Saturday, December 19, 2015

16 People Who Don't Suck!

In case you fine folks haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a people person. Its not that I don't like people. I just don't like most of them. By my rough estimate, I would say that roughly 70 to 80 percent of people suck, for lack of a better word, at least in my experience. So naturally if a frankly anti-social curmudgeon, such as myself, decides to write a blog it's probably going to be pretty fucking negative and I stand by that. I like to say, in this world we live in, if your not a pessimist then your not paying attention. But, with that being said and seeing as it's that time of the year and this will probably be my last post of that year, I figured I'd give positivity a try. Earlier this year I wrote a particularly nihilistic piece called "My Shit List", where I gave you, my very dearest motherfuckers, a list of 15 people I absolutely despise. So for this post I'm going to do the opposite plus one. 16 people who don't suck! A short list of people I actually admire, adore and, occasionally, out right love. People who I think might just make this dirty shit-ball of a planet a slightly more livable place. Now, as with the Shit List, plenty of my choices are libel to piss the average motherfucker off a bit. These aren't ass-kissers or people-pleasers. There mavericks and iconoclasts and originals and I wouldn't love them if they weren't a little dangerous. So without further ado, I give you, dearest motherfuckers, 16 people who don't suck.


* JEREMY CORBYN- Who better to start this list of professional ass-kickers then the man who's become the biggest thorn in the Queen Mum's wrinkled, incontinent ass. After hopeless decades of limp-wristed Fabian pussies and money grubbing neoliberal jackals, the Labor Party, the current official Opposition and one of Great Britain's two most powerful political cabals, woke up to a new morning and elected Jeremy Corbyn, a committed ant-imperialist and lifelong socialist with a capital S, to the position of the parties leader by a colossal landslide.

 It seems like no one saw it coming except the wily old anti-warrior himself and his supporters. After securing barely enough nominations from his fellow Labor MP's to even make the ballot, England's notoriously despicable mass media had a fucking field day mocking the very idea of a legitimate leftist leading the long embattled left in there dreary island nation. But Corbyn had the last laugh when the common people had spoken and said enough is enough with this watered down Miliband/Blair bullshit, we want someone who wont just represent us but who is one of us and that's precisely what they got.

 Jeremy Corbyn isn't some phony fucking charlatan like America's favorite pseudo-socialist gadfly Bernie Sanders. He's the real fucking deal with a spotless career record to prove it. A man who has dedicated his entire life to breaking all the right rules for all the right reasons. A man who hasn't just dedicated himself to fighting for the working folks in his own neck of the woods but who's waged a tireless crusade for the oppressed in every corner of the globe from Northern Ireland to Palestine to Apartheid South Africa to the Chagos Islands and despite the unbridled animosity of the Quislings in his own sell-out party or perhaps even because of it, the tough old bastard has made it crystal fucking clear that he isn't about to give up his street fighting ways. He's going to continue to raise holy hell for as long as his two legs can stand. Corbyn may or may not be the UK's next Prime Minister but he isn't about to sit on his hands either way. He's already spoken out gallantly against Britain's pointless military involvement in Syria and has fearlessly called out NATO for it's apocalyptic misadventures in Ukraine, even going so far as to call for the UK's exit from the organization, quite literally scaring the shit out of chicken-hawks on both sides of the pond. This ain't your daddies Labor. No sir, this is a whole new game of cricket and my man Jeremy swings a mean fucking bat.


* CHELSEA MANNING- When my dear Chelsea was still living a lie as Bradley she took an oath, as a US soldier to defend the Constitution against all enemies both foreign and domestic and that is precisely what Chelsea has done at the expense of her own life and freedom.

As Army Private Bradley Manning, Chelsea served this country as an intelligence analyst, sifting through heaps of classified documents. After discovering, to her horror, that not only was there a staggering amount of evidence strongly suggesting routine American war crimes in both Afghanistan and Iraq but that her superiors could care less, Chelsea made the bold, selfless decision to leak these documents to the American people via Wikileaks.

What ensued was a shit-storm of epic proportions, as American's, such as myself, watched leaked footage of American gunships slaughtering unarmed journalists in cold blood and then opening fire on an innocent family of good Samaritans who tried to rescue the wounded. All while there killers hooted and hollered like middle-school bullies at a pep-rally and that was just the tip of the bloody iceberg. There were mountains of files, both classified and unclassified, detailing over a decades worth of merciless carnage and treachery perpetrated by the US and its allies in the Middle East and beyond. These documents not only informed and enraged Americans, they also lit a spark in some of America's favorite dictatorships, inspiring kids from Tunisia to Bahrain to rise up against the corrupt puppets who raped them on behalf of the US dollar in what would become known as the Arab Spring.

For all this truth Chelsea had to pay. Once caught she was subjected to a year of solitary confinement under carefully controlled conditions designed to break a brave soldier with a known history of mental illness. Finally, after months of this heartless psychological torture, Chelsea plead guilty to 10 of the 22 charges leveled against her, possibly saving herself from the death penalty. She was ultimately found guilty of 17 of the charges and sentenced to 35 years in the brigs of Fort Leavenworth with a chance of parole after 8. A sentence which everyone from Amnesty International to Reporters Without Borders has condemned for being completely over the top.

As if all that wasn't brave enough Manning still had one lie left to expose, the presumed man then known as Bradley decided to introduce an already polarized nation to Chelsea, coming out as an open trans-woman the day after sentencing, knowing full well the risks she could face being a woman surrounded by caged men for the next few decades. I don't give a shit what anybody says. Forget the fucking genitals. Chelsea Manning is the bravest woman on earth. SHE is a true martyr for the truth, in all its many uncomfortable and inconvenient forms.


* EVO MORALES- In the pantheon of current world leaders you'll find a seemingly endless carousel of Quislings, gangsters and outright psychopaths but then there's Bolivia's Evo Morales. The son of indigenous Aymara peasants, Evo began his meteoric rise to power not as a banker or a lawyer but as a coca grower and trade unionist. After leading a grass-roots coalition of cocalero campesinos to successfully fight a US hatched plot to eradicate Bolivia's coca industry as part of there bankrupt War On Drugs, never mind the fact that millions of the nations poorest citizens depend on the coca crop to survive, Evo used his new found celebrity to launch a successful congressional campaign and soon found himself the leader of the Movement For Socialism party in 1995. Seven years later he was expelled from congress for encouraging protests against the city of Cochabamba's privatization of its peoples water supply and four years after that Evo Morales became Bolivia's first Indigenous president, riding the revolutionary wave of Bolivarianism started by his friend and comrade, Hugo Chavez.

In the years that followed, the once destitute and hopelessly corrupt nation of Bolivia has experienced a veritable Renaissance that's nothing short of miraculous. With an increased hydrocarbon tax, Evo has raised the standard of living in his country to once unthinkable heights, fighting the illiteracy, poverty, racism and sexism that once held Bolivia hostage. Evo's revolutionary program of Evonomics, which rejected the neoliberal gangsterism of the World Bank in favor of a mixed economy, has lead to unprecedented economic growth but Evo didn't stop with Bolivia. He's taken his folksy brand of populist Iconoclasm to the world stage, leading the Third World fight for climate justice and an end to western imperial hegemony, not to mention helping to inspire a whole generation of Latin American leftists to fight for the liberty they deserve. Evo Morales is proof positive that not only do the good guys still sometimes win but that they can kick some fucking ass while there at it.


* NICOLA STURGEON- The Scottish independence movement fell on some dark days after Yes Scotland's failure to win the 2014 referendum which would have granted them the sovereignty they've long fought for. The Scottish National Parties fiery leader, Alex Salmond, stepped down in defeat and a beautiful dream, centuries in the making, to free Scotland from the yoke of English subjugation seemed to be in tatters. As a proud Irish American, I took a bit of a personal interest in this fight and when it failed it broke my heart. It seemed like the Celtic people were forever damned to live in the shadow of the crown.

Then from the ashes of defeat rose Salmond's second in command, A twin-fisted, red headed lassie named Nicola Sturgeon, who took the helm as the Scottish National Parties first female leader and not only rallied the troops but led them to a staggering, landslide victory in the 2015 general elections, taking 56 of Scotlands 59 seats and quite literally wiping the glad-handing pussies of the Labor Party off the fucking map, giving them the wake up call they desperately needed and paving the way for comrade Corbyn's own victory.

The shameless parasites of London's vilest tabloids can yelp as loud as they want. They can cook up a billion lies to slander Nicola's bloody good fucking name because as long as that tireless arse-kicker is leading Scotland, the dream of independence lives on for all of us or as she put it herself, its a matter of when, not if.

* QUENTIN TARANTINO- There are few things more dreadfully boring and predictable then a modern day Hollywood blockbuster. But every rule has its exception and the one exception to Hollywood's interminable banality is named Quentin Tarantino. Over the last twenty-something years, Tarantino has lit up Hollywood like a Norwegian church fire. Breaking every fucking rule in the book with the sadistic glee of one of his movies anti-heroes. No human alive today has done more to bring the underground into the mainstream without watering it down a drop.

Tarantino is the cinematic equivalent of Kurt Cobain, only Quentin didn't call it quits in '94. He was just getting started. His films are a caustic witches brew of high and lowbrow influences, mixing the fearless ingenuity of the Sorbonne with the shameless mischief of 42nd Street. Quentin Tarantino is the reason I still go to the movies.

* ABDULLAH OCALAN- It's often said and not incorrectly so that there are few good guys left in the Middle East. I believe one of those few to be Abdullah Ocalan. The imprisoned founder and ideological leader of the Kurdistan Workers Party(PKK) and the Group of Communities in Kurdistan(KCK) and in many ways the godfather of the modern Kurdish independence movement.

Ocalan began his revolutionary career as a fearless guerrilla of the Che Guevara variety, launching a bloody Marxist war for Kurdish independence from there long time oppressors in Ankara. After years on the run, Ocalan was finally captured by Turkish Intelligence and there CIA handlers in Nairobi. Initially sentenced to death, his sentence was commuted to life after Turkey abolished its death penalty in a ploy to get into the EU's good graces. Ocalan was sent off to the desolate island fortress of Imrali Island where he remained the soul prisoner for the next decade.

This should have been the end of Abdullah's story but it ended up being only the beginning. After years of isolation with nothing to do but read and think (I've been there) Abdullah began communicating with the outside world with a new message. He denounced his former tactics and called for diplomacy and independent investigations into war crimes committed by both sides of the war. He also dropped his former doctrinaire Marxist-Leninist stance in favor of a new brand of libertarian socialism, called democratic confederalism, influenced by his correspondence with American anarchist Murray Bookchin. Part of this new philosophy was a solution to the Kurdish question that called for a border-free confederation of semi-autonomous direct democracies encompassing the Kurdish regions of Turkey, Syria, Iraq and Iran. Proving the validity of his new commitment to diplomacy, Ocalan helped broker the short lived ceasefire with Turkey in 2013 but also wasn't afraid to call for a pragmatic return to action after Sultan Erdogan breached the contract with his cowardly attacks on the PKK and there Syrian affiliates in the YPG this year. As Ocalan has stated the "PKK is as ready for peace as it is for war" and I believe Abdullah's plans for peace could help save the Middle East if given the chance to succeed.

