they don't stumble across one belonging to someone they love. Is it any wonder they flee in the billions to the relative safety of the United States? Wouldn't you?

Like the now stateless orphans of Syria, these people are refugees, not Illegals, not even migrants but refugees, fleeing a seemingly endless tragedy that we created and continue to perpetuate. And what do these refugees do? Do they beg and demand the restitution they so richly deserve from the American Empire that screwed them? No. They work. They work there fucking asses off, building our houses, cooking our food, tending to our lawns and making our cushy, lily white lives better and easier, one back breaking, thankless chore at a time. And how do we fucking thank them? By harassing, humiliating and belittling them. By rounding them up like loose cattle, taring apart there families and sending them straight back to the hell holes we created for them.

And I'm not just talking about the Republicans either. The Democrats are even worse. Selling the Latino community false promises, building stunning electoral victories on there shoulders and then deporting them in higher numbers then any Republican regime ever has. If the GOP wasn't so goddamned racist there would be no Latino Democrats. Put that on a fucking hat, Trump!

The point I'm attempting to make with this latest rant, dearest motherfuckers, is that both of these refugee crises are the same in that both of them were made possible by our dear old empires unquenchable thirst for conquest and greed at the expense of the worlds poor. We destroyed Syria and we corrupted mexico, leaving legions of stateless orphans in our wake.

Any American with half a soul needs to realize that all of these refugees are our fucking responsibility. The very least we can do for them is give them a place to crash for proverbial weekend. That and attempt to ween ourselves off of the addiction to international violence that left them homeless in the first place.

America should match Germany's one million refugees and fucking double it, for starters. The Syrian people are smart, tough, educated and industrious, we could use a little of all that in this country. We should also do right by giving full amnesty to our displaced neighbors from south of the border if there still willing to forgive us and join this crazy fucking country. I for one would be proud to call them Americans.

I know what your gonna say, "How the hell do we pay for this, Nick?", glad you asked, that parts simple. End the fruitless trillion dollar boondoggles we call the War on Terror and the War on Drugs and try waging peace for a fucking change. It's surprisingly affordable and no one has to get there head blown off.

It's not fucking rocket science, dearest motherfuckers. It's just called doing the right thing. give it a shot. Only we can save the orphans of empire.

Nittany Valley Uber Alles

Well, dearest motherfuckers, it's another football season here in Happy fucking Hell. That disgusting time of the year that the parasitic Paternoites here in Central Pennsylvania hold so near and dear. Another year of tailgating and fantasy foolishness. Another year of shallow victory and deep oceans of alcohol. Another year of wallowing in joyful ignorance and learning absolutely fucking nothing and I feel sick.

How many years has it been? My Lyme fried brain can't seem to recall anymore. Not long enough, apparently, because it still feels like yesterday. Forty some childhoods torn to ribbons by the cruel savagery of Jerry Sandusky and and the cold calculated indifference of his still beloved handler, Joe Paterno. Jerry is all but forgotten, erased, wiped clean from this counties selective memory, as if that foul beast never even existed. But not Paterno. Old Jo-Pa is more alive then he's ever been. In death his legend has only grown. The great, glorious god of football who's shadow blankets this loathsome place in a din of ignorance rarely seen outside of third world dictatorships.

Take a brisk autumn walk through the picturesque streets of downtown State College and Joe's presence quickly becomes unavoidable (trust me, I've tried). His army of infinite portraits look over every square inch of livable space, holding his happy fucking hermit kingdom trapped eternally in the prison of his steely bespectacled gaze. In those dead paper eyes we are all Jo-Pa's children and Jo-Pa's children aim to please there undead master.

Restoring the wins, Revising history and drinking themselves stupid on Joe Paterno brand beer. What victims? There are no victims. Only conquest, victory and bowl eligibility. Never mind the sobbing children bleeding from unspeakable places, there tortured cries barely audible over the newly restored roar of Beaver Stadium. Who wants to bother with such ugliness when we have statues to rebuild and legacies to maintain.

So what if Joe Paterno knew everything. So what if he did nothing for god knows how long. So what if he continued to entertain that monster in the sanctity of the household where he raised his own fucking children. Who fucking cares about anything. Like that rotting old shit crowed from his doorway before he finally dropped dead, "WE ARE PENN STATE!". We can't be bothered with such unpleasant details. It's all lies after all, at least according Jo-Pa's vile widow. We'll just do what she did, deny the facts and sweep them under our Nittany Lion rugs, like Germans in Auschwitz, hiding acrid clouds of billowing black smoke behind doily Bavarian curtains. We'll deny, we'll deny, we'll deny, deny, deny and we'll all get good and drunk and watch some fucking football.

Who are we? What the hell have we become? What happened to this town I use to proudly call my own? Has it always been this way? Have I been blind half my life? When did team spirit and hometown pride become a disease that strips us of our most basic sense of humanity and dignity? I grew up with these fucking people. Have they all become monsters or have I just become more human somehow? Did my years of self imposed isolation make me somehow immune to there sickness? How can I save people who have no will to change? How the hell do I reason with people who prefer there delusions of grandeur over reality.

I have no answers to these questions and having to ask them over and over, as much to myself as anybody else, makes me feel sick inside but I can't just sit idly by and ignore the ugliness of this place I call home or the people I once loved. You can't just go on denying the past and never expect to repeat it. Jerry Sandusky raped over forty innocent children and Joe Paterno and the university he loved covered it up and even worse this community continues to do the same damn thing while celebrating the unrepentant criminals in spite of there crimes against humanity.

Until these harsh truths are excepted and these demons are exorcised, Nittany Valley doesn't deserve to have its precious fucking football team or the dirty money it brings with it. Far from going too far, the NCAA didn't go far enough. Penn State should have been given the death penalty and you can fucking quote me on that.

Repent! State College, repent! For the love of god, repent! Until you do, this native son won't give you one moments peace.