 A strong Kurdish confederation could create a mountainous wall between Erdogan and the rest of the Middle East which he seems hell bent on destroying with his ISIS cronies. It could also become a neutral, secular center for regional peace, A sort of Middle Eastern Switzerland connecting Syria, Iraq, Iran and a preferably Erdoganless Turkey while also keeping them at arms length from each other with a safe buffer zone that's very existence would be completely dependent on there unity and harmony. I believe only one man can make this happen. I believe Abdullah Ocalan could very well be the Middle Easts answer to Nelson Mandela.

* JUSTIN RAIMONDO- If your reading this right now you probably have Justin Raimondo to thank for it. His cyber-baby, antiwar.com or more specifically its excellent blog has given this agoraphobic Marxist a forum to vent and be herd. The fact that Justin is a fervent paleolibertarian who probably wouldn't lay a red rose on Marx's grave if you payed him in gold bullion is only a testament to the power of his brilliant journalism and antiwar's message to bring anti-imperialists of every stripe together in a united front against the pitiless American war machine. Sadly, I don't really have any fucking money since the state of Pennsylvania doesn't consider being a Lyme infested, shut-in, basket case reason enough to provide me disability. But if you have a little extra Christmas change this year, consider throwing a coin or two to my favorite libertarians over at antiwar.com. God knows they can use every fucking cent they can get and America can definitely use them around for a healthy dose of the fucking truth. Thank you Justin, for everything.

* EDWARD SNOWDEN- Way back in the year of our lord, twenty-hundred and thirteen Edward Snowden had it fucking made. A gorgeous girlfriend, a house in the Edenesque paradise of Oahu and a six figure job as a private contractor for the NSA. Yep, life was pretty fucking sweet but then Ed decided to sacrifice it all and become an international fugitive from the most powerful empire on earth and why make this colossal sacrifice, you ask? For you, you ungrateful lazy fucks! Edward Snowden discovered that his government, your government, was rapidly devolving into an Orwellian nightmare state and made the brave, selfless choice to sacrifice his sweet fucking life in paradise to educate you fools. So be fucking grateful this Christmas. We may live under constant NSA surveillance but at least now, thanks to Snowden, we fucking know about it. The emperor officially has no clothes. Your move America.

* DANIEL JOHNSTON- Daniel Johnston may go down in history as the worlds most unlikely rock star. A bipolar, schizophrenic, former mental patient recording his own albums with a chord organ and a $59 boombox in his parents Texas basement. But Johnston's sincere garage pop songs of unrequited love and mental illness have touched millions and influenced everyone from Kurt Cobain to Lana Del Rey, not to mention your favorite muckraking blogger and wanna-be gonzo superstar. If a diamond in the rough like Daniel Johnston can make it, why not me, why not all of us.

* ANGELA DAVIS- Before this dear blogger was a commie or even a radical he was an awkward pubescent boy with few friends and far to much time to flip through his parents moldy old back issues of Newsweek and Time magazine. In these crumbling, yellowed pages a young, bored pervert discovered a bold chocolate goddess named Angela Davis, a communist radical who took on the man and won and looked damn fine doing it. My discovery of sweet Angela, as the Stones called her, was not only my introduction to a lifelong love affair with bad-ass women (and Afros), it was also my first introduction to Feminism and the Black Liberation Movement, two movements that would ultimately shape my character in a far more profound way then any fetish for groovy hairstyles ever could and I am very happy to inform you, dearest motherfuckers, since those halcyon days of seventies radical chic, Angela hasn't slowed down a step, If anything she's only gotten bolder with age, taking on everything from the prison industrial complex to Louis Farrakhan's sexist spectacle, the Million Man March and she hasn't lost the 'fro either but you know what they say, black don't crack and in Angela's case black cracks back with a fucking wallop.

* HARMONY KORINE- By far America's most dangerously subversive director, Harmony Korine hasn't just kept American art house cinema alive, he's given it teeth. Harmony's meteoric rise to infamy began in the most unlikeliest of places. As a 22 year old college dropout and aspiring pro-skater, he was spotted skateboarding with some friends in New York by famed renegade photographer Larry Clark, who asked the young cinephile on a whim to help him write a script for a movie about teenage skaters and AIDS. Three weeks later, Harmony handed him the screenplay for Kids, which would become one of the most provocative and iconic films of the 1990's. With Kids on his resume, Harmony managed to get the million dollars to make his masterpiece, 1997's Gummo, a movie so strange, frightening and beautiful that I wont even attempt to explain it. I can only tell you that it is, without a shadow of  a doubt, one of the ten greatest films, of any genre, that I've ever seen. And Harmony has continued his reign of terror from there with ground breaking pieces like 1999's Dogme tour-de-force Julien Donkey-Boy and his latest feature, the gonzo girlie-gangster flick Spring Breakers, in which he transforms Disney teenie-boppers like Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens into AK wielding, bikini-clad, post-feminist anti-heroes, weaponizing there sexuality and using it to blow away any man in there wake. A truly great artist should be dangerous and it doesn't get more dangerous than Harmony Korine.

* SEYMOUR HERSH- Seymour Hersh is kinda like the David Bowie of investigative journalism, he's been around forever and he's still blowing our fucking minds. If your unfamiliar with Hersh's massive body of work then your far to fucking ignorant for this blog and I kindly suggest you take a jaunty stroll into holiday traffic but before you do let me remind you. Seymour Hersh is the man who exposed the My-Lai Massacre and it's cover up. Seymour Hersh is the man who informed us that Cheney was running Abu-Ghraib like a racist Marquis De Sade. Seymour Hersh is the man who revealed Bill Clinton's disgusting bombing of Sudan's Al-Shifa pharmaceutical factory for the grotesque crime against humanity it was. Seymour Hersh is the man who revealed that it was likely Killarie's darlings in Al-Nusrah and not Assad who crossed Obama's red line with the Ghouta chemical attacks and Seymour Hersh is the man who ripped the lid off of Obama's photo-op hit job against Bin Laden. Seymour Hersh is the man who separates the truth from the bullshit our derelict government and there parrots in the media feed us. Sound familiar yet? Now go play in traffic with the rest of the Trump supporters.

* GLENN GREENWALD- Real journalists are a dying breed in this country. As I said above, we've still got Hersh but at 78, lets face it, he probably doesn't have much more then a decade left in him, at best (sorry Seymour) and who will take his place, fighting Quixotically against the high tide of government approved horse-shit that passes for journalism in this dying empire of ours. Only two names immediately come to mind. One is Matt Taibbi just down stairs from this entry. The other and arguably the most important (sorry Matt) is former lawyer and dedicated constitutionalist, Glenn Greenwald. There's a reason Ed Snowden picked Greenwald to disseminate evidence of America's burgeoning police state, because he knew that any other so called journalist would sell him out to there masters in the State Department the first chance they got. Greenwald was the one man he could trust in print journalism and he's the one man we can trust too. Unfortunately Greenwald is trapped in exile in Rio, to afraid of being prosecuted and persecuted for doing his goddamn job to go home. It's a sick, sad, sorry irony that one of Americas greatest journalists is persona non grata in his own fucking country.

* MATT TAIBBI- As I said above, there are two journalists America can rely on besides Seymour Hersh. One is Glenn Greenwald. The other is this crazy fuck. After he cut his teeth as a founding co-editor of Russia's gonzotastic English language ex-pat rag, the Exile, which may go down in history as the most bug-fuck avante garde paper to litter the streets of Moscow since Iskra, Taibbi did his damnedest to fill the 45 caliber void left in Hunter S. Thompson's wake at Rolling Stone, as the magazines resident muckraker. But Matt didn't truly hit his stride until he set his sights on the gangsters of Wall Street. No one has been more fearless, more relentless, more brutal and more goddamn hilarious in his fervent jihad against those fucking vultures then Taibbi. Weather he's a smack-hound punk pissing on Yeltsin's grave or the new go to source for all things foul with crony capitalism, Matt Taibbi is always one thing often forgotten by even the finest journalists, entertaining. I'd like to think I'm swimming in the chunky, sea cow chummed waters of his gonzo swift-boat. I should be so lucky.

* COURTNEY LOVE- My undying admiration for this one woman weapon of mass destruction seems to confound everyone I meet, so I'll try to put it as simply as humanly possible for you people with just three little words- she's still here- after everything she's been through and everything she's been put through- she's still fucking here- child abuse, abandonment, addiction, suicide, mental illness and nearly full spectrum vilification and she's still here and not only is she still here, shes still thriving, fearless, brilliant, unbowed and above all else totally unapologetic. No one has been counted out more times then Courtney and no one has risen more times from the fucking ashes to prove all of the doubters and haters wrong then Courtney. It is this dogged strength and abject refusal to play by anyone else's rules but her own that has made Courtney's fans the most loyal die-hards on the fucking planet. We're all freaks like her. The outcasts, the trash, the junkies, the head cases, the sluts, the stepped on and spat upon and we're all still here. Courtney, through her art and her conviction, has given us not only the strength to survive our own demons. She's given us the strength to be proud of our transgressions and to be empowered by the fact that we survived them. And she's given us the courage to demand the respect that we deserve as individuals and to eviscerate anyone who stands in our way.  Courtney Love once said of her friends in the Portland drag community that they introduced her to her inner bitch and she ran with her. I want to thank Courtney, from the bottom of my bleeding heart, for introducing me to my inner bitch. A freak like me couldn't ask for a better Christmas present.

* NICK REID- I know, I know, it's a bit self indulgent to put myself on this list but I've been through a lot since I started this blog almost a year ago. I've gone from a hopelessly lonely shut-in who couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel with a fucking telescope to a person who now faces the outside world with the trauma-forged courage of a survivor and grain of hope in my pocket. Maybe that doesn't make me a hero but I do think that at least gives me the right to proclaim proudly and unequivocally that I Nick Reid, in spite of what my latent mental illness would have me believe, do not suck and if you've stuck by me this long in my adventures in this boundless void called cyber-space then neither do you and maybe there's hope for this wretched species after all.

Merry Christmas, dearest motherfuckers and a Happy New Year.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Breaking Daesh

This post should have been done weeks ago but what can I say, November has been one motherfucker of a month and this learning disabled anti-imperialist has had one hell of a time trying to keep up with the madness. It seems like every time I thought I had this months shifting ISIS narrative figured out, another rug was pulled from beneath my feet and the story changed shape completely. I have little doubt that this will probably happen at least two or three more times as I write and type this up but I cant hold this off forever and I have some things that need to be said. So fuck it twice, here we go.

This month started with a terrifying sequence of bangs. In the span of about two weeks ISIS or IS or Daesh or whoever the fuck they identify as this second blew up a Russian airliner over Egypt's Sinai Peninsula, killing all 224 people on board, set off twin suicide bombs in a Hezbollah friendly suburb of Beirut, leaving another 43 dead and hundreds injured, and then, as if that weren't enough, the gruesome icing on this three tiered cake of blood and guts, there was the epic assault on the City of Light.

Over a span of just hours, 130 people were wiped out across Paris in a demonic orgy of violence that puts the Manson Family to shame. Guns, bombs, cafes, a theater, hostages, executions, suicide. Nearly all the casualties were just kids, my age or younger, including the dead eyed assassins. They were all innocent, no cops, no soldiers, no politicians, not even a single race bating cartoonist. Just kids, out to have fun, to get laid, to get stoned, to fall in love, to listen to music, to be young. A totally senseless act of cruel, naked nihilism. Brainwashed butchers punishing the citizens of a country that helped create them before realizing, too late, that they've created a beast beyond there control.

Based on the screaming headlines, you could be forgiven to mistake this bombastic, tricontinental rampage as a sign of the growing power of Daesh. The reality, however, is quite the contrary. Ever since Putin began his decisive assault against the scourge of radical Wahhabism/Salafism in Syria, the masked cowards of the so called Islamic State and there Al-Qaeda brethren have been on the run. The PKK have taken back the Yezedi capitol of Sinjar, cutting the main highway connecting the Islamic States two major cities, Raqqa and Mosul, in half. The PKK's comrades in the YPG have captured the main border crossing of Tal Abyad, essentially cementing there control of nearly half of the Turkish border while Assad's resurgent soldiers bring up the rear, slowly taking the other half from the coast eastward. Closing the primary ISIS supply line like a slow, crushing vice.

But perhaps most devastating of all was the Syrian Armies, Russian backed, victory at the strategic northern military airbase in Kuweires, where some 250 brave Syrian soldiers had held off a Dien Bien Phu style siege of thousands of heavily armed ISIS commandos for more then two and a half fucking years. With a little help from there friends in Hezbollah and the Iranian Revolutionary Guard, Assad's Heroes not only managed to take back the base, freeing the 250, but killed hundreds of Daesh-bags in the process.

So as ISIS saw there desert kingdom crumble like a sand castle beneath Shiite boots, they lashed out violently like the rabid little cowards they are against whatever civilians there NATO supplied bullets could reach. Essentially a temper tantrum for mass murderers, likely aimed at riling the west into stupidly throwing more guns into there snake pit. And rile they did, with there grotesque acts of bombastic street theater, showering Egypt, Lebanon and France with the severed limbs of the innocent.

My own emotions ran the gamut as I watched these heartbreaking events unfold through the crass prism of 24/7 cable news. Disgust, disbelief, sorrow, anger and oddly enough a macabre, paper thin sliver of hope. The silver lining framing the mushroom cloud. Maybe, just maybe this terrible triad of massacres will finally slap some fucking sense into the leaders of Europe and North America. That this isn't a fucking game anymore, if it ever was to begin with. I prayed that the Barack Obama's and Francois Hollande's of this world would see these shocking images of urban horror and realize that it isn't fucking worth it to arm and empower these jihadi cunts and there fellow travelers just to overthrow one more secular dictator and stick it to Russia. Maybe now this madness will stop and the west will back the fuck off and let Russia, Iran and Hezbollah cleanse the deserts of the Levant with the blazing fire of former victims armed to destroy there tormentors once and for all. Maybe the Christian world will finally realize that there true enemies aren't in Tehran and Moscow but Riyadh and Ankara and Wall Street. Maybe, just maybe, I hoped. Maybe, just maybe.

Sounds foolish, right. That was my second reaction to my own train of thought, too. That and maybe, just maybe I'll wake up in Mila Kunis' bed tomorrow with Ashton Kutcher's severed head impaled on my three foot hard on. I quickly found myself quoting one of my journalistic heroes, Alexander Cockburn (no pun intended), asking myself "Wheres your bullshit detector, Nick?" but then the damnedest fucking thing happened. Europe rediscovered there rationality, or so it appeared. After making the typically childish, macho grunts about waging a "pitiless war", the usually spineless President Francois Hollande took uncharacteristically brave steps towards forging a union between France and Russia, speaking of a "grand coalition" dedicated to destroying ISIS rather then simply "containing" them and Francois wasn't the only frog to rediscover his balls beneath the growing heap of French corpses. Former Republican President and fellow stalwart imperialist Nicolas Sarkozy similarly called for an alliance with Russia, proclaiming emphatically, "There cannot be two coalitions in Syria". Could there be hope for the French after all. Were these two careerist pussies both visited in the night by the ghost of Charles De Gaul and shown tableau's of Fifth Republic past, present and future.

Then again, after re-consulting with my trusty bullshit detector, I came to the much more likely conclusion that these two men, the leaders of Frances traditional post-war political powerhouses, the Republicans and the Socialists, recognized the threat to there political futures posed not by ISIS but by the meteoric rise of the National Front's Marine Le Pen, who has openly called for collaboration with Putin on the Syrian issue for months now. The irony of a female racist reintroducing the supposedly multi-cultural Hollande and Sarkozy to there own testicles is not lost on this left-wing feminist. Oh well, fuck it, progress is progress. Two steps forward, one step back.

Sadly there was little to no progress on the American front. In spite of President Obama's refusal to chum the war thirsty "liberal" media with promises of total war in Syria, he still stood by the same old, stupid party line of bashing Putin and calling for Assad to hand over the keys to his country to Barack's charming "moderate" jihadists which, since the beginning of Russia's bombing campaign, now officially including Al-Nusrah aka Al-Qaeda in Syria. Never the less, I still took great joy in watching the liberal wunderkind bicker with the same ass kissers who sainted him, for not "getting those bastards", at the G-20 summit in Antalya, Turkey. But Putin was the real star of the summit, informing his squirming audience of hypocritical sycophants that he had solid evidence that not only was ISIS being funded by at least 40 different nations but several of them were members of the G-20. Putin didn't name names, yet. But he didn't have to after providing his next exhibit. Irrefutable satellite imagery showing ISIS oil tankers filing directly into Turkey by the thousands. Proving that not only was ISIS being directly funded by the summits gracious host (with Sultan Erdogan's own son involved with the shipping) but that the evidence to prove this was easily attainable by any nation with a satellite focused on the region I.E. Turkey's handlers in Washington. Putin calmly played this game of connect the dots before the international community like a Slavic Perry Mason, leaving the room with the confidence of a disrespected lawman vindicated by his own hard earned evidence. Days later, with there hands tied, the United States launched it's first air strike on ISIS' Turkish bound convoy wiping out 116 of Erdogan's trucks to save face but only after giving them an unprecedented 45 minutes notice to get there vehicles across the border. It appeared that Master Putin had once again served America up another ass slapping check mate in there own crooked chess game but then the story changed shape again and the rug was yanked violently beneath the worlds feet.

Only days after Turkey's public caning at the hands of Putin, the new Ottomans enjoyed there petty, bloody revenge, shooting down a Russian bomber on the Syrian side of a border they had already arbitrarily and illegally moved in 2012. The two pilots, managed to parachute out at the last second only to come under heavy gunfire, in a clear war crime, as they descended to earth. There attackers? Al-Qaeda linked Turkmen rebels being led by a member of Turkey's notorious, CIA trained, racist militia, the Grey Wolves. One pilot was murdered before his bullet riddled corpse could hit the ground where the putrid buzzards posed for pictures and propaganda videos with there ill gotten trophy of lily-dicked bitch cowardice. His co-pilot was rescued by a crew of Russian and Syrian commandos but not before Barack's precious Free Syrian Army downed a Russian rescue helicopter with an American TOW missile, killing a Russian Marine in the process (BTW my grandfather was a Marine so the whole Free Syrian Army can eat dicks in hell for eternity).

And we're supposed to believe this was all just a big mistake brought on by Russia's selfish insistence on saving Syria from jihadi fucked hell, whoopsy daisy! Bull fucking shit! This shit was fucking planned and dollars to donuts Sultan Erdogan wasn't the mastermind. Even if we're to believe Turkey's claim that the bomber crossed into Turkish airspace, by there own admission this breach lasted 19 seconds. Hardly enough time to justify a shoot down under the terms of international law. Shit! it's not even enough time to make a supposedly random, spur of the moment attack possible. And we're also supposed to believe that a death squad of Turkish trained and led Turkmen just happened to be there, waiting beneath the wreckage, machine guns and camera's at the ready to slaughter any survivors and capture it on tape alongside there American armed comrades in the FSA. Just one, big, happy, bloody co-inky dink and on the day before Francois Hollande was slated to meet with Vladimir Putin to discuss collaborating against ISIS. What are the odds?!!

And speaking of coincidences. Who was Mr. Hollande meeting with that very day? None other then our dear leader, Barack Obama, who took the time to warn the French President against getting to close to Putin. And who just happened to be in Ankara that day? None other then former Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral James Winnefield but I'm sure he was just in town to enjoy the kebab and cheap prostitutes.

Do you smell the Devil yet or do you need another "coincidence" to connect the dots. How about the fact that the only other country outside the Russian coalition who had been given the precise flight paths for that day was the United States. Putin shared them with us in hopes of avoiding just such a tragic incident. So only one country new exactly where to set the trap, where the jet was most likely to breach a highly contentious border, and exactly when to pull the trigger, exactly when to twist the knife in Russia's back for fucking up America's latest regime change conspiracy. Only one country could have pulled off this depraved act of attempted diplomatic sabotage and this pissed off blogger is sitting in it.

So what have we learned this November, dearest motherfuckers? We've learned that ISIS has finally fulfilled  the Bush era prophecy of an international terrorist menace capable of wreaking havoc across multiple continents, thanks to more then a little help from there supposed enemies in the US of A. We've learned that Europe can still be reasoned with in the wake blood drenched mass tragedies but America is so possessed with imperial hubris that no massacre is gruesome enough to activate there humanity, that is, if it even exists anymore. We've learned that Turkey's relationship with ISIS has become so intimate that the two have become virtually indistinguishable from each other. And perhaps most importantly we've learned that NATO's twisted obsession with destroying Russia has become so maniacal that there willing to risk World War 3 to achieve it.

ISIS needs to be annihilated with extreme fucking prejudice and it's probably going to take an international coalition to do it but any coalition that includes states that actively collaborate with Islamic jihadists is damned to perpetual failure. The free world must break all ties with the terror factory of NATO and its minions in Erdogan's Turkey if we ever wanna break Daesh.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Taking Back Pro-Life

I have confessed to being some pretty radical things on this blog. I have confessed to being a Christian who questions the existence of god. I have confessed to being a die-hard Marxist with strong anarchist tendencies. I have confessed my sympathies for benevolent dictators and designated terrorist organizations. I have confessed my undying love for the proclaimed villains of this society and my abject disgust with it's so called heroes. Yes, I have confessed to being some pretty radical things, which is a big part of why I started this blog. After years of hiding from the outside world, I made the downright terrifying decision to stand naked before it and invite the stones of the angry villagers, who once drove me away, to rain down upon my bare flesh and baptize my new found freedom in a shower of my own blood, (what? Too emo? well, fuck you then).

So here I stand, once again, before the glow of my computer monitor, to make yet another radical confession, sure to rile up a few more perma-pissed villagers and demolish a few more bridges. For I, Nick Reid AKA comrade hermit, confirmed leftist and feminist, don't very much regret to inform you that I, for lack of a better word, am pro-life, so gather your stones, dearest motherfuckers, while I attempt to explain my latest transgression against your precious established paradigm.

Let me start by saying that this is not a position that I have come to easily. I have struggled with it for years. As I said I consider myself to be a feminist and I don't wear that label cavalierly. Abortion is not a simple issue. One thing I feel it's equally important for both sides of the issue to recognize is that this shit is not black and white, none of it is. It's all grey and messy and complicated.

There is no way to avoid the fact that, regardless of your position, this is very much a women's rights issue as well as an unborn rights issue. The two are ire-tractably entangled and connected, just like the biology of the mother and child. You can't grant rights to one without subtracting rights from the other. It's a perilous balancing act and as someone who has spent time on both sides of this issue, I can honestly tell you that this is one debate with no clear-cut good guys or bad guys. Both the pro-life and the pro-choice are concerned first and foremost with human rights. There divergent passions share the same source. The thirst for equality and dignity for all living things. They also share many of the same blind spots, most stemming from this very thirst and the passion it inspires.

I am a man, thus I can never truly understand what it feels like to have aspects of my own internal biology be a matter of public policy. To face the unsavory prospect of having someone else instruct me on how I can and can't operate my own body, especially if that person doesn't even share that biology and shows zero interest in attempting to understand it. I also can't deny that a great deal of anti-abortion legislation is sadly governed from a place of chauvinistic patriarchy.

But I also can't ignore the fact that a fetus, unborn or not, is indeed a human being deserving of some set of human rights. To argue otherwise isn't just wrong it's downright asinine. If a fetus isn't a human being then what the fuck is it? A house plant? A Hot Pocket? A toaster oven? You can sensibly debate the quality and viability of this human being but to deny the basic scientific nature of it's existence requires a level of irrationality rarely seen outside the Christian right. You might as well deny the existence of evolution and global warming.

The fetus, just like the mother, is a human being deserving of rights and dignity. The only difference is the unborn child's rights rarely come at the expense of the woman's life. Whereas as far as abortion is concerned, the mothers rights come almost exclusively at the expense of the child's life. Which is precisely why I consider myself to be pro-life. A fetus may or may not be as viable a human being as a grown woman but, regardless, that doesn't give the mother or anyone else the right to extinguish it, especially if its simply a matter of inconvenience. Cheapening life, any life, to such a degree, cheapens the concept of humanity itself. It cheapens us all, regardless of gender.

Holding such a position was not always so partisan. At one time it wasn't unheard of for people on the left, even the far left, to uphold the sanctity of life. But somewhere along the line we confused abortion with feminism itself, as if the two were one and the same. This started when the hierarchy of the second wave of feminism decided to make abortion rights the cornerstone of there platform and ever since the movement and its natural sympathizers on the left have viewed the issue with a degree of undying dogma usually reserved for the Jonestown set. Anyone who dares question the wisdom of of the self anointed founding mothers of the second wave (too many of whom were actually transphobic, queer bashers) are automatically cast out into outer darkness for there unforgivable ideological transgressions.

I, personally, don't fucking appreciate facing down a goddamn firing squad every time I'm outed as a pro-life feminist. I am as committed to equality as any other self proclaimed feminist. I vehemently support, fuck that, demand gender equality everywhere from the workplace to the bedroom. My blood boils like a witches cauldron every time I see some unsuspecting girl get eye groped by a pack of wannabe he-men for the crime of daring to walk down the fucking street with anything less then a goddamn burka on. Many of my heroes are strong, outspoken, proudly dangerous women like Mary Magdalene, Dorothy Day, Emma Goldman, Angela Davis, Courtney Love, Frida Kahlo, Kim Gordan and Rosa Luxembourg. These howling voices have given me strength and direction with my own struggles. Shit, as I write this I'm listening to PJ Harvey's Rid of Me for Christ sake. I despise the patriarchy that reigns over western society and I am fully committed to its destruction. So don't you dare accuse me of fucking sexism just because I can't stomach the prospect of surgically eviscerating a fully formed fetus. I wouldn't dare call someone an anti-humanist just for supporting abortion rights even if I do disagree with them. Please afford me the same basic courtesy.

I more than welcome you to disagree with me but do not question my commitment to the cause unless you wish to find yourself locked in the prison of a never ending lecture that makes this one sound like a goddamn haiku by comparison. Fuck with me at your own risk, I can bitch like this for days. Don't fucking try me.

That doesn't mean that I'm letting the pro-life movement off the hook for there transgressions. Not by a long shot. In fact that's the primary reason I chose to post on this subject. I have grown sick and fucking tired of watching another cause dear to me get hijacked by a cartel of sexist, homophobic, Bible thumping hypocrites. I wan't my fucking movement back and I wanna kick the fucking trash out. I wrote this post because I want to take back pro-life.

The biggest problem with the pro-life movement is actually identical to the biggest problem with the pro-choice movement. It's there stark, black and white, dogmatic zealotry. The cold hard, ugly truth is that sadly, occasionally, abortion is a necessary evil. To ask a rape victim to bare the fruit of the monster who violated her is unspeakably cruel. To ask an underage girl who may or may not be capable of consenting to sex but definitely isn't equipped to deal with the full ramifications of these actions in any way, shape or form is beyond unfair. And to subject a woman to the death sentence of giving birth to a child that could literally cost her her life isn't just wrong, it is the antithesis of everything the words pro-life are supposed to stand for. It is slitting the mothers throat just to spite her predicament (here's looking at you Santorum). In all but the last of these examples I would strongly encourage the women and girls involved to spare the unborn child's life and chose adoption but I wouldn't dare be so grossly negligent as to leave them with only a rusty hangar as a plan B. If aborting a child, just out of pure inconvenience, is manslaughter then we have to accept the unfortunate fact that aborting a child to save a woman's life is justifiable homicide.

Which leads me to the second biggest problem with the pro-life movement, the hypocrisy, which is thicker then Beijing smog among the faithful. When I say pro-life, I fucking mean pro-life. This isn't a fucking fashion statement, it's an ethic and without consistency that ethic loses all meaning. That means apposing any and all acts of pointless/avoidable slaughter, whether it's unnecessary abortion, the death penalty, foreign military intervention and yes, forcing women to death by childbirth (I do however support voluntary euthanasia and assisted suicide but the right to die is an issue for another blog).

The biggest hypocrisy of the pro-life movement, however, may be there abject refusal to use the greatest weapons in there arsenal in there fight against abortion. Birth control and in particular the morning after pill. With these two inventions alone, we have never been closer to making abortion completely obsolete. If the pro-life movement was truly serious about ending the needless waste of unborn life, they would be handing these fucking pills out at every rally and demanding there free availability at every hospital, high school, pharmacy, police station, ambulance and college campus. They should be handing this shit out like fucking Skiddles on Halloween. But no! They rather stick to there bat-shit delusion that Plan B, a drug that prevents pregnancy from even occurring, somehow amounts to an abortion drug and the offensively stupid notion that a barely fertilized egg and a fully formed fetus are both one and the same. This certifiably insane theory doesn't just belittle the cause, it cheapens the value of fetal life. Giving it all the moral cache of a jizz crusted Kleenex. If life begins at conception then a seed is a tree and a chicken is an egg. It's precisely this kind of blatantly anti-scientific horse-shit that helps give pro-life a toxic name.

And don't even get me started on all the whooped up energy being wasted on that bullshit fight to defund Planned Parenthood, an organization that saves far more lives then it ends and is already barred by congress from even using tax-payer dollars on abortion, even some of the necessary ones. I may be pro-life but I'm definitely no fucking foot soldier in what can only be described as a war on women.

Being against abortion doesn't mean being against women but when your actively denying poor women vital health care services and re-violating rape victims with ultrasound equipment just to prove a point, you've earned the right to be called out as a chauvinistic pig and sensible pro-lifers should be the first ones to do it. But everyone on the left is too damn scared to take any kind of stand on abortion that isn't pre-approved by the Gloria Steinem intelligentsia over at Ms. Magazine. We need to man/woman up and rediscover our voice and we're not going to find it rubbing shoulders with despicable hypocrites like Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee. The so called Christian right has gotta go if we ever wanna be taken seriously as a movement again.

On the flipside, every pro-choicer who finds the idea of dispatching a full term fetus as it slides out the birth canal to be a step to far is scared silent by the prospect of being lumped in with a crowd of screeching, woman bashing, evangelicals and here lies the problem. The abortion discussion has become so polarized that only the zealots, on both sides, control the conversation and common sense and basic reality get replaced with more thoughtless, partisan bullshit and that's what I want to stop. Right here. Right now.

So let me say it again, loud and proud. My name is Nick Reid and I am a flaming left wing, pro-life feminist, hear me roar!

Now lets get out of these fucking closets and let the real conversation begin.


Monday, October 26, 2015

....If Your Craving Something Truly Sinister

I love Halloween. It's one of my favorite times of the year. The garish lights, the swirling leaves, the kinetic sense of chaos that can only come with the changing of the seasons. It brings out the anarchist in me and Halloween is truly an anarchists holiday. On what other day of the year is pure, uncut mischief so unapologetically celebrated. Children roam the streets, unattended, after dark, dressed as monsters and killers (ideally), travelling from door to door, demanding junk food under the thinly veiled threat of petty vandalism. How could I not love it. The flickering jack-o-lanterns, the bite size candy bars, the smashed mailboxes and toilet paper strewn trees. I love all of it but my favorite part of Halloween is and always will be the horror movies.

I've been obsessed with the horror genre for as long as I can remember and over my years of self imposed isolation I've become something of a connoisseur. There is something so sinfully satisfying about watching other people get butchered in late October. I know, I know, I'm certifiable but who better to guide you through the wonderful world of cinematic blood-lust then a mad, anarchist, hermit. So without further ado, I bring you, dearest motherfuckers, ten of my all time favorite horror movies for your Halloween viewing pleasure. Most of these nightmares don't go down easy. I don't do pussy shit. Wes Craven can fucking suck it. But if your craving something truly sinister, try adding one of these motherfuckers to your Netflix cue.

THE SHINING (1980)- Stanley Kubrick's disorientingly claustrophobic masterpiece may not only be Kubrick's finest work but is quite possibly the greatest horror movie ever made. I honestly can't begin to comprehend what it all means. There's more theories on this then the JFK assassination but the mystery of the film itself, the enigma of Jack Torrance and the Overlook Hotel are precisely what makes The Shining so goddamn terrifying. There is nothing scarier then the unknown except for perhaps the lengths the human mind will go to make sense of it. Stanley Kubrick is truly one of the great mad genius' of cinema and Stephen King is a petty fool for denying his brilliance. The Shining is my favorite horror movie.

THE BABADOOK (2014)- A bedtime story from hell that brilliantly mixes the macabre whimsy of early Tim Burton with the nightmarish surrealism of late David Lynch. The story of a lonely widow struggling to raise a deeply troubled son while attempting desperately to move on from the tragic death of her husband, slain in a gruesome car crash on the way to the hospital to give birth to there only child. The mother and sons shared grief manifests itself into a diabolic children's book come to life and the two must come to terms with this demon, called the Babadook, in order to defeat it. Truly a modern day classic and one of the best horror films of the last year.

THE WICKER MAN (1973)- An eerie and picturesque mystery about a devout Christian detective searching for a missing girl on an isolated Scottish island populated by a strange Celtic cult of born again pagans. I won't give away the ending because it's one of the greatest twists in the history of cinema but trust me it's a shocker you wont see coming. Christopher Lee of Lord of the Rings and Star Wars fame gives a downright mesmerizing performance as the heathen Svengali, Lord Summerisle. The Academy remains cursed to this day for denying him. As does Nicholas Cage for that bastard remake for that matter.

INLAND EMPIRE (2006)- One of the strangest and most terrifying movies ever made from one the greatest directors alive today, a modern day Renaissance lunatic named David Lynch, and this grueling mindfuck-a-thon is the macabre maestro at his best and most unhinged. Not so much a horror movie as an abstract meditation on madness, Inland Empire plays like a kaleidoscope of nightmarish imagery giving the viewer the sensation that they are slowly losing there grip on sanity. Don't try to make fucking sense of it, as Hunter S. Thompson would say just "buy the ticket, take the ride". At three hours of untamed terror, Inland Empire is definitely not for everyone but if you manage to make it through the looking glass to the other end you'll find yourself begging for more. It's art house cinema at its bug-fuck finest.

IT FOLLOWS (2014)- The Babadook is undeniably amazing but this little blood spattered indie gem has to be my favorite horror flick of 2014. A terrifying story about a college girl infected by a strange, sexually transmitted curse that finds her stalked by a slow lumbering, shape-shifting entity that will continue to stalk her until she's either dead (quite literally fucked to death in fact) or has passed the curse on to someone else. A fascinating new take on the body horror genre that should make David Cronenberg proud. It will leave you looking over your shoulder for month.

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008)- Fuck Twilight and forget that crass, soulless American remake, if your in the mood for blood and romance among the world of the living dead (and who isn't) you can do no finer then this beautifully macabre Swedish love story about a twelve year old outcast who falls in love with the girl next door only to discover she's a centuries old vampress. She gives him the courage to stand up to his bullies with naturally gruesome results and intern he gives her the strength to be human. Many found this film terrifying. God help me, I found it to be beautiful. A tale of two misfits capable of acts of merciless brutality and selfless humanity in defense of the shelter the have found in  each others embrace. Like a Gothic Badlands or Kurt and Courtney cast as preteen Scandinavian ghouls, Let the Right One In is perfect for Halloween or Valentines Day, provided your a little sinister.

MARTYRS (2008)- Dearest motherfuckers be warned, this french shocker is NOT for beginners. This movie will scar you but if you can survive the experience you will be hard pressed not to agree that it may be the greatest horror film since The Shining. I don't want to tell you to much because the brutal twists are part of what gives this masterpiece it's gravity. All I'll say is that it's the story of a pair of orphan lovers who seek revenge against a mysterious couple who brutally tortured one of them as a child for unknown reasons. The two manage to get there revenge as well as far, far more then they bargained for. There are many possible interpretations into what this film is truly trying to say. My personal theory is that it's meant to be an allegory for the dangers of organized religion and the depths of inhumanity people are capable of in this life in the name of the possibility of the next one. Like I said, just a theory. Regardless, in spite of all the controversy regarding the films brutal subject matter, Martyrs stands apart from it's more nihilistic cousins in the splatter genre in that Martyrs is essentially a very Humanist horror movie, philosophically. Watch this film at your own risk but WATCH THIS FILM. It will break you but it will also make you stronger. It will make you a martyr.

THE EXORCIST (1973)- To this day this simple story of a young girl possessed by Satan and one tortured priest's suicidal attempt to save her is still the scariest movie I have ever seen and I'm still not completely sure why. Maybe its my Catholic upbringing or maybe I just happened to see this movie at a particularly raw period of my life but this remains the one movie aside from Martyrs that can break me. Being a virtually unbreakable horror junkie, that's fucking saying something. Mad respect, William Peter Blatty, mad respect.

AUDITION (1999)- The ultimate feminist horror movie by Japan's resident king of chaos Takashi Miike. A middle aged widower holds a fake film audition in order to snag a new squeeze. Naturally the conservative Japanese salary-man picks out a cute, shy, and proper Japanese young lady, half his age. What could possibly go wrong? Well, a fuck load of a lot with Miike behind the camera. The salary-man's adorable nymph turns out to be a total fucking psycho, more twisted and dangerous then any massive, lumbering male escaped mental patient and she doesn't appreciate being used. Micheal fucking Myers ain't got shit on this girl. The last half hour alone of this stomach churning, mind bender will go down in history as thirty of the most disturbing minutes ever captured on film. If this movie doesn't make you think twice about using women for your own self serving, chauvinistic designs then your probably Newt Gingrich and you deserve to have your fucking feet sawed off. (teet!-teet!-teet!-teet!-teet!)

THE EVIL DEAD (1981)- Last but definitely not least, a cult treasure and, in my humble opinion, hands down the best of the Evil Dead series. Filmed on a shoestring budget of less then 90 grand, Sam Raimi (yes, THAT Sam Raimi) managed to make the quintessential Halloween shock-fest. Blood thirty demons, sexy coeds, man eating trees, Bruce Campbell's glorious chin and the most fucked up cabin in the woods in horror history. This motherfucker's got em all, not to mention gallons of gore. It's the most fun screaming you'll have with your pants on. (that is, unless you take them off)

HONORABLE MENTION- Haven't had enough yet? Still thirsty for more? Well then congratulations, your officially as sick as I am. You might wanna give some of these a shot- VIDEODROME (1983), THIRST (2009), DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978), WOLF CREEK (2005), ROSEMARY'S BABY (1968), HIGH TENSION (2003), JACOB'S LADDER (1990), STOKER (2013), CALVAIRE (2004), THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991), INSIDE (2007), EDEN LAKE (2008), THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (2009).

Happy Halloween, dearest motherfuckers! Stay sinister.




Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Kunduz: Portrait of an American War Crime

In the blood spattered pantheon of American intervention episodes of tragic and often gruesome error are sadly common place. Wedding parties get pulverized by airstrikes, drones cut down innocent children only to later proclaim them enemy combatants and elderly peasants get crushed beneath the gears of colossal armored vehicles. Yes, in modern day war zones accidents do happen, all just part of the daily grind when you live in hell. But last weeks bombing of a Doctors Without Borders operated hospital in the northern Afghan city of Kunduz was no fucking accident. It was a callously calculated crime against humanity, a war crime and it needs to be addressed.

The "official" story fed to us by the Pentagon and repeated verbatim by there loyal echo chamber in the mass media has changed repeatedly. First the Afghans called in the attack, then it was the US Army. First it was a logistical mistake, now its collateral damage in an assault against the resurgent Taliban, firing on soldiers from the compound. All of this, of coarse, is total bullshit, all of it.

The US military was well aware of the hospitals location. Doctors Without Borders had provided them with precise and accurate GPS coordinates on multiple occasions, the latest had been provided in late September. Not that they were even necessary. The complex was a massive, well established landmark, the largest building for miles around with a distinctive T shape clearly visible to satellites, let alone aircraft. It was the only free trauma hospital in Northern Afghanistan, adorned with a massive nine foot flag upon its roof identifying it as such. None of this stopped a low flying AC-130 gunship from unleashing hell upon an internationally revered institution protected by the Geneva Convention.

What ensued was a brutal, merciless onslaught of searing hot steel launched from a vehicle that's only express purpose is to murder as many human beings in as short a period of time as possible. The first rampage raged through the hospital for fifteen minutes straight. Drilling massive holes through unsuspecting staff like Swiss cheese, killing some where they stand and leaving others to drown in there own blood. Helpless, incapacitated patients were lit up like Christmas trees, burned alive in there beds leaving little but smoldering bones where they once rived. Once the initial assault finally ceased, the surviving staff immediately called local American forces to inform them that they had just attacked a hospital with zero signs of a Taliban presence in the area. This message, which the Pentagon has recently confirmed was received, did nothing to deter the Military from launching four more identical fifteen minute barrages in just over an hour. By the time the smoke had finally cleared twenty-two lay dead including twelve DWB staff members and three children. Another thirty-seven were left badly maimed. The deed was done. There was nothing left to do but offer hollow apologies and destroy the evidence.

Obomba called up the DWB to offer his sincerest condolences for butchering there comrades but the DWB was in no mood. They didn't want a fucking apology. They wanted answers. Why? Why launch a brutal, kill em all style massacre on a known hospital? Why kill a building load of injured civilians and the tireless servants who failed, honorably, to save them? Why lie about it four times in four days? No, the DWB didn't want a fucking apology. They wanted an independent investigation into the bloodbath by the International Humanitarian Fact Finding Commission but Obomba, in his infinite wisdom, refused to even consider the totally reasonable inquiry, offering instead to conduct his own investigation into his own war crime.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, twelve days after the attacks, the US Army drove right through the wreckage with a goddamn tank, all but obliterating what little evidence remained at the scene of the crime. US forces made the asinine claim that the armored assault vehicle was carrying investigators but somehow didn't see fit to call the DWB first for permission. They didn't even bother fucking knocking first to see if anyone was home. There's no evidence that they even bothered stepping out of the goddamn vehicle. They just rammed right through like a rampaging elephant in heat, leaving all of us, once again, to ask collectively why? What are they so desperate to cover up.

A possible answer came from the usually pro-military Associated Press who, upon further examination, learned from American soldiers in the area that not only did they call in the airstrike on what they admittedly knew was a hospital but  that the Pentagon had assigned them to do surveillance on the building in order to ascertain whether or not a mysterious Pakistani Inter-Service Intelligence spy was among the patients healing inside. These soldiers, for still unknown reasons, came to the conclusion that the hospital was indeed the unwitting host of there query and called in the attack, claiming this unnamed agent to be among the twenty-two dead.

Doctors Without Borders have declared these allegations to be bullshit, professing that there were zero people of Pakistani descent present at the hospital that day. Could this be true? Was the Kunduz airstrike a calculated hit gone wrong? Or did they successfully slay there target along with twenty-one civilians. Either way this qualifies as a war crime worthy of the Hague. Who was/is this Pakistani mystery man? Why were the military willing to slaughter a building full of innocents and risk an international incident just to kill him? What did/does he know and why couldn't/can't he be aloud to survive? Let us not forget that Pakistan is allegedly our allie and the ISI is the same intelligence force fingered by Seymour Hersh for secretly imprisoning Bin Laden then helping us to execute the beast in cold blood. Could this somehow be connected or have I just seen to many Oliver Stone flicks?

Perhaps an even more important question to ask is what the hell are we even still doing in that god forsaken country, propping up an obviously failed state? Its been four goddamn years since we whacked Bin Laden, allegedly our whole reason for being in Afghanistan, in a carefully choreographed hit that took place in fucking Pakistan. Its been fourteen years since we started our longest war which seems to grow longer by the second with the withdrawal date always just out of reach. In that time we've lost 2,350 US soldiers, over a trillion US dollars and murdered an undetermined number of Afghani civilians that reaches deep into the thousands even by the most conservative estimates. In that time we have solved absolutely nothing. The Taliban and al-Qaeda are more powerful, popular and dangerous then ever. The people are still impoverished. Most girls are still born into what essentially amounts to lifelong sexual slavery. The opium trade is fucking booming and what passes for a central government in Kabul gives corruption a bad name.

Why the fuck did we even invade this hellhole in the first place, The Taliban weren't any worse then those baby raping pigs in the Northern Alliance. We know for a fact that they were apposed to al-Qaeda's 911 plot from the beginning and they were growing increasingly tired of dealing with Bin Laden's bullshit. We could have and should have made them a fucking deal that would have aloud the Taliban government to hand over al-Qaeda and still save face among the faithful. Every one of those sheep shagging jihadi pricks would be rotting in Florence Super-max right now, Bin Laden included, and over two thousand American families wouldn't be facing the ugly prospect of another lonely holiday season without there husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters.

And why in the name of Christ, Marx and Mohammed couldn't we just leave the 1978 revolution of the Peoples Democratic Party be? They came closer to fixing Afghanistan's colossal shit-load of problems then anyone else has. But we had to fucking blow it up and for what?! Just to hasten the Soviet Unions already inevitable economic demise? Was it really fucking worth it!?! Was any of this shit?!!! Why do our leaders continue to insist on proving the terrorists right by behaving just like them? Giving them a dozen new recruits with every bomb they drop. Why can't we just mind our own fucking business?

If your among the handful of dearest motherfuckers bored enough to tune into my rants then I'm sure you've already figured out that these questions are rhetorical and the answer to most of them is an ugly six letter word called E-M-P-I-R-E and there's no easy cure for this national affliction. Our country has become hopelessly addicted to war and Afghanistan is the speedball of imperialism. Every super power that's tried this fix has died an ugly death but there's always another in line that thinks there the one that can handle the high. Kunduz is sadly just the latest in an endless procession of bloody binges and unless the people of this country call a fucking intervention it won't be the last.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Let Putin Take Out the Trash

I generally consider myself to be a stalwart anti-interventionist. I believe that war should be the absolute last resort, when all other options are fully exhausted and even then only when the threat to a nations citizenry is direct and inescapable. All and all, I believe the world works best when countries mind there own fucking business and fight there own fucking wars. But every rule has its exceptions and I strongly believe that Russia's decision to intervene in Syria is one of those exceptions.

I spent the better half of my last post detailing how the United States and its rump states in the Gulf (+Turkey) manufactured the so called Syrian Civil War in a cruel conspiracy to transform yet another secular Arab nation into another defenseless cripple state, ripe for imperial rape.

Now the putrid ISIS virus, concocted by these gods of war in the toxic laboratory of post-Saddam Iraq, has unsurprisingly escaped there masters control, just like al-Qaeda before it, and developed into the self-sustaining, genocidal terror factory known as the Islamic State. But the US still doesn't seem to fucking care. Sure they talk a big deal about there dedication to reigning in there rapidly expanding bastard frankenstate but they continue to devote themselves, first and foremost, to the overthrow of the only government capable of keeping Syria from becoming another fucking Libya. As they halfheartedly drop bombs on targets that do as much harm to Syria's faulty infrastructure as they do to the Islamic State, they continue to willfully undermine the fight they claim to lead. Hobbling Iran's Quds Force, arming so called moderates with direct ties to al-Qaeda and turning a blind eye to client states like Turkey and Saudi Arabia who directly support the Islamic State. In fact America's coalition to fight these motherfuckers is quite literally stacked with the despots who support them.

It has become abundantly clear to any sane, reasonably educated citizen of the world that the American Empire is more then willing to let the Islamic State win its war against humanity as long as it takes Assad out in the process. This recklessly nihilistic strategy puts the entire world at risk but few nations have as much reason to lose sleep as Russia, who has long been the real target of America's jihad against peace in the Middle East.

Not only does Russia have its only Mediterranean naval base in the coastal city of Tartus, it also, by last count, has over two thousand of its own Muslim citizens fighting under the flags of ISIS and al-Nusra, undoubtedly sharpening there skills and boning up there armories for future wars in Russia's already unstable Caucus region. All in perfect sink with the Brzezinski plot to disintegrate the Federation in a bubbling vat of religious zealotry and Balkanesque nationalism.

Meanwhile, the real foes of Wahhabist extremism in the Middle East; Syria, Iran, Hezbollah and Kurdistan all remain shackled by America's strategic hijacking of the war effort and the world stands by, paralyzed with fear, as the Empire of chaos sinks its fangs into another hapless victim. Everyone, that is, but the single leader capable of stopping this gruesome spectacle, Vladimir Putin.

Putin had an impossible decision to make, allow another of his nations allies to go the way of Yugoslavia and watch America's jihadist wildfire grow ever closer to his backyard or get involved and embolden the few forces willing and capable of rooting the Islamic State at the expense of his already tattered standing with the so called international community. Putin bravely chose to stand with the people of Syria, Lebanon, Kurdistan, Iraq and Iran. Putin chose to stand up to the American Empire in what may go down in history as the worlds first and hopefully last anti-interventionist intervention and I believe Putin chose right.

Not only did Putin choose the right war but he chose the right way to wage it. Where as Obama launched his campaign of terror on Syria without the consent of Congress or the Syrian government, thus committing yet another American war crime. Putin, on the other hand, received the full support of the Duma and Syria thus fully complying with international law. He even slyly offered Obama the opportunity to join the real war on terror. Naturally, the Nobel Peace Prize winner refused, showing his true colors to his supposed allies in Iraq who joined Putin's coalition even after being threatened with losing support from there good old Uncle Sam. Check mate, Putin.

As a stubborn Marxist and semi-lapsed anarchist, my feelings towards old Vlad have always been a bit conflicted. On the one hand I'm somewhat sickened by his dedication to post-Soviet crony capitalism and gross executive power. On the other hand he has consistently proven himself to be a tireless crusader against imperialism. Using his nearly unparalleled strength to protect the innocent and defenseless in Abkhazia, Ossetia, Crimea, Donetsk and now Syria from Western backed slaughter and standing up defiantly against the American war machine, in a way unseen since the untimely demise of my hero, Hugo Chavez.

In spite of his many faults, I believe Vladimir Putin to be an authentic anti-imperialist and in that fight he has my full and unapologetic support. If Putin Wants to take out the trash in Syria, I say hand me a can Vlad, it's about goddamn time.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Who Will Save The Orphans Of Empire?

There has been a great deal of talk about exiles in the media sphere lately. Not the nervous, agoraphobic kind such as myself but the real refugee kind. Desperate, frightened people, fleeing there home countries in what is all to often a hopeless search for safety, elsewhere. Weather we're talking about the Middle Easterners and Africans risking there lives to reach the picturesque and unwelcoming shores of Southern Europe or the Latin Americans currently being demonized by the racial opportunists in the GOP for the unforgivable crime of taking America at its word as being a beacon of hope, freedom and opportunity. Everywhere you look the all knowing, all seeing western media has its unblinking eye fixed squarely on the plight of the dispossessed. But as usual our chosen masters of corporate propaganda have completely missed the fucking point.

These two tragedies of human displacement are not unconnected. They share a common source. All of these aforementioned refugees are the latest orphans of the American empire and as such they are all our responsibility.

The lion share of the refugees pouring across the European continent like a flood of impoverishment are Syrians fleeing the havoc of the Islamic State. A rapidly expanding menace made possible by a civil war manufactured by the United States and it's Arabian and Turkish Quislings.

Like disturbingly similar events in Libya (read "Ready for Killary" below) The Syrian uprising was a violent Islamist insurrection from the beginning, conjured up by a cabal of western trained and funded Jihadists with connections to the Muslim Brotherhood. This prefab chicken shit upheaval, which hardly resembled a goddamn civil war, was all but squashed by the Assad regime inside of a year with the brutal sacking of Homs. That's when Uncle Sam and his Gulf state whores called out the big guns and began covertly arming, training, and sending in Wahhabist holy warriors from around the Muslim world, many fresh from our last little bloodbath in Killary liberated Libya. America played stupid while it's puppets in Turkey, Saudi Arabia and Qatar took most of the flak for re-introducing al-Qaeda to the region. But this wasn't the American Empires first foray into the thunderdome of proxy Jihad. It quickly became painfully obvious to history nerds like myself that our dear old republic was staging another reenactment of our famed Mujaheddin horror show in Afghanistan. (read "Forget Radical Islam, Fight Wahhabism!" below)

This was all prerequisite, of coarse, for another grand American invasion which Obama the pacifist set up with his infamous red line. Warning Assad that the US would only become involved directly if chemical weapons were used. Of coarse, Obama knew full well that Assad wasn't the only one with these weapons of mass destruction. According to our own intelligence, al-Nusra (AKA al-Qaeda) did as well, thanks to there friends and ours in the Turkish military but al-Nusra, with there asses pinned up against the wall by the Syrian Army, were the only ones who had motive to use them. Al-Nusra got the message and sure enough chemical weapons were deployed. Obama automatically blamed Assad without producing a lick of evidence and prepared to invade Syria. The only thing that stopped him from carrying out his plans was the unlikely collaboration of Vladimir Putin, who brilliantly cock blocked Obeezy with a camera friendly peace deal, and everyday american anti-interventionists, who clogged phone lines at the capitol building, demanding there representatives represent them for a change and prevent another bloody quagmire in the Middle East. With his support both at home and abroad dashed to bits Obama was forced to abandon his plans for direct intervention and fall back on his proxy war strategy. He was down but not out. After all Assad had to go, right?

America had more than a few reasons to risk another international catastrophe with its latest proxy war in Syria. The Assad regime had been a mainstay on our shitlist for years. If they weren't giving refuge to the (wrong) Kurds, they were cuddling up to the Russians and the Iranians. When they weren't busy defying our perverted notion of global, free market hegemony with there vulgar sense of Arab nationalism, they were defending there Shiite brothers in Lebanon from Israeli sanctioned Falangist genocide. But Assad and his father's biggest crime, in the eyes of the American Empire, was that they were the worst kind of dictators. The kind not under our payroll. Not to mention the fact that the Baathist regime sat smack dab on the intersection of every major oil pipeline linking Asia to Europe. (probably should've started with that)

So, once again, America called out the wild dogs of holy war and when al-Nusrah and the magic red line weren't enough to overthrow the Syrian government, we poured gas on the fire by introducing our latest Iraqi Frankenstiens in ISIS to the embattled country. All while maintaining our public support for the "moderates" of the Free Syrian Army, which largely served as a kind of minor leagues for the Jihadist pro's. As soon as any "moderate" proved himself on the battlefield he got picked up by the big boys in ISIS or al-Nusrah, often taking heaps of American military hardware with them. You can choose to believe this inevitable chain of events is all just one big coincidence if you wan't but it keeps fucking happening and we keep fucking funding it and we keep fucking funding the known Wahhabist snake pits of Ankara, Doha and Riyadh, The powers at be are all to aware of whats going down and I'm not convinced that it's not exactly what they wanted. As I said before, it wouldn't be the first time, just ask those pedophiles in the Northern Alliance if you don't believe me.

Just like Afghanistan and Libya before it, Syria has been reduced to a living hell. Multiple genocides now loom over the shattered state like cobra's waiting to strike. The Alawites, Christians, Kurds, and Druze are all at risk of being wiped off the map by America's latest monsters and like him or not, embattled strongman Bashar al-Assad is the only thing standing in the way of this tragedy in the making and his position grows weaker day by day, giving these minorities and the Sunnis who refuse to take part in there slaughter little choice but to flee there rapidly approaching demise in what has become the worst refugee crisis since the Second World War.

Some western nations, like Germany, have stepped up to the plate and offered generous refuge to these desperate souls but America, the nation more responsible for this crisis the any other, is not one of them. Since starting this despicable fucking war, The US has only accepted a poultry 1,500 of its refugees. (compared to Germany's pledged million) Lifelong war criminal John Kerry has offered to increase that number by as much as 30,000 but with over four million Syrians and growing seeking shelter from our latest war, that hardly amounts to jack shit.

We see a similar example of imperial callousness a little closer to home on our own southern border with more millions risking there lives in the desert to escape another hellish American experiment in war profiteering.

Since 1971, the United States has waged total war against drugs or at least some drugs. A war that has proven to be as brutal as it is senseless. Over a period of over forty years, tens of trillions of dollars have been dumped into the bottomless coffers of the military and prison industrial complexes with zero discernible effect on the rate of drug abuse in this country or any other but with a catastrophic effect on the rate of violent crime across the globe, creating an entire industry of organized thuggery, devoted entirely to the growth, processing, trafficking and distribution of common plants, used and abused for centuries, free from this level of chaos until it was unleashed by the beasts of prohibition.

These two industries, the industry of selling narcotics and the industry of prohibiting them, are really one. Like professional wrestlers battling each other in a steel cage, there relationship is completely symbiotic. One opponent cannot exert strength without another opponent to willingly receive it and vice versa. They appear to be battling but in reality it is simply a carefully choreographed dance.So it should come as little surprise that the faces of the American Empire have a long and storied history of sharing a bed with the very heels they have pledged to destroy. From the Hmong tribesmen of Indochina to the opium lords of Afghanistan to the Contra death squads of Nicaragua. Much like the War on Terror, the War on Drugs has become such a booming industry that the US has gotten into the business of creating monsters just so they can charge hardworking tax payers a fee to destroy them. The result of this bloody shell game, aside from piles of money, is piles of bodies.

In few places have these piles grown taller or more grotesque then in the failed narco state of Mexico. America spends tens of billions of dollars every year to prop up a government our own intelligence readily admits is thoroughly infested with the cartels there supposedly at war with. We send literally tons of weapons. Rifles, grenades, machine guns, armored vehicles, much of which inevitably ends up in the hands of the gangsters. So we send even more guns to destroy those gangsters (sound familiar) and so it goes, with the war profiteers who lobby Washington for this shit making a mint and the innocent people of Mexico caught in the crossfire of a shit storm  that they have done nothing to deserve.

While the thugs in Sinaloa and Washington count there money, the Mexican people count decapitated heads in there streets and pray they don't stumble across one belonging to someone they love. Is it any wonder they flee in the billions to the relative safety of the United States? Wouldn't you?

Like the now stateless orphans of Syria, these people are refugees, not Illegals, not even migrants but refugees, fleeing a seemingly endless tragedy that we created and continue to perpetuate. And what do these refugees do? Do they beg and demand the restitution they so richly deserve from the American Empire that screwed them? No. They work. They work there fucking asses off, building our houses, cooking our food, tending to our lawns and making our cushy, lily white lives better and easier, one back breaking, thankless chore at a time. And how do we fucking thank them? By harassing, humiliating and belittling them. By rounding them up like loose cattle, taring apart there families and sending them straight back to the hell holes we created for them.

And I'm not just talking about the Republicans either. The Democrats are even worse. Selling the Latino community false promises, building stunning electoral victories on there shoulders and then deporting them in higher numbers then any Republican regime ever has. If the GOP wasn't so goddamned racist there would be no Latino Democrats. Put that on a fucking hat, Trump!

The point I'm attempting to make with this latest rant, dearest motherfuckers, is that both of these refugee crises are the same in that both of them were made possible by our dear old empires unquenchable thirst for conquest and greed at the expense of the worlds poor. We destroyed Syria and we corrupted mexico, leaving legions of stateless orphans in our wake.

Any American with half a soul needs to realize that all of these refugees are our fucking responsibility. The very least we can do for them is give them a place to crash for proverbial weekend. That and attempt to ween ourselves off of the addiction to international violence that left them homeless in the first place.

America should match Germany's one million refugees and fucking double it, for starters. The Syrian people are smart, tough, educated and industrious, we could use a little of all that in this country. We should also do right by giving full amnesty to our displaced neighbors from south of the border if there still willing to forgive us and join this crazy fucking country. I for one would be proud to call them Americans.

I know what your gonna say, "How the hell do we pay for this, Nick?", glad you asked, that parts simple. End the fruitless trillion dollar boondoggles we call the War on Terror and the War on Drugs and try waging peace for a fucking change. It's surprisingly affordable and no one has to get there head blown off.

It's not fucking rocket science, dearest motherfuckers. It's just called doing the right thing. give it a shot. Only we can save the orphans of empire.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Nittany Valley Uber Alles

Well, dearest motherfuckers, it's another football season here in Happy fucking Hell. That disgusting time of the year that the parasitic Paternoites here in Central Pennsylvania hold so near and dear. Another year of tailgating and fantasy foolishness. Another year of shallow victory and deep oceans of alcohol. Another year of wallowing in joyful ignorance and learning absolutely fucking nothing and I feel sick.

How many years has it been? My Lyme fried brain can't seem to recall anymore. Not long enough, apparently, because it still feels like yesterday. Forty some childhoods torn to ribbons by the cruel savagery of Jerry Sandusky and and the cold calculated indifference of his still beloved handler, Joe Paterno. Jerry is all but forgotten, erased, wiped clean from this counties selective memory, as if that foul beast never even existed. But not Paterno. Old Jo-Pa is more alive then he's ever been. In death his legend has only grown. The great, glorious god of football who's shadow blankets this loathsome place in a din of ignorance rarely seen outside of third world dictatorships.

Take a brisk autumn walk through the picturesque streets of downtown State College and Joe's presence quickly becomes unavoidable (trust me, I've tried). His army of infinite portraits look over every square inch of livable space, holding his happy fucking hermit kingdom trapped eternally in the prison of his steely bespectacled gaze. In those dead paper eyes we are all Jo-Pa's children and Jo-Pa's children aim to please there undead master.

Restoring the wins, Revising history and drinking themselves stupid on Joe Paterno brand beer. What victims? There are no victims. Only conquest, victory and bowl eligibility. Never mind the sobbing children bleeding from unspeakable places, there tortured cries barely audible over the newly restored roar of Beaver Stadium. Who wants to bother with such ugliness when we have statues to rebuild and legacies to maintain.

So what if Joe Paterno knew everything. So what if he did nothing for god knows how long. So what if he continued to entertain that monster in the sanctity of the household where he raised his own fucking children. Who fucking cares about anything. Like that rotting old shit crowed from his doorway before he finally dropped dead, "WE ARE PENN STATE!". We can't be bothered with such unpleasant details. It's all lies after all, at least according Jo-Pa's vile widow. We'll just do what she did, deny the facts and sweep them under our Nittany Lion rugs, like Germans in Auschwitz, hiding acrid clouds of billowing black smoke behind doily Bavarian curtains. We'll deny, we'll deny, we'll deny, deny, deny and we'll all get good and drunk and watch some fucking football.

Who are we? What the hell have we become? What happened to this town I use to proudly call my own? Has it always been this way? Have I been blind half my life? When did team spirit and hometown pride become a disease that strips us of our most basic sense of humanity and dignity? I grew up with these fucking people. Have they all become monsters or have I just become more human somehow? Did my years of self imposed isolation make me somehow immune to there sickness? How can I save people who have no will to change? How the hell do I reason with people who prefer there delusions of grandeur over reality.

I have no answers to these questions and having to ask them over and over, as much to myself as anybody else, makes me feel sick inside but I can't just sit idly by and ignore the ugliness of this place I call home or the people I once loved. You can't just go on denying the past and never expect to repeat it. Jerry Sandusky raped over forty innocent children and Joe Paterno and the university he loved covered it up and even worse this community continues to do the same damn thing while celebrating the unrepentant criminals in spite of there crimes against humanity.

Until these harsh truths are excepted and these demons are exorcised, Nittany Valley doesn't deserve to have its precious fucking football team or the dirty money it brings with it. Far from going too far, the NCAA didn't go far enough. Penn State should have been given the death penalty and you can fucking quote me on that.

Repent! State College, repent! For the love of god, repent! Until you do, this native son won't give you one moments peace.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The Orange Menace Rises

What foul, orange beast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Washington? A creature far too repulsive to be deserving of a human name. A creature they call Trump. Posing, posturing, lips twisted in knots, twisted and flexed, teeth gnashing violently, chewing up the English language and spitting it back out like acid, eyes squinting, mincing, head slung over shoulders like a vulture eyeing its tender prey, skin burnt and stained the color of nicotine, mangled hair shellacked against skull like a calcified ginger merkin caked in dry semen, arms stiff, slicing through the air violently like the claws of a mantis, reaching out blindly for the throat of another doomed lover, it's words make little sense, it's words are not words, it doesn't speak, it barks, it yelps, it squeals, it demands attention, it won't be deprived, it will not be ignored.

I find myself asking, in this dark, witching hour, is this it? Is this how it ends? With the racist rantings of a mutated, Wall Street rodeo clown. Could this really be the fabled decline of western civilization forecast by everyone from Marx to Spengler? And if it is, why am I the only one terrified? Why is the whole world laughing?

I desperately, desperately, wanted to avoid this subject but I can't stay silent anymore. This spectacle called Trump has become far to dangerous to ignore. I don't fear the creature itself. A sad, worthless freak, the product of morally derelict oligarchs and sadomasochistic boarding school rituals, the kind of beast that could only be spawned by the one percent, damned with enough money to fail forever without repercussions, a thing so devoid of basic humanity it can only survive in a delusional fantasy world of ego-maniacal self worship. No, I don't fear Trump the "man", if you can call it that. I fear Trump the spectacle, a mob of bloodthirsty, runaway sheeple, turned rabid by the fevered dream of nationalist revival and revenge against a race of stateless peasants, made convenient scapegoats for the self inflicted wounds of a bankrupt civilization in decline.

It wasn't so long ago that another supposed democracy fell victim to a similar hysteria. Wiemar Germany like America was a humiliated empire bled dry by years of reckless warfare, gripping on to the last vestiges of liberalism before falling under the spell of a cruel, bombastic, buffoon offering the empty promise of conquest at the expense of a demonized race of deemed outsiders. No one took his rants seriously either except his fanatical followers, who had the last laugh beneath overcast skies, dyed black with the ashes of there state prescribed enemies. By then it was too late. By the time the joke was over millions lay dead.

Maybe I'm being over dramatic. I pray to Christ that I am. That we'll all awake from this national nightmare before the first leaves of autumn descend upon us but as the crowds grow and the polls climb and the media refuses to take there little monster seriously, a deep, dark feeling swirls inside me like the terror that originally drove me to the agoraphobic prison of my early-mid twenties and I can't turn my back on the history books that kept me sane during those dark years.

I can't force myself to forget the scientific fact that all empires by nature, crumble and fall. And this traditionally comes about in only one of two ways, revolution or dictatorship. If a populace remains alert, educated and engaged, revolution becomes a solution to catastrophe. But if a populace becomes complacent, ignorant and indifferent, totalitarianism becomes inevitable and catastrophe is sure to follow.

In a nation wallowing in the self indulgence of reality television, social media and consumer electronics, you can forgive me for having serious reservations that America will rediscover its revolutionary roots and go the way of Thomas Paine.

It pains every last fiber of my being to type this but it seems to me much more likely that your average American would prefer the convenience of suicide by fuhrer to the hard work that goes into fostering a true revolutionary renaissance.

Being the anti-statist, libertarian Marxist that I am, I never thought I'd hear myself speak these words but pray for America dearest motherfuckers and stand by our Mexican neighbors. If the Trump's of this world win we'll all be Mexicans soon.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Forget Radical Islam, Fight Wahhabism!

It's 2015 but all anyone can talk about is 2016. Like Christmas, it seems like the start of election season comes earlier and earlier. Only instead of carols we get lies and instead of twinkling lights we get lies and instead of presents under the tree we get, you guessed it, lies, lies, lies and more goddamn lies. So many fucking lies flying from every direction, it feels like a goddamn blizzard of dishonesty. You get dizzy and disoriented and lose track of which empty promise came from which shallow souled hose bag. But then there's the big lies, the goddamndiest lies. The ones too big for just one candidate. So they become like a Gregorian chant. A partisan mantra that goes totally unquestioned and unchallenged. The other candidates all just simply try to shout it louder then the last. This season, the favored mantra of the Republican circus is the bold idea that we're not just at war with terrorism, no that Bush left over is to PC for this crowd, we're at war with radical Islam and each candidate is the only one with the intestinal fortitude to say it, even if the last nine dicks just got done fucking saying it. Unlike that pussy, serial bomber Barack Obama and his oh so doveish  air apparent Madame Killary, these war mongers aren't afraid to be rude about there atrocities. No sir, these are men! Real men! Beer chugging, pistol packing, Bible thumping, hard fighting, hard fucking, hard farting, big dick swinging Republican men. The kind of men you could get shit faced with, the kind of men who could help you mulch your lawn and dismember a mouthy mistress, all in one afternoon, and still be home for the big game! Yeah! These are real men! Not just men but guys! Bro's! Dudes! And there not afraid to roll up there sleeves, fist fuck the word police and declare unilateral war against an entire religion they clearly don't know the first thing about, yeah! Guy stuff! Fuck radical Islam! USA! USA! USA!! USA!!!!....

But what does that even fucking mean? The problem is radical Islam? OK, but how do you define radical Islam? Everybody's first go-to after ISIS always seems to be Iran but how radical is Iran really? The cold, hard truth that you rarely hear from an American is that Iran, in reality, is probably the most moderate Islamic government in the region. Western culture, as putrid as it often is, is widely excepted and even embraced by the Iranian people. Iranian women, who are notoriously head strong and outspoken, have the right to drive, the right to work, even the right to vote. In fact, during the US fueled Iran-Iraq War, whole battalions of Persian women fought off Saddam's invaders, firing Kalashnikov's in full hijab's like Twelver riot grrrrl's and proving themselves on the same battlefields as there husbands and brothers. Is Iran a chauvinist, homophobic theocracy? Of coarse, but compared to there Arab neighbors, who the GOP hopeful's just fucking love, Tehran looks like fucking Disneyland (you know, but with less fat people). In Saudi Arabia a woman can't so much as even break wind without the approval of her husband without getting a one way ticket to Floggistan (where the beatings are hers and hers and hers!) courtesy of the Police of Vice and Virtue and that's if there lucky. But no, Iran's the bad guy and the Saudi's are our friends, right? Bullshit! Time for another history lesson, dearest motherfuckers, buckle up.

America's sadomasochistic love affair with Saudi Arabia begins in 1938, when American geologist's discovered petroleum in the under developed desert fiefdom. The House of Saud, which had previously been a protectorate of the doomed British Empire, decided to switch sugar daddies, kicking the limey's to the curve and jumping head first into the cash stuffed bosom of Lady Liberty. But the Saudi's always held loftier ambitions then being some honky's dusty bitch state, no, much like there new partners in the US, the Saudi's wanted in on the empire racket and oil wasn't the only card they had to play. The Saudi's also had Islam, thanks to there occupation of the religion's holiest landmark, Mecca. There was only one little problem with this. Islam, much like its cousin Christianity, was notoriously anti-imperialist but, shit, that didn't stop the Brits and the Yanks from using the Cross to rape half the globe, why should it stop them. So the Saudi's did what there western patrons did and created a heretical, bastardized version of Islam that glorified the notion of world domination under the yoke of a modern day caliphate. The Saudi's created Wahhabism, the foundation of all modern jihadism from the Mujaheddin to the Islamic State.

The Saudi Kingdom exported there new cult through a network of madrasa's or Islamic schools, peppered through out the poverty stricken Islamic world, giving impoverished young Muslims there first and often only opportunity for a real education then brainwashing them into associating the ancient, peaceful religion of Islam with brutality and suicidal conquest but Wahhabism didn't truly take off until Uncle Sam got involved.

Flashback; 1978, After years of struggle, a band of daring, young, Afghani socialists manage to launch a successful revolution, overthrowing the corrupt, western backed oligarchy who had made the tiny mountain nation of Afghanistan one of the poorest and most backward places on earth. The brave new revolutionaries quickly got busy leading the brave new Democratic Republic of Afghanistan (DRA) into the 20th century, abolishing feudalism, enacting land reform and granting unprecedented rights to women and minorities. Though the revolution itself was a wholly independent, homegrown endeavor, the DRA quickly formed an alliance with there next door neighbors in the USSR, who were more then happy to spread the gospel of secular socialism to the Muslim world.

Meanwhile, back in Washington, some powerful people were paying close attention to these events in Central Asia, chief among them was then President Carter's globalist Rasputin, National Security Adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski (remember him?) who saw both threat and promise in the new Afghani government. The threat? The creation of an enviable alternative to the soulless drudgery of western capitalism in the Muslim world or as good old Zbigs put it "the threat of a promising example". The promise? Well, the opportunity for crippling Cold War chaos of coarse. Afghanistan was a nation ripe for unrest with a new unstable democracy and plenty of zealots, opium farmers and warlords to recruit and use to plunge the DRA into anarchy, creating a vacuum that would inevitably draw the Soviets into an unwinnable military quagmire or as one Pentagon official described it "there own Vietnam". In order to achieve this hideous goal, however, Uncle Sam needed an army and the dope lords and acid hurling Imams weren't quite enough.

That's where the Saudi's came in, who agreed to use there network of madrasas and banks to collect, arm, train and fund a makeshift international mercenary force that would come to be known as the Mujaheddin and so it was written and so it was done. Supposed dove Jimmy Carter signed off on all the necessary paper work and the Saudis happily built there dream army of Wahhabist wack jobs who busied themselves slaughtering teachers, raping little girls and burning down the schools that attempted to teach them how they could be more then just shackled broodmares for bearded sheep shaggers and Zbigniew and his sheikhs didn't stop at setting there sights on little Afghanistan. They wanted to set all of the Caucus' on fire, blazing a trail of jihadist misery from Kabul, deep into the Soviet Union with its sizable Muslim population, sewing the seeds of war through Tajikistan, Dagestan, Chechnya and beyond, giving the Soviets no choice but to engage the source of the chaos in Afghanistan and stepping right into our Afghan trap.

A decade later with millions dead or wounded and the Soviets war zapped economy in the toilet, the Red Army finally bailed, leaving the once hopeful revolution of Afghanistan to be torn to shreds by Wahhabist wolves but Kabul's descent back into the Dark Ages was only the beginning of the nightmare. With the war more or less over, Saudi Arabia's Mujaheddin spread to all corners of the globe like a plague, carrying the toxic creed of Wahhabism with them. The post Cold War world quickly found itself awash in an orgy of brutality unlike anything they had ever encountered before and it didn't take long for these ugly roosters to come home to roost in the land of the leaders who made there very existence possible, with vaunted veterans of our great Soviet trap bombing our embassies in Africa and the World Trade Center in New York.

From the smoldering ashes of the Mujaheddin rose the Taliban, Al Qaeda, Al Nusra and eventually ISIS, igniting bloody conflicts on almost every continent, all, and I do mean ALL, with the full support of the mothership back in Riyadh. This includes 911. 28 pages of the Congressional Joint Inquiry into the attacks on September 11, 2001 remain classified and off limits to the public. These particular pages detail the assistance foreign governments gave to the hijackers. Only members of Congress can read these pages with the approval of the Senate Intelligence Committee and even then they are bound by law to keep there contents secret but most of the Senators and Congressmen, in both parties, who have read these pages have come away shocked and became outspoken critics of US-Saudi relations. You do the fucking math. And lets not forget it was our homies, the Saudi's who payed the Pakistani's to keep there little guest in Abbotabad a guarded secret and all of this shit has gone down while we prop up those twisted sheikh's with billions of our own fucking tax dollars!

These are the Middle Eastern allies the GOP hopefuls hold in such high esteem. The "good Muslims" who will help us crush ISIS, another gang of degenerate Wahhabists who have benefited greatly from Saudi charity. But no! The Saudi's aren't the problem. That distinction belongs to Iran and Iran alone. Never mind the fact that Iran has never invaded another sovereign country while the Saudi's obliterate Yemen, for overthrowing a despotic Saudi puppet, as we speak. But this is Iran's fault too, somehow, for sharing the same religion with the Houthi rebels who want nothing more then for the slaughter of there people to cease. Never mind the fact that Iran, more then any other nation, has devoted itself entirely to the eradication of  the ISIS cancer in the Middle East. Once again this is somehow Iran's fault for supporting there long time allies in the secular government of Syria but I guess they were asking to have there heads cut off for sickening crime of maintaining a regime that doesn't ethnically cleanse its minorities (GASP! BLASPHEMY!!).

And then of coarse there's Iran's invisible nuclear weapons program, threatening to to trigger a regional arms race. Only, Iran doesn't have a fucking nuclear weapons program! According to our own CIA, such a program has not existed since at least 2003 and there remains zero proof that one ever existed to begin with. Even if one did, I'm sure the Saudi's would have no problem borrowing a nuke or two from there buddies in Israel or Pakistan, who we know for a fact possess these weapons of mass destruction, illegally and yet remain immune to America's selective anti-nuclear hysteria.

If there's one point the Republicans are correct on, it's that there is indeed a sectarian rivalry going on in the Middle East between Tehran and Riyadh. The only problem is that we're on the wrong fucking side. While the Shiite's and even most Sunni's simply want to be left the fuck alone in there own tiny corners of the universe, free from the twin hammers of Zionism and Imperialism, the House of Saud remains as dedicated as ever to there goal of a global Wahhabist caliphate and the Republicans seem more then happy to hand the Middle East over to these butchers in exchange for donations from the Saudi's bloated lobbies and there Zionist cousins.

You wanna be fucking Rambo! You wanna win the war of terror! Then forget about "radical Islam" and set your sights on the real fucking enemy. Declare war on Wahhabism, a putrid, violent, death cult that bares zero resemblance to actual Islam. You don't have to drop bombs to win this war. You just have to stop dropping checks. And lay the fuck off Iran! They may be the only nation capable of strangling this beast once and for all and restoring some assemblage of peace to the Middle East.

Stay safe dearest motherfuckers and if you must venture out into the wild world, make sure you take an umbrella. The blizzard of dishonesty is just gonna get worse from here